Shelter from the Storm
by Siara Elen
Summary: Follows Freak Nation. The transgenics build a community in TC, even as the siege continues. The pressure throws Max and Alec together, building grudging friendship into true affection and maybe more, but these are dangerous times, the heart is fragile...
1. That's cold

**Disclaimer: I don't own the characters and if there was money in this for me, I wouldn't be going to work in the morning. **

**A/N: Follows on from Freak Nation. The title is the title of a Bob Dylan song. **

**I don't dislike Logan, I just felt like he and Max were over by the end of season two, and I am an Alec fan, so this story is one for the M/A readers. Logan is featured and he's still a good guy, but those of you who still love him might find my version a bit whiny for your taste. I warn you now.**

**This is my first multi-chapter fic, so I'm hoping it's coherent and will have some kind of narrative flow. It hasn't been beta read, so any mistakes are mine. I thought, if I don't post something I'll just tinker until I die of old age.**

**It's also my first Dark Angel fic. Still watching the DVDs after all these years. **

**Reviews are like cheesecake. Can't get enough. **

**Chapter One**

Everyone was busy. There was so much to do to make TC liveable if they were going to be stuck there for the foreseeable future. Max was conflicted. Her speech to the troops yesterday had been about freedom, about taking their futures in their own hands and having choices, but here they were trying to follow her lead, and they were _troops_. Still. They weren't acting free, they had organised themselves, seemingly by some organic, almost telepathic agreement, into units with leaders, a chain of command. She wasn't just a bossy know it all now, she was a Commanding Officer.

The structure seemed to give them comfort, and it sure seemed to be getting things done, but it made her feel constricted inside to watch them all replicate their military roles here on the outside.

She guessed she'd have to go with it for now, but she could make little changes, make things more fluid, more egalitarian as they went along. She hoped that those who had really embraced freedom this past year would be able to help her free the others in mind, if not in body while they were still trapped in this prison camp.

Alec could help her with that. Who liked freedom more than Alec? Where was he anyway? She looked around the hustle and bustle and couldn't spot him. Joshua rushed past, arm full of snaking cables and computer hardware, and she snagged his free hand.

"Hey Big Fella. You seen Alec?"

"Alec resting. Remember, hurt arm?"

Huh, Alec had been shot during the siege at Jam Pony, and admittedly had taken a beating, but it really wasn't that bad. He was malingering already? She was annoyed now. He liked freedom alright. He liked letting everyone else do the work while he just did whatever he wanted.

"Where is he Josh?" She tried to keep her voice light, didn't want Joshua to get all protective of Alec. She liked her smack-downs to carry the element of surprise.

Joshua nodded upwards, towards the catwalk that ran the edge of the room about 15 feet up. She could see him through the mesh of the steel that formed the walkway, sitting there as though without a care in the world. She scowled and made her way towards the stairs.

He was sitting on the floor, elbows resting on his raised knees. His head rested back against the wall and his eyes were closed. He looked so relaxed he might have dropped off. She squashed instantly the thought that always popped into her head when she saw him, especially when she saw him and he didn't see her: my god he's beautiful. That kind of thinking wasn't helpful. She focused on the matter at hand.

"Hey, dumbass! Everyone's working you know." She didn't like to stand on ceremony, and there were times she kind of liked being a leader. She didn't admit it to anyone else, but she especially enjoyed ordering Alec around.

"Hey Maxie, I'm working." He sounded friendly, didn't react to her tone at all. Didn't even open his eyes. And didn't that just get her back right up?

"Yeah? Working on being lazy. Josh said you're resting, because you're hurt, poor baby." She laid the sarcasm on thick with a trowel.

"What? No, shoulder's fine now. I'm thinking."

She snorted, "Thinking?"

"Yes, Max, I think sometimes."

"Fine, you think sometimes. Let's just go with that for now. How is you sitting here thinking helping the rest of us who are actually working?"

Alec sighed, long-suffering, and opened one eye to peer at her. "If you must know, I'm meditating. On glaciers."

He didn't like to admit it, but he enjoyed being ordered around by Max, and she was so cute when she was annoyed with him. He especially liked when he could lead her by the nose to lose it with him and then stop her short by making it known that he was actually doing something to help. He loved it when she did that confused, annoyed face, like she knew she was in the wrong but her pride wouldn't let her back down. That cracked him up. And made him feel a little gooey inside. He squashed that part of the thought right down. It couldn't lead anywhere good.

"Glaciers?" Ok, she was kind of intrigued now. She worked on keeping the scowl in place. Wouldn't do to let him think she was softening.

"Like you said, everyone's busy, Max, but there's only so much we can do to make this place inhabitable. We need supplies. We're going to need to get food in here. We need toilet paper – actually that might be more important than food. There aren't enough beds. We've got hundreds of transgenics in cramped conditions, and no drills to keep them busy. In about 12 weeks we're going to need ultrasound machines for all the pre-natal checkups. Either that, or we need a truck load of condoms in here, stat. We need to be able to get out of here and bring stuff in until we can actually live in the world again."

She couldn't disagree, and she couldn't help the slightly pained look at his mention of all those young, pretty, virile people having nothing to do but get busy with each other. She hadn't thought about that, but he sure had a point. Still, didn't explain what he was doing.

"Again, I ask, glaciers?"

"We are masters of control, Max, we can work through pain, control breathing and heart rate even under torture. We can hold our breath underwater for I don't know how many times as long as an ordinary. There's almost nothing we can't get these bodies to do if we concentrate.

"They're tracking us by body heat. I'm thinking about cold things to get my temperature down so I can move around outside without being tagged. Get us some necessaries in here."

And there was the face. God he loved that face. The screwed up eyes, frowny forehead and pouty lips. He couldn't wait to hear the verbal gymnastics it would take to get her from pissed off to agreeing with him without making it seem like she'd backed down.

Max was torn. Damn, that was a good idea, but how could she back down while still saving face? She was sure he did this on purpose. And she fell for it every time.

She heard a whistle downstairs and turned slightly to see what was happening. From up here, she could see everyone was working, but from this perspective, she could also see that Alec was right. Some of them were off scouting out and assigning quarters, mustering weapons, but the rest... It was just busy work. They were tidying up, squaring away.

The majority of them were low ranking, they weren't strategic thinkers; they just assumed those higher up the command chain were working on stuff like where their next meal was going to come from. And where they'd get toilet paper. Yeah, she sure didn't want to run out of that.

Ok, this was too important to worry about saving face.

"Is it working?"

Alec's mouth dropped open. She was agreeing? Without a fight? He was floored. Couldn't decide whether to be smug that she was acknowledging he'd done something good, or disappointed that he wasn't getting his pay off.

"Yeah, I think so, but I don't have a thermometer. That's another thing we could do with, by the way. Feel my forehead, compare it with yours."

She put one hand on his forehead and one on her own. Damn, he was colder than her. She smiled, "I think so! Hang, on, I'll get Cindy. We'll compare with her." She stood, looking for her friend and spotted her over in the far corner, hanging out with Gem and the baby.

"Hey, OC, over here, girl!"

As Original Cindy made her way over, Alec closed his eyes again breathing slowly, thinking cold thoughts. Wasn't easy with the memory of Max's hand on his forehead. Ok, stop that! He admonished himself. Icebergs, blizzards, that time he'd had to hide underwater in the Baltic Sea in January for over an hour with no wetsuit and only a snorkel while waiting for the watch to lose interest and go away so he could come up a for real breath and swim for the extraction boat. He shivered even at the memory.

He felt the air shift as Max crouched down by him again, tried not to react to her hand back on his forehead.

Then Original Cindy was there too, "He OK?"

"Cindy get down here, let me feel your forehead."

"Sure, Boo. What's goin' on?"

"He's trying to lower his temperature, so he can sneak outside."

"It working?"

"Need to use you as a thermometer to check."

Cindy sat next to Max and they formed a triangle, each feeling the other two's foreheads. Max spoke first, "Ok, you're definitely colder than me, but can you get it a little lower?"

Alec grunted and tried not to think about the two smokin' hot women touching his forehead and each other. Cold things. Ice cream, beer from the fridge. Endurance training when he was a kid at Manticore: hours in a meat locker.

Max sucked in a breath that sounded like a shudder, "Ok, that's a little too low. Just come up a little."

He shut off the meat locker memory. Hadn't really wanted to go there anyway. Stuck with snow on branches and frost crunching underfoot.

"That's it I think. Hold it there. Can you maintain it? Can you keep it up when you're moving around and not concentrating on it?"

"Gimme a sec to memorise it." He kept his eyes closed, stayed relaxed, concentrated. Focused on the exact sensations he was experiencing in contact with normal transgenic temperature and the target normal human temperature. "Ok, I got it. Let me see if I can keep it going."

They all dropped their hands and rose to their feet. Alec still had his back to the wall. It felt weird, kind of horrible actually. He hated being too cold. He'd hated that endurance training as a kid, and the cold was even worse than the hot. Still, if it got the job done. He liked eating more than he disliked the cold.

He took the lead back down the stairs and looked around for something to be busy with. Mole had a couple of X6s with him carrying boxes, so he fell in with them, figuring physical work would be a good test.

Max and Cindy approached him half an hour later and he handed his box to Dalton so they could make their little triangle again. He tried not to let himself get warm at the smiles he was getting from both women.

"Damn, you did it Alec!" He was kind of touched by the look on Max's face: pleased, impressed, relieved. Wouldn't do to get sappy though.

"You don't have to sound so surprised Max!" He feigned hurt.

"I didn't mean..." Max's heart sank. She wasn't trying to be a bitch. Seemed like it just came out sometimes. Alec could be a real jerk, and he deserved it those times, but she wanted to be fair to him. This was something that could really make a difference to all of them. He deserved credit for it.

"I'm kidding Max." He grinned that shit-eating grin at her, and she growled in frustration.

"Asshole!" She punched him in the arm. That always made her feel better. Still, in recognition of his success, she did at least make sure to hit the arm without the healing bullet wound. It was all the consideration he deserved though.

They tried a couple of other tests, and found he was able to maintain the lower temperature while concentrating on writing some code for the security system upgrade, and even while sparring with Max.

Max was getting excited; he'd kept it up for several hours. This was starting to smell like freedom of a sort.

"We'll get everyone trying it. We'll be able to run some away missions, get the food in; the toilet paper, like you said." She announced over a dinner of canned potatoes. She was surprised that Alec was actually the one pulling her back, reining in her expectations.

He shook his head, "Simmer down, Max. We need a field test first. We need to know if I can actually do it outside before we get everyone's hopes up.

"If I go out, get us some thermometers, it'll kill two birds with one stone, I'll come back and we can practice with the others, make sure we know who can do it and who can't."

She nodded. She couldn't let herself get carried away. Doing it under test conditions was one thing, but maintaining it in the field, under pressure of working a mission, that could be much harder. Some of the younger ones might find it too difficult.

Alec raised another concern she hadn't considered, "Need to be careful too. Morale with the transhumans – this isn't going to be nearly as helpful to them as to us, and we can't have it be another thing creating distance. Can't let them think we're just going to ditch them."

Alec maintained the human temperature well into the evening, but he had to confess to Max that it really took it out of him. He was uncomfortable all the time, and by the time he allowed his body to warm back to normal, he was exhausted. Still they were encouraged; they had something tangible they'd achieved, something that really could make the difference to all of them.

They agreed that Alec would go out tomorrow.

Max was antsy all night, couldn't sleep, which wasn't unusual, but she couldn't stop thinking about Alec, which was unusual. Well, more unusual.

She couldn't deny there had been times when he'd kept her up nights before, although they were usually times when she'd got herself so riled up at him, that she wanted to get out of bed, storm over to his apartment and yell at him, until he admitted he was a selfish, careless, impossible jerk.

Then there were the other times. The times when it all got too tough with Logan and she thought about how it would be easier if she gave up and tried to be with someone different.

On those nights, somehow it was Alec who crept into her thoughts. He was a selfish, careless, impossible jerk, but he could also be funny, exciting and surprisingly thoughtful. And damn, he was fine looking.

This time he'd really surprised her. He'd raised his hand when she'd asked them all who was with her, but she didn't really think anything of it. She thought he'd hang with her, probably help out as he had done the past year, under apparent sufferance and with a detached amusement. And he'd do it for as long as it amused him, then one day he'd decide TC was a crap-hole and he'd be better off looking out for number one on the open road. Thinking on it though, that was unfair. He had changed over the months she'd known him. He'd helped her in ways that were above and beyond what she'd expect from the guy she'd first met.

What he'd done today though, that gave her a glimpse of Alec that she hadn't really seen before. While they were all working on the immediate, because the future seemed too huge to get to grips with, he'd figured the immediate could look after itself for a little bit while he thought about what would happen if they were stuck there for more than a week or two, which she had to confess was likely.

So not only had he taken the time to think through what they really needed, but he'd come up with a totally inspired idea on how they could get it. Then he'd figured out the practicalities of using it, and had foreseen the drawbacks so they could decide how to mitigate them.

She was great at kicking ass and thinking on the fly, and had surprised herself at how good she'd been at bringing them all together with her speech, but she knew she wouldn't have come up with that idea in a million years.

She was starting to think Alec wasn't just an annoying pain in her ass that she had to keep rescuing from his own stupidity and recklessness. Maybe there was someone there that she could rely on. That she needed.

He was stupid and reckless and she couldn't rely on him at all. She was seething that he'd pulled the wool over her eyes, _again_. He'd used her and Cindy to help him master his escape plan, and then that's exactly what he'd done: escaped.

They'd agreed that he would go out, get a bunch of thermometers and be back. They weren't necessarily an easy to come by item, so there may be some larceny involved. Still, should be pretty simple. Two hours, tops, they'd agreed.

Four hours later and he wasn't back. After two and a half, she'd been uneasy. After three she'd been worried. Now it occurred to her that she'd been played. His barcode was freshly lasered and invisible and he could maintain a normal human body temperature for in excess of ten hours. He hadn't been caught. He hadn't got in trouble. He'd skedaddled and she couldn't believe she'd been so stupid.

She'd actually thought they could be a good team, work together for the good of the group. She'd lain in bed last night thinking Alec would make a great Deputy for her, that they'd cover each other's weaknesses, back each other up. She'd get him to knuckle down and be responsible and he'd get her to lighten up, make her laugh. She'd had it all planned out. God, she was so stupid.

Just as she'd written him off completely he'd shown up and she was so relieved she kind of didn't want to look too hard at why. Yes, she was glad to know her trust hadn't been betrayed. She did want to believe in him, but that wasn't all of it. In that second when she'd seen his face she'd felt overwhelming relief, and then her heart nearly stopped when she saw the blood coating his hand.

Was that what she'd feel for just a friend? Of course. Squash that thought, now.

She walked right up to him and shoved him in the chest, hard, and yelled at him. "Where the HELL have you been?"

"Gee Maxie, lovely to see you too!"

"Two hours, Alec; that was the deal!"

He was a little pale, and the bloody hand was pressed to his side, but somehow she couldn't get herself to give him a break. If she did, she'd have to focus on his injury, and that would be bad. There was something deep down inside that was feeling all worried and protective. That was really bad.

"Max, missions can be a little fluid, you know that. Things happen and you have to improvise. Relax already, would you? I'm here, the stuff's here. What's your problem?"

She bit her lip. She needed to calm down. She did sound a little bit overwrought, and the others were starting to look at her sideways.

"How did you get hurt?"

"Hey, what can I say? I may not be _just_ a pretty face, but I _am_ a pretty face... People remember me. I'm hard to miss." He winced as Mole roughly pulled his hand aside and slapped a piece of gauze over the bloody tear in his side. It stung and then some.

He'd got cocky, he knew that. He'd been wearing the hood and the shades, but he'd been looking out for White and the Sector Cops and focusing on keeping his body temp under control. He hadn't seen the girl until it was too late. He felt kind of betrayed. Yes, it had been a one night stand, but that was all she'd wanted too at the time, it wasn't like she had a reason to be sore with him. They'd spent one glorious night together a few months back, but seeing him on the news at the Jam Pony siege she'd believed the propaganda and figured him for just another animal. If _he'd_ known _she_ was wanted by the police and he'd spotted her, he'd have offered her a place to hole up, not turned her in. Guess she was just like all those other ordinaries. A sheep.

Now Max was giving him a hard time too. Perfect day. And he'd thought it all was going so well. He'd had a genuine brainwave, a way to prove his worth to Max and for once she'd looked at him like he was worth bothering with. He'd got carried away. And now he was bleeding and Max was mad at him. She wasn't going to trust him again after this. His bravado slipped a little and he sank into a chair, suddenly exhausted.

She softened. He looked wiped. She knew staying frosty had tired him out on the test run yesterday, but keeping it up under fire had to have been double-tough. "What happened?"

"Got recognised. Cops were called. Guns were fired, there was running and shouting, and here I am. Don't worry, I lost them before I came through the tunnel."

She took a deep breath. Maybe if she just looked at the injury and stopped looking at his face, that would help. Break him into parts, easier to deal with than the whole Alec. She knelt down at his side and gently moved her hand over the blood soaked gauze. "Show me," she said softly.

The wound wasn't life threatening. The bullet had gouged a long furrow low on his ribs on the left. Could have been a lot worse, nothing was broken. It was a nasty, deep gash though, and she took him back to his place to get it cleaned up. She put in some stitches and covered it with fresh gauze.

She put the kettle on for coffee and stared out of the window until it boiled. She brought the cups over to the couch where he was sitting. She sat facing him on the coffee table. In spite of not having any painkillers to give him when she put the stitches in, he looked a little better for just being able to sit and relax. His colour was back, and he accepted the coffee gratefully.

"You OK?" she asked. He just nodded. He leaned over to drag his back pack towards him, but she stopped him with a hand to his forearm, pulling the bag to him and letting him unzip it.

He gestured and she looked inside. It was full to bursting, and she pulled out a paper bag from the top, unfolding it and checking inside. There were about fifty strip thermometers, plenty for them to work on mastering the skill in groups, and easy for them to carry around outside so they could keep a check on themselves on missions. She put the bag beside her on the table and stuck her hand back in the backpack. There was a larger plastic bag next. She pulled it out and opened it, and couldn't help the snort of laughter. The bag was full to the brim with hundreds of condoms. He caught her eye and they smiled at each other. It was oddly tender and did something to her heart that she wasn't quite prepared for.

He put his arm in the bag next and pulled out a smaller bag. He opened it and pulled out a few items that had her blushing with pleasure. He'd been to her place. He'd broken in and got her girly stuff for her: her razor, her tweezers, her nail file, her shampoo, her favourite nightshirt, her cosy slippers. Tears formed in her eyes. She couldn't believe he'd been so thoughtful. It wasn't much to show for a life, but she was so grateful to have those few familiar objects.

He was surprised and more touched than he'd expected when she leaned forwards and put her arms around him and kissed him on the cheek. Her "Thank you" was quiet and utterly heartfelt and filled him with warmth.

She stayed for a while, and they talked about what the priorities for the next few days should be, made some plans for supply runs they'd take if the temperature control exercise worked as well as they hoped for the others. After an hour or so, Alec's eyes started to drift closed and she pulled him up and sent him off to bed while she tidied up the first aid kit and rinsed the coffee cups.

She checked in on him before she left. He was lying on his side, sleeping peacefully. She tried not to think about the soppy feeling she got from pulling his blanket a little higher and tucking it under his chin.

**Continues soon. **

6


	2. Hubris

**Disclaimer in Chapter One.**

**A/N – Thank you for the reviews and the story alerts. Thanks too to those who stopped by to read. **

**Something weird happened with chapter one – I had little section breaks which disappeared when I copy/pasted from Word into Document Manager. I apologise if it made the changes of perspective and tone jump a little oddly. Hope this one will be better.**

**

* * *

**

**Chapter Two**

Alec's class, "Meditating on Glaciers" was a big success. He'd made sure to include the transhumans (though some of the cold blooded ones were meditating on desert island beaches and Christmas by the crackling wood fire) making it clear that with a decent disguise, they'd be welcome – he'd used the word "needed" – on the supply runs too.

The reward for mastering the skill was a condom. They all applied themselves to the task with frightening commitment and a lot of them got to grips with it almost as easily as Alec had.

Max was one of the quickest, having been there when Alec was practising and seen how he'd done it. She was going to forego the reward, but in the end she took it...hell, you never knew and it was better to be prepared. She was a mostly free agent these days, after all.

When she was confident, she spent some time helping Alec to work with the others. Most of them were able to do it, at least for a short time, by the end of that first day. Some were better than others; although the ones with more monkey or bird DNA found it difficult to sit still long enough to meditate. Everyone was going to keep practising though. They all wanted to be able to leave TC now and then. And they all wanted their condom.

They had decided not to train the younger ones immediately. Max knew they were trained soldiers, but she couldn't see them as anything but children and she really didn't want them getting the idea that they'd be going on missions that might be dangerous. She wanted the adults trained first. They'd get TC up to muster with all the supplies they needed, and when Alec had some free time, he'd help the little ones. There was no telling when they might need the skill after all.

Max and Alec were encouraged by the progress. They had at least ten people they could use for away missions in the next couple of days. In fact, toilet paper was running low, so the first went ahead that night.

* * *

She'd tried getting through to Clemente, but he wasn't kidding when he'd said it was out of his hands. He wasn't even allowed to take her calls. But then, she was having no luck talking to anyone higher up either. Every time she talked to anyone in authority, they just wanted her to open the gates and surrender. There was no way she was going to do that. But they were refusing to even discuss allowing in supplies.

So, her teams were running missions all over the city. It was the food situation that was toughest, even with rationing. They were young, fit, strong. A lot of them still growing. They had big appetites. They needed to replenish supplies regularly and often. Food was tough to come by in Seattle even for ordinaries, but the transgenics were forced to try to steal huge quantities of food and sneak it all in past a well monitored perimeter.

It was amazing the effect the supply runs had on morale. Everyone felt better knowing there were stocks of food, dry goods and medicine that weren't going to run out immediately. They felt like they had a safety net at least. And getting one over on the ordinaries barricading the perimeter was perhaps even better for their spirits.

It took the panache of a consummate hustler like Alec to steal an entire semi-truck full of food bound for a summit of world leaders in Olympia and drive it past the armed guards and through the gates with nothing but a piece of paper showing the forged signature of the Secretary of State.

Max sent Gem with the baby and Dalton to spin that one as a peaceful demonstration, rather than a breathtakingly shameless act of larceny, for the news crews at the gates. It was the innocent faces of the baby and Dalton (Max congratulated him afterwards on his totally awesome "sad face") on the evening news that prevented the authorities just taking up a helicopter and strafing the entire compound.

They opened the truck to find trays upon trays of canapés, a walk in freezer section with joints of meat and fish, a refrigerated section full of fresh vegetables and delicacies many of them had never even heard of. They were able to hook the truck up to the generator so that they would be able to make a lot of it last for a good long while.

The canapés, and some of the fresh stuff wouldn't last though, so they threw a late "Transgenic Independence Day" party. They toasted to freedom with real champagne. Those who'd been on bodyguard detail to high-ups or done sneaky missions in diplomatic circles back in the day testified to the fact that the big wigs were not scrimping. This was the good stuff.

She wasn't worried about keeping them all together just now, and she wasn't worried about the mutterings she'd heard the first days wondering why she was the one in charge, the girl who'd escaped, left them all behind: What did she know? She hadn't heard those whispers for a couple of weeks now. The relative comfort for the citizens of TC had given her the leeway she needed to get to know people, to work on relationships and build loyalty. They were working together to make Terminal City into a community.

Max's stock was high, and she knew she had Alec to thank for that.

Alec was in a good mood too. His success seemed to have solidified his commitment to the cause. She hadn't said anything to him, but even so, he'd become her de facto Deputy. He had ideas and brought them to her, and they worked them through and she provided the authority to put them into practice. He had her back, and she felt safe and supported. Leadership could have been lonely, but Alec was making it kind of fun.

* * *

The supply teams were putting the word out. Lots of them knew someone on the outside sympathetic to their cause, so when transgenics showed up in Seattle having seen on the news that there was a community, albeit under lock down, there were people keeping them in safe houses until the teams could hook up with them and bring them in safely.

Within a month their numbers had doubled to nearly four hundred. Amongst the newbies were the kids Max and Alec had helped to escape to Canada right after the Manticore break out, Fixit, Ralph, Zero, Bullet, and Bugler. Max was kind of sad to see them at first, but Fixit had told her that they had settled in up there, got jobs and all, and it had been fun but they felt they needed to come back and help. Wanted to stand with their comrades and be part of the cause. Well, she couldn't argue with that.

Ralph was helping out a lot, wanted to be her batman, so to speak, and it was kind of like having a little sister again.

What was really weird was that Sam had shown up too. She wasn't staying in TC, she had a husband and kid after all, in fact her place was outside Seattle – It wouldn't do to look like X5-452 within the city limits, but she'd relented as far as blaming Max for everything, and she was helping out here and there, letting transgenics stay in her spare room before they made the skip into the compound, and keeping a weather eye out for transgenic related incidents. Gave Max a hell of a start the day she'd come face to face with herself again.

Alec had snuck Cindy and Sketchy back home after a few days. They had their lives on the outside, and it wasn't safe for them with all the toxins inside TC. She and Cindy were talking on the phone a lot though, and now it was easier for Max to move around outside, she was hooking up with them both now and then at Crash.

Logan was around pretty often, using his press pass to get in and out of the barricades. He'd offered to set up a documentary, Life Among the Transgenics, but she and Alec had discussed it, and they'd agreed it was too risky while emotions were still running so high outside. If it could be guaranteed to create some good will, fantastic, but there was always the possibility of it backfiring, and if that happened they didn't want any more transgenics to be recognisable targets. Logan had suggested blurring out faces, but Alec pointed out that just made them look even more shady.

The project was on the back burner for now, and Max suspected that Logan was feeling a little bent out of shape to have been shut down, especially because she was agreeing with Alec over him. Still, Logan was a decent guy and he was still helping out where he could. As much as anything though, he was just keeping company with them.

He and Max weren't back together exactly. He was a sharp guy and it hadn't taken long for him to figure out that her "thing" with Alec was a smoke screen. If she had to guess, it was the number of times she smacked Alec round the head on any given day that had given her away.

Logan got why she'd done it, even sympathised. Even so, she was pretty sure it was mostly over with him, and she was starting to realise that her feelings were getting more platonic these days. She felt like maybe the virus had had a Pavlovian effect on her: she'd learned not to touch him and so now she didn't really miss not touching him.

She wasn't actively looking for the cure anymore. If it showed up it would be a weight off her mind, but she had other priorities these days.

She wasn't sure about his feelings, was it still the same as when they'd almost had it, or was it just that she was forbidden fruit? Maybe it was worse than that; maybe it was habit.

He'd kind of let her go when he'd thought she and Alec were together, but then they'd held hands at the flag raising and that had muddied up the waters again a little. He was sympathetic to their cause, but he didn't need to be in TC to help them, so she knew he was only there to see her. He wasn't pushing it though, and she wasn't making an issue of it. She was kind of hoping it would fizzle out of its own accord when he found he was needed more elsewhere.

And then there was Alec. They were getting on really well these days. And sometimes she thought there might be more to it. There was definitely chemistry. There was very definitely heat. But she didn't want to ruin their friendship when she wasn't sure of her feelings or his. She'd been on her own a good long while, and she was a strong, independent women, like OC always said. She could look to her own satisfaction; she didn't need to be a notch on any transgenic male's bed post.

Maybe that was unfair though. As far as she knew, Alec hadn't been sleeping around in TC. She certainly hadn't had to break up any cat fights like she had when he was sowing his wild oats back at Jam Pony. Things were more complicated here, and she figured he understood that misunderstandings of the romantic variety could affect morale. If he was going to do anything, she hoped he would only be acting on honest feelings.

Actually that was complete rubbish. The thought of him with another woman filled her with lots of complicated emotions she didn't want to examine too closely. She knew she had no hold on him, no right to an opinion, she just knew that she would feel she'd lost something precious if she discovered he was with someone else.

Still, she had plenty to think about, and that kept her from dwelling too much on romantic complications with any man. Actually, she was happier than she'd been in a long time. She wasn't hiding anymore. She had a mission.

So things were going pretty well considering they'd been locked in a derelict district breathing in a toxic soup and surrounded by a baying mob for more than a month.

Of course there's nothing like hubris to bring on disaster.

* * *

It was a routine heist, they weren't expecting trouble. Mole was leading the team of six on a run to the docks where they were planning to intercept a vessel coming in with a few tonnes of frozen fish. Mole wasn't saying anything, but he'd developed some expensive tastes since he'd been out of Manticore. It wasn't just cigars he craved – they were just the easiest things to get and to make last. The second Luke had mentioned fishing vessel, he'd volunteered. He was thinking king prawns. Heck, if he was really lucky, there would be oysters in the catch, and – his mouth watered at the thought – lobster.

The plan was simple, Fran had pinched a yacht from the marina down the bay and she was bringing her in with the intention of appearing like a lost and inebriated tourist in charge of a boat she couldn't control. She'd sail her under engine power to the side of the _Mary Sue_, close enough to scratch, but not enough to affect her sea-worthiness, then, while the crew was distracted, Luke and Mole would corner and secure them, while Bullet took the helm and Fritz and Cob, having taken control of the winching equipment, would unload what they could carry into the yacht and sail away just as the larger ship reached her berth. Simple.

Or it would have been if the off duty guard hadn't spotted them at just the wrong moment. The winch had to be steadied, and as Fritz reached up to grab the chain, his hood fell back, his snow white hair luminescent in the moonlight. It caught the guard's eye as he passed the pier and they were screwed.

The guard had seen enough on TV and in the papers to know not to approach one of the freaks. He melted into the shadows and called for backup. The coastguard, the port cops and every available dock hand were raised. The transgenics didn't know they'd been spotted until they were surrounded, and then it was too late.

The dockers had had a dull night, two of the vessels they'd been expecting were delayed by fog, and if they wanted to get paid they'd have to stay until there was something to unload. It was cold and there wasn't much to do, so giving some transgenic mutants a good beating would have really improved their night. Unfortunately for them, and security concerns being what they were in a post-pulse world, the port cops and the coast guard were heavily armed with machine guns.

The dockers didn't get their hands on any live transgenics. No, they had to wait until Fritz, Bullet and Cob were riddled with bullets and dead on the ground before they got their chance. Only Mole, Luke and Fran had been able to fight their way out. They made it back to the yacht and could only watch as the men moved in closer, blocking the bodies of their friends from view.

* * *

Max was in her office with Logan when Mole's radio report came in moments before what was left of his team made it back. She ran all the way from her office to the new field hospital, leaving Logan in her dust. The breaking news was already on TVs across TC.

She'd heard Mole's radio report, but hadn't seen the footage. Alec had been at Joshua's, which was a little closer and they were already there. They'd seen the news, and Max was glad for a moment she hadn't because Alec's face was white, and he was crouched beside a sobbing Joshua, trying to comfort him.

Luke was unhurt, but both Mole and Fran were wounded, though not seriously. Logan finally caught up as TC's two highest ranking field medics, Cam and Jin took charge of them, ushering them away from the others, to give them space to regroup before having to face questions or concern.

It wasn't long before Jin came out and put their minds at ease. Both Mole and Luke would be ok. They'd been lucky, taking fairly superficial injuries. Fran needed some fluids, but Mole had been stitched up and was fine to head home.

He came out of the exam room and Max was shocked to see his air of defeat. His head was down, shoulders slumped and his walk was more a shuffle. He sensed their presence and looked up, not quite meeting their eyes.

"Max. I'm ready to debrief whenever you want me." His tone was oddly deferential too. She didn't like it at all.

* * *

Mole's report was pretty much what she'd pieced together from his radio report and what the others had been saying about the news stories. He was devastated. They hadn't lost anyone since they'd staked TC as their territory and since he'd led the mission, he felt the deaths of his team were his fault, no matter what Max tried to say to the contrary. She walked him back to his place once they were done. She was shocked that he allowed that amount of support, so when he turned at his door and said goodnight she accepted it. He clearly wanted to be alone.

She didn't want to go home yet, so she made her way back to her office, meeting up with Alec outside Joshua's. He'd left Joshua sleeping, worn out from crying. They didn't talk, lost in their own thoughts. Gradually, she became aware of noise coming from the gates out front. She looked to her left and saw that Alec had noticed it too. Without a word, they adjusted their path to head for the commotion.

Max's mouth fell open. Things had been quieter the last couple of weeks, people getting bored with demonstrating outside and getting no reaction from inside, but now, it looked like there were thousands out there. It was a riot. Alec pulled her back as a Molotov sailed over the gate and landed with an explosion yards from their feet. Other transgenics were there too, watching, and the mood was desolate.

Obviously the pictures in the news had done nothing for their cause. Forget that three of their number had been shot dead with no opportunity to give themselves up. Forget that their bodies had been beaten and put on display for the fun of it. The crowd outside figured the freaks had got what was coming to them, and if they had their way, the rest of them would follow tonight.

The news cameras were tracking the protesters and the watching transgenics. She hated to see her own people looking so defeated, but she was glad they weren't reacting with anger. The last thing they needed was to give the news crews pictures of them looking dangerous and frightening. She needed to get them away, back into HQ before any of them accessed their inner berserker and decided to dole out some pain on a suicide mission outside the gate.

It was testament to how lost they were feeling that she barely had to raise her voice before they were trailing her back.

Somehow the word had got around and everyone had gathered in command. Grief stricken, confused faces stared at her, looking to her to answer the questions, why had this happened? Why had it become their fault? And what the hell were they going to do next. She was overwhelmed by the need in their eyes. She had no idea what to say.

All she could do was open her mouth and let them hear whatever came out. She wasn't sure afterwards what she had said. There were phrases like stand strong, hold fast, don't lose hope, stick together. It was all cliché, and it sounded like cotton in her mouth. Dry, tasteless, without nourishment.

* * *

She was worried about Alec. He trailed her back to the office and slumped in his chair. His expression was blank and he hadn't spoken. He didn't acknowledge Logan's sympathetic shoulder squeeze. She needed him badly right now, needed him to back her up, to say something to lighten the mood. She guessed maybe she needed to say something to get him to join in.

"It'll be ok, Alec. We won't forget Bullet and Cob and Fritz, but we'll fix this. We'll get back on track. That stuff outside, it'll blow over, they'll lose interest and go home." He looked up at her and she was shocked by the depth of anguish in his eyes.

"You still don't get it do you?" Alec turned his head to glance out of the window, it was easier to talk if he wasn't looking at them.

"We knew what Manticore was doing to us sucked, and I don't know about the others but I knew some of the missions, especially when it was about protecting Manticore's interests, they were dirty work, but we didn't really have a choice about that. So we focused on the stuff we knew was worthwhile. We had years of training, years of being told it was all about loyalty and duty and patriotism.

"We believed that, Max. We weren't evil minions, we were soldiers. Like any other soldier. We were protecting our country. We went on the missions ordinary soldiers wouldn't have been able to. We were protecting them as well as the public.

"That's what pisses me off about all this anti-transgenic stuff. They've got us pinned down in this crap hole, or on the run, or strung up in the street. You didn't see the news tonight Max. You didn't see what they did to them. Our friends."

He couldn't keep his voice from cracking at the thought of what had happened to Biggs and Cece just a few weeks ago, and the three they'd lost tonight, Bullet, Fritz and Cob.

"We risked our lives for these people, some of us died for them. And they're out there with placards, throwing incendiaries, calling us evil freaks and baying for our blood?"

Max was jolted by Alec's outburst. He was right, she hadn't got it before, she'd never thought of it like that. She'd never been sent on a mission by Manticore. She'd been a kid in training until she escaped, then she was a recalcitrant deserter being brought to heel. All she'd ever experienced was boot camp. She'd never been in the field, in a war.

Neither Alec, nor the others she'd spent time with had ever spoken about their missions in her presence. But no wonder they were upset. For her it was anger, and yes, even hurt at being misunderstood, at being labelled a freak. For the others it was about that, but it was also about being betrayed by the very people they'd spent their lives protecting. It was having their dedication, their bravery and sacrifice, their every achievement wiped away.

"Alec, we'll make this right. We'll convince them we're not the threat they think we are. We'll be free again."

"Yeah, we should definitely do that. We should make them feel better." His voice was bitter, monotone. He was sick of it all, and Max couldn't blame him. She crouched by him and put a hand on his arm. He looked down at her hand and she was shocked to see his eyes shining. He was trying to hold back tears.

She worked on keeping her voice gentle, "Tell me, Alec. Tell me about one of your missions." She thought maybe it would help if someone, even another transgenic knew something good he'd done, but he blinked away the emotion and moved out of her grasp. She followed his eyes and realised he was looking over to Logan. Damn, she'd forgotten he was still here. Maybe she'd have got Alec to open up if they were alone, but there was far too much between them for Alec to ever let his guard down around Logan.

"It's not even about... Max, we can get around if we're careful. We can get rid of the barcode, we can run a little colder and we look human. But what about Josh and Mole and all those guys? It's too dangerous for them out there. They're stuck here now, relying on us to get them food and supplies. They're still prisoners.

"When's it gonna happen, Max? We were gonna walk into the light, all of us. We were gonna take our place in the world."

She didn't have an answer. Alec sniffed, and she knew she'd lost him this time. "I gotta blaze." He said, his tone even and clipped. Back under control. And then he was gone from the room.

* * *

Alec wasn't one to stay down hearted, and the next morning when she saw him, he was back to his usual self, but she wouldn't forget what he'd said, and more importantly how devastated he'd been. She knew he felt things a lot more deeply than he ever let on, and that was something he shared with a lot of the transgenic population, including her. It was a coping mechanism. It didn't do to assume that just because they looked calm and sounded sanguine, they weren't feeling the pressure, that they weren't frustrated and angry and hurt.

They held a gathering. They didn't have bodies to bury or a church to pray in. Most of them didn't feel that church was something for them anyway. They got together in the square though, and told stories about their three lost friends. They toasted them with the last of the diplomatic scotch.

She thought about saying something at the memorial, trying to rally their morale a little, but it seemed wrong somehow to hijack the day. She couldn't tell them anything new anyway. She didn't have a way to make things better for them. She didn't have any way to get concessions for more supplies. Hell, she couldn't even get them to return the bodies. They were going to have to rein in the sorties - they were on full lock down now, the atmosphere outside so tense that it was just too much of a risk to try to breach the perimeter. They were going to have to dig in and make what they had last until the attention had died down again. She felt claustrophobic, they all did, and anything she said about hanging tough and sticking together and it'll all get better eventually; it would have sounded just as hollow as last time.

Even though it had so little of a traditional funeral about it, they all felt the gravity of it. They'd been able to give a little dignity back to their fallen friends, even if those friends would never know it. Max found it intensely moving. It was the first time she had heard any of their stories from the front line, and she couldn't help thinking back to what Alec had said that night. He was her closest friend these days, the one she relied on most of all and still she knew so little about him.

* * *

**Continues soon. Please review!**

4


	3. Pressure

**Disclaimer: I don't own Dark Angel. I wish I did, but if wishes were horses, my flat would be pretty stinky...**

**A/N: In chapter 2, I owe the idea of a fixation on the scarcity of toilet paper to future Chuck in the Supernatural season 5 episode **_**The End**_**. Also to my Dad, who buys toilet paper in bulk, just in case...**

**Chapter 3**

It was a tough few weeks. The tension remained high outside the compound, and they had to ration everything carefully, not knowing how long it would be before they'd be able to risk another heist. Max was doing her best to keep everyone working together, and to their credit, they were all digging deep in their reserves of energy, commitment and loyalty. Nobody was moaning about the dwindling supplies or the feeling of the walls closing in around them, but everyone was anxious. They knew it wasn't her fault, and everyone was really careful to make sure that Mole, Luke and Fran didn't think they were being blamed, but Max knew that if it went on much longer, someone was going to snap. Hell, she couldn't be sure it wouldn't be her.

She'd dropped in on Mole, Luke and Fran in turn the morning after the funeral. They were all pretty shaken, but as mission commander, Mole was really shattered. She wasn't sure how it was possible, a man with no hair, green scales and nothing in his wardrobe but fatigues, but he was actually managing to look dishevelled.

It was moments like this when the reality of leadership really sank in and left her feeling exposed and overwhelmed. She knew Mole's respect was grudging and contingent on his perception of her performance. She didn't want to let any of them down, but she knew Mole was influential with the others because he was tough, no-nonsense and hard to please. She couldn't afford to fail with him. Which sucked because she wasn't really sure how to talk to him about anything other than weapons and tactics.

"You OK?"

"Fine."

"Wasn't your fault, you know. Nothing wrong with the plan."

"Hmm," Mole grunted, non-committal.

"You can take a break. Come back when you're ready. No one will think less of you."

"Right. We gonna hug now?"

"What am I? Your mother? Ugh! We done with this massive slush-fest already?"

"That was touching Max, really. You should be a therapist."

"Suck it up, lizard man."

She figured she'd done her best, having teased a reluctant smile out of him. He showed up in Command later in the day, and he was distracted but he was trying. She couldn't ask for more than that.

* * *

They had enough food left for a couple of days, if they ate like birds. She was going to have to send a team out. The level of danger involved meant there was no way she was going to assign anyone. That meant asking for volunteers. She really didn't want to ask for volunteers. Alec would volunteer, and he'd be picked because he was the best: stealthy, fast and resourceful, but that hadn't prevented him getting hurt in the past and the thought of him out there right now made her heart pound in her chest. She couldn't do without his friendship, without his steady support right now. She couldn't sleep, couldn't eat even her meagre ration. She was stressed out.

She flopped into her chair and Alec looked up. "You ok, Maxie?"

"I'm fine! Why do you keep asking me that?"

"Ok you're fine. I was just being polite."

He rolled his eyes, as though taking her snarkiness at face value. He knew she was closing in on her limit. He felt bad he'd laid all his own crap on her the night of the failed mission. He'd walked out of their office desolate, but half way home, he'd become furious with himself. He should have known she'd have enough fall out to deal with without his making her worry about him. So he'd gone home and allowed himself one night to wallow in misery and one of those really good bottles of scotch.

Then in the morning, he put his "I'm always all right" face right back on.

It was what Max needed from him, and he wasn't going to let her down when things got tough. She was snapping at him, and that was good, because it meant she wasn't snapping at the others. Ralph and Joshua both would give her the kicked puppy look and she'd just feel worse. He at least could pretend that her words didn't cut. He just needed to find a way to take the pressure off her a little.

There was a single knock and the door opened. Logan. Alec rolled his eyes again and tried to suppress a huff of annoyance. He still felt kind of embarrassed that Logan had been witness to his melt down, but mainly he was irritated by the guy showing up all the time wanting attention when Max needed to be looking out for herself.

He knew Max still loved Logan, in that "make everything complicated and angst-ridden" way she had, but this stringing it out wasn't doing her any good.

With the bad air in TC, it wasn't like the ordinary could be there all the time – although often it felt like he was – and there was still no known cure for the virus, so why the hell did he keep torturing himself and Max by showing up and trying to keep it all going. It was the worst long-distance relationship ever.

It wasn't that he was jealous. Alec did not get jealous. He was Max's friend, her wing-man. Her close friend, yes, but he didn't expect anything to happen between them. No, he didn't feel that way about Max. Sure she was hot, and he was pretty sure sometimes he caught her checking him out, but it wasn't even like that.

Obviously now and then he fantasised about what would happen if she came to his door, in heat. A guy was only transgenic, after all. But they had too much important stuff to do in TC to risk complicated entanglements.

It wasn't like he yearned for her or anything. Not even when he found his mind wandering to that half-asleep memory of Max smoothing the blanket over him the night he came back from that solo mission a little banged up and she'd stitched him up and hung out until he'd decompressed enough to sleep.

It wasn't like he spent any time wondering what had gone on when he found out Max had been all alone with Logan in her office that night before all hell broke loose.

"Hey Max," Logan was doing that soft voice that Alec really hated. The one packed with all that tenderness and wistfulness. That "I know I can't have you but I still love you" tone that was just bull-crap, because they were doomed, and Logan was just trying to keep Max in his pit of misery when she was trying to move on.

"Hey Logan."

See, they didn't even have anything to say to each other. How was he even getting in all the time? Surely someone would expect something journalistic to come of all his visits? Wasn't anyone asking him questions when he left through the gates? What, was a press pass as good as frigging diplomatic immunity these days? What use was a police state if they didn't even hassle annoyingly self-righteous types like Logan?

"Alec." The voice was terse when Logan greeted him. The tension wasn't one sided. Alec knew Logan felt jealous at how much time Max spent with him, especially when Logan couldn't be in TC. Alec couldn't pretend this didn't cheer him up a little.

"Logan. What can we do for you this fine day?"

"Just here to see Max."

"Mm hmm. Well we are a little busy these days you know, so unless that backpack's full of beef jerky or toilet paper, there's not much you can do besides distract her right now."

"Me, a distraction. This from "Mr. What trouble can I get myself in now?" You're the one Max is always having to drop everything for."

"You mind not talking about me as though I'm not here?" Max had got to her feet and was glowering at both of them. It wasn't just her usual exasperated tone; there was real edge in her voice. Alec kicked himself, he hadn't meant to tear at Max's nerves; it was just second nature to needle Logan. He'd be more careful.

"Sorry Maxie. I'm gonna go see Mole, ask him to assign the detail to hand out tonight's rations." He froze with his hand on the doorknob as he heard what could only be described as a sob from behind him. He turned and his heart clenched at the sight of tears running down her face.

"Maxie?" Alec crossed the room in an instant, passed Logan who was hovering, hand raised, unable to take the final step, and took Max in his arms. He'd kind of expected her to push him off, turn away and pull herself together, but it was a measure of how close to the edge she was that instead, she put her arms around him, clutching on to his t-shirt and burying her face in his chest as she allowed herself, finally, to sob her heart out.

He glanced at Logan and couldn't help feeling a little sorry for the guy, stricken that his presence had been a catalyst for Max to lose it, and unable to do a thing to comfort her.

Alec hated that Max was so upset, hated the fact that his strong, proud friend was brought so low, but he had to admit he was glad that a release had finally been triggered, and honoured that she was letting him be the one to offer solace.

He walked her the couple of steps to their worn out sofa and pulled her down next to him. She pulled her legs up and clung to him, still lost in her grief and fear. She wanted to pull herself together, to be the strong, fearless leader she knew she needed to be, but it was such a release to just let Alec be her safe harbour for a little while. Hell she knew she wasn't fooling him with her tough bitch act anyway.

Ever since the morning after the murders, he'd been solicitous, calm and thoughtful with her. He'd brought her tea, and encouraged her to eat what little she could, insisting she needed her energy. He'd known when she needed a joke, when she needed someone to yell at. She'd been snapping at him for days, and he had responded only enough to keep her from feeling bad, there'd been no heat in his retaliations. She knew he could take it, that he understood she didn't really mean it. She couldn't have done that with Ralph or Joshua. They were both too fragile, too sensitive.

She knew he'd tease her about this, but she also knew that it would be affectionate, and she wouldn't mind. It would ease the tension, stop her feeling embarrassed, and she knew without doubt that he wouldn't share it with a living soul.

God, she was exhausted. The sobs were abating, but she felt wrung out and raw. She focused on the feel of Alec's arm supporting her back, his hand stroking back and forth between her shoulder blades, the other hand stroking her hair. Her head against his chest, she could feel the rise and fall of his breaths, hear the steady thumping of his heart, the rhythm relaxing her, lulling her. For a moment at least, she could believe that this enveloping comfort of his undemanding embrace was her whole world. She felt safer than she could remember feeling for a long time.

He felt her relax in his arms, her breath evening out as she drifted into sleep. Thank god, or whoever, because he didn't think he could've taken much more of her despair without breaking down and sobbing himself. He carefully eased her down so that she could lay comfortably with her head cradled in his lap. He reached back and drew the blanket off the back of the sofa and smoothed it out over her. As he did she shifted a little, curling her hand into his and nestling into him a little more snugly. His heart contracted with something that felt suspiciously like love at her show of trust and affection.

He heard a quiet throat clearing and realised Logan was still there, leaning awkwardly against the desk. Alec held Logan's eyes, seeing the pain there, the disappointment that he couldn't be there for Max like Alec could. Alec felt sorry for the guy, he really did, well, a little bit, maybe, but Max was his priority, and if Logan loved her as much as he said he did, he should feel the same way. Max had needed someone, and Logan should be glad someone had been there. He wasn't going to coddle him.

Logan whispered, "I'm gonna go. Tell Max I..." he tailed off. What could he say? His shoulders slumped, he shook his head and walked to the door, opening it and closing it behind him as quietly as he could.

* * *

It was worse than she'd feared. Alec raised the need for a supply run before she'd worked up the nerve. He was intending to lead it. He only wanted her opinion as to whether he should take Mole, Luke and Fran. It would get them back on the horse, so to speak, but Mole and Luke were highly visible targets. If they were spotted, they would be killed, no question. He didn't want to risk them, but on the other hand he didn't want it to look like they were no longer trusted. What did she think?

She didn't want any of them to go. She didn't want them to starve, but she kept hoping for a miracle. There was no time left. They would finish the last of the rations tomorrow morning and then what? How long would the others accept present hunger as better than possible martyrdom?

"We'll talk to them. Tell them they can volunteer, but we'd prefer they stayed safe here until we can be sure that things have calmed down." Alec nodded, it was better if it was their choice.

The conversation went better than expected. The two transhumans were still raw and subdued by what had happened, but they'd been shown enough support by everyone that they didn't seem to need to prove themselves immediately and they certainly didn't want their conspicuousness to risk anyone else on the mission. They weren't happy, but they'd sit this one out.

Max wanted to go, and she and Alec actually argued about it. Alec was adamant that as the leader, she couldn't be risked. She was adamant that she wasn't going to let anyone do anything she wasn't willing to do herself. They were at stalemate, not shifting each others' position no matter how loudly they raised their voices. They argued in the mess hall, in their office, in Max's apartment, in HQ. It looked like there might be no way to settle it without throwing down, which both were more than willing to do, Alec to protect Max by keeping her out of the line of fire, and Max to protect Alec by having his back.

It was solved in the end by Bugler, who said quietly, and with eyes shining with tears, "I don't want either of you to go. I know we need more food, but what would we do if you both got killed?" Well, no one could resist a little boy and Max knew she had no choice but to back down. Alec was right, she was the leader, and they did need her. Trouble was she needed Alec to help her be the kind of leader she wanted to be.

She made him promise to be careful. If it looked dicey, he was to abort the mission and they were to run for TC. They were not to take any more risks than were necessary and the completion of the mission was less important than their safety.

"Oh, Maxie, it sounds like you care!" Alec joked, trying to shift the earnest look from her face that was starting to freak him out.

"Alec we can't afford to lose anyone on this mission. Morale wouldn't take it." She stayed away from saying her morale wouldn't take it, but she squeezed his forearm hoping that he'd take that message away with him.

"I'll take care of them, Max, I won't let them get hurt."

She growled in annoyance at the way he left himself out of the mix. "You too, Alec, you don't get hurt either."

He grinned, "Hey, I'm all about self-preservation, you know that!" She followed up the arm squeeze with a head slap.

"Moron!"

He slapped a hand to his heart, faking a wounded look.

She wished she could believe him. He had been all about self-preservation once, but how many times had he been hurt now because he'd abandoned self-preservation for friendship with her?

* * *

They needed a lot of stuff, so Alec was taking Fran, Gem, Soda, Nila, Fixit, Zero and Ralph, who had earnestly assigned Bugler as Max's batman in her absence.

With those eight, they had a good mix of stealthy, sneaky, resourceful and frankly, big huge guys in Soda and Nila, who could carry a side of frozen beef without slowing down from a flat out sprint. The plan was to steal a couple of vans on the outside, fill them with as much stuff as they could, then hide them as close to the 5th Street sewer entrance as possible so they could do a couple of trips.

They had a lead from Dix on a warehouse they could break into. Anything valuable in Seattle was protected by security these days, and what was more valuable than food? But they were certain that this place was only secured from human ne'er do wells. Eight transgenics should be able to bypass the electronic system and subdue the handful of guards easily.

Still, Alec wasn't going to get cocky about this. Max was right, it was important for morale that this went smoothly. They had all had their confidence knocked, and they all needed to get back on the horse. He assigned them in pairs; they'd have each other's backs. They had guns, which they hoped they wouldn't need, but you never knew. He'd discussed it with Max, thinking she'd veto the weapons on principle, he knew how much she hated guns.

"I know you won't use them unless you have to." Her voice was firm.

"You're letting us take them?"

"Better to have them and not need them, right?"

"Yeah, but-"

"Don't you want to take them?"

"Max, you hate guns."

"It's your mission Alec, it's what you need to feel confident that matters. And anyway, I'm done being soft with ordinaries. They're messing with us. We just want to be able to eat. I know what we're up against. I know what can happen if we can't defend ourselves."

She realised she was speaking honestly as the words came out. Since they'd talked about the mission, she'd been seeing images in her head of all the people they'd lost. They'd be buying food honestly if they could. They didn't want to hurt anyone. They'd been pushed into this corner. They were being forced by the authorities, by every moron with an ignorant opinion and a placard to take what they needed by stealth or by force.

She just wanted her people safe.

"Well OK, then."

* * *

God, she hoped she'd done the right thing in letting them go. But the fact was she'd had no choice. There were senators making speeches about the transgenic threat, people still in the streets demanding their heads on spikes, and nobody would take her calls. They were under siege and they had nothing to bargain with. She had been told there was no compromise; they were to surrender and accept whatever punishment was deemed appropriate. She had no illusions. This meant death or slavery or becoming lab rats.

Well she'd be damned before she surrendered them all to that fate. It was down to this: Steal what they needed or starve.

Max paced the floor of command the whole time they were gone. She kept seeing Alec, pale and bleeding after that first mission from TC. She saw Mole, Luke and Fran wounded and grief-stricken after the brutal conclusion of their last heist.

After what seemed like forever, she heard the squawk of the radio, and hit the button to speak, "Talk to me!"

"We could use some help in the south tunnel. This stuff's heavy."

She almost cried out in relief at the sound of Alec's voice.

"You're all ok?" Her voice came out higher than she expected, it wasn't exactly standard Manticore mission tone, but hell: they weren't soldiers anymore, at least not enlisted. If she couldn't indulge relief now, when could she?

"Yeah, we're good. We've got treats for all the good boys and girls." She looked around, and the looks on all the faces reflected hers. They'd all been worried out of their minds, they were all smiling now, thanking the god of the test tube that their friends were back safely.

"Good work. Supply detail's on its way. Max Out."

Practically everyone was there to greet the team. It was a boost to know that they'd all eat for the next few days, and that they hadn't lost their touch. Transgenics were still the masters of the sneaky undercover mission.

The supplies were quickly squared away, and Max called Alec to their office for debriefing.

She closed the door behind them and turned to face him, checking him over to make sure he wasn't holding out on her, hiding any injuries to keep from worrying her. She reached out and touched his arm, almost subconsciously, checking he was really there, really safe.

He looked good. Damn, but he looked good. He was relaxed, smiling; a little sweaty and dirty from heaving boxes, but that just added to the charm.

It was a moment longer than it used to be before she remembered she was supposed to squash any thoughts like that. Then she figured, a girl can look, right? No harm in that...

"You OK, Maxie?"

She cleared her throat and focused on not blushing, "Report?"

"Went like clockwork. Bypassed the alarm and took the guards down without a shot fired. Tied them up and left them in a janitor's closet. We filled the van. Got meat, vegetables, fruit. We got a lot of canned goods. As much stuff that'll last as we could cram in there." He paused, eyed her appraisingly for a moment.

"Hey Max, I don't know if you remember, but we used to be good at this stuff. We let them psych us out. Can't do that again."

She smiled a little sadly. "Yeah. Losing those guys... It was..." She sniffed and her smile widened, "You're right. We're badass. We take crap from no one. They won't accept us as equal human beings? So what? We know who we are. We take what we need and we don't apologise."

"Damn straight."

That was the first of several supply runs over the next few nights. Alec was right, they were good at this. That mission at the docks had been bad luck. There were a couple of close calls, but everyone made it back safely, and their stocks were back up to a level that gave everyone a sense of security. They could wait out this siege. They could keep going until they were accepted, and Max still had hope that one of these days they'd be able to open the gates and walk out with their heads high.

It just might take a while.

* * *

Max and Alec were sitting on opposite sides of their desk with their feet up throwing peanuts into each other's open mouths when Logan walked into their office.

"Busy day?" he smirked.

"High level strategic planning," Max returned, sparing him a quick grin before ducking back just in time to catch Alec's next throw.

"What can we do for you, oh valiant defender of truth and justice?" Alec asked around a mouthful of peanuts.

Logan refused to rise to the bait. "I've got something for you guys actually. Contact of mine called me, strictly on the down low. Thinks there are some transgenics in custody in the city. Doesn't know how many yet, but he's looking into it and he's come through for me before. He wants to meet tonight, talk terms. You guys available?"

"He wants to talk terms on hostages?" Alec's voice had turned cold. He was a hustler from way back and had done some pretty questionable things in his time, but these days he was responsible for a city full of transgenics, and he didn't find that stuff amusing anymore. "How about he tells us what he knows or we introduce him to our angry faces."

"Alec, let's talk about this before we go all Rambo on the guy." They had moved their feet off the desk and stood now, both at attention. Max turned to Logan, "Where's he getting this information?"

"He didn't say. It's not his way, but I think it's worth a conversation."

"He give you a number?" Max asked. They didn't have much money, but if there were hostages, they could hustle up more.

"Max, this is all pretty vague." Alec wasn't getting a great feeling about this. He knew how emotional they all got at the thought of transgenics being held in custody. They had no official identity, so they weren't officially in the system either. They could be spirited away with no one knowing or caring and anything could happen to them. Still, an unidentified number of transgenics held by an unidentified enemy at an unidentified location? Sounded a little implausible.

"Can we risk not going?" Max looked at him, it was an honest question. She was CO, but he knew she valued his opinion these days, and if he vetoed a plan, she'd listen to his reasons before she made up her mind. Once she had, he'd support her, whatever his opinion. It was a system that had worked so far. He weighed it up before he spoke again.

"Can we get more information before we go?

"This is always the way we've done it in the past. We meet, decide a sum, he gives me what he has upfront in return for a deposit, and then we settle up when he brings me the full dossier. If I change the system on him now, it could spook him. He could run."

"It's not a great plan, Max. Could be a trap. Everyone knows we'll always go in after one of our own. Loyalty's a strength, but it's also our weakness. Means they can lead us by the nose."

Max nodded and looked back at Logan, "Is there any other way we can get to the facts? Any leads you can get through Matt Sung, or the InformantNet?"

"I don't have anything Max, and we don't have a lot of time. He says he's in town tonight, and if we don't come, he'll be gone tomorrow. What do you want me to tell him?"

"Alec?"

"It could be for real, could be a trap. We can't know. I'll back your play, you know that."

"But you think it's a bad idea."

"I think this guy's not the only source in the city."

"They could move them though. We might not get another chance."

"That's true. Still, we'll be taking a risk for something we don't even know is real."

"I don't think I could live with not checking it out. If there's really transgenics in danger, I can't leave them to their fate. Logan's dealt with this guy before. It's not like he's a stranger."

"You're gonna take the meet."

"I think I have to. I'm not asking anyone else to come."

"Max, you don't ask. I'm there anyway."

* * *

There was a short conversation over whether it would be wise to take more back up, but in the end Max and Alec were going with Logan, and that was all. Logan was concerned that any more back up wouldn't be low profile enough. They had to agree, this was only supposed to be a meet. Mole was in charge of TC until they returned. He wasn't happy about it, didn't like the idea of command since he'd seen the schmoozing involved over the past weeks. He sure didn't want to get involved in any of that touchy-feely crap Max had felt the need for after his heist went bad. He was keen for them to stay safe and hurry on back.

"Aw, Mole, that's touching. It's almost like you care!" Alec teased, taking the extra shotgun Mole handed him. Their ordinance master wasn't having his superiors making him look bad by going in light on weapons.

Ralph wanted to come too. She'd looked up the official duties of a batman, or batwoman, or batperson, whatever. They included bodyguard, and she was nothing if not dedicated to her officer. Max wasn't having it. She wasn't any happier about the meet than Alec was in truth, and she really didn't want him to go either. She didn't want herself to go for that matter, but there was nothing for it. She had worked with Alec in the field lots of times though, and they knew each other's moves, or knew when the other was likely to do something spontaneous. She definitely wasn't going to put a teenager at risk.

* * *

Of course it was a trap. The second they entered the building they were surrounded, covered from an elevated position by heavily armed guards. What they weren't ready for was that there were transgenics among the guards that broke cover on the ground floor.

Max turned to Alec, ready to give him a "My bad" shrug, and her heart sank at the expression on his face. His gaze was fixed on one of the men above them, a middle aged man in a suit. He was expensively dressed, with gelled hair that looked as though a hurricane wouldn't move it. He was medium height, slightly paunchy. Entirely unremarkable. He was smiling at Alec, and Alec was white with shock.

Max touched his arm gently, to get his attention. "Alec, what is it?"

His voice was a whisper, and it frightened the living hell out of her, "Manticore. Psy-ops."

She followed his gaze again, then took in the guards surrounding them. Didn't seem any way out.

"What do you think? Fight for the hell of it or surrender and hope for the best?"

He looked back to her and smiled, a little sadly. Overwhelming odds, they were going down, that was for sure. Whenever she asked his opinion she always put what she wanted to do first. Of course she wanted to fight. "Let's give them a good show."

* * *

Logan knew Max well enough to know that she wouldn't blame him for the ambush, but he wasn't expecting any fellow feeling from Alec right now. He wasn't included in the decision to fight, but he wasn't going to back down either. He'd got them into this and he wasn't going to bargain for himself. He had his exo-skeleton, so, given the odds, he had as much chance as they did really.

They put up a good fight. They were outnumbered and outgunned, but they did some damage before they were huddled into a tight group, surrounded by guards.

There were nine men down, it would have been more, but a few of them were X-5s, and some of the guards from the upper floor had had to join the fray to keep them from getting the upper hand.

All three of them were battered, bleeding and exhausted and they'd lost all but one of the guns.

They were done.

**Continues soon. Please review! **

8


	4. No fun at all

**Disclaimer: Sadly no money is being made from the writing of this story. Actually it's being spent on electricity and copious cups of tea. I don't own Dark Angel or any of the characters, recognisable places or scenarios. I wish I owned Alec though. He's delicious.**

**A/N: Thank you to everyone who's been reading, alerting, favourite-ing (if that's a word!) and reviewing this story. I'm really enjoying writing it, but it's especially nice to know that there are people out there actually waiting to read what happens next!**

**This has turned into a difficult chapter to write. It actually contains the central idea that got me started writing this story, but it needed working backwards and forwards into a larger tale and then it needed a lot more detail included as a result. I'm still not sure it's right, but I've fiddled about with it for long enough. **

**Things get pretty angsty from here on out. There is some violence, though I'm trying not to be too graphic.**

**To recap: Max, Alec and Logan went to meet a contact of Logan's who apparently had some info about transgenics taken captive. It turned out to be a trap and now our intrepid heroes are surrounded... **

**Chapter Four**

"Looks like a standoff." Alec observed.

The man in the suit snorted, "Really? Because it looks to me as though we have all the weapons."

"All but one," Alec waved his handgun ostentatiously as though to remind him, "And I'm pretty fast. I could take you and maybe a couple of your evil henchmen before you could take all three of us. You didn't come in shooting, so I'm pretty sure you were looking to take us alive. So... I've got a compromise for you."

"A compromise? You don't know what I want."

Alec snorted, "You guys always want the same thing. Manticore might be gone now, but you people are all still out there, making your nasty little plans, wanting to experiment on us, or get us to work for you, or just kill us. Look, you can try and take all three of us, but I think you know it won't work. We'll kill you, and your minions there have no use for us without you. Or you'll have to kill all of us, and your uber-villain plan's up in smoke. So, here's the deal. You let them go. I'll go with you. I won't struggle."

"Alec, no!" Max couldn't believe what she was hearing. If this was a sneaky gambit to get them all out of there she was drawing a blank as to what the plan was. But Alec couldn't really be planning to give himself up. It was completely out of character.

"You expect me to believe that, 494?"

"Not really, but it's true. Let them go, stop calling me 494 and...I'm not saying I'll go along with your nefarious plans without a fight, but I'll go with you right now. Come on...I remember how much fun you had when they let you loose on me last time."

"Ok, _Alec_," The man smirked as he emphasised the pronunciation of the name, "I think we have a deal." He nodded to the men surrounding them and Max and Logan were herded away from Alec.

Max tried to catch his eye, and when he finally looked at her, Alec just smiled. No signal, no wink, no silent communication of what he was hoping she'd do once they were separated and Alec taken away.

The man in the suit signalled to one of the men still holding guns on Alec, who set down his rifle, drew another weapon and fired in one smooth motion. A tranquiliser dart buried itself in Alec's neck and he looked up at the leader in anger. The man shrugged and smiled and it was anything but warm, "I'm not going back on our deal. Just making sure you don't."

The man with the tranquiliser gun fired twice more and Max and Logan both felt darts hit them too. Alec turned again towards Max, "See ya, Maxie." The tension left his muscles and he dropped to the ground and lay still. A second later she saw Logan go down and then she was falling too.

###

Max woke to darkness and quiet. She jumped to her feet, totally unsettled by the idea of having lain there vulnerable and unprotected for who knew how long. She looked around and there was no sign of the men who'd ambushed them. No sign that Alec had been there either. They could be anywhere. Alec had known the suit guy, but there'd been no hint as to who he was, other than ex-Manticore, ex-Psy-ops. Alec hadn't used the man's name, and she knew that was deliberate – if he had the man wouldn't have let them go.

Logan was still sleeping and she knelt by him, shaking his arm through his jacket. He didn't respond, his purely human DNA much slower to metabolise the sedative.

She couldn't believe that Alec had bargained his freedom for her and Logan. This was the guy who was willing to do anything to keep his freedom. She remembered the lengths he'd gone to in the past. He was on the side of the angels now, but he could still be pretty slippery and sometimes his flippant attitude to the difficulties transgenics faced every day drove her nuts. Why would he do this? He must have known they wouldn't just let Max follow them, that it wouldn't be a straight forward rescue.

He'd been so adamant about her not going on those supply heists. He'd said TC needed its leader. They'd argued about that. She figured that must be it. He had done it for all of them, not just for her. She had to admit that the flippancy had been far less evident lately, well, really since the siege started. And when had he last been slippery with her? She'd barely been annoyed with him for weeks now. In fact he'd been nothing but supportive and thoughtful and Oh god, it was her fault he was even in this mess. He'd come to back her up. He hadn't liked the plan and he'd only come because he wanted to keep her safe.

Well what a dope! He was an idiot for following her. He was an idiot for not arguing harder against coming to this place, following this cockamamie plan. He was an idiot for caring about her... He cared about her. Her mouth dropped open. That guy was Psy-ops. Alec had given himself up to Psy-ops for her.

Impatient to get working on finding Alec and getting his sorry ass out of this mess, she shook Logan again, calling his name. Finally he started to move and she drew back so that he wouldn't touch her bare skin while disorientated.

"What the hell?" His speech was slurred and his movements were still sluggish, and Max fought with irritation at his inability to shake it off. "Come on Logan, we need to get out of here. We've gotta find Alec. Come on!" Logan blinked deliberately and pulled himself up into a sitting position.

###

They went over the building with a fine tooth comb, but it was totally clean. There was no clue as to where they'd take Alec, even which direction they'd taken. The bad guys had even hosed the floor of blood before leaving.

"Max, we should go. There's nothing to find here."

Logan was right. They had nothing. Nothing but the picture in her head of the man in the suit.

Alec was gone.

There was nothing for it: she was going to have to return to TC without Alec. She was going to have to tell them all that he was in enemy hands. That until they could get him out he was going to be the prisoner of a man who had already tortured him back in Manticore. Who was going to torture him again.

###

By the time they reached TC she was frantic. She had no clues, and no idea where to start. Right about now she could really have used Alec to bounce some ideas around with. Logan had got them into this with his bad intel and right now, she couldn't look at him, hadn't spoken to him since they'd left the warehouse.

She knew it was a terrible thing to think but for one shameful moment she had actually wished Logan had been the one taken. She knew it hadn't been Logan's fault, not really, but in that split second, she felt a truth she hadn't fully acknowledged before. She wasn't sure when it had happened, but she knew that in a crisis Alec was now the first person she wanted to turn to.

The idea of telling the others filled her with dread. She knew they would be devastated and would look to her to fix this, to lead the charge to find Alec and bring him home safe.

She'd have to tell them who had taken Alec and she knew the thought of one of their own back in the hands of Psy-ops would be crushing. Hell, it was crushing her. She knew firsthand what they could do and she couldn't bear to think of Alec going through that again.

Especially when it was her fault, the thought crept in. She couldn't prevent the self-recrimination. She had known the danger of the intel being bait to a trap, but she'd taken the decision to risk it against her own and Alec's concerns. Mole too had been against her going, again the idea had been voiced that the leader shouldn't be risked, but she'd insisted because Logan's contact had insisted on seeing the big cheese. And look what happened.

She was responsible. She should never have let Alec give himself up. She should be the one taken captive. Alec should be out here planning her rescue. He'd done it because he thought he was more expendable, but that wasn't true. Her eyes filled with tears. She didn't want to lead without her trusty sidekick, her friend.

Whatever reservations she'd held about his commitment to TC and to her, they were gone now. Old Alec would never have gone willingly. This new Alec? The sacrifice he'd made was almost beyond comprehension. It wasn't just that he'd risked his life for her. It wasn't even that he'd sacrificed his freedom. It was that he'd known without doubt that he was giving himself up to suffer the most brutal, cruel and merciless torture imaginable. They were going to take him apart, physically, mentally and emotionally. They wouldn't stop until he was utterly broken.

An uncontrollable wave of misery and hopelessness broke over her, almost dropping her to her knees. Only the knowledge that every second counted kept her moving through the sewer, but she couldn't prevent the sob from escaping.

"Max, are you hurt?" she couldn't trust her voice to answer. Logan carefully placed a hand on the sleeve of her jacket.

"Max, are you OK?" She forced herself to look at him.

"Oh God! What have I done?"

"This wasn't your fault." He couldn't quite bring himself to take the blame on himself. He'd been acting on good faith after all. He was shocked by the depth of her anguish, for Alec? He felt a stab of jealousy and pushed it down immediately. That was unworthy and it wasn't the time.

"Logan, I let them take him. And now... I have to get him out of there. I've got to find him, now."

"We'll get him out. Don't worry, Alec'll be fine."

"Don't worry? That guy was Psy-ops, Logan!"

"Alec didn't seem all that worried."

"Are you kidding me? Do you have any idea what they'll do to him?"

"He's tough. He wouldn't have gone with them if-"

"No Logan. He went with them so they'd let us go. So we wouldn't all have to go through it. He did that for me. They're going to torture him."

Logan didn't want to contradict her and start an argument. Max was understandably upset, but there was just no way that Alec, of all people, would sign up for anything that bad. He'd obviously just thought that a couple of them left behind to mount a rescue maximised the chances of survival over all three of them having to escape.

###

Logan began to revise his opinion when they got back to TC and Max announced to the transgenics what had happened.

There was a collective gasp. He looked around at wide eyes, open mouths and white faces. Joshua covered his mouth, fighting back tears.

"We're getting him back." Max asserted. No room for argument. No room for failure. They would not leave Alec behind with those animals.

"He could be anywhere, Max." Mole's tone was typically brusque, but his follow up question, "Where do we start?" spoke volumes.

"It's not much to go on, but I saw the guy. Maybe some of you know him from before. If we can start narrowing down identity, we can figure out what he's into now and where he might be holing up. I need hacks into the hover drones, the street cams and all the chatter: sector cops, military, anything we can track. We need to be putting out discreet feelers. Any contacts. Any contacts of contacts. Anyone who might know anything about anything. Any other suggestions, I'm all ears. We'll pay bribes, do favours, kick down doors, hand out smack-downs. I don't care what it takes. We're getting him back."

Max wasn't kidding. She set them to work; anyone not doing something vital was reassigned. Getting Alec back was mission priority one.

Max didn't say anything about blame to Logan, but it was clear she expected him to apply the same focus. Eyes Only, any other projects were now on the backburner. He wasn't going to baulk. Even if Max didn't blame him, everyone knew where the intel had come from and it would be very difficult for him to spend time in TC, to be near Max unless he made amends.

###

Alec woke suddenly to pain and blinding light. He tried to look away, to see behind the light but the beam was too wide. He closed his eyes. His wrists and ankles were restrained and he couldn't lift or even turn his head. He was lying on something hard.

The pain that had woken him was repeated, a brutal blow across his ribs with something that felt like a bat. It forced the air out of his lungs and he coughed, gasping for breath. The next blow was across his abdomen. He was so tightly restrained he couldn't recoil.

He tried to concentrate on his surroundings, pick up some clues as to what he was up against. He could see the brightness of the light through his eyelids. He could hear someone moving but there were definitely at least two people nearby; he could hear their breathing and could smell two different deodorant scents.

The only warning he had of the next blow was the movement of the bat through the air. He tried to prepare for it, to brace himself, but it hit his abdomen in the same place as the last and could only be described as agonising. He bit back a cry, damned if he'd give them a reaction.

It took a moment to remember what the hell was going on, but when he did, it focused his mind instantly on the only question that mattered: Had Max got away safe?

They beat him until his whole body felt broken and he was barely clinging to consciousness.

Then it started to get really bad.

###

Of course the first lead they followed up, Logan's informant, was in the wind. Logan was getting nowhere with his contacts. Max's people were looking into who might have the resources to have amassed the unit they'd faced, and how they had moved to and from the warehouse.

There had to be a trail.

They looked everywhere. They looked at days' worth of surveillance videos but serious wheels must have been greased, because there was no coverage of the roads for more than a square kilometre around the warehouse and long gaps in the recordings in various areas of the city to cover the trail and to prevent them from knowing which missing recording was significant.

They pored over the transcripts of chatter picked up from hacked frequencies, but nobody was talking about Alec. Bribes came to nothing; nobody begrudged the money but it was worrying because their funds were far from unlimited.

Every transgenic in TC was questioned in precise detail about who they'd had contact with in Psy-ops, and who they'd had contact with since Manticore had fallen. A very high proportion of her people had come to know the man in the suit under circumstances that had them subdued, unable to maintain eye contact, twitchy, and occasionally tearful as they recounted them.

Max was building a picture of the man; little by little more detail was added to that brief sketch in the warehouse. It wasn't a picture she liked. The stories she'd heard showed that he was particularly feared, particularly brutal. He enjoyed his work. Hadn't Alec said as much to him? He remembered how much fun the man had when he'd been let loose on him the last time.

They had identified seven aliases for the man, so far.

He was known variously as Doctor Carlton, Doctor Dobson, Commander Ventress, Mr Davidson, Mr Johnson, Redman, and McCoughlan.

It seemed Manticore had used fake names for their operatives to keep them secure. She realised the names of their captors were no more meaningful than the numbers she and her transgenic family had been assigned. What was a name really? Was it any different from a number in the end? Was it just a code to identify an object?

She'd come to see the man in the suit like some kind of ghost or demon from the movies. If you could learn his real name, maybe then you had power over him.

What she couldn't get her head around was the fact that he had transgenics working for him. Did he have something over them or did they actually want to be there? She kept thinking back to the fight in the warehouse, and the transgenics who'd helped the ordinaries to subdue them. The more she thought about it, the angrier she became. How could they turn on their own? How could they be part of a mission to capture one of their own?

###

Mid afternoon of the second day Max walked into her office to find Logan asleep on his laptop keyboard. She had to resist the almost overwhelming urge to yell at him for falling asleep on the job. She was still working; why couldn't he? None of the others had taken a break either. They'd kept up the hacks, the analysis, the running down of information.

She'd called Sketchy in the vain hope that he might come across some clue in the course of one of his investigations for the paper. OC knew all sorts of people, so she was on the case too. Even Asha had the S1W on the lookout.

Max was wracking her brain for any other ideas, any clues she might not have noticed as such during the ambush. But she had nothing. When she'd spouted out the plan to the group she hadn't known what she was going to say until she'd opened her mouth, and if she opened it again, she was pretty sure only air would come out.

###

It was late in the evening on the third day when Joshua came to her.

"Little Fella?"

The hesitation in his voice showed he was not coming to her with news. She huffed impatiently. She didn't have time for anything unrelated to the search.

"What is it Joshua?"

"Max needs to rest."

"Josh, I can rest when I get Alec back."

"No. Little Fella too tired to think. Hurt too."

"I'm fine."

"Not fine. Scared. Feeling guilty. Missing Alec. Little Fella, Joshua feels same. But TC tired. Won't stop until leader does. But what if we miss important clue because too tired to see significance? Too desperate to understand clearly?"

Max didn't want to hear the truth in what Joshua was saying. She'd had little patience with Logan's weakness and she had none at all with her own. Standing still though, talking to Joshua, she was suddenly aware of her head swimming with exhaustion and the soreness of the bruises and cuts she'd taken in the fight. She'd been pushing the pain down but she knew she'd broken a rib. She'd set two broken fingers back into position almost without thinking while she and Logan had scoured the warehouse and they were still pretty sore and swollen too.

She hated the thought of stopping, even for a moment. Knew what could be happening to Alec as she allowed seconds to tick by without making progress or taking action.

Joshua was right though. She was running on fumes and so were the others.

If they hadn't found Alec by now, they had to look at this differently, dig in for a longer campaign. She bit back the tears threatening to escape and led Joshua out into the command centre.

"Guys! Lights out in ten. Be back in six hours. Bring your A game."

Everyone paused for a moment, considering. Max looked terrible, not even because of the black eye and split lip that weren't quite healed after three days. She was obviously exhausted and strung out with worry. They all were. She wasn't giving up though; her posture, her expression and tone all demonstrated determination, even defiance. This was not defeat. There were nods of reluctant agreement and then movement towards the door and a few moments later command was deserted and silent.

Max and Joshua walked slowly back towards their apartments, separating without a word at Joshua's door.

###

Max stood in her bedroom, still resisting the idea of rest, trying to fight the heaviness of her limbs, the burning of her eyes. Try as she might to see sense, in her heart she could see this as nothing less than failing Alec.

She sighed and lay down on the bed. If she was going to force this break, she'd better at least use it sensibly.

In spite of her exhaustion sleep wouldn't come. She lay, unable to relax, trying not to let her imagination wander towards what Alec might be going through at that moment. Trying not to feel how TC seemed to grow to enormous proportions at the thought of leading her chaotic transgenic community without Alec's support.

She'd prayed once before, when she'd thought Logan was dying. They'd thought it was the virus. She'd prayed and it had turned out to be chicken pox. In that moment of relief, she hadn't been sure that her prayer hadn't been answered, a miracle transforming her freak virus to something ordinary and treatable.

Since then that inchoate faith had taken some severe hits. If ever there was a time to take that leap of faith it was now. If anyone deserved her prayers it was Alec, who'd offered everything he had to protect her. But she couldn't do it. The losses they'd suffered, their continuing captivity, the very fact that Alec was gone because they'd taken a chance to save others. How could that happen? How could it be allowed to happen?

She couldn't pray. She couldn't find the faith to trust her friend to some higher power who had never lifted a finger to protect them. But she wished with all her heart that Alec would know with certainty that they would come for him, she would come for him, and that it would give him the strength to endure.

She sent her thoughts, her heart to him with all of the energy she could muster. She couldn't have faith in a god, but she realised she had faith in Alec. Faith in his resilience, in his stubbornness and in his pain in the ass smart aleck nature. He would hold on until she found him. She held to that and allowed images that had been crowding the edges of her mind's eye to take hold.

She could see him, that cocky, shit-eating grin when he'd done something outrageous that he knew would annoy her. That smile was infectious. She could never hold onto her annoyance. She saw him carefree and irresponsible, then haunted and grief-stricken and she knew the selfish, amused Alec was a disguise he wore to try to protect himself from emotions that threatened to overwhelm.

The images came thick and fast: Alec scared for his life but unable to deliver the killing blow to her that might save him. Alec in Joshua's basement, playing the piano like a professional concert pianist, in an instant switching to lethal killing machine, a hand around Joshua's throat, caught up in memories of failure and despair for a situation she knew had been beyond his control. Alec with his arm around her, kissing the top of her head in comfort and solidarity as she cried over her brother, his psycho clone who had caused him so much suffering.

The real Alec was the one who had always backed her up without question. The guy sitting slumped in grief, emotion for once exposed and vulnerable to her so she'd understand him and by that, understand all of them, what they'd been when they were soldiers, reminding her that the dead had been heroes, worthy of respect; that they all were. The guy standing in front of her dirty but triumphant, reminding her of who they were and how strong they were, how determined.

Then the images changed. She saw him lying in a bare concrete cell, bruised and bleeding. Saw him strapped down, laser burning into his eye. Saw his body convulsing, back arched from taser shocks. Saw him surrounded by shadowy figures, defiant under cruel blows from fists and boots and sharp, ugly weapons. She heard him scream and she shot bolt upright, heart pounding, drenched in sweat and realised that she was screaming too.

###

They hadn't even questioned him yet. He figured they wanted to break him down first, knew he wouldn't just give up information because they asked for it. He was in pretty bad shape already, he had to admit. That first beating had broken a couple of ribs and really screwed up his right knee. That was going to make escaping pretty difficult.

Then they'd thrown him in a big, cold, metal-walled cell and left him for who knew how long. Had to have been just below freezing in there, just like the endurance training he'd hated so much as a kid.

And no windows, no light, no sound.

Time deprivation was one of the most effective weapons in the torturer's arsenal. People always got freaked out, thinking it was forever when in reality it had only been five minutes. He'd been counting but that could never be really accurate. He'd counted twenty seven hours, but it could have been a few hours either way.

Then they'd dragged him out of the cell and strapped him back down and he'd spent some quality time with his eyes taped open under the laser. He'd tried to count that too, but he'd been so overwhelmed that he'd lost count after four hours and five minutes, and it had gone on for a good long while after that. In fact he wasn't sure he remembered it stopping, just knew he'd come back to awareness and the laser was gone and he was back in the cold, dark room, this time hanging by his wrists from the ceiling. His toes just touched the ground, but he couldn't get enough purchase to take the strain off his arms. From the numbness in his hands and the pain in his wrist, elbow and shoulder joints, he'd been there for a while.

If he'd been asked to describe what that laser felt like, he'd have said it was impossible. The swirl of images and the excruciating pain left a person confused, disorientated, and desperate, but too exhausted and weak to move. But none of those words really got to the reality of it.

He knew the images they beamed straight into his mind and that moved so fast that he couldn't attend to them properly would be working away inside his head, repeating with the subliminal words, trying to make him believe what they wanted him to believe, breaking down what he cared about, turning him against everyone he'd chosen to love. He used the dark to concentrate on those images, playing them back slowly, deconstructing the message so he could fight it.

On the upside, using the laser before they questioned him, they'd given him an idea of what it was they wanted from him. Obviously they wanted information on TC, but it was more than that; some of the images they were showing him were targets, others were desirables. It looked like they wanted to break TC's leadership and they believed if they did so, the others would just look for another leader. They believed that the majority of its citizens would happily return to the Manticore fold. They were trying to rebuild Manticore and they clearly believed that they would be able to make Alec help them with that.

On the downside, he needed to be realistic; it was possible that once they actually started questioning him, his brain would be so fried he wouldn't know what the hell he was saying.

He counted fourteen hours before they took him back to the laser and another four and a half hours before he lost track again.

###

Every time a new transgenic had arrived they'd got the grilling. Did they know the man in the suit? Had they ever been approached by someone looking to restart Manticore? Did they know any transgenics who had been approached by such a person? Had they heard anything about anything that could vaguely be considered somewhat related to Alec's disappearance?

Lots of them said yes to the first question, and boy was that not reassuring, but it was a big soul-sucking black hole of a zero to all the other questions.

###

Man he was thirsty, and hungry.

Some time around the fourth day, he'd got so dehydrated they'd strapped him to that torture chair with an IV in his arm. He felt marginally less crappy for the fluids, but was pretty miserable to find that was how they were going to play it because the dryness in his mouth was almost as insistent a form of discomfort as the strained joints in his arms, though not quite as bad as the laser eye-burn and headache. And the bruises and broken bones. They weren't exactly a dance party.

###

Day six had Max tearing her hair out, almost literally. The leads weren't leading anywhere. They were almost at the dead end of all of them and everyone was looking to her for some sort of guidance, some next steps, some fresh new seam of hope that they'd get Alec back home.

Then Logan showed up. He didn't have any news. He didn't have any new leads. He didn't have any ideas for where to look for new leads. He just wanted to see her and it took all her strength not to bash him over the head with her useless computer that wasn't helping her find Alec either.

"Max, can't you take a break? We could go back to your place and talk. I can cook something for you. It'll do you good. Get your mind off things." He wasn't getting the level of her frustration; that was clear from the frankly moronic suggestion. She tried to retain some composure in her response.

"I can't Logan. I can't think about anything else until he's back here, safe." She was sure that the look he quickly tamped down was petulance and she worked on not killing him with the computer.

"I get that you're worried, but you're going to get sick if you don't take care of yourself. And I miss you. I just want to catch up. An hour won't make any difference."

Her frustration amped to a level she wouldn't have imagined possible a week ago. She took a deep breath. "This is about you, not me. You're feeling lonely, left out? You want my attention on you rather than Alec, who is probably at this exact moment _screaming in pain_.

"You think an hour won't make a difference to him? You wanna catch up?

"That's what's in my head right now. The sound of Alec _screaming_ for my help.

"So, now we're caught up. And unless you've got some brainwave on how to find him, do not suggest I should get my mind off things by letting you cook for me. Do not even talk to me about anything that doesn't relate to finding my best friend who is being _tortured_ because he made it so you and I _aren't_ being tortured."

Logan finally got the message, he wasn't going to win today but he felt Max was being a little unfair. It wasn't like he didn't understand that Alec could be in a bad place right now. He knew he and Max had been lucky to get away. He thought maybe she was being a _little_ melodramatic. In fact, he was secretly wondering if Alec hadn't spilled everything the second he'd been asked and was now sipping mojitos in Buenos Aires while everyone in TC ran around after him like he was some big damn hero, not considering for a second that they should be preparing for the fall out of whatever intel Alec had betrayed to buy his freedom.

Still, that probably wasn't what Max wanted to hear right now, and he knew how to be diplomatic.

"I can see this was a bad idea. I didn't mean to upset you. I'll get out of your hair now. Call me if you need me."

Max nodded tightly, watching as he left the room and closed the door quietly as though not to provoke her. She listened until she could no longer hear the whirring of the exoskeleton and then indulged a brief, but loud growl of frustration.

It was significant, she felt, that Logan hadn't actually apologised. She suspected that he really wasn't taking Alec's situation seriously anymore. She'd begun to suspect that he was telling himself Alec had betrayed them, but was too polite to say anything. If she found out he wasn't chasing leads because of it, she'd... she wasn't sure what she'd do, but she knew for damn certain Logan would not enjoy it.

As Logan crossed the open ground on his way to the gate it hit him, exactly what she'd said. Her best friend. She'd said Alec was her best friend. When the hell had that happened? Jealousy twisted in his gut. He'd thought he was her best friend. Maybe he'd have accepted her saying Cindy was. At a stretch even Joshua, these days.

After everything he'd done, Alec of all people was not worthy of that honour. And Max was pissed with _him_. Did she care more about Alec than she did about him? Did she love Alec? Had she stopped loving him?

This visit had backfired worse than he could have imagined. He knew things were rocky between them. It had been so difficult to maintain any regular contact since this whole siege had started, but to be usurped by an amoral shark like Alec?

Clinging to the shreds of his dignity, he stalked out of the compound and headed for home where he could lick his wounds, think about things and plan how to get back into Max's good books.

As Max turned back to sit down at her computer she realised what she'd just said to Logan. She'd called Alec her best friend. She'd never used that phrase to describe Alec before, but it had just come out and now she was wondering if that was true. Had he taken that central a role in her life? Was she closer now to him than to all of her other friends? Logan, Cindy, Joshua? Yes, she probably was.

She wasn't just worried about Alec, she missed him desperately. There were so many things she wanted to talk to him about, not just as her Deputy but as a friend who would empathise, take her side and laugh or commiserate with her. Without him here, she couldn't see the humour or the hope in anything. Everything seemed dark around her, grey and overwhelming. She wanted his snarky comments, his irreverent take on things. She wanted his hand casually touching her arm, her back. She wanted so desperately to see him smile.

Was that a best friend? If she really thought about it, really examined it honestly, she thought no, that wasn't a best friend. He was more than that. A partner, a confidant. He was everything Logan used to be to her, and actually a lot more. She didn't just want his hand casually touching her arm, she wanted his arms around her like that day when she'd cried in his arms, and fallen asleep in his lap. She didn't just want to see him smile. She wanted to see him smile for her. She didn't just want his kiss on the top of her head, she wanted his kiss...

He was her best friend, yes, but she wanted more than that from him. Having him taken away from her forced her to face the truth. She loved him.

###

This time, Alec could feel the presence of someone in the freezing cell with him, but there was no light, not even a sliver under the door that would have allowed his enhanced transgenic vision to get an idea of who was there.

It really couldn't be good that they hadn't questioned him yet. They really weren't worried at all that he'd escape first or be rescued.

He trained his hearing on the other person's breathing and monitored the scent, getting a bead on location. At the moment they were staying still and had to be about 6 feet away from him. Too far for him to kick out at them.

It was hard to think about anything other than the pain and the thirst and the hunger and the cold and the other person and what might happen next. And waiting for something to happen, that was the worst.

He knew that he had to get his mind off all that, off the here and now, otherwise he'd go nuts. He might break before Max got him out of there. He had to believe that Max was free, and he had to believe that she'd find him. He had to hold to hope, it was the only way to stay strong.

He forced his mind away from the room, back to TC. He pictured all of them working away in command, their own little corner of the world, their ramshackle, run down, toxic home. His comrades, working to build a community, a family.

He pictured Max. This was all for her.

He'd known right from the start that he should have run as far and as fast as he could from her, but something had kept him close by and it had taken him a good long while before he'd understood what that was.

He remembered saying to Logan once that the reason guys did stuff for Max was because she was hot. Well, that was true to a certain extent, but there were lots of hot women out there and he was pretty sure he wouldn't have turned himself over to that animal Dobson and his Manticore buddies for any of them.

The pain in his arms and the thirst were pulling hard on his attention, and he needed something more than Max's hotness to keep his mind off all that.

In the past he'd just told Psy-ops what they wanted to hear. He'd had nothing to lose, even after Rachel. She was gone, and there was nothing he could do about it; he'd had nothing to protect except himself, his sense of self. So he'd shut off his emotions and just did what he had to in order to survive.

He couldn't do that this time. The torture was only going to get worse and at some point the interrogation would start and this time he had everything to lose, everything he'd worked to build, everything and everyone he'd come to care about.

More importantly, they had everything to lose. Max had everything to lose. He needed a strategy. He had to be ready.

He needed something to hold onto, and it had to come from his best self, the part of him that kept going back to Max, the part that wanted her to be proud of him.

Most of his physical contact with Max in the early days had been her kicking him across rooms, smacking him in the head, punching him in the arm.

Those were fun memories, but they weren't going to cut it.

If he was going to make it through this without destroying everything he believed in and betraying everyone he cared for he needed to pull out the big guns.

He needed to open himself up to those half acknowledged thoughts and feelings he'd been having when Max had looked at him with something other than anger or disappointment.

When she'd looked at him with surprise or gratitude or humour, and once in a while, with affection. When she'd smiled at him.

When she'd put her arms around him and kissed him on the cheek, and then smoothed his blanket and tucked him in because he'd brought her slippers back to TC. When she'd let herself cry, and then fall asleep in his arms. That one had been featuring pretty heavily in the fantasies he'd been trying to suppress lately. He let it hit him full force, how he'd felt, how protective of her, how grateful she saw something in him that she could trust enough to show her vulnerability, how he'd wanted to never let her go.

Even the morning of the ambush, sitting in their office, just hanging out and throwing peanuts. That had to have been the happiest he'd ever been. He had been sure of his place, sure of her acceptance of him. They'd been comfortable together, everyone was well and happy and she was relaxed and having fun with him.

His heart swelled at that memory.

She wasn't just some hot woman who always got her own way. Max was awesome. She was his leader, his best friend, his family, the best person he knew. He loved her.

He could do this. He could take the pain. There was almost nothing he wouldn't do to get a drink. That was the key word though, almost. Max was the almost. He could hold out, as long as it took. He wasn't going to betray Max for anything. He'd die first.

Then the other person in the room moved and the beating started. By the time it was done he was surprised not to be dead.

###

Eight days after Alec had been taken Mole entered her office with practically a whole unit guarding a young woman. They were grim faced and held tasers and guns as though itching to drop her.

"Mole?"

"Psy-ops. Telecoercive. Says she wants in." Mole's voice dripped scepticism and tension.

The young woman looked as though she was about to speak, but Mole silenced her with a primed taser jammed under her chin. The telecoercive kept her gaze lowered, knowing that any eye contact would be viewed as an act of aggression, an attempt to use her power.

"What's your name?" Max asked, not friendliness, but wariness in her tone.

"Psy-734."

"Not your designation. What's your name?"

The woman paused, "I've been going by Callie."

"That's what you chose?"

"I uh, I guess."

Max couldn't help herself; telecoercive or not, everyone deserved a real identity, "'Cause you can take any name you want."

"Callie's fine. I'm Callie."

"You're a telecoercive?"

"Yes, Ma'am."

"It's Max."

"Yes, Max."

"But you want to come here?"

"Yes."

"You might have noticed a certain amount of hostility to telecoercives here. Maybe it's even directed at you personally, I don't know your history. Not to mention Terminal City is not exactly prime real estate. You of all people could live wherever you want. Why would you want to be here?"

"I watch the news. I've seen what's going on in the world. I'm transgenic. I want to be part of the fight. I want us all to be free. I think I can be useful."

"You think we want to manipulate our way to acceptance?"

"No. That's not real acceptance. I haven't used that except in self-defence since you busted us all out of Manticore. I don't want to help like that. I want to _really_ help. I'm a paramedic now. I'm training to be a trauma doctor."

"You expect us to believe that?" Mole voiced the question on everyone's mind.

"Not really. I know you have no reason to trust me. I know that back in Manticore they made me and the others like me into your enemies. But it doesn't have to be like that anymore. I followed orders and I know that doesn't sound like nearly enough of an excuse, but I lived with the same threat you all did. If I wasn't following orders I wasn't necessary. If I wasn't necessary I was dead. That's over now and I just want a chance to prove myself."

Max was just as sceptical as Mole, but she was seeing some possibilities. She'd meant what she'd said about the mind-control. It would only be counter-productive if they used it against ordinaries. If Callie was telling the truth though, she could be really useful.

Max lived under constant fear of the army losing patience and launching an attack. Or the sector cops. And White. She still second-guessed her decision to stop Joshua from killing him that day at Jam Pony. He was still out there somewhere. And in spite of the regularly replenished supplies of condoms, there were a number of women in the compound starting to "glow" and look a little plumper around the middle.

Under the circumstances they really couldn't have enough trained medics.

And then there was the knowledge she could have. Callie was Psy-ops. Maybe she knew the man in the suit. Maybe she could be the lead they'd been searching for. Of course she could be playing them. She could have her own agenda, her own priorities. She could have power over them and they wouldn't even know it. Max had been burned before and she hated the idea of making the wrong decision again.

She'd run it by Alec, he had a good feel for peoples' intentions. For a second the thought stood firm and then she remembered and the fresh realisation that he was gone almost brought her to her knees.

###

Max debriefed Callie minutely for two hours. She still wasn't sure about her, but the new arrival appeared to be totally candid. She didn't sugar coat her history and she provided detailed intel about Psy-ops procedures that Max both hoped would be helpful and wished she didn't know.

More importantly they now had a real name: Robert Corrigan.

Manticore had been sure of Callie's loyalty. Only her previous exemplary conduct had saved her from a memory wipe or worse when she had once been privy to a case file where someone had been sloppy; a few things that would usually have been blacked out had remained legible and she had seen the real names of two of the Psy-ops Commanders, one of whom was the man in the suit. She recognised him from the sketch Joshua had drawn from Max's verbal description and the aliases. It was definitely the same guy.

If this lead panned out, Max would be eternally grateful to Callie and the fact that she had a new avenue of investigation was reason enough to give Callie the benefit of the doubt.

###

"So, 494. You've had a taste of my hospitality. How have you enjoyed it so far?"

Alec was strapped to the chair again. The laser was set up in front of him but the beam wasn't on and his eyes weren't taped open. It was there as a constant reminder of what they could do.

He was about to react to the use of his Manticore designation – that had been part of the deal after all, that he was to be called Alec – when he realised. It was always his mouth that got him into trouble. It was how he'd got his name, Max calling him a smart aleck.

He wasn't going to let Dobson bait him, he wouldn't give glib answers, wouldn't say anything that might let slip something he didn't intend by mistake. His best bet was not to talk at all.

Dobson started easy. How many transgenics were in TC? How many were transhumans, X5s, X6s, X7s, X8s? How were they getting in and out without being caught? What was the exact chain of command?

"You don't feel like playing today? That's OK. We're not playing." Dobson nodded to someone who stepped forward into Alec's peripheral vision. Another face from the past, a face from the last time he'd been strapped down under a laser beam. A telecoercive.

###

He'd never honestly tried to fight telecoercion, not directly anyway. He'd hidden parts of himself away, prevaricated with his responses, told them enough of what they wanted to hear that he'd been able to hold to his core self by never letting them know it was even there to be controlled or broken. Still, this guy, he'd got closest of all of them. Last time he'd met this guy he'd wound up barely able to remember who he was.

This time they knew what they wanted from him, they knew what he would fight. He would have to actually resist a full frontal assault on his mind. He brought his feelings for Max up like a shield in front of him. This was what he was fighting to protect, this was everything he had to lose, but this was also what would save him from the abyss.

Alec braced himself. He wasn't going to talk. He'd promised himself that. He couldn't promise he wouldn't scream.

###

They started afresh, followed every lead again with the real name in the mix. The intel appeared to show that Corrigan had been creating a new Manticore. He had some funding and some tacit support in high places. It was all strictly hush-hush, but it seemed that there was still appetite in Government for the kind of high-end special ops skills that transgenics had provided in the past.

She knew from her experience in that warehouse that he had transgenics in his employ. The question was, were they there by choice or coercion? That would affect how she dealt them _when_, not _if_, she had to go through them to get to Alec.

They'd pieced together Corrigan's recent history, and had some idea of his movements from the destruction of Manticore to eight weeks before Alec was taken. Then he dropped off the grid. They hadn't been able to get any lock on his movements or communications for those weeks leading up to the ambush. And there was nothing since either.

###

He guessed maybe they were annoyed not to have made any progress because they'd dragged him back to the cell and he'd taken another beating while hanging from the ceiling. It had messed with his arms badly, repeated blows to his right side increasing the strain until he'd felt his right shoulder pop out of its socket, shortly followed by a similar popping of his elbow as the bat slammed into his left arm.

Beads of cold sweat had popped out on his forehead and upper lip and he'd felt his abdominal muscles spasm as he'd heaved bile and spat.

Next thing he was aware of he was lying on the floor of the cell and his shoulder and elbow had been shoved crudely back into place.

For the first time he wasn't restrained. He tried to stretch cramped muscles but a million points of pain had him curling back into himself.

He did a quick inventory. Arms were good for very little. Grating ribs hurt like a son of a bitch. His knee was still sore from that first beating, he wasn't really healing. His head was all over the place from the sessions with the laser and the onslaught from the telecoercive. He was weak as a kitten from lack of food and water.

He couldn't ever remember feeling worse and he had no idea of the scale of what he was up against. It certainly wasn't an optimal situation for an escape attempt. Still he had to work with what he had, if only for his own morale, to show he still had fight in him. He didn't hold out a lot of hope that he'd make it out of there, but maybe if he was lucky he might be able to get some intel on layout, numbers, weapons. It was worth a try.

###

He could hear footsteps approaching and knew that it was now or never. Trying to stand almost convinced him not to try anything else. His head span and he had to lean heavily against the wall to stay upright. If the room wasn't dark he was pretty sure he'd be seeing black spots. He braced himself as best he could without the ability to take a deep breath and waited for his moment.

The door opened and he launched himself at the man who entered. It wasn't pretty or graceful, or anything like his trainers would have expected, but there was an "oof" of surprise and the man went down under his weight. Alec drew in his strength and, knowing it would hurt like hell, slammed his injured left elbow into the man's windpipe, following up with a jab to the temple which robbed the man of consciousness while sending a shockwave of agony through Alec's right wrist all the way up to his shoulder. Alec bit down on his lip hard, trying not to cry out in pain, to keep from attracting any attention.

He felt around in the dark, hands quickly finding night vision goggles, a pen, a clipboard and a set of keys. He held his optimism in check; it wouldn't do to get ahead of himself. He put on the goggles and took in his surroundings for the first time. The cell he'd been held in was large, and totally bare. The walls and door were steel and there were no windows. The restraints still hung from the ceiling, the sight of them making him even more nauseated. The cell was almost as oppressive to look at as it had been in the total dark. The door led to an ante-room, also without windows and he realised that was how they'd kept the light out, by closing the outer door before opening the inner one. It meant he couldn't see what was waiting for him on the other side.

The man he'd taken down was wearing a shirt and tie under the white coat of a doctor. Alec quickly swapped the man's clothes for his own, ridiculously glad to be out of the soiled clothes he'd been wearing since he'd been taken.

Adrenaline had kicked in, anaesthetising his injuries a little, and he was grateful for the temporary respite. He dragged the unconscious man into the cell and took everything he could find that could conceivably be of use; the man's watch showed him date and time, revealing he wasn't far off in his estimate; he'd been there almost two weeks. There was a syringe lying on the floor where the man had dropped it and he took that too, it would be satisfying to use one of his captors' weapons against them.

He stood at the outer door, listening but couldn't hear anything outside. He tried the keys in the lock and the second turned easily in the well-oiled mechanism. He gathered his strength and slowly pulled the door open.

The corridor outside was brightly lit and he slipped off the goggles, having to take a minute to adjust. His eyes hurt from the laser and his vision remained blurred, but there wasn't time to waste. He slipped out of the ante-room and locked the door behind him.

There was a choice, left or right, and no obvious reason to favour one direction over the other, so he went left, reasoning that he'd be able to support himself with his left hand against the wall, with his right free to defend himself with the syringe held like a knife.

He made his way along the passage, surprised at how breathless he felt just walking. He was exhausted, and even with the adrenaline coursing through him dulling the pain, it was everything he could do to keep going.

There were doors at regular intervals on each side and he held his breath as he passed each, waiting for one to open, for someone to stop him.

Then his heart was in his mouth as two guards rounded the corner ahead and walked towards him. He kept going, trying to straighten, to walk normally and not draw any attention. They were talking and didn't even look at him and he swallowed nervously, working to keep from looking back as they passed him.

He reached the end of the corridor and slowed, trying to see round the corner, to assess the next steps. As he made the turn, his hope dried up. Standing silently ahead of him were two soldiers, a man and a woman. Two of the transgenics from the warehouse.

For a split second he considered giving himself up, but then the unfairness of it all hit him, the frustration and fear and pain of the last week overwhelmed him and he couldn't stop himself; he launched himself at them in a desperate attempt to get some payback. He jabbed the needle into the man's shoulder and depressed the syringe, then slammed the heel of his left palm into the woman's sternum, sending her sprawling to the floor, a split second before the man crumpled to the ground, unconscious from whatever drug had been meant for Alec.

He went to push forward but the woman had gone into a roll and was back on her feet, blurring towards him. She delivered a swift kick to the side of his head and he didn't have the speed or strength to block it. He crashed into the wall, agony exploding from his ribs at the impact and he slid to the ground, dazed.

Even if he'd had the energy to get back to his feet, there was no point. The guards that had passed him were back, in fighting stance before him, tasers in hand and he realised they'd known who he was all along.

The only satisfaction he could take was the unconscious doctor in the cell and the unconscious soldier in the hall, but he had no more idea of what it would take to escape this hell-hole than he had before. He fought tears of defeat and rested his head against the wall, waiting for the inevitable.

He didn't know if he'd blacked out, but he didn't remember closing his eyes. He felt a hand on his face and opened his eyes to see the blurred figure of Dobson. He turned his head away, but the hand followed, almost gentle in its touch.

"I'm impressed, 494. I wouldn't have thought you'd have the strength for something like this after everything. It was futile though, I'm sure you'll agree." He smiled almost kindly and the sight made Alec's skin crawl.

Keeping his eyes on Alec, he addressed himself to his staff. "Bring him." Then he stood and walked away.

The two human guards approached and Alec would have gone quietly if one of them hadn't given in to the temptation to mess with him. The taller of the two, borrowing strength from the presence of the transgenic woman, crouched and slapped him hard across the face, snapping his head to the side. Alec turned back to look at him, to show defiance, and the man spat right in his face.

Alec took a split second to weigh his options and figuring he had nothing to lose, head-butted the guy as hard as he could. However short-lived the satisfaction at the crunching sound of a breaking nose would prove, it was enough to give him the presence of mind and the hope for future opportunities that when he found himself winded and sprawled on the floor, clinging to consciousness, he was able to work a paperclip free from the clipboard he'd taken from the cell and slip it into his mouth just before the transgenic woman forced a knee into his back and secured his hands behind him with a cable tie.

###

Retribution was swift and brutal. He was dragged into a room he hadn't seen before, and secured to a chair bolted to the middle of the floor. Dobson gave him no warning at all before he pulled out a 9mm and fired straight into his thigh.

###

It took more than three weeks to track Logan's informant to a ratty apartment over a pawn shop in Lawrence, Kansas. The smack-down Max administered with a certain degree of grim satisfaction didn't produce anything useful. The snitch had been taken blindfolded to a derelict dry cleaning shop in sector 2, where a man obscured by shadow had promised him cash or a painful death in return for his cooperation or obstruction respectively. Cash on delivery; his reward had been delivered to a dead drop site. He hadn't seen faces, hadn't heard names.

The only helpful thing he could provide was money. Max took the remainder of the fee he'd received for selling them out to add to the Rescue Alec fund.

###

There was before the escape attempt and there was after. Before had been a cakewalk, Alec realised now. Since his break for freedom had been thwarted Dobson hadn't let up. He was strapped down in the chair all the time now, and he didn't know what exactly was in the drugs they were giving him, but sometimes he couldn't move and every nerve ending felt on fire, every touch was agony. Other times he shook so hard he felt his muscles would dance off his bones. He barely slept, the laser was on him more and more of the time and when it wasn't the telecoercive was there, battering into his mind, trying to break his barriers, trying to force him to surrender.

###

They'd followed every lead. They'd exhausted every avenue of investigation. They had bribed everyone they could find. If they could find anyone else to bribe, they'd have found a way to get the money, but they couldn't find anyone who even claimed to know anything.

Max's fear for Alec was a constant weight in her stomach, but the knowledge of Corrigan's MO was giving horrific specificity to her nightmares. She was losing hope. She had no intention of giving up, but the few leads they'd had they'd run down, and they'd gone nowhere. It wasn't that the trail was cold. There was no trail.

Their last hope had been slim: they had heard about a guy who knew a guy who knew an army staff sergeant who had been the lover of a high up at the original Manticore but had suddenly gone missing around the time Alec had been taken.

Six weeks after Alec's abduction, a grim-faced Luke had come into Max's office to tell her that the guy and the guy he knew had turned up dead and the staff sergeant was MIA.

That was it. Max felt her heart break as that last shred of hope slipped through her fingers. She held it together until Luke backed out of the room, then she dropped onto the couch and gave into her misery, allowing the sobs to wrack her body to exhaustion.

###

When Alec had promised himself he'd last as long as it took, he'd been banking on three weeks, maybe a month tops. Max had an army of highly trained transgenics, and despite how battered the hardware looked the computers had been tuned to state of the art perfection. He even grudgingly factored Logan into the armoury Max had at her disposal for effecting his rescue. Seven weeks (approximately, he couldn't be sure) seemed excessive, and frankly he was feeling a little put out by his continued captivity. Where the hell was his rescue team?

The good news was he was back in the cell and he hadn't been beaten or lasered for a couple of days. The bad news was he knew they were only giving him a break because they didn't want him getting desensitised. The other bad news was that Dobson knew how much he hated the cold, and _that_ he wasn't getting a break from. He tried to look for another piece of good news. The only thing he could think of was that he wasn't really feeling all that hungry today.

Though that could obviously be interpreted as bad news too. It was never a good sign when something seemingly desirable was the opposite of what was actually needed, like having a fever and not sweating. He wasn't sure what the not feeling hungry meant, but he sure didn't think his increasingly visible ribs and jutting hip bones were feeling satisfied by a minimal amount of glucose by IV every couple of days. Still, he'd choose to take it as good news until he had evidence to the contrary.

It was hard to think of TC and not wonder if Max was still looking for him. After all, he was just one person. She had a whole camp to look out for. 435 transgenics and transhumans at his last count. That was a lot of work to keep them all in line.

Then there was the outside world. He had no idea what the situation was with the protesters, or if the army or the sector cops had tried anything. Or if White had picked himself up, dusted himself down and rededicated himself to his Kill All Transgenics mission.

He couldn't count on Max having the time or energy to devote to finding him. He of all people knew how well Manticore could cover his tracks. She'd probably run down the leads and found they led nowhere, then with guilt and a heavy heart – this was Max after all – had moved on to more pressing needs.

He couldn't fault her for that. Just because he loved her, it didn't mean she felt the same way. And his loyalty was not dependent on a return of his feelings. He'd accepted that from the outset, he just needed to realign his expectations. Max wasn't coming for him.

He'd stopped hoping for a chance to get free of his restraints, he was never alone long enough to try, and even if he could pick the locks, he couldn't escape with his leg like this, even if he did have the energy to scratch his nose, let alone stand, fight and run.

This wasn't about holding out for rescue or opportunity; it was about making sure they killed him before they broke him.

###

Gradually life was moving on in Terminal City. They were still listening, still intercepting whatever information they could, but they had no real leads and nowhere new to look. Max had no choice but to let business go back to normal. They had begun a clean-up of the most polluted areas; even transgenics and transhumans were starting to feel a little under the weather from the constant exposure so a few of the chemicals must have been so nasty that even they weren't totally immune. There was no progress on the public relations front so they had to make the best of what they had.

Max watched the activity around her and it was like she was moving in slow motion while they moved rapidly, like ants. She was out of step, she couldn't move on with them, she couldn't stop thinking about Alec, hoping with all her heart that he was still alive, even knowing what damage three months could have wrought. She couldn't bear to give up on the hope of seeing him again. Anything that had happened, everything that had been done to him she could fix if she could just hold him in her arms. She _knew_ that, deep in her soul.

She began every day with equal parts hope and dread. Hope that today was finally the day that they'd hear something, that they'd find him. And dread that today was the day she'd find out he was lost to her forever, that he had died alone and in pain. That thought made it almost impossible for her to get out of bed and go to her office and go through the motions of still being CO. That thought fuelled her nightmares.

She knew the others were still hoping too, but human nature being what it was, the further removed from him they were, the easier it was for them to move on. Only a handful of them still pored over the transcripts of the hacks looking for that key word that would pop out and give them a place to start again.

Her closest friends, Alec's closest friends would not give up, ever. Not until they had definitive proof either way, and for that she was so grateful. She didn't know how she would have kept it together without Mole backing her authority, Luke and Dix keeping her up to date on the necessary business of TC when she got distracted. And there was the moral support from Joshua, Ralph, Gem, Dalton, Fixit, Zero and Bugler, all of whom wanted to talk about Alec, to keep his memory fresh, to remind each other of what he meant to them all.

She was surprised that Asha would call now and then, wanting to know if anything had developed, wanting to let Max know that she was still looking. She knew Asha and Alec had almost had a thing once upon a time, but she'd thought it hadn't gone anywhere, that Asha had seen through his _carpe diem_ gambit and given him the brush-off. Maybe Asha felt some sense of obligation to Max for helping her out with the traitor in the S1W. Or maybe it was about Alec. Maybe Asha had seen through all his gambits, maybe she'd got a glimpse of the real Alec at some point too, and knew he was worth the trouble. Whatever the reason, Max would take any help she could get.

Sketchy's leads were never very reliable, but she'd kept him in the loop. You never knew; he'd had some scoops in the past after all, and it was always possible that he wouldn't understand the significance of a clue.

Original Cindy was frequently in touch, and as the air in TC became less toxic, she was around more and more, which Max was grateful for. OC was a wise old head and Max appreciated her support and advice. And it didn't hurt for the population of TC to see an Ordinary who wanted to hang with transgenics and wouldn't stare or judge.

Logan, too, was around TC, taking advantage of the improved atmosphere, but it was more and more strained between them. Max wanted to be friends with him, she'd cared about him for such a long time, but she knew he was still holding out for more, and she knew he was still looking for leads with a degree of reluctance, no matter that he carefully avoided saying anything negative about Alec, or her continued hope for his return.

###

Alec had never slept easily. He'd learned to control the physical manifestations of his nightmares at Manticore. If they'd seen him tossing and turning, if they'd seen him jerk awake, sweating and panting, they'd have sent him back to Psy-ops, or had him killed. Nightmares were evidence of psychological weakness as far as they were concerned. As far as Alec was concerned there was no way to live the life they did, to carry out those missions and not have nightmares. He couldn't stop them but he could control his body.

After Manticore, he still hadn't been able to shake those nightmares. He figured it was the price he paid for keeping his mask on during the day. If he was "always all right" in the waking world, the memories of death and blood and horror and pain had to come out somewhere.

And it was manageable when the nightmares could be chased away by the bright hopes Max had presented him with; the possibility of freedom, of redemption. The idea that he could be valued, could be worthy of friendship.

Now his waking world was the same as his dreaming one, it was wearing him down. He tried to hold onto those ideals she'd introduced him to, but they were drifting away from him day by day. It wasn't that he was tempted to return to the sort of pragmatic selfishness that had governed his life "BM", Before Max, it was too late for that, he'd come too far, he cared too much.

He just wanted so badly for the pain to end.

He couldn't remember silence any more, he couldn't remember peace. He'd held on to defiance as long as he could. He was trying so hard not to give in to the images and words repeating over and over in his mind.

All he could hold to now was the knowledge that he could not speak, he could never speak, because of the two words that he knew for sure were his: Max and Alec; her name and the name she'd given him. They were all that mattered, as long as he remembered those words he could resist Manticore's words and he wouldn't break. Max and Alec. Those names would save him.

###

Four months and two days. Max was still hoping for a break, almost anticipating it every morning, and crushed with disappointment every night, but when it came, she just wasn't expecting it.

A transgenic jumped the fence, only to collapse into unconsciousness on landing. She was taken to medical and treated for broken ribs and a gunshot wound to the back.

Max paced outside, and when the newcomer was conscious and well enough to talk, Max entered, intending to give the usual debrief: who did you know in Psy-ops, who have you talked to since Manticore went down, have you ever been approached by anyone wanting to start up Manticore again, have you seen anyone matching Alec's description.

Max was going through the motions as she had with fifty or more new arrivals since Callie's one useful lead, so she was almost casual when she started.

It took seconds before her heart was pounding in her chest, her hands shaking with adrenaline.

X6-727 hadn't been aware of the fire at Manticore. She'd been stationed in DC, but had suddenly been extracted from her mission and ordered to report to an outpost in Virginia. She'd remained there until a week ago, when she'd been accused of insubordination for punching one of the human guards who'd tried to grope her. She'd been tasered and beaten by the guard and his buddies and was about to be dragged off to Psy-ops when she'd managed to make a break for it and had just escaped with her life.

On the outside, she'd discovered that the Virginia outpost was all that remained of Manticore. She'd seen news coverage of the siege at TC and had made her way to Seattle, looking for help and strength in numbers.

Who had she had contact with? She knew Corrigan. In Virginia he was known as Dobson. He was second in command and was in charge of Psy-ops.

Had she seen anyone matching Alec's description? Yes. She'd been there when he'd tried to escape a few months back. Impressive, he was really beat up, but he'd got in a decent blow to her sternum she'd still been feeling days later. She looked away when Max made her go through the whole story in detail. He'd knocked out one of the doctors and taken down her partner with a sedative shot the doc was supposed to have used on him. Then a human guard – actually, the same asshole who'd tried to grope her – Alec had knocked him out with a head-butt when the asshole spat on him. The other guard had pistol whipped him then, but she'd been the one to restrain him finally.

In this place, this new world, recovering from her wounds due to the ministrations of other transgenics, including a former Psy-ops telecoercive, and telling her story to X5-452, the legend who'd escaped as a child, X6-727 was feeling suddenly ashamed of her actions, wanted to justify herself, to explain she was only following orders.

She looked up and her words died on her lips. There wasn't blame there, or anger, at least not for her. Only hope, and eyes shining with tears. 452's – Max's – voice was a whisper.

"Is he alive?"

"I think so. He was still there last I heard."

**Continues soon... **

**Reviews make me ridiculously cheerful. Go on, make my day!**

16


	5. Cowboy Up

**Disclaimer: Owned by Cameron/Eglee. Not me. Curses, fate!**

**A/N. Thanks for the lovely reviews, and thanks to everyone who's reading. This must be what it feels like to be JK Rowling. You know, before she made all the cash... **

**The story so far: Poor old Alec had a terrible time in the last chapter at the hands of Manticore's brutal Psy-ops team. After four months, Max finally has a lead. Will she get there in time to save him? **

**Chapter Five**

Alec couldn't even guess how long he'd been there anymore. Sometimes he thought he'd always been there, that his life before was just a dream, or maybe a hallucination. He was seeing all sorts of things these days. He didn't know if it was the drugs they kept injecting or the beatings or the electric shocks or the starvation or any of the other tortures they'd inflicted. Or maybe just that he'd gone nuts from the constant mind invasions, but he really had no idea if the man standing over him asking him if he wanted to get out of there was real.

Could it really be true that Steve McQueen worked for Manticore? He sure looked like Steve McQueen. Did that mean Steve McQueen was an immortal Government stooge, or that Alec was actually already dead? If he was dead, then none of this was real and he didn't have to worry about any of it.

But the pain was real, he knew that. He was pretty sure that the way the air conditioning unit was shrieking in his ears wasn't. Also the ants crawling under his skin. At least he hoped they weren't. But they hurt. Every inch of him hurt.

He wished he could sleep, he was exhausted, couldn't remember when he'd last slept, but for whatever reason, his heart was pounding and he felt _awake_.

"494, do you want to get out of here?"

He blinked, trying to clear the burning sensation from his eyes. Of course he wanted to get out of here. That was a dumb question. What kind of idiot would want to stay?

"You know what you need to do. Just tell me what I need to know. Just tell me about Terminal City."

It sounded so easy. Such a reasonable request.

"You tell me about Terminal City and I promise: the pain will stop."

God, that would be awesome. He couldn't remember what it felt like to not be in pain, but he was pretty sure it would be something like heaven.

"We're losing patience here 494. You can tell me or I can make the pain worse. What's it going to be?"

He really didn't want the pain to get any worse. It was all he could do right now to keep from screaming. The ants were biting under his skin and he knew without doubt that if he moved his head even a fraction of an inch his right eye would burst and his brain would pour out.

Why wasn't he talking? It seemed like they'd been asking him these same questions for so long now. Why didn't he just open his mouth and tell Steve McQueen and get the hell out of there? He knew there was a reason, but the pain in his head, he just couldn't think straight. Two words. There were two words he needed to hold on to. They told him everything he needed to know.

"I warned you. This is your choice 494." Agony ripped through him, every muscle in spasm. His skull was splitting open, his skin was tearing off. He could hear his own scream over the shrieking of the vent above him. Oh god, he had to make it stop. He couldn't take any more of this. If he just told...

Max and Alec.

And even though the pain was unrelenting, the confusion left him and he felt calm. Max. He wasn't 494, he was Alec and he was doing this for Max. Because he loved Max. His shield was still in place, protecting him from the worst they could do. They could break his body. They could kill him but they couldn't change that, they couldn't take it from him. He loved Max and he would never betray her. He clamped his mouth shut, cutting off the scream. He Would Not Talk.

###

Max worked really hard on not getting her hopes up, but the second she heard that qualified confirmation that Alec was alive, her heart had him back in TC, her imagination so powerful she could feel him in her arms, his precise height, where her head would reach on his chest, the sound of his heart beating, his smell, the warmth of his body.

Her head told her there was still a long way to go.

They had to get this right, their one shot to get him back. He was all the way across the other side of the country. He was back in Manticore, which had never really died, just gone further underground to regroup.

X6-727 was keen to show her loyalty to what she hoped would be her new home. She gave detailed information about the layout, personnel, schedules and fortifications at the Virginia installation. She volunteered for the rescue mission. Max wanted to take her up on it, but she was injured and Max knew she needed only soldiers at the top of their game.

It was agreed 727 would make the trip but would help guide them from outside via A/V link.

Max asked 727 what she wanted to be called now she was free but the girl said she couldn't decide and anyway, she liked the names that Max thought up.

Max didn't need to think about it, "Hope."

A little of the anxiety dropped from the girl's shoulders and she smiled shyly as she tested the new name.

"Hope." She nodded in acceptance.

###

Hope hadn't seen Alec after that one time, two weeks into his captivity, but she'd given Max to understand that Alec had been hurt badly already, and she'd been there in the room when Dobson had shot him point blank in the thigh. Dobson and his lackeys always wanted to appear all-powerful, so it wasn't exactly broadcast and she didn't know details, but there were whispers now and then that Alec had proved less malleable than expected.

All of which meant that they wouldn't have gone easy on him and Max didn't want to think about what state Alec could be in after four months, but she had to factor it into her calculations. He sure as hell wouldn't be walking out of there with a big grin on his face.

They'd need to charter a plane. Even with their inside knowledge, they'd need an arsenal because if Plan A: Operation Sneak in and Rescue Alec failed, they'd need to go to Plan B: Operation Raze Manticore to the Ground and Rescue Alec.

She realised she was loading for bear because part of her wanted Plan B. Part of her wanted to kill every last son of a bitch who had laid a hand on Alec.

###

Max stood in the hangar with Mole and Gem going over the diagrams once more with Hope. They'd be ready for takeoff in twenty minutes, and she couldn't stop shaking.

She could have Alec back within hours.

She knew they were going as fast as possible. Hope had sat with Joshua who had drawn the detailed diagrams of the layout from her descriptions. They'd pooled every last cent and promised the pilot the rest within 48 hours (he hadn't been keen on that arrangement until Max had suggested that his alternative was piloting with both his hands broken off). The weapons and ammo had been checked and double checked. Their plan was in place and their team kitted and ready to move out within three hours of Max breaking the news of the new information.

She hadn't wanted for volunteers, in fact she'd had to say no to quite a few of them. She'd tried to say no to Mole, but that hadn't gone over so well.

"I should go with you."

"Mole, I don't know. It's still dangerous out there."

"I don't want to put anyone at risk, but-"

"It's not that, I'm worried about you."

"Look Max, I need to be there. I owe Alec."

"What do you mean?"

"The Jam Pony siege? He got shot because I was using him as a human shield. I didn't exactly give him a lot of choice, but he never held it against me. And after...after Bullet, Cob and Fritz, you know... He stopped by at least twice a day to annoy me."

"I didn't know that."

"Yeah. How do I always end up in these horrifying soul baring moments with you?"

"How do_ I_ end up in them with _you_? Ok Mole, Cowboy up; you're in."

The pilot beckoned them over and her foot was just on the bottom step of the plane when her cell phone rang.

###

Dix could barely get the words out. He knew what they'd do to Max and he'd have sooner chewed his own leg off than break this news. He'd managed to intercept imagery of the installation in Virginia from a military satellite and he wished he wasn't as good a hacker as he was but it was clear that the base was abandoned, buildings charred from fire and partially reduced to rubble. Their plan too was up in smoke.

###

Max became aware of shouting and a green scaly face right up in hers. She didn't know how but she was sitting on the bottom step of the plane and her phone was in pieces on the ground.

"Max! You hear me?" Mole's face would have registered concern had it been capable of nuanced expression; as it was it was all in his eyes.

"He's gone." She whispered, almost unable to understand the words coming out of her own mouth and unaware of the tears running down her cheeks.

"What are you talking about? We're ready to leave, we're getting him back. What's going on?"

"Dix. He got a satellite image. The base is destroyed. There's nobody there anymore."

Mole's mouth dropped open, "No, it can't be. Hope was there a week ago."

"Something happened since then. It's burned down. It's gone. Oh god, Mole, where is he?"

"We should still go. Make sure."

"You think?"

"No stone unturned, right? There might be some clue, some lead there."

###

Max sent Mole and Gem on the flight; the rest of them returned to TC, Max with the intention of getting further information from Hope, whose name suddenly seemed like a horrible joke.

"Why would they up and leave like that?"

"I don't know. It was fully operational when I ran. Max, I'm so sorry, I swear, I had no idea. I wouldn't lie to you."

Hope had no information about the existence of any other Manticore bases. Fat tears rolled down the girl's face and Max didn't know if she was being a sap, but she believed her.

She wished she could blame someone, but there was no one in TC at fault. They'd just been too late.

The wall had a hole the size of Max's fist in it and her knuckles hurt like crazy, but she was glad. She tried to imagine that that pain she'd inflicted on herself would somehow take a corresponding amount of pain away from Alec.

###

Mole and Gem called in to report that they were sorry, but they had very little to cheer Max. The site was abandoned. They'd gone through the wreckage and had found that Manticore had been thorough as usual, there were no conveniently half-burned papers or discarded CCTV videos. They weren't exactly back to square one, but it felt pretty damn close.

The only luck they had was that the road that passed the turn off for the base was sparsely inhabited by one or two rickety houses, and Gem had used all of her guile to charm the residents into talking. There were suspicions as to what went on at that base, but it was considered prudent to keep oneself to oneself. However, if a person had happened to be aware of such things, it was possible that the glow of fire had been seen in the sky and trucks may well have rumbled by in the early hours only five days previously.

"I know it's not much to go on." Gem's voice sounded as disappointed as she imagined Max felt, "We didn't get anywhere tracking them last time, and if they covered their tracks even half as well this time..." She tailed off.

"Head home, Gem. It's a start at least. I'll pass it to Luke and Dix, see what they can come up with."

Max hung up the phone and for a moment couldn't muster the energy to push herself to her feet. Gem was right. Alec could be anywhere now, again, and she was so tired of being scared for him and so lonely for his presence. The only word she could think of to describe it accurately was homesick. She felt _homesick_ without Alec. Tears sprang to her eyes, stinging and she couldn't see the point of wiping them away.

###

She allowed herself no more than a minute of weakness. She did wipe the tears away; she still needed to be steadfast for the others. She squared her shoulders and walked purposefully back into command. She didn't know where she found the strength, but she managed to put some optimism into the news from Gem and Mole and set everyone back on the case.

###

Despite the disappointments of their previous efforts, the team Luke and Dix had put together were less daunted than Max, or Gem and Mole. They picked up the trail and went to work. The Virginia site being less densely populated Seattle, it was possible to determine with a degree of certainty that the trucks had headed for the nearest military airfield; to calculate almost exactly when they would have arrived there; and from there to hack into the flight records and discover that only three flights had taken off that night.

One flight had been bound for New York and the passenger manifest indicated a three star general and her staff had been aboard. That didn't seem a likely candidate.

Dix had been allowed to tell Max the news, given he'd had to break the bad news last time. Whether it was by necessity or design, two of the flights had been bound for the military airfield outside Seattle. The airfield only a few miles from the Seattle Manticore installation they all knew and loathed.

Hacked satellite images showed that where Virginia was in ruins, the previously wrecked Seattle site had been partially rebuilt.

He knew he probably shouldn't get his, or Max's hopes up, but Dix finally had a good feeling that Alec was almost home.

###

Alec was still being given drugs to keep him awake but he was barely aware of his surroundings, his conscious mind tortured beyond exhaustion, beyond coherent thought. He had no idea that he'd been moved from the compound, taken by truck and then plane to another base, was too disorientated to take in his surroundings and to point to anything that marked them as different or familiar; anything that would have identified the place that had been home of a sort for most of his life. He certainly didn't have the awareness to recognise that he was back in the same old Psy-ops unit he'd spent all that time in before his brief taste of freedom.

If he had been able to appreciate those things, given that he still had no hope of escape, he'd have been hard pressed to say whether he felt better or worse for being so close to his real home and his real family: TC and Max.

###

They had no evidence that Alec had been on one of those flights. No evidence that he was even still alive. Max knew it would be foolish to get her hopes up, but she just couldn't help it. She just couldn't shake the certainty that Alec was here in Seattle, finally within her grasp.

She tempered her optimism by allowing herself to entertain the likelihood that the transfer of Manticore operations back to Seattle was due to the presence of the transgenic community in TC. It would likely mean trouble for them. Indeed, if the plan was to restore Manticore to its former glory, this bore all the hallmarks of their enemy readying for the end game.

Still, it meant they got to kill two birds with one stone: they could get Alec back while putting down the Manticore threat, hopefully, this time, for good.

###

They weren't sure of numbers; it was possible that in addition to the Virginia contingent, other reinforcements were in situ, and they couldn't rely on their own familiarity with the complex, since they had no way of knowing if the rebuilding work had followed the old plans or a completely new design.

The intelligence team had pulled out all the stops, but the information just wasn't there to be hacked. Instead, Max was having to rely on old fashioned surveillance. She'd sent a small recon team, who'd scoped the place out for two days, getting as much information as they could without breaching the perimeter and risking giving themselves away.

They had returned with detailed notes about the timings of the patrols and the individuals working the security assignment, but the intel they'd gathered on the buildings they could see was sketchy at best. Max could have left them out there longer, but there was no guarantee they be in any better position, and she just couldn't let Alec wait any longer.

The only advantage she had was the proximity of the target. It meant Max was able to muster a bigger force this time.

###

They made their way out of TC in small groups, not drawing any attention. Some slipped the fence where it was quiet, some exited the tunnels. They met in units of ten in eight locations where team leaders had acquired transportation, and then headed out of the city by different sectors, finally becoming a convoy on the old two-lane road headed for the base.

The vans pulled off into the woods about a mile from the perimeter fence and the teams fell in.

"Everyone knows the plan. We are here to rescue Alec. He's the priority." Max paused. "That said, once he's secured, you are to use the opportunity to obtain any records that might be of use to us.

"We've all got some freaky-ass problems Manticore dropped on us, so any information that can help us deal with those issues comes with us.

"We're also looking for anything we can take that will provide evidence of Manticore's illegal activities to the press, especially if it will paint us in a better light.

"Also, we know from Hope that they still have at least twenty transgenics working for them. These transgenics are not betrayers; they've just never known freedom. That means that given the chance, some of them might want to defect and come with us, but some could still be true believers. You'll need to use your judgement there: they're welcome to pitch in, but if they fight us, we have no choice but to defend ourselves.

"When everyone's clear the demolition teams blow the place. We finish Manticore here today."

"Questions?" Max waited, but no one spoke. "Ok. Let's go get Alec back."

###

The teams were in place at intervals outside the perimeter fence, watching for patrols. Max hated the idea of flying so blind. It put all her people at risk. She questioned her decision to take so many of them on the mission. They were trying to rescue one man. One man they didn't even know for sure was even there. She justified her decision to herself with the knowledge that she hadn't been exactly hurting for volunteers. In fact, she'd still had to turn a lot of them down. She hadn't even tried to suggest Mole didn't come this time, although she had asked him, didn't he think someone in their circle should remain behind as acting CO? He'd just stared at her for a moment then said, "Max if they can't look after themselves for a few hours, there's no hope for us." Max had shrugged; she couldn't argue with that. And Alec was her first priority, but they all had a stake in the action against Manticore. She just hoped that reasoning would see her through the guilt if anything went wrong.

She gave the signal and, as one, they leapt the twenty foot fence.

###

Manticore's security patrols were taken completely by surprise. Of the six pairs of guards, only two were transgenics, and while the humans were put down with tranquiliser darts before they could even reach for their radios, the transgenics, who would have been capable of putting up a fight and maybe raising the alarm, were more than happy to accept the promise of freedom and a new home in return for agreeing to be restrained for the duration of the mission.

The remains of the old buildings provided some useful cover once they left the woods. All the teams were in place to enter the new complex without a sound having been made to give away their presence.

Again, they moved in sync, displaying all the speed and stealth and grace with which Manticore had endowed them.

Max had learned from experience to be most suspicious when things seemed to be going most smoothly.

Someone was spotted, or an alarm was tripped, and suddenly Manticore awoke to the threat. Sirens sounded and transgenic ears picked up the sounds of boots hitting tile floors at a run, identifying the directions from which guards were approaching. They readied themselves for close quarter combat.

Max concentrated, separating sets of footsteps into individual soldiers. She counted five coming at them from the north and seven approaching from behind them to the south. They were ten metres from the entrance to a stairwell, but they couldn't know what threat lay behind the door. She had to decide fast. She signalled to the team, Gem, Joshua and Zero were to take the north, while she, Ralph and Dix took the south. Hope, Fran, Soda and Nila were to take the stairs and radio what they found.

They blurred. The guards were not transgenics, and they had all twelve tranquilised and restrained in under two minutes. The six transgenics followed their path towards the north quadrant of the main building, clearing rooms as they went. When the corridor split, she sent Gem, Joshua and Zero west, while she, Ralph and Dix headed east. The radio squawked to indicate that the approaching steps were from Luke's team, and they met at the next corner.

"We're clear this way Max." Luke assured her.

She sent Luke's team on and she took her group back to the stairwell, taking the same quadrant on the next floor.

Resistance was sporadic. She heard bursts of gun fire here and there, but the teams in question checked in to report that the Manticore operatives had been subdued and only two non-fatal gunshot wounds had been sustained.

The numbers were not as great as they'd feared and they had the main building cleared within fifteen minutes, forty eight soldiers, sixteen scientists and twenty two lab techs were secured in the barracks' cells. The nineteen transgenics they'd faced were being held separately, ready to be offered the opportunity to leave with them, to join TC or make their own way in the world, or stay and face whatever fate awaited them.

Manticore had made a mistake. It thought it had taught the transgenics everything they knew. It had also taught the transgenics everything it knew. And what Manticore definitely had not bargained for was that the transgenics had learned a few tricks of their own since then.

Mole's team had taken the other, smaller building to the west of the main building, and finally Max received the call she'd been waiting for.

"Mole to Max. Building's secure. I've got him. Alec's here."

With Joshua following close behind, Max took off running, shouting the order over her shoulder to Ralph to set everyone to the next phase of the plan: data gathering. Their contingent was large enough they'd be able to take the place apart.

###

Max passed Mole's team in the corridor leading to the room Mole had directed them to. She made brief eye contact with his second, Duke. "Mole told us to hang back. Corrigan's in there, but everyone else is cleared."

"Good. Report to Ralph in the barracks and lock them up with the others."

Max led the way into the room, followed by Joshua, both of them with guns drawn. The lights in the lab were bright; much brighter than in the corridor, and the bright white tiles, polished chrome and the smell of disinfectant were overwhelming after the bare breeze blocks and dull tiles of the rest of the building.

On one side of the room was a bank of computers, monitors and papers piled on a desk. Facing them sitting in the desk chair was Corrigan, the man in the suit that she hadn't seen for more than four months, but whose face was etched into her memory.

Despite the gun Mole had trained on him, Corrigan still wore the smirk he had then, but this time he was dressed in surgical scrubs covered by a white doctor's coat. He raised his hands and went to stand, but stopped at Mole's growl and readjustment of his aim.

"I wondered if you'd track us down eventually. It's been a while, 452. How've you been?"

His calm enraged her but Max didn't acknowledge his taunts, her attention moving to Mole, she was only interested in one thing, "Where's Alec?"

"No small talk? Ah well..." Corrigan sighed as though disappointed by her rudeness.

Mole gestured with his head. On the other side of the room was a large window into a connecting room and while Mole kept his gun and his glare on the man, Max and Joshua moved forwards a little to look through. They gasped as one, and Max blurred forward through the door.

Alec was barely recognisable. He lay on an exam table, restrained wrist and ankle and across the chest, but his head was slumped to the side, his eyes closed and, but for the slight rise and fall of his chest, he wasn't moving.

The room was cold as a meat locker, making her breath fog. His face was so pale, his lips almost blue. God knew how long he'd been lying in the freezing cold room.

Worse though, he was naked, his head was shaved and Max was horrified not only by the disregard for his dignity, his humanity, and not only by the obvious injuries, bruises and wounds all over him, but Alec was practically wasted away he was so thin. Every rib stood out, his hip bones sharp above his sunken abdomen. He looked like a famine victim.

She looked around in shock to the man who was responsible for such inhumanity and his nonchalance took her breath away, "How could you do this?" She couldn't help asking.

Corrigan raised a shoulder as though he couldn't fathom her asking such a banal question, and when he did speak, it wasn't to answer her question.

"I'm just waiting to see if he'll wake up. We went pretty hard on him today. He's taking longer to recover each time, getting weaker. I was hoping to see what would give first, his body or his spirit. It's too bad you've arrived before I could find out. I had money on the spirit at first, but I'll confess he's impressed me. Still where there's life..."

"What have you done to him?"

"The usual. Nothing he wasn't used to from our Manticore days. Not much anyway."

"Max, you need this son of a bitch alive, or can I kill him now?" Mole asked gruffly, clearly hoping for the latter option.

"Haven't decided. Keep him covered, OK, Josh and I'll take care of Alec." Max moved to remove the restraints as Joshua shrugged off his coat and laid it over Alec's hips to at least give him a little dignity. She was worried that he didn't react at all to the physical contact. His skin was cold and clammy when she touched his hand.

Her eyes flicked to his face again, it was hard to look at him; he was so changed. There were deep shadows under his eyes, though the rest of his face was so frighteningly pale that she shifted her gaze to his chest for reassurance that he was still alive and breathing. His breaths were shallow, but they seemed regular. She took a deep breath and moved to release him from the restraints.

"Hey Mole, we need clothes for Alec," Max called and Mole smiled without warmth around his cigar. "You heard the lady. Clothes off. Now."

"Careful. We shouldn't move him too much." Max took in the deep bruising on his chest and abdomen. It looked like he'd been beaten with a bat and she was worried there could be broken ribs underneath, maybe bleeding. Alec didn't react to being moved, didn't so much as flinch as Max and Joshua worked him into Corrigan's scrubs as gently as possible. Joshua covered him again in the jacket, attempting to warm him up a little.

She looked to the man Mole was still covering with his gun. She was so angry she wanted to let Mole shoot the guy. Wanted to tear him apart herself. She nearly gave into it too. At the last, she reminded herself they were the good guys, well, better guys. "We'll lock him in here until we decide what to do with him." She indicated the refrigerated room and Mole pushed him, none too gently with the business end of his shotgun.

Once inside, Max roughly cuffed him to an exposed pipe with a cable tie. "Enjoy your own hospitality," she spat out, smacking his head hard into the pipe as she rose.

She looked back to Alec and, putting his torturer out of her mind, reached out a hand to touch his face, "Let's get him home."

**###**

Joshua and Mole rolled Alec carefully onto the stretcher, and while Max radioed orders into the teams she watched with surprise at how gentle the two huge transhumans were with their injured friend.

They left Corrigan in the freezing cold room. Ralph was sending teams to search the building and they'd collect him and lock him up with the others at the last possible moment.

They took a Manticore truck so they wouldn't have to carry Alec, or their other wounded, two X5s called Sunny and Poe, through the woods. If Alec hadn't been so badly injured, she would have stayed until the mission was completed, but they were ready to move now and she found she didn't care about seeing Manticore burn anymore, barely cared about Corrigan, all that concerned her now was getting Alec to safety.

Alec lay with his head resting in Max's lap, and his legs across Joshua's; they hoped the contact would help him warm up, and maybe, somewhere deep down, he'd be aware of it, reassured by their protective presence. Mole, Luke, Ralph, Dalton and Gem sat against the opposite side. Sunny and Poe sat up front with Dix, who started the van, punched the heat up to full and drove carefully, not wanting to hit the potholes on the crappy roads.

No one in the van was speaking; Max guessed they were all shell-shocked. They'd known it could be bad, they'd all experienced Manticore's cruelty, and they'd all seen death many times. They knew that maybe this retrieval mission would only succeed in bringing back Alec's body, but this was beyond what any of them had imagined.

Dalton, the youngest of the group, the least experienced, the most innocent, was almost as pale as Alec. He kept his gaze carefully turned to the back window, but Max could see the silent tears running down his cheeks and she wasn't even surprised to see the usually gruff and abrasive Mole place a comforting hand on the kid's shoulder, and leave it there.

They had a long way to travel, and Max tried to keep her anxiety under control. They'd radioed base to prepare Medical for the wounded, and while they'd put pressure bandages on Sunny and Poe's wounds, which were thankfully pretty superficial, there wasn't really anything much they could do for Alec until they got him back home. He was breathing, and though he still hadn't woken, hadn't even twitched, his body was starting to warm up.

Max kept her eyes moving between his face and his chest, checking for returning consciousness, checking his breathing. All she could do was try to offer a little comfort. She rested her hand on his head, stroking his stubbly hair down to his forehead in a repetitive motion, and then she lifted his hand from the hard floor of the van, and held it gently on his chest, making sure to avoid the areas she knew were badly bruised. She squeezed it a little, wanting him to feel she was there, but with the contact, she felt something odd, something scratchy. She turned his palm face up and saw irritated skin just on the padding below where his fingers started.

She lifted his hand to look closer and stroked her thumb across the scratchy edge. It looked like something metallic was underneath the skin, sticking out at the edge of his palm under his index finger.

"What is this?" She looked up at the others and Mole came closer.

"What the hell? Shit, could it be a tracker? A transmitter or something?"

"I don't know. Should we pull it out? I don't want to hurt him."

"I don't think we have a choice. We don't want them to follow us, to get him back, right?"

"Ok, you do it, slow and careful. I'll hold his hand steady."

Mole approached it like it was a bomb. He caught the tiny edge in his nails and pulled gently, sliding the piece of metal out until it was free. Gem handed Max a bandage which she wrapped around Alec's hand, though in truth, even though the piece of metal was about three inches long, it was quite fine and only a spot of blood oozed out. Mole held up the metal for them to examine.

"What the hell is it? Is it a micro-transmitter?"

Ralph spoke up, "I think it's a paperclip."

Max looked again, "I think you're right."

"Why would Alec have paperclip buried in hand?" Joshua asked.

"He was gonna use it to try to escape again," Max answered, her voice a little hushed with admiration.

###

They'd been on the road a little over an hour when she felt Alec shift in her arms. She sat straighter, watching carefully to see if he was waking up. His muscles tensed a little, and she squeezed his hand, moving her touch from his forehead to his cheek, "Alec, can you hear me? Can you open your eyes?" When he didn't respond, she opened her mouth to try again, only to gasp in alarm as his whole body arched and went into seizure.

The others just watched, frozen as she and Joshua held him steady, keeping him from harming himself any further.

Her heart almost stopped in her chest as she realised that he wasn't breathing. There was nothing she could do while the convulsions persisted, and her fear built towards panic as she counted time, knowing that while a transgenic could go without oxygen a lot longer than an ordinary, even they had their limit.

He was turning blue but the seizure was showing no sign of releasing him. She didn't know what to do. They had no way to help him, their first aid kit held only bandages and morphine. If he didn't recover in the next minute or two they were going to lose him.

Finally the spasms diminished and then stopped, and he lay still and limp in her arms. She could hear his heart racing, but his chest still wasn't moving. She signalled to Gem for help and they moved him off her lap so that he lay flat on the floor of the van. She tilted his head back, checking his airway was clear, and then leaned over him, sealed her lips over his and breathed into his lungs. She flicked her eyes to his chest as she felt the exhale on her cheek, waiting for him to take the next breath. There was nothing, so she forced a second breath into him, then a third.

"Come on Alec, breathe for me!" she urged him, then breathed again into him. His chest rose and fell only with her efforts. Gem held his hand tightly and added her encouragement to Max's. Joshua still had Alec's legs in his lap, and he kept his hands on his left ankle, squeezing gently, another anchor for him, another friend willing him to fight back.

She kept trying, his heart was still beating; there was still hope. She continued breathing for him for several minutes, until finally, as she was about to force in another breath, she felt a tiny movement of air. She stayed close, her ear to his mouth, her eyes on his chest, and she felt and watched him take another breath, then another. They were shallow, and few and far between, but it was enough to keep a transgenic alive for the time being.

###

Dix had radioed base a second time about the seizure and the fact that Alec had stopped breathing for several minutes, so the med team weren't taking any chances. They were waiting outside the doors to the infirmary as the doors to the van opened. Callie jumped up into the van, checking his breathing and putting an oxygen mask over his face before she'd let them move him. Then she, Jin and Cam rolled him and slid the stretcher back underneath him, keeping him as still as possible. Jin and Cam carried him inside, while Callie rounded up Sunny and Poe, leaving the rescue team to follow in their wake.

Max looked around at the others. They all looked as wrecked as she felt. Dalton had stopped crying, but he was far from OK. She felt a hand on her shoulder and for the first time she realised they were surrounded by a sea of worried faces.

It was Fixit who'd touched her, and who seemed to have taken the lead with the others. She was looking at Max expectantly and Max realised she must have spoken already, was waiting for an answer.

"Max, is he going to be OK?"

Max hesitated, biting her lip. "I don't know. He's pretty beat up. Med are going to do everything they can."

The faces around her went from expectant to worried, "I guess they'll be a little while. Why don't you all get back home and we'll send word as soon as there's news." No one moved, and Fixit looked round at the group. "I think we'll just stay here and wait," she said.

###

Max wasn't sure how long they'd been sitting outside the exam room, but it had to have been a couple of hours. She couldn't seem to focus on anything, just kept seeing pictures replaying through her mind. Alec lying unconscious in that lab, seizing in the van, not breathing and turning blue, Callie putting the oxygen mask over his face. Alec lying on the stretcher being carried away from her into Medical.

Finally, the door opened and it was Cam who came out to talk to them. Max stood to hear the news. "How is he?"

Cam looked around at his audience and took a deep breath, "He's still unconscious, but he's stable. First things first, I guess: he was badly dehydrated, hypoglycaemic and in hypovolaemic shock, that's why he had the seizure and stopped breathing. He's anaemic, very low iron levels. We gave him a couple of units of blood and a glucose IV, and his BP's coming back up, and his breathing's stabilised. He was mildly hypothermic, and we're bringing his temp up slowly, but it's not dangerously low. He's badly malnourished. His electrolytes are all over the place, and his kidneys were on the verge of shutting down.

"He's got various injuries, in various stages of healing. There are burns, knife wounds, blunt force trauma. He has broken ribs, there's a partially healed comminuted fracture to his left femur. Hope told you they'd shot him in the thigh, right?"

Max nodded faintly, and Cam continued, "Damage to both wrists and ankles, probably from struggling against restraints. Broken fingers. They beat his feet. Most of the bones have been broken over the months. His right shoulder has been dislocated, and the left badly wrenched, there's ligament damage to his elbow joints as well, looks like the left elbow was dislocated, suggesting that they hung him by his arms for long periods. There's a hairline skull fracture, in addition to a cracked cheekbone and dislocated jaw.

"There's muscle wastage from being immobilised with restraints, and probably with large doses of muscle relaxants. There's evidence of retinal scarring. They used the laser on him. They used tele-coercion on him as well as the physical torture.

"We've taken blood to test for any drugs still in his system. It won't tell us everything, but we'll have an idea of where he is right now and any withdrawal or side effects we might need to deal with. Jin's working on the analysis right now.

"Some of these injuries are older, some are newer, but because of combination of torture methods, the starvation, and the fact that none of it has been treated, his transgenic healing hasn't really been able to deal with it all, and it's slowed right down to pretty much the level of an ordinary. He's taken a hell of a beating."

The barrage of information left Max barely able to take it all in. She asked the only question that really mattered, "Will he be ok?"

"I hope so. He's still fighting, and we're taking care of him now, but he needs a lot of treatment and we need to build his strength back up. It's going to take a while."

Max was freaking out. She'd started regretting not killing Corrigan during the ride in the truck with Alec passed out in her arms. She wanted to go back now and finish the job. He wasn't even human. Who could do that? Who could take pleasure in ripping a person apart like that?

###

He hurt all over. That was always the first thing he noticed when he came back to himself. How bad it hurt and how weak he felt. His head was still spinning. Had been for months, he thought. Maybe longer; impossible to tell really. He did the usual inventory. How much injury he could feel. How much mobility he estimated he had. His hands weren't restrained. That wasn't necessarily significant. Oftentimes that meant he'd open his eyes to see a gun on him. Still, it hadn't happened for a while. His ankles were free too. Hmm. Could be that meant he'd open his eyes to one of the tinier cells. The one they shrank until he couldn't move at all maybe.

Next in the inventory were sounds and smells. There were people around, he could tell that he wasn't alone. It was a mixture of scents and whispered voices. Too many to separate conversations. Definitely a mix of male and female. He couldn't tell how many yet, just that they were new. That was never good. A new person meant someone else trying to prove themselves. A zealot or just someone looking to impress. Either way it always meant a little added gusto to the torture. And several new people?

He brought his focus back inwards. He felt a little stronger than he had last time he'd been awake. Could be the sleep. It was easier to breathe. His ribs still stung as bad as they had, but he wasn't laid flat like he had been last he remembered. His upper body was raised a little and it was the most comfortable he'd been in ages. He could feel something over his nose and mouth. It felt a little claustrophobic but he could feel air passing over his face from the mask and he realised it was an oxygen mask. Must've given them a scare, he figured. Wasn't they first time they'd driven him to the brink only to pull him back at the last because they just weren't done with him.

But Jesus, his whole body ached. Still, new faces and a helping hand in the way of oxygen and maybe some fluids. It was a chance to do some damage, even if his escape plans had always revealed themselves to be futile in the end.

Next step was seeing what was what. His vision had been pretty blurry the last time he'd had any light to see by. The laser was playing havoc with his right eye in particular. With only one half-way decent eye, his depth perception was shot. He had to be ready to face whatever was waiting before he opened his eyes. Had to take a moment to prepare his game face because the second they noticed he was awake it was on and he couldn't let them win this. It was escape or die. Losing, breaking, betraying Max just weren't options.

Before he'd completed his inventory, he felt someone standing over him, a hand came down towards his face, rested on his forehead and a finger was pushing up his eyelid. Light blinded him then moved away and in the moment before the finger released his eyelid, he recognised the face above him.

Manticore. Psy-ops, another telecoercive. He didn't hesitate, he brought his fist up with as much strength as he could muster and clocked her in the nose, hearing a satisfying crack and grunt of pain as the nose broke.

His adrenaline kicked in hard and he launched himself up, aiming to follow through with another punch, a kick, anything to get her away from him, keep her out of the game. He knew her from before. When 493, Ben, had gone nuts she had done her best to send him the same way.

Before he could get to his feet, other hands were on him, his chest, his arms, pinning his legs, forcing him back down. He kicked away another body, heard a clatter as whoever it was fell. He struggled, but the pain was so bad and he was so tired, so weak that he just couldn't shake them off. He felt the heat and sting of another drug travelling up the vein in his left arm and they held him down until the last of his strength left him and his eyes closed.

###

He stilled and they were all in shock. He'd gone from out cold to fighting with everything he had in a split second. Max had barely moved from the door before Jin had emptied the syringe into the IV port in his arm and she didn't think Alec had even been aware of her presence, even understood he was free before Jin had put him down again.

Callie rose to her feet, a hand holding her shirt to her nose, mopping up blood.

"What the hell, Jin?" Her voice was angry and Max's hackles rose, ready to jump in and defend Alec.

"I know, he just came at you-" Jin started, but Callie was talking over him.

"He didn't know where he was! Why the hell were you all coming at him like that? Why did you _DRUG_ him?"

Max stood down, ready to hear how this would play out between the medics.

"He decked you Callie!" Jin was defensive now, had acted on instinct and was only now thinking it through.

"Shit! Shit!" Callie shouted. "This was my fault. I shouldn't have been near him. Max, I'm sorry." Max looked up in surprise that she was being addressed. "I was the last person should've been here when he woke up. He remembered me, recognised me from Manticore."

Jin was on the self-justification route and picked up on the cue, "What happened?"

"None of your business, Jin," she returned, snappy with pain and self-recrimination. "You wanna know; you'll have to ask him some day."

She touched her nose again, gingerly and sighed. "Why did you drug him? We hadn't even tried to get through to him yet."

"He's in full on defence mode, Callie. He could've killed you. We should restrain him just in case."

"No way! Not gonna happen. He's free now. He's gotta feel safe. I'm taking myself off the team. He needs people he knows and trusts right now."

"But..."

"Jin, I mean it. You drug him again, or try to put him in restraints; _I'll_ break _your_ nose!"

Max was impressed. It was a risk to have a groggy, disorientated transgenic loose and free, but she couldn't bear to think of him being restrained again. Not after how they'd found him. She was just glad the medic agreed. She wouldn't have to explain her sentimental reasons, just back Callie's medical orders from a command perspective.

"OK. Conversation over. No restraints, no more drugs, and Callie's off the team until further notice. I'm staying here until he wakes up, so if he reacts badly again there'll be someone here he knows well. Callie? Why don't you go patch up that nose? Jin. Let's make sure there was no damage done when he was held down, OK?"

Both medics nodded, and fell to their assigned tasks.

Max dropped to the chair beside Alec, her legs trembling. It was only to be expected he hadn't known where he was, hadn't known he was free. She hated that the first thing he'd seen had made him lash out, but she was so glad to see how much fight he'd had left in him. After everything they'd done to him, his first instinct was still to break noses, not to cower or beg.

That gave her further comfort that he had held firm under the torture; that he hadn't broken. She had been worried for months what would happen if he broke. Either Manticore, with no further use for him, would kill him or release him. If he survived, would he have been able to return to her if the fall out was bad and he was viewed as a traitor by the others, if he blamed himself?

She was so proud of him right now. Her Alec had lived through horror and returned to her with honour.

**Continues soon... Please review! Go on, please, I worked really hard on this! :)**


	6. We're not invincible

**Disclaimer: No money is being made here; only the personal satisfaction of a full throttle angst-fest.**

**Thank you to my lovely readers and reviewers. You make this writing caper even more fun. I hope you haven't got bored and drifted off as it's taken me so long to finish this chapter. I thought I had it mostly written, and then kept finding it needed more and more detail. At the same time, real life has been kicking my ass just a bit. **

**Excuses, excuses. Still, nice long chapter, which I really hope makes up for the wait. **

**So, the story so far: Alec was finally rescued from the clutches of Corrigan, Manticore's chief Psy-ops torturer. He's back in TC now, but after four months he's in pretty awful shape, and Max is worried that just getting Alec back may not be enough to get **_**her**_** Alec back. **

###

Ralph had dropped in a while ago to let her know they were back, but she guessed she'd looked less than interested because Mole had risen from his seat at the edge of the room, given her a perfunctory nod and growled, "I'll take care of it."

He hadn't been back yet and she was kind of surprised about how little curiosity she had about anything outside of that room. It had been over four hours since he'd been given the sedative and Alec was still down for the count.

She was exhausted too. She couldn't remember when she'd last had a decent night's sleep, one not disturbed by horrific images of what she imagined Alec to be going through. Now she had him back, she wasn't sure that her imagination had really done justice to the sheer viciousness of Corrigan and his lackeys. But he _was_ back, and he was with her and she hoped that if she could finally sleep that her subconscious would catch up, would overtake reality and allow her to imagine Alec safe and well again.

She remembered thinking that holding him in her arms would be enough to mend any damage that had been done to him, but every time she looked at him she wanted to cry and she feared if she took him in her arms now, she'd only hurt him. If this was what they'd done to his body, what had they done to his soul? Could he still be the same Alec who laughed and teased and smiled in a way that left her breathless? The medics were hopeful that they'd saved his life, but would she be strong enough to help him recover in his heart? That was what mattered most. That was what they had all fought for.

His hand finally felt warm in hers and that small sign of comfort relaxed her just a little, because she knew how much he hated the cold. She remembered how cold that room in Manticore had been, how cold his skin had felt. What if it had been like that the whole time? Four months and five days: what if he'd been freezing cold for every single second of it?

She shuddered and consciously stopped herself from squeezing his hand any tighter; the bones they'd broken weren't fully healed. She contented herself with lifting his warm hand to her lips.

###

Max had almost lulled herself to sleep with the repetitive motion of her thumb stroking the soft hair of Alec's eyebrow, her palm on his cheek, her fingers resting in his stubbly hairline. She was jolted back to awareness by Mole clearing his throat at the door.

"Max, I think there's some stuff you're gonna want to hear."

"Not right now Mole."

"It'll just take few minutes. Seriously, Max."

She sighed and looked back at Alec, and stroking his brow one more time, she whispered, "I won't be far."

###

"What is it?"

"There's a lot of stuff here. We'll go through it and report back what you need to know, but first things first... All but three of the transgenics are here with us. They'll need debriefing, but Hope knows them and she's vouching for them being on the up-and-up. Apparently they moved from the Virginia station because after she broke out two other transgenics did too. Wasn't a happy camp. Manticore Command wanted a lock down and figured they'd do better at Seattle with the new buildings. They were going to move anyway, just not immediately. Papers show they were planning to retrench here to take down TC. They wanted their product back. There's a code name in the files: Trojan."

"Alec? They wanted to make Alec into a Trojan horse?"

"Yep."

"They failed." Max's voice conveyed her certainty.

"Looks like." Mole wasn't disagreeing, for which she was grateful. She feared that not everyone would be as sure.

"The other three transgenics?"

"Decided to go their own way. They know they can come back if they find they don't like the open road."

"The tele-coercive?"

Ralph looked uncomfortable and a little ashamed, "We told him he could come here if he wanted to mend his ways, but he suggested we should just let him go."

"So?"

"We let him go."

Mole smirked and Max would have done too, but it scared her how easily the guy had got past her whole team, and how hard Alec had to have fought not to do exactly what he wanted.

"And the guards? Corrigan?" Since she was out here she figured she might as well get the whole story.

Ralph spoke up, "We burned the buildings, took all the files. Some of our guys wanted to kill those monsters, leave them to burn like the people trapped inside when they burned Manticore last time... I stopped them, even though I kind of agreed with them. Figured like you've said before, it's about making sure we're safe. If we killed them, we'd be the bad guys... We warned them what would happen if they came after any of us and then left them hog-tied. They can figure out how to get themselves free."

Max nodded. She knew how difficult it would have been for her people to just let those animals go, remembered how much she'd wanted to feel Corrigan's bones snapping under the force of her punches and kicks. She was proud of their restraint.

"Good work, Ralph. Sunny and Poe? How are they doing?"

"They're good. Poe went home with some pain killers. They're keeping Sunny next door overnight. Apparently she cracked her head pretty good as she went down. She's gonna be fine though."

"That's good. I'll stop by and see them when I know Alec's OK." She turned to go back to his room, but Mole stopped her with a hand to the shoulder.

"What is it Mole?" She bit back frustration. She knew all she needed to and all she wanted now was to be back with Alec.

"Max. They found something else. In the lab. They found the cure for your virus."

"What?" She almost didn't grasp what Mole had said, the virus was so far from her thoughts right now. She'd been so focused on getting to Alec that it hadn't even occurred to her to consider looking for the cure at the base.

"The cure. They found the formula and the stuff we need to make it. Ralph gave it all to Jin to work on."

Max huffed, somewhere between a laugh, a sob and a sigh. She honestly didn't know how she felt about this. Obviously she'd be glad not to be a danger to Logan anymore, but it could really complicate things, give him hope that things between them would go back to the way they had once been. She didn't really know how she felt about Logan anymore. She still cared about him, and it wasn't really his fault, but lately mostly her feelings towards him had tended towards irritation.

On the other hand, she knew exactly how she felt about Alec. That she didn't know how Alec felt about her wasn't really a factor and she certainly wasn't planning on laying any extra pressure on him by telling him. She loved him and even if he didn't return her feelings, she couldn't wish to feel any other way.

###

Alec's thoughts were slow and disjointed. He felt too heavy to move. He hazily recalled another break for freedom having been thwarted before he'd even made it upright, remembered the feel of the drug travelling through his body, stealing the strength he'd gathered, and then his consciousness with it. He lay still, trying to collect himself, get some handle on his surroundings, working hard to focus.

He felt warm, finally, could feel a blanket covering him. He couldn't figure out why they'd done that. He'd really thought he'd never be warm again. He felt stronger too, and the pain was a little less overwhelming. He wanted to hold on to suspicion, wanted to keep himself from getting used to it. Most likely they were making him comfortable just to make it worse when they took it all away again, but he couldn't help but be ridiculously grateful for the reprieve after so long.

He wasn't restrained, his wrists and ankles still throbbed from the damage done by struggling against the straps they'd used, but he could feel through that pain that his limbs were free.

His head started to clear of the fog a little and he was more able to concentrate. He listened for anyone close by; with his eyes still closed he couldn't be certain, but he couldn't hear or sense anyone in the room; he focused harder, straining his transgenic hearing to the limit and couldn't hear so much as a heartbeat in the vicinity.

He risked a tiny movement, brushed his thumb against the edge of his palm and his heart sank. His paperclip was gone. They'd found it. That had to be why they were doing this. They were toying with him, it was better now, but they'd let him get used to it, and then it would be worse than ever. He wanted to cry. He'd had that paperclip for months and they hadn't noticed. It had been his last hope of escape, the constant soreness of it under the skin always welcome, always separate from the pain in the rest of his body.

He allowed himself to break for just a moment, to feel the hopelessness, the utter despair. Then he pulled himself back from the brink. He still had a job to do. He still had to stay strong for Max. He didn't have the paperclip, but he wasn't restrained, he was alone in the room and physically he felt better than he had for as long as he could remember. He wanted more than anything to just lie there and rest, but he was a soldier and it was his duty to keep fighting, to escape if he could.

He blinked his eyes open, trying to lift the blur that still kept him from seeing clearly. He could see enough to tell that he was in a different room than he remembered, in a narrow bed rather than strapped to an exam table or a torture chair, and that the instruments around him were designed to treat rather than cause pain.

There was a needle in the back of his hand, a tube connected to a bag of fluid hanging from a pole above the bed. A heart monitor was attached by wires to his chest, the sound muted. He tentatively brought his hands into fists, flexing and straightening his fingers a couple of times, testing his strength and biting his lip against the pain, then he carefully but quickly pulled the sticky pads from his chest. He turned his attention to the IV, slid the needle free, pressing on the tiny wound for a few seconds until the blood stopped beading. He didn't want to leave even the faintest trail for a transgenic guard to follow.

Then it was time to try to get up. He knew it was going to hurt like hell, but he clenched his jaw against any sound that could give him away. He eased his weight sideways a little and worked to lever himself up on his arm. The pain skewered through him, his ribs, elbow and shoulder joints all protesting strenuously against what he was asking of them. He fought through it, until he was sitting upright, putting all his energy into keeping from vomiting and passing out as the room spun crazily around him, the bed underneath him suddenly as unsteady as a dinghy in a storm tossed sea. He closed his eyes and breathed shallowly and steadily, bringing his body gradually back under control.

He pushed the blanket off his legs and saw that he was only wearing boxer shorts. He'd need to do something about that. He looked around and saw some scrubs lying on a shelf fixed to the wall in front of him. He held his breath as he moved his legs and hung them over the edge, then slid forward, praying that they'd take his weight. As his feet touched ground and he forced himself upright the room in front of him went dark as his vision failed him and he tasted blood as his teeth cut into his lower lip to keep him from screaming. He clutched the edge of the bed, the pain in his hands and wrists only bearable because the agony of his broken feet and thigh was so overwhelming.

For a minute he actually couldn't think about anything but forcing himself to breathe and stay upright, knowing that if he went down he wouldn't be getting back up. He reached deep inside, reluctantly grateful for the endurance he'd learned from the pitiless teachings of Manticore. He demanded of himself that he stay conscious, pushing the pain out of his mind, knowing it was still there, but understanding that it was less important than the mission.

He let go of the bed and compelled his body to obey. Each step was excruciating, those that put pressure the slowly healing thigh bone even more so, but he made it to the shelf, made it into the scrubs. He looked around for a weapon, anything he could use to do some damage when he inevitably encountered resistance. There wasn't much. Even if the IV pole might be useful as a crutch, it would be too unwieldy as a weapon, would just throw him off balance. He settled on a metal dish; it wasn't as heavy as he'd have liked, but it had a narrow edge that could cause some pain.

He cautiously moved to the door way. The door was ajar and he checked the corridor. There was nobody in sight, but he waited for a moment before he committed himself, knowing how fast it could all go wrong. He knew he wasn't up to much of a fight; he was already struggling to keep his panting breaths under control, keep from sinking to the ground, his energy already dwindling.

His hope was to get to a phone, to call Max so that she could trace the line and come for him. Even if she'd forgotten about him, written him off as dead and gone, or hopelessly compromised, if she knew for sure he was alive he trusted she'd come for him, even if only to attempt to mitigate trouble for the others.

He edged out of the room. It was at the end of a corridor, leaving him only one avenue of escape. He leaned against the wall as he limped his way forward. He was sweating and nauseated, god he hoped he wouldn't have to go far. He made it to the next room, cautiously checking it out. In the bed was a woman lying on her side facing away from him so that he couldn't see her face. For a moment he considered making contact, but there was no way to guarantee she'd be a friendly so he decided he'd just tell Max there might be more than one prisoner in need of her help. The room was pretty spartan; he could tell at first glance there was no phone. He ducked back out and continued down the corridor. The next room was locked, and he didn't have his paperclip so there was no way to get in there.

He kept moving, couldn't stop to rest: he knew it would be too hard to start again. He could see that the door to the next room was open and he froze as he heard voices. What could he do? Go back or go forward? He couldn't let all this effort be for nothing, so he risked going forward, holding his breath, moving silently until he got to the doorway. Very carefully he peered around the edge of the door, checking the position of the room's occupants. There were three people in the room, all facing away from him. He didn't dare breathe again until he was past the doorway.

He was exhausted, leaning against the wall more heavily with each shuffling, agonising step. He knew he couldn't go much further. If there wasn't a phone in the next room or the one after that, he'd have to go back and hope for another opportunity; hope he had some time to build his strength a little more before they started up the torture again. He couldn't risk being caught. If they restrained him again, or if they shot him again, he knew he'd never get out.

"Oh my god, Alec?"

He recognised the voice, but it couldn't be true. They'd caught him, but he was hallucinating again, he must be, his mind conjuring the one thing that could comfort him in his bitter disappointment. He turned, determined to face his fate like a soldier, and there she was in front of him. Max. She came towards him, a hand reaching for him.

"It's OK Alec, you're safe. You're home."

He couldn't comprehend it, it wasn't real. His chest tightened and it was all he could do to hold back a sob. If this was a trick... He knew he couldn't let them use him as a weapon against Max, he couldn't talk, he couldn't trust his own senses, but god, she looked like Max, she smelled like Max. Her hand stroked his face and it felt so much like Max it broke his heart. His strength was gone, he couldn't fight. If it wasn't her, he would just lie down and die right here.

###

The confusion and suspicion in his eyes broke her heart. He still didn't know where he was. He didn't trust that she was real, couldn't believe her words. And god, he looked so pale, so fragile. He was _so_ fragile, yet he'd overcome the pain of his injuries to try to escape again.

She kicked herself for leaving his side. He should have woken to her soothing him with a hand to his face. No Manticore file, no stupid cure was more important than that. She reached out tentatively and touched his cheek and her heart leaped at the hope in his eyes.

She saw his strength waning, knew it was will alone keeping him on his feet. As his legs buckled she reached for him, caught him before he hit the ground, easing his head into her lap, one hand on his clammy forehead, the other over his racing heart.

Mole and Ralph were beside them, but she gestured them away with a look and they stepped back just a little, enough not to crowd Alec.

She looked back at him and he was staring up at her, struggling to stay conscious, and she wished she knew how to reassure him. She couldn't keep the tears out of her eyes and all she could think to do was to repeat what she'd already said, "It's OK. You're safe Alec. You're home." He blinked slowly, forcing his eyes open after a couple of seconds, and she spoke softly, "You're safe, Alec. I'm here. I'm not going to let anyone hurt you again." He returned her small smile and this time when his eyes closed, his body relaxed in sleep or unconsciousness and, god, she hoped that meant he believed her.

###

They got him back to bed without waking him, and this time Max knew she wouldn't leave him even if TC was rocked to its foundations by an earthquake or a full air strike. In fact if that happened, the others would just have to look after themselves because Alec had suffered enough and this time she'd be busy using _her_ body to protect _him_.

###

He'll be fine, Max, he's a transgenic."

Logan had shown up having heard the news through the grapevine. She could see he was working to keep his anger from showing that she hadn't been the one to call him, that it had been two days before anyone had thought to tell him anything, and she was working to keep her anger from showing that he'd clearly come to TC not because Alec had been found, but because the cure to the virus had.

Max knew that Jin was close to being ready to administer the cure and when it came to mind she still had mixed feelings about it, but what surprised her was how little it came to mind. She had honestly been taken aback when Cam had tapped on the door and told her Logan was there.

Alec had dropped off again about ten minutes before, so she figured she had no real excuse not to go out and talk to Logan, since his pattern was to sleep for about two hours before snapping abruptly awake and seeking eye contact with her before falling asleep again a few minutes later. He still hadn't spoken, but she was pretty sure he was having nightmares, and given what he'd been through they'd be horrific. Still, it didn't surprise her that someone as controlled and self-possessed as Alec could keep his nightmares from manifesting in restless movement, sweating and screaming back to wakefulness.

Cam cleared his throat and she realised she'd gone back to staring at Alec, forgetting that Logan was waiting for her. She was grateful that Cam hadn't just let Logan in. He knew she'd been protective of Alec, not wanting anyone but his closest friends to see him so sick and vulnerable. For reasons she didn't want to delve into too deeply, that went double for Logan.

She touched Alec's hand gently and then forced herself to break contact and met Cam at the door. Cam nodded, and strode away and she stood leaning against the frame, keeping the door ajar behind her so she could hear if Alec needed her, but still shield him from Logan's sightline.

She jolted at Logan's words, knowing he'd been told how bad Alec's condition had been when they'd found him. Max was more than a little shocked that Logan seemed to find it so easy to minimise what had been done to Alec.

"He had a seizure and stopped breathing. He's not fine Logan. They tortured him for four months."

"Yeah, but he's getting treatment now. He'll recover, you guys always do. Max, please, I haven't seen you. We need to talk. We need to talk about the cure. And I need to know why you didn't tell me about it. Why I only found out because I called in and asked what was going on."

"Not now, Logan. I'm with Alec now."

"What happened, Max, you suddenly forget all the trouble he's caused? All the trouble he got you into?" The days without seeing or hearing from Max had been miserable. He'd felt shut out and he knew he sounded jealous and petulant but he couldn't help it. He wanted Max's attention, and he was put out at having to pry her away from Alec of all people to get it.

"You forget why he's in this state? He got himself taken for us. We owe him. I need to be here, Logan, why don't you get that? I need for him to be ok."

"And like I said, he will be. He just needs a little rest."

"They drugged him so that he wouldn't be able to sleep, they injected him with stuff that would make him more sensitive to pain and then they beat him. They cut him and burned him and invaded his mind with drugs and tele-coercion and had their lasers burning their evil through his eyes straight into his brain. They starved him Logan. They kept him weak from lack of food and water, from blood loss and hypothermia." Her voice almost broke; she still couldn't get over what the results of the tests had revealed of how much Alec had suffered.

"All that stopped his natural healing abilities. He's not healing any faster or better than any ordinary would right now. I hope he'll heal OK, but he's not indestructible Logan, none of us is.

"And it's not just the physical injuries. They tortured him, Logan, they strapped him down and beat him. For months. You don't just get over that with a few days' bed rest. He needs his family right now, not just a doctor. He let himself be taken for me, and I'm sure as hell not going to let him go through this alone.

"Not to mention I got a camp full of antsy transgenics to keep alive. Any time I'm not here I'm gonna have to be there, with them. I can't be there for you right now. I can't do everything, Logan."

He hated how she kept using his name. Each time she used it he felt more distance between them. And he knew he was being unfair. She was right, Alec had saved them, he had sacrificed himself to do it, but didn't that just burn? Logan hated owing Alec of all people. The guy bugged him for fun, mocked his mission, his feelings for Max. He had the audacity to tease them about the emotional fall-out of the virus he'd helped Manticore deliver.

Alec didn't take anything seriously and yet suddenly he was going all noble saviour? Logan had his suspicions why that might be and he sure as hell wasn't happy about them. Max. Alec clearly had a thing for Max, and what with the way she'd asked him to pose as her boyfriend to put Logan off, Alec obviously felt they had some sort of alliance against him. Well, if Alec wanted a fight, he'd give it to him.

Not a physical one, obviously, because kicking the guy when he was down wouldn't endear him much to Max, and waiting until he was up again would be like trying to beat up a brick wall, but he was not stepping aside. Not for anything. He'd put in the ground work with Max for years now. He'd tiptoed around, tried not to scare her off, kept her close when she was tempted to cut her losses, or convinced herself she needed to leave for his own good. He was invested like Alec couldn't begin to imagine. But Max wasn't done.

"Logan, you didn't see him. You didn't see what they did to him." Her voice had dropped, subdued at the memory of what they'd seen in that lab. She still saw it every time she closed her eyes. She felt scraped out inside by just the thought of it, so god knew how Alec had felt, living it, day after day, not knowing if it would ever end, and after four months with no rescue, expecting that if it did end, it could only do so with death. She covered her mouth as a sob escaped without warning. She was so horrified, so enraged, and yet so impotent. She didn't know what to do with herself. It was visceral, and she didn't think she could ever make Logan understand what it had done to them all, not just Alec.

Logan had his sense of social justice, his principles and his desire to make the world better, and at the start she'd felt inspired by his commitment and drive, but now it all looked like middle class hand wringing; academic, bloodless and without passion.

She saw the suffering Alec was enduring, that all of them were and she didn't want to make the world better anymore, she wanted to rip it apart. To destroy it for its cowardice, its cruelty and hypocrisy. She wanted to make everyone hurt like they did.

She knew she was being unfair to Logan. He didn't have to do what he did, didn't have to be Eyes Only; he could've just enjoyed the trust fund and ignored the fate of the world, and it wasn't like he hadn't sacrificed; he'd ended up in a wheel chair and still hadn't given up. And in a sense, that made him better than them. He'd made a choice to fight for justice when he didn't need it for himself; they'd been backed into a corner. But that was the problem when you boiled it down. Just as he'd chosen to fight, he could choose to stop whenever he liked, but they had no choice, it was fight or die and that gulf was one they could never bridge. Logan could never really understand.

Logan took a step towards her, wanting to offer comfort through proximity, even if he couldn't make contact. It always shocked him to see Max so visibly upset. "Max, I..." he didn't know what to say and as he spoke, she was drawing herself away from him, bringing her emotions under control, straightening her back, lifting her chin, dropping her hands to her sides.

"I just need you to give us some space right now Logan, OK. I'm sorry, I know it's not fair to you, but this whole thing, it's thrown all of us for a loop, you know. I need to focus on keeping the family together, and we all need to help Alec get back on his feet."

There wasn't any way for him to argue with that, without coming off a jerk, and that in itself would scupper his cause. But something about the way she was talking, something in her body language was tapping into the worst parts of him, uncovering buried suspicions and jealousy, resentment. Traits he didn't like to see in himself, feelings he needed to have a tangible reason for. Alec was the reason. Alec wasn't some selfless guy, he never had been.

He couldn't let Max just trust Alec without question. Even if he had done a noble thing in giving himself up to protect them, it didn't mean he'd stayed noble. Sure, Alec hadn't been in Buenos Aires like he'd suspected, but that didn't mean he'd been loyal to Max. And then Max had mentioned tele-coercion in the mix. He remembered how easily Mia had led them all by the nose. Alec hadn't resisted her then, how could Max believe he'd resisted this time? Maybe they'd just roughed him up a little to make it look good and now he was playing on her sympathy and guilt.

"Max, you need to be careful. He might not be what you think."

"What are you talking about?"

"You said they used tele-coercion. How do you know it's safe to even have him here? Maybe he should be locked up."

"Don't even say that to me." Max found her hands had curled to fists without any conscious decision and her voice came out flat with anger.

"I'm serious. I don't want to hurt you Max, but I don't want him to either. What if he told them-"

"He didn't break!"

"How can you be sure?"

"I'm sure."

"Come on, we've got to be honest about him. You've got to admit, he can be pretty self-serving. I mean, this is Alec."

"Yeah, this _is_ Alec!" She shut him down then and there. She knew where his scepticism came from: their history, the jealous rivalry, but she couldn't take this from Logan, of all people. The one guy who owed Alec the most, and who really didn't fully understand what he had been through, was going through for them still. She couldn't bear that look in his face; sympathetic and condescending to her. And disbelieving of Alec.

"If he'd broken, they would have killed him."

Logan didn't buy it. He suspected Max wasn't going to accept it from him but he still thought something was off. Alec was slippery. He'd wanted in with Max, or had appeared to, but what if this was actually about Alec wanting a way out of the privations and restrictions of TC? What if he'd made a deal for himself and was planning to betray Max?

"He's a hero." She said it quietly, almost too quietly for him to hear, as though she wasn't sure she wanted him to hear a thought so precious to her.

Logan couldn't hold it in anymore, he opened his mouth and the words just tumbled out, every suspicion, every uncharitable thought. He knew he'd gone too far. The look on her face went from imploring him to believe like she did, to stony. Implacable.

"You think he went through all this just to betray us?" She kept her voice low so as not to disturb Alec's sleep, but that did nothing to minimise the strength of her feelings.

He hated that he'd put that look on her face, that tone in her voice, but he couldn't stop now, he had to see it through. He wouldn't forgive himself for not warning her if his fears turned out to be well-founded. He was about to drill his point home, to remind her that Alec had almost killed her and Joshua to secure his own freedom once, when she turned a little and stepped back and he realised she'd been guarding the door, standing between Alec and the world, between Alec and him. _Protecting_ Alec from him.

Max hesitated, as though not sure she wanted to permit him the intrusion, then she pushed the door open and let him see inside. It would be fair to say he was taken aback, shocked even. He didn't know what to say. It would be foolish to try to continue to suggest that it was just a cosmetic bruising. The guy was a mess, and obviously he wasn't going to bounce back right away. Logan couldn't help but be a little chagrined at his misjudgement. Still, it didn't mean he was wrong about everything, though it was clear to him it wouldn't do him any good to keep pushing right now.

The meanest, littlest part of him was annoyed that Alec had won this round just lying there sleeping.

Max allowed only a moment before she pulled the door back to her, leaving a small gap that she clearly couldn't bear to close, but making sure that she replaced the barrier between him and Alec, excluding him again.

"You don't ever talk about Alec like that again."

There was a moment of silence between them. Max wouldn't look away from his eyes and he was pierced by what he saw there, the evidence that her attention, her heart was in that room with Alec, and that all she really wanted from him was for him to be gone.

He dropped his eyes first, "Ok, Max, whatever you need. Just know I'm here when you need me."

He couldn't even ask her to call when the cure was ready; just had to trust that she would. He had no choice but to bide his time. She nodded and they both turned at the same time, Logan to return to an empty house, and Max back to Alec.

###

Hours and hours later, Max was still trying to come down from her encounter with Logan, and she'd been trying her hardest not to let her lack of composure show to Alec. She wanted to be calm, a comforting presence. He was sleeping again now, but even so, she didn't want to be giving off stressed vibes that he might sense, that might make his nightmares worse. It was tough though, when every thought brought her back to Logan's smug condescension, his conviction that he knew better than she did, when he didn't have a clue about Alec anymore: who he was, what he'd been through. She realised she was grinding her teeth and consciously forced herself to stop.

She welcomed the distraction when Cam came in and carried out the usual checks: blood pressure, pulse and breathing rates.

Later Mole and Ralph came in, Ralph holding a file and Mole with a box full of more files in one hand and a laptop in the other.

"We sorted out the stuff you're gonna want to look at first," Mole explained, looking down at the box in his arms.

Ralph cleared her throat, "We found this one about Alec," she held the folder out to Max. "It's got his old Manticore number on it. 494," she added.

Max reached for the folder, nervously, as though it might somehow be dangerous, might hurt her. "What's in it?"

"We didn't look. Thought you and the medics might need to see, but it's none of our business."

"Good. Thanks Ralph." She held it close, feeling suddenly protective of the secrets within, not sure even she should read it.

"How's he doing?" Ralph looked at Alec, sympathy and concern at his still visible injuries obvious in her expression.

"He's... I don't know really. He's still with us." Max wanted to be more positive, but she was still so scared for him. He was still in so much pain; he still hadn't said a word.

"The others want to know. I keep getting asked when he can have visitors. What should I tell them?" Ralph's sensitivity was one of the things Max most valued. Ralph knew that the others just wanted to know Alec was fine, and knew Max was freaking out because he wasn't, knew there would be some sort of compromise she could give that would keep the others informed without freaking them out too, or being a lie. "What if I tell them he's healing up but he still needs a lot of sleep?"

"I think that'd be ok."

They left her then, and she slumped back in the chair, almost too exhausted herself to look at the files. She still held Alec's file, still conflicted about knowing its contents, or allowing anyone else to see them. She wished she could ask Alec what he wanted to do. The responsibility of caring for him was especially heavy when she thought about how much more that meant than just caring for his physical condition. What they'd done to him went so much deeper than just the cuts and bruises that still stood out raw and painful looking against his pale skin.

She bottled out for the moment, deferring the decision by laying the folder carefully on the side table, reaching into the box and popping open the laptop.

It was a lot to take in. They had the goods on Manticore, that was for sure. Electronic records going back to the start. Robert Corrigan had been a part of it since the early days, had his own records as well as handwritten notebooks scanned onto an encrypted personal drive. Notebooks she was pretty sure had been written by Sandeman. It would have been beyond Renfro's capabilities to even find the drive, let alone access the files. But Max had some of the best hackers in the world on her payroll.

She had the history of their lives laid out right in front of her. She had evidence of the methods used to train and brainwash transgenics, evidence of what they'd been forced to do. Evidence of the punishments meted out when they'd failed to fulfil a mission.

By accident she'd come across evidence of what Alec had meant all those months ago when he'd told her "they had ways of making you not care." She hadn't realised she'd been reading about Alec, he'd been referred to as 'the subject', but then the name Berrisford had jumped out at her and she felt sick that she'd intruded on his memories. She'd stopped reading as soon as she'd realised. She wanted to know, but only if Alec wanted to tell her.

She read more carefully from then on, conscious that everything she was reading could be the cold hard facts that haunted the worst nightmares of one of her friends or comrades.

She called Ralph and Mole back to talk through what to do next. They'd need to sort out what could be released to the public, information that would help their cause, allow people to understand who they were and what they'd been through, but she didn't want anything that would hurt one of her people in the public domain.

And she had a dilemma. She needed the edited information disseminated by a credible outlet. She knew who she needed, and boy would she feel like a bitch asking Logan for a favour after their last conversation. Not to mention she really didn't want to have to ask for that favour when she was still so pissed off with him, and rightly so as far as she was concerned. It was a crappy situation. But this was bigger than the ongoing dramas of Logan and Max. She knew it wasn't really a dilemma, she owed it to her people to deal what she hoped would be the killing blow to Manticore, and Logan owed it to the truth and justice he worshipped. It would suck to ask though. Just suck.

They worked on the files until they had what they were confident was specific enough to create a credible and sympathetic narrative, but general enough that nobody's personal horror would be rubbed in their face on the 24 hour rolling news cycle.

And all the while, Alec's file was on that side table, beckoning from her peripheral vision.

"Ok guys, I think we're done for now. I'm gonna call Logan tomorrow, see if he can get Eyes Only to run this for us."

###

Ralph and Mole were gone, and Max was left with only a sleeping Alec and the file for company. She touched the cover, imagining it burning her fingertips. She drew her hand back, but couldn't look away. Alec shifted a little in his sleep and sighed, drawing her attention for a moment, but then he stilled and she found her eyes drawn back.

She really didn't want to invade his privacy but she was genuinely uncertain what to do. If she read the file it might help her to understand what he'd been through, might help her to help him. On the other hand if he knew that she knew it might feel like a violation, a betrayal. She knew she sucked at hiding what she was feeling, so it was no good to kid herself that he wouldn't find out, and she didn't want to lie like that anyway; if she read it, she would have to tell him she had.

It wasn't like this was about morbid curiosity; the largest part of her really didn't want to read about such cruelty in clinical black and white language. It really was only about understanding the best way to help him.

She picked up the file and flipped it to the first page, and gasped in horror at what she saw, a colour photograph of Alec hanging by his wrists from cuffs on a chain bolted to the ceiling. His head hung forward limply, his torso was black and blue from bruising and blood from numerous messy gashes dripped all the way down his body, collecting in a pool on the floor. She could see from the angle that his shoulder was dislocated. He wasn't thin like he was now, so she knew this was early in his captivity.

She closed her eyes and swallowed, nauseated, turning the page and opening her eyes again. The next page was a typed report, the opening paragraph detailing their ambush and the first hours of his ordeal. Hours when she had been chasing her tail desperately following clues that led nowhere.

The door opened suddenly and she jumped, guiltily snapping the report closed.

"You all right? You look like you saw a ghost," Jin observed.

She couldn't speak for a moment, then, her decision made, she held out the file to the medic. "Alec's file from Manticore. It's pretty awful reading, but it might help you with treating him. I don't want to know anything I don't need to. Not until he wants to tell me himself."

He nodded grimly, taking the file from her hand.

"I know you guys take patient confidentiality seriously, but this stuff?" She paused, not quite sure what to say.

"I'll go through it with Cam and Callie, then we're locking it away. No one else will see it, I swear."

###

Now the exhaustion was a little less he could stay awake longer than a couple of minutes at a time, but he still felt so lethargic and the pain would come and go in waves, depending on how close he was to the next hit of morphine. And Alec still didn't totally trust his freedom. The nightmares were a continuation of his incarceration, the torture no less realistic for being dreamed up by his unconscious. His periods of wakefulness were welcome release from the fear and horror, if not the pain, but they seemed unrealistic somehow, and transient.

Max was always there when he woke up, and Joshua was around a lot too; would just be sitting there with a sketch pad or a book. Often he'd see Mole, just sitting at the edge of the room. Mole was pretty inscrutable at the best of times and he'd been fairly unwelcoming whenever Alec had dropped by, trying to offer company and support after that time his team got ambushed at the docks. Alec was pretty surprised to see him there at all. Maybe he was there because they thought once he was stronger he'd be a danger. They'd have to put him down, but Max and Joshua were too soft to do it. He wouldn't wish that on Max anyway, not after she'd had to take out Ben already. Mole would be tough enough to handle it.

Whatever reason they had for being there so much, he was grateful. Whenever he'd wake up from a nightmare there wasn't much to choose between the Manticore lab in his dream and the room in TC's medical centre. Weak as he was, he couldn't help feeling vulnerable and he found himself clinging to anything familiar like driftwood in a wide open sea.

Then there was the continued lack of reliance on the truth of Max and the others. What if this _was_ just a trick? What if he still really was there in Manticore, and this was just the next campaign in the battle of wills. They'd tried brute force and now they were trying sneakiness, swapping a slip through the back door for a battering ram to the front. He still feared that the moment he allowed himself to speak would be the moment he betrayed everything he loved, everything he had used his body, his mind and every ounce of will he had as weapons to protect these past months.

Alec could see Max was waiting for him to say something, or she wanted to say something to him. She looked on edge. He'd got so used to not talking it was almost second nature, like filling the silence with whatever came into his head had been instinctive before. What could he say? There was too much going on in his head to even separate his thoughts and feelings into coherent sentences.

Then he saw that Max was fighting for self control; she'd wiped away tears, but he could smell the saltwater and he didn't think Manticore could swing that level of detail in a hallucination even on its best day. He couldn't help himself,

"Maxie? You ok?" His voice was barely there, a hoarse whisper that set him coughing, muscles clenching as a million aches and pains stabbed at him from his head to his ribs to his leg to the frigging hairs all over his body.

She put one hand on his chest, the other behind his neck and offered silent support even as more tears welled up and rolled down her cheeks.

The cough subsided and he melted into his pillow, exhausted, but she hadn't given an answer and he looked at her, trying to convey the question without more words that could send him into another coughing jag that he thought might set off some very unmanly crying or fainting.

"I'm fine, I just... Alec, I'm..." she took the hand from behind his neck and wiped away the tears, forcing a half smile that just pierced his heart. She dropped the hand to the bed and curled it into his and he squeezed a little, as much has he could without spiking the throbbing ache into agony.

_He_ was asking if _she_ was OK? "I'm just glad you're back." She finished, sniffing to bring herself back under control; this wasn't the time to talk about what she'd seen in that file. He wasn't ready, and she knew she sure as hell wasn't.

###

Cam and Jin had been coming in to check on Alec every couple of hours, but Callie was keeping away. She'd kept herself busy with Sunny for the first night and then with looking after the anxious new parents and parents-to-be, but Max often saw her catching up with Cam and Jin, looking out for Alec from a distance.

After the first twenty-four hours they had assured Max that Alec was out of immediate danger. The transgenic blood transfusion had really helped; he still wasn't healing as fast as he should be because he was so malnourished, but he was at least clearing the traces of drugs from his system and they weren't so worried about his breathing or the possibility of another seizure. The sleep was helping too, as were the IV fluids and pain killers.

They'd wanted to let him rest and just have some peace and quiet for a bit, and when he was more alert, they'd get him eating again. That would start making the difference. It would take a while for him to build up his strength and bulk, but they hoped he'd start to feel a little better fairly soon.

Physically at least.

He hadn't spoken since those three words that had filled her with sorrow, pride and euphoria and now felt like false hope, or maybe a dream.

"Can you send Joshua to come get me when he wakes up?"

"What's going on?"

"We think he's strong enough to try some real food, not just the IV. I'll bring something in when he's up."

Max nodded. She knew it was irrational, but every hour that went by without him eating, she was convinced he looked thinner. To see someone starving to death up close was a heartbreaking thing. When it was someone she loved... it wasn't something she could put into words. She willed him to wake up, to take that next step down the road to recovery.

###

Max thought he'd be ravenous, but he didn't seem as enthusiastic as she'd expected about the food in front of him. It wasn't anything much, just some oatmeal, but he only managed a couple of mouthfuls before he put the spoon down. She wished he'd say something, let her know what he was thinking. She wanted to encourage him to eat some more but she found herself uncertain as to whether or not she should. She wasn't used to feeling so hesitant, usually she'd just bulldoze her way through, but she didn't want to do the wrong thing and make things worse.

###

"We were talking earlier about how it might be good for him to go home and rest up there. Now he's staying awake a little longer each time." Cam noted down the latest readings as he spoke.

"You think he's well enough for that?" Max was unconvinced. He still looked so sick.

"We're close enough for house calls. We'll come by and monitor him, set him up with the IV fluids and pain relief at home. It just seems like he might be more comfortable in a real bed, he might feel more secure back in his own place, you know? This place, it might not be state of the art but it's still kind of clinical. Maybe a little too much like where he's been."

Max hadn't thought about it like that; she'd just been so glad he was being taken care of so diligently. TC's medics might not be fully qualified yet, but what they lacked in academic training, they more than made up for in commitment and compassion. Now she _was_ thinking about it though, she wanted to get him the hell out of there immediately.

"It's just he'll need a lot of help at first. He's gonna find it tough walking for a while, best he doesn't put too much weight on his feet, and that femoral break? They fixed it enough he wouldn't die from it, but they didn't exactly put any care into it... So... I know you've been here the whole time so far, but if you need to start doing other stuff..."

"Mole can cope. I'm gonna be with Alec as long as he needs me. Joshua too. We'll make sure he's looked after."

###

The images and sounds of his nightmares were so vivid that in the instant transition from sleep to wakefulness the silence echoed, deafening him, and the peacefulness of the room felt like a lie. Each time though, he'd cut his eyes to the side and there Max would be, grounding him with her smile and her touch or just the sight of her relaxed in sleep.

It was light in the room. He didn't have a clue what time it was, what day it was, how long he'd been gone or how long he'd been back. All that mattered was that when he woke, Max was there.

"Hey, you're up," she spoke gently, and matched her tone with a stroke of her hand on his. "So, the docs think you're sick of them. You wanna go home?" She didn't expect him to answer, instead gesturing behind her, and he realised Joshua was there too. "We've got a truck outside. We can get you back to your own place."

###

Max had kind of wanted to take him out of medical while he was sleeping, ideally sedated a little, so he wouldn't have to suffer any additional pain, but it wouldn't help with the disorientation to just wake up somewhere new, even if it was home.

She'd also considered asking everyone to stay away when they left, but that would be drawing attention to his state, and she wasn't sure he'd appreciate having his vulnerability telegraphed like that. In any case, just because word had got around didn't mean anyone would show up, did it?

They'd let him walk out to the truck, he'd leaned heavily on Joshua and Max had been close on his other side, Mole hovering half a step behind, but he'd made it under his own steam. She figured that would be good for his dignity; allow him to feel he'd regained some measure of control. Still, it hurt her to see his painful, limping steps, and to see that he was biting his lip against the pain. Those yards of corridor had never felt so long.

They made it to the door and her heart sank. Everyone was there, crowded round the entrance and surrounding the truck.

She heard his intake of breath, felt him stiffen more than he already was, and she wanted to step in front of him and protect him from the stares.

The crowd saw him and fell quiet. No one moved, shocked at how changed he was.

He kept his head up, and she heard his deliberate release of breath and felt the effort it took to appear relaxed.

Dalton and Luke had staked a spot at the front of the crowd, and Alec made eye contact with them, nodded a greeting. Dalton stepped forward and reached out a hand, "It's great to have you back, man!"

Alec took the proffered hand and tried hard not to wince as the kid squeezed affectionately, not knowing his own strength.

"Thanks man," Alec answered, his voice a gravelly whisper, still barely recognisable to his own ears.

"You doing ok?" Luke asked, nudging Dalton aside so he could take his turn shaking Alec's hand.

"I'm all right."

Max tried not to feel jealous that Alec had said more to Dalton and Luke in two minutes than he'd managed in days for her.

"Max is taking care of me." At his words, her jealousy evaporated as quickly as it had formed, and she smiled self-consciously at him when he glanced to her before looking back at the crowd. He cleared his throat. She was sure she was the only one who heard the nervous gesture, and she put a gentle hand on the small of his back to steady him, tears pricking her eyes as he spoke.

"Thanks guys...for coming for me..."

She felt him shaking with the effort of staying upright and dealing with so many people after so long. Mole obviously sensed Alec was hitting his limit, or he had other things to do, because he sidestepped her, raising his hands and announced to the throng, "OK, show's over! Give us some space here!" She was grateful for his brusque manner, not making a big deal of it.

The crowd dispersed reluctantly and they got to the truck with Alec leaning just a touch more heavily on Joshua and Max.

Alec seemed to melt into the backseat next to Max, and immediately rested his head back, eyes closed. She edged closer so their shoulders were touching.

"You did real good Alec. Everyone's been so worried about you. They just wanted to see you back safe."

He rolled his head towards her and opened his eyes. She could see his exhaustion. She reached for his left hand, not the one Dalton and Luke had squeezed, and he curled his fingers gently into hers.

###

"Kid's got some heart, that's for damn certain," Mole commented admiringly.

Alec had managed somehow to get up the stairs to his second floor digs before collapsing fully clothed on the bed. He hadn't stirred as Max unlaced and slipped off his boots, or as Jin set up the IV while Cam checked him over. They considered manoeuvring him out of his shirt and pants, but they didn't have the heart to disturb him, so Max just covered him with a fleece blanket.

She was leaning in the doorway to his room now and just nodded at Mole. She felt totally exhausted herself.

"Alec very strong today." Max glanced at Joshua who was slumped into an easy chair in the living room. He looked as drained as she felt.

"Yeah, Big Fella. That was something all right."

"Alec be OK now, right?"

"Might need to have some patience there, Dog Boy," Mole growled. "That performance was for the troops."

Joshua nodded, "Good sign though. No performance last couple of days."

Mole shrugged, non-committal. He'd seen some pretty rough treatment in his time, doled out to him and to his fellow transhumans. He'd seen comrades break under the pressure of trying to act OK so Manticore wouldn't have a reason to put them down. He didn't want Alec to end up like that. He just knew he wasn't going to be asking any more of Alec than Alec had of him after his heist gone wrong.

###

Alec stared at the ceiling, blinking. Everything felt unreal, like a dream he couldn't shake off. He couldn't get used to the quiet – not silence, like when they'd cut him off from everything: light, sound, time – but quiet: the clock on the dresser ticking; Joshua clattering crockery and humming in the room next door; occasional footsteps and snippets of conversation drifting up from the street outside; and next to him, Max breathing, her clothes swishing together as she moved her hand to turn the pages of whatever it was she was reading. Just every day, soothing background sounds. He tried to feel soothed, but he still couldn't shake the feeling that it was all going to melt away and he'd realise it was another sick Psy Ops mind trick, trying to lull him so he'd relax and give up the goods.

He guessed it didn't help that he hadn't been awake for the rescue. Losing consciousness in captivity and waking to freedom had been disorientating. Maybe he'd feel like this anyway. That was Psy Ops' speciality after all: making the lessons stick. And the lesson here? That it was never over. They'd never be safe or free, never equal or respected, human. Animals, lab rats: no rights, not even any identity outside what they gave each other.

He hadn't realised how much he'd become "Alec" until they tried to turn him back into "494". He found himself desperate to hear his name spoken, especially by Max who'd given it to him in the first place. Each time she said it, he felt he'd got a tiny sliver of himself back, but it was bittersweet, because in the couple of days he'd been aware enough to experience them, her attention, kindness and gentleness were attacking his walls way more effectively than his captors had managed in all the time they'd had him.

He heard Max shift in her seat, lay her papers on the floor and then her hand was on his forearm, her thumb stroking his wrist lightly.

"Alec? Can you hear me?" She was asking even though his eyes were open, so he guessed he must have been pretty out of it when they first got him back, not responding although he appeared to be conscious.

"Alec?" Oh, he hadn't answered. He tried to get his mouth and brain to link up, but it was still weird, he was still trying to convince himself it was safe to talk. He gave up, just rolled his head towards her to indicate that he'd heard.

She smiled at him. That was weird too. Max was supposed to yell at him, call him a screw-up, punch him in the arm, roll her eyes and then save him.

Well, she'd done the last part, but it was the lack of the initial stages that had him so off kilter.

"Hey Alec. You are with me. Time for some lunch. I'm gonna see what Joshua's got cooking for us." She squeezed his arm gently before breaking contact and leaving the room. She always moved quietly, the cat in her making her graceful and light of foot, so he didn't know why it felt like she was making a special effort not to disturb the quiet. He was sure she was, though. God, it must be so obvious how broken he was. As much as he'd tried over the last year or so to soften her up to him, he would almost prefer the old Max, sarcastic and disdainful, busting his chops – often literally – not this Max, worried that he'd shatter at the slightest sound.

He must've dropped off again, because when he opened his eyes, Max and Joshua were both sitting by him, plates on their laps. Maybe Max had warned Joshua, or maybe it was his sensitive nature, but his usually noisy, messy, exuberant manner seemed subdued. He didn't want them on their best behaviour, but damned if he knew how to call them on it.

He went to push himself upright, but before he'd got his hands under him, both Max and Joshua had a hand on him, helping him to sit back against the headboard. Then Joshua had a plate on a tray on his lap. He couldn't decide if he was grateful for their attentive care or annoyed at needing it. The ambivalence really didn't help with the trying to talk. He knew he should say thank you. Joshua was looking at him expectantly, and that alone made him feel weak with exhaustion. He drew on all his reserves and managed a grunt that approximated a thank you, and Joshua's expression couldn't have been happier if Alec had given a speech in his honour.

Eating was hard. When he'd been so hungry he could have chewed off his own arm, he'd imagined feasts, junk food, candy, hell, even mess rations. But now, Joshua had brought him a carefully prepared meal that he thought would tempt him, and the smell of it, the act of putting it in his mouth, of swallowing and feeling it move down into his stomach made him feel overwhelmed and nauseated.

Not to mention, chewing was ridiculously tiring. He knew he needed to eat. He could feel and see how emaciated he'd become, and he knew a lot of the physical weakness was a result of malnutrition, but it was just so hard. He also knew that if he didn't make an effort, they would glance worriedly at each other, before trying to gently encourage him using the reasoning he already knew, agreed with. And that would be even worse, because the pressure to try, to show he was enjoying it, feeling better, appreciating their efforts made his heart pound, made him feel close to hyperventilating.

And it was so ridiculous. He was a soldier for Christ's sake. He'd fought in wars. He'd survived horrors most people couldn't imagine and carried out orders that would break an ordinary soldier. And now he couldn't face a plate of macaroni and mini hotdogs. Maybe they were right. He was broken. He would shatter.

Suddenly he felt cold, sweat breaking out on his upper lip. He knew he was going to start heaving. And he knew he couldn't get the tray off his lap in time, certainly couldn't get out of bed and make it to the bathroom. God, it was humiliating. He started to move, but Max was already there, the tray was gone and she had a hand on his shoulder and a wastepaper basket in his lap.

He was only bringing up bile and it was painful and exhausting, and, yeah, humiliating, but Max was there, stroking his back and whispering soothing phrases. And he felt so ashamed that he needed that.

Finally his stomach settled and he almost collapsed back. He caught Joshua's eye and the look of guilt on his friend's face was crushing. God, Josh though that was his fault?

"Hot dogs no good?" Joshua asked in a small voice.

Alec lifted a shaking hand to his forehead and rubbed his brow, trying to collect himself and soothe the pounding in his head that the retching had exacerbated. He couldn't help it; he looked to Max for help.

"The hot dogs are great, Josh, maybe just a little soon. Why don't we let Alec rest a bit then try something a little less rich later?"

Joshua looked crushed, while trying desperately not to. God, he'd only been trying to help. Alec felt like a jerk for letting him down. And then there were tears welling in his eyes, and he needed Max and Josh gone so he could get his walls back up. I'm all right, I'm always all right. He repeated the mantra silently, willing it to be so.

He closed his eyes and turned his head away a little, trying to pull himself together. He repeated the familiar phrase, repeated it over and over, then Joshua's hand was on his head, comforting and gentle and he knew he was going to lose it. A sob welled up in his throat and he swallowed convulsively, trying to force it back down inside where all his pain stayed hidden, where it belonged.

"_I'm all right, I'm always all right, I'm always all right..."_ He squeezed his eyes tight closed, held his breath. Tried to hold it in, tried to forget about Joshua touching him, Max sitting at his side, tried to forget that they cared about him, that he cared about them, cared what they thought about him.

A tear leaked out, betraying all his hard work, luckily on the side away from Joshua and Max. He didn't move, couldn't wipe it away without it being obvious how close he was to breaking apart. His whole body was tensed. He thought maybe he was going to pass out.

"Alec? Alec, can you hear me?" Max had a hand on each of his arms. "Alec, breathe!" She was shaking him. "Alec, please! Can you hear me? What is it? Are you in pain? Do you need the doctor? Jesus Alec, look at me!" She shook him again, but he just couldn't relax, couldn't open his eyes.

"Josh, get Cam. Now."

He had to stop Joshua. There was nothing wrong with him, for Christ's sake. He just had to pull it together, just needed a little time alone to find his game face, pull it back on.

"Alec? Please, just breathe!" She shook him again, hard, panic in her voice. He must really be in trouble. His head was spinning, he really wasn't breathing. How long had it been? He couldn't figure out how to release the pressure. Then suddenly he was pulled up into a sitting position, and he was in her arms, pulled hard against her chest, her arms around his back, pressing him close.

"Alec, it's ok. It's gonna be ok." And she was repeating it over and over. One of her hands moved to the back of his neck and she squeezed. "It's ok. It's gonna be ok." She shifted a little and held her cheek to his. "You're gonna be ok. You don't have to be ok right now. You don't have to hold it together for me or for Josh, ok? You can be a mess right now. I've got your back. If you're not ready to talk, that's ok. If you can't eat right now, it's ok too. You don't have to convince us you're fine. All you need to do right now is take a breath, ok? Alec? Just breathe, just stay with me, ok? Just take one breath." Then she kissed him full on the lips and he was so surprised he found the air entering his lungs almost of its own volition. He felt Max release a breath, relax a fraction and she squeezed his neck again, gently, "That's it, Alec. You stay with me. Just keep breathing."

It felt wrong, awkward forcing his chest to expand, having to remember how to draw air into lungs, but he focused on that, taking the next breath, then the next. He found he didn't mind her arms around him, even if it hurt his healing ribs. Maybe a little pain was ok, kept him from feeling too overwhelmed by her concern.

His head was clearing and the pounding in his brain receded a little. She kept her arms around him, quiet now, not moving, just holding him tight against her, and finally he was able to start releasing the tension in his muscles. He brought his arms up to her back and returned the pressure.

They sat like that for a long time and gradually his body came back under his control. Breathing began to feel more normal; his muscles relaxed a little more, his heart slowed to match Max's rhythm. Man, he was exhausted! He couldn't find the energy to pull away.

He knew he shouldn't be letting himself rely on Max like this. She was busy, had a campful of transgenics to look out for, not to mention a complicated love life. He shouldn't be laying more pressure on her. And he shouldn't be letting himself get in deeper. He needed to rein in his feelings for Max.

Focusing on her to keep himself sane back in that place had been necessary. He'd needed a focus for his hope, a reason not to break. Loyalty to Max; love for Max had been just reason enough. But it was one sided. Out here there was Logan. And the weight of history. All of his screw ups, all the reasons for Max not to trust him, not to rely on him, not to return his love. What she was doing now, he had to remind himself: it was just pity. Loving her had served its purpose, and obviously it wasn't something he could control, but now he had to go back to relying on himself. Thinking of Max as his friend only; his CO most of all. It just felt so good to be held in her arms. He hadn't felt this comfortable, this 'home' in months. Hell, in his whole life.

###

Max felt the moment Alec relaxed into sleep. For some reason, she still couldn't let him go. His muscles were loose, his hands had slid from her back to rest on the mattress by her hips and his cheek was resting on her shoulder, his soft breaths tickling her neck. He hadn't been this peaceful since they'd found him. Even unconscious, he'd looked pained. She felt awed that he'd trusted her enough to fall asleep in her arms.

She held him a moment longer before she acknowledged the shuffling by the door, signalling to Joshua and Cam that they could come closer. Between them they lowered him back to the pillow, careful not to wake him. Max laid a hand on his forehead briefly before leading the others out of the room. She stopped just outside the doorway, unable to go out of earshot, eyeshot even. She needed to hear him breathe.

Cam kept his voice low, "What happened?"

Max explained, feeling uncomfortable, like she was somehow betraying Alec's confidence in telling any of what had just happened to another person. But Alec needed help. She was out of her depth, and Cam at least had some medical training. She concluded her tale at the point she'd heard them approach; Alec had been rigid in her arms, his heart pounding, not moving, his sole focus trying to keep breathing.

"You saw the rest," she finished, her voice thick with the fear she'd held back when she was trying to reach him, bring him back to her. She'd been convinced for those few minutes that he was going to let himself die.

"Alec will be ok, right? Safe now. Will get better?" Joshua's voice was subdued, desperate for some reassurance. Max could tell he'd been as frightened as she was. She could hear some guilt and some hurt in his voice too. Alec had lost it when Joshua had touched him, laid a hand on his head. He'd caused Alec to freak out like that. Alec didn't want him around. She wasn't sure how to make Joshua feel OK about that. She wasn't sure why Joshua's touch had affected Alec like that, but it seemed clear that it had been the final straw.

Cam was regarding Alec closely. He took a few moments to plan his response. This was delicate. Transgenics didn't see a lot of PTSD. Manticore would have kept any transgenic in such a state out of general population until Psy Ops had wiped them and put them back together. Or put them down.

"Josh, I get this is tough. He's your friend. You don't like seeing him hurt. But this is going to take a while. He needs time and he needs our patience. You can't take it personally. He's not trying to hurt you. He's not pushing you away because he doesn't care. It's just everything is really overwhelming for him right now. Try not to put pressure on him to be OK because it's what you want to see, all right?"

"Alec not angry with Joshua?"

"No, man. Alec's just trying to hold himself together. Probably because he cares what you think of him. I tell you man, sometimes kindness is the toughest thing to deal with when you're in pain. It'll break you apart like nothing else. Trust me, I've been there."

"But Alec needs to eat. Won't get better otherwise."

"I know, but we need to go easy on him. This is like total sensory overload, man. He hasn't eaten the past four months, and barely a couple of mouthfuls since we got him back. It'll feel weird, maybe even scary to try and eat again. He'll get sick trying to eat anything rich. We should get him used to plain food, like rice and oatmeal for a bit, then work up from there. We have to take it slow."

"OK. Slow's OK." Joshua paused. "Alec not talking." Joshua's voice broke on the last word. That was more upsetting that the not eating in many ways. Alec was known for his talking. He loved talking, laughing. He was witty, rude, silly. And always loud. This silence was eerie and really unsettling.

"I know, Josh, but really, we just need to give him time. He's only been back a few days. Only conscious really the last 48 hours." Cam thought about what he'd read in the Manticore file, worked at keeping the anger out of his voice.

"What he's been through...well, we don't even really know yet how it was for him. Just be patient."

"What about what just happened?" Max broke in. She needed to know it wouldn't happen again. That she hadn't got him back only to lose him again. "What should we do about that? Should he be back in the infirmary? Should he be sedated if it happens again?" She hated to think of it, but she'd do anything to keep him safe, to take care of him until he was strong enough to take care of himself.

"No. I think a familiar place is best. And what you did, Max, that was right. Just staying there with him and not pushing, that helped. And he got himself back under control. That's a really good sign. He had a panic attack, which is to be expected, but he got the better of it. He fought back and won. I think he'll be ok. It'll take a while, but I think he'll pull himself through."

Max felt at least a bit of the weight lift from her shoulders. Cam was right. Alec was barely back a few days, barely even conscious most of the time and he'd found the strength to fight off the horrors he'd experienced, was still experiencing. That was awesome. If anyone could get through this, it was Alec. He was the ultimate survivor. She walked back into the room, crossed to the bed and sat beside him again, resting a hand on his forearm, finding comfort in the warmth, even as the thinness of the limb tore at her heart. Alec would be ok. Her boy would never give up.

###

Alec woke up to feel an arm across his waist and soft breaths tickling his neck. Max. She was curled on her side, nestled close to him, fast asleep. It was so close to being his deepest wish that he could barely hold it together. So many times he'd tried to imagine this, Max lying next to him. A Max who loved him, who wanted to be with him always.

This was awful. This was because he'd freaked out and nearly passed out from a panic attack. He didn't want Max here like this, feeling sorry for him because he was such a coward and a fuckup, feeling like she couldn't leave him alone in case he fell apart.

He had to get himself together, show her that he wasn't some charity case, or some loser who'd bleed her dry of energy with his need and his pathetic dependence. She needed to stop wasting her time on him and get back to the others, and he needed to fix himself so he could get back to being the guy he was. Someone who could actually help her, back her up and be a friend to her. To give, not just take.

He just didn't know how to do it.

That thing with the hot dogs was frigging humiliating. What must she think of him? He figured that needed to be the first step. He was going to do better this time. He was going to make himself eat whatever was put in front of him. He'd force himself to keep it down, force himself to get strong again.

And he had to make himself talk. He knew now he was really back in TC. He couldn't hide behind excuses like nightmares for this stupid uncertainty. He was being ridiculous. It was just fear. He was scared to lose everything again. He'd been scared before, he knew what it felt like, knew when it was time to suck it up and deal with what was in front of him.

He still wasn't sure how long he'd been gone, but he knew he'd been back for at least a few days now. It was time to stop being a burden on everyone.

He was thirsty. He'd get up and find himself some water, stop relying on everyone to wait on him hand and foot.

Not wanting to wake her, he carefully took Max's hand in his and went to lift it and rest it on her hip, but she stirred a little and tightened her hold on his waist, whispering, "Alec, s'ok, I've got you." She snuggled closer and he felt the unmistakeable sensation of her placing a soft kiss on his collar bone.

He wanted to sob. He'd give everything he had for Max to kiss him like that from love rather than pity.

He tried again, this time aiming to lift her arm just a little, and slip out from under it. God, it hurt to move. He bit his lip to keep from groaning. He edged away and thought he'd managed it, until he broke contact with all but her hand and she woke with a start, instinctively squeezing his hand tighter, keeping him from getting free.

"Alec, you OK? Do you need something?" She sat quickly, concern etched on her face as she looked down on him, placing her free hand gently on his chest to keep him from rising.

"You need more painkillers? Some water?" She looked at him closely, clearly expecting to have to glean what he needed from his expression rather than any verbal response.

He felt ashamed of his weakness, but it still felt so hard to form words. He summoned his resolve, "Maxie, I'm OK."

She smiled like she'd just been given the best gift ever and his heart warmed at the sight he hadn't seen outside his imagination in such a long time.

"You're not OK, Alec, but I'm really glad you're talking. Just relax. Let me take care of you."

"I don't need-"

"Yes, you do. They had you for four months and five days and what they did to you... You nearly died on me! Let me fuss a little, OK?"

"You have more important things-"

She cut him off again, "No, I don't have anything more important than this. Mole's got it all covered and I'm on vacation until you're back on your feet. Nothing's more important than getting you well. I'm staying here, and whatever you need I'm going to get for you. So tell me. What do you need?"

Alec relented. He really did feel exhausted and the pain of moving a few inches had reminded him how bad it had been getting from medical to the truck and then from the truck to his apartment. If he hadn't had Joshua and Max keeping him upright, he'd have dropped before he was half way to the truck.

He honestly wasn't sure he'd be able to get to the sink and pour a glass of water without help. If Max really didn't think he was being pathetic, maybe, just for today, it would be OK to accept her help.

"I'm a little thirsty."

"OK, water it is."

"Thanks, Max," Alec replied, and yet he was surprised to see something that looked like gratitude in _her_ expression.

**Continues soon... There's angst aplenty yet to mine in this particular seam. **

**Thanks for reading. Please review. I do so love reviews!**


	7. Blindside

**Disclaimer: Why, God why! [Shakes her fist impotently at the heavens] All of us fanfic writers are doing their job when you think about it. And we're doing it for free, because it's their stuff. Why is life so unfair?**

**A/N: This chapter is dedicated to Dark-Supernatural-Angel, who has been first to review every post since chapter 2 and writes me awesome comments that make me feel like my versions of these characters are really coming to life. Thank you so much! Thanks also to everyone who's sent me comments. It's so exciting to get them and it really encourages me to keep going when I hit a wall. In fact, thanks to everyone reading this story! **

**If you've been following this story I'm sorry to have kept you waiting for the next installment. I blame technical issues and my own lack of discipline.**

**This has turned into a mammoth chapter and I feel like I'm daubing angst all over this story like Joshua flinging broad impasto strokes onto his palimpsest canvas. Hope it's not too much! Also, Logan is coming out way more negative than I expected. I thought he'd be whiny, but jeepers, the man's turned into a total asshat. **

**So, the story so far: Alec was rescued and brought back to TC, but life is never easy for our heroes, so he's been having a pretty rocky start trying to settle back into normal life. Max is relieved that he's on the mend, but the two of them are harbouring some feelings... **

**Chapter Seven: Blindside**

Alec was sitting propped up in bed, Max sprawled next to him, like some kind of slumber party, she smiled to herself. She had nothing urgent to do and was happy just to be with him. The TV was on low in the corner, but she didn't think Alec was really watching. He hadn't shown that much interest in it since he'd been back, considering how attached he'd been to his boob tube before. She could tell he didn't like it on loud anymore.

She was reading over the scanned notebooks they'd found on Corrigan's laptop, trying to make sense of the scribblings they had attributed to Sandeman. They were in some sort of code, which didn't surprise her after his pervy skin messages had popped up all over her body. She still hadn't made any real sense of those either. She'd keep chipping away, but her attention wasn't really on them. She was much more attuned to Alec than the pages, so when he turned to look at her she sensed it and raised her head to meet his gaze.

"Maxie. What happened when you got me out? Did anyone get hurt?"

"We took some fire and there were a couple injuries but nothing serious."

"How not serious? Who?"

"Sunny and Poe. They're both fine. Minor bullet wounds. They kept Sunny in medical overnight because she managed to fall down some stairs and hit her head when she got shot, but she was home in the morning. Poe was in and out in a few hours. Would have been less, except you were hurt worse so you got priority."

"They're really ok?"

"They're fine."

"No one else got hurt?"

"No one."

He visibly relaxed and she could see he must have been worrying about it for a while. She reached out a hand and covered his.

"Everyone's fine Alec, really. And they were so relieved to have you back."

His eyes drifted from hers and she was reminded how far he still was from being back to his old cocky self when he couldn't hear something like that and just grin as though it went without saying.

"Listen, you totally don't have to, but Ralph says she keeps getting people asking when you can have visitors. Do you think you'd be up to a couple of people stopping by?"

"I guess it would be ok. Who's gonna come?"

"Could you handle Luke, Dix, Gem and Dalton? Sunny and Poe really want to see you too. They all rode back in the truck with us after. Mole, Josh and Ralph have been around but the rest of those guys have barely seen you since you were at death's door. They'd really like to see you looking a bit better. Doesn't have to be all at once."

Alec hesitated, and she kicked herself for speaking without thinking. She'd wondered if it would help him to see that his friends were OK, but it was too soon, and now she'd mentioned it, he'd feel like he had to even though he really didn't want to. "If you're not ready that's fine. I can be the wicked witch keeping you all to myself."

"OK. I um... I guess I owe Sunny and Poe a 'thanks for getting shot for me'."

"That's not why they want to see you."

She could see him struggling with something.

"Hey, what is it?"

"It's nothing. I...I just..." he tailed off, eyes fixed on a loose thread his fingers were worrying at the edge of his blanket.

"Alec, it's OK if you don't want to see them yet. You only just got back and everyone gets how bad it's been for you."

"No, I'll see them... I just..." He seemed to slump further into the pillows, defeated somehow. She shimmied a little closer, putting a hand on his arm, but not forcing him to look at her.

"You can tell me Alec. It's OK."

"When they come...will you stay?" He was flushed with embarrassment, obviously believing he'd revealed some shameful weakness.

She remembered what he'd said to her right before they'd headed out to be ambushed and reflected his words back to him, "Alec, you don't ask. I'm here anyway." Her voice came out choked. It was such a small, yet such a huge thing for him to ask.

###

When the guys showed up about an hour later, Max's hands were trembling and her heart was pounding with nerves. She wished she'd given him a couple more days at least to build up his strength and get used to being back.

It was so stupid of her, it was only yesterday that she and Joshua had set off a panic attack because they'd pushed him too hard, tried to make him eat hot dogs of all things after he'd been kept alive on IV fluids and eaten nothing but a couple of bites of oatmeal in four months.

It was only this morning he'd been able to say more than a few words to her.

What the hell was she expecting him to say to them, 'I'm always all right'? He wasn't anywhere close to being all right, and she was asking him to make his friends feel ok about what he'd been through?

She was ready to kick them all out the second Alec looked her way.

She'd helped him into the living room; he'd said it would feel weird having people traipsing in and out of his bedroom. It was a testament to how nervous they both were that neither of them even thought of the obvious joke about Alec suddenly being coy about visitors to his bedroom.

###

She was so proud of him. She'd kept the visits short, a few minutes each, but he'd been amazing. His voice was still gravelly, still getting accustomed to being used again, but he sounded more like himself, the guy who would just shoot the breeze with anyone in Crash. Someone who was looking for it would see the tension in the set of his shoulders, in the way he couldn't keep his hands from fiddling with the edge of the blanket Max had brought in and folded next to him in case he got cold. She didn't know if the others had noticed, but if they did they didn't say anything, maybe recognising it for the monumental effort it was.

Max hoped at least that the time with Sunny and Poe had eased something in him. They wouldn't have him feeling responsible for them. They'd volunteered for the mission and they'd do it again anytime. They waved off their injuries as nothing and wouldn't let him thank them, pointing out it wasn't anything he wouldn't have done for either of them, or for anyone else out there in TC.

He was ashen with tiredness by the last visit from Dalton and Gem and she was getting ready to kick them out when Cam stopped by to check on Alec and did it for her.

Cam helped her support Alec back to his room and he was asleep before Cam got the blood pressure cuff around his bicep.

Cam hadn't said anything but Max was feeling guilty enough that she read censure in his silence and was expecting to be taken to task. She needed to head it off at the pass, admit her mistake.

"I don't know what I was thinking. He was worried about what happened in the rescue, if anyone got hurt. I thought it would help him to see they were ok, and before I realised I had a whole bunch of people in here tiring him out."

"He handled it ok?" Cam straightened and turned to her.

"Man, he was awesome. Like when we brought him out of medical but with actual sentences. But I shouldn't have let it happen so soon."

"You gave him the choice, right? He could have said no?"

"I guess, but he'd have felt like he'd failed if he had."

Cam sighed. "You're both putting a lot of pressure on yourselves, y'know. You need to give yourselves a break. There's no right or wrong answers here. I guess all I can say is he's a grown-up, knows you're here for him. You've got to trust he knows his limits. And it might not sound like a consolation to you right now, but it will have helped morale out there. All of us have been fielding questions about him. Is he ok, when's he gonna be back on his feet, when can we see him?" He glanced back at Alec. "Maybe just think it through before you suggest anything else?" He added wryly.

###

It wasn't easy, and he was close to giving up a couple of times when over-thinking it made him gag, but he forced himself to keep going and when he cleared the plate, small though it was, and though the rice lay heavy and unfamiliar in his stomach, he felt at least he'd taken back some small measure of control.

He just wished Joshua wasn't making such a big deal of it. It was such a little thing after all.

"Feel better? Food good? Alec get stronger now."

"I'm good, Josh, thanks."

"Rest now. Did good Alec, ate all of it."

He really wanted to not think about the food. If he could distract himself he might not feel it inside anymore, stretching his shrunken stomach uncomfortably, and he wouldn't be worrying about bringing it all back up.

"Alec OK?" Joshua's voice had got small again. Damn.

"Hey Big Fella, why don't you tell Alec about the art classes?"

Max cut in and Alec couldn't decide whether it was comforting that she could see what he needed and wanted to do what she could to help, or worrying that he was so transparent, so far from having his game face back in place.

It was too much to hope that she really knew him, good and bad, and cared anyway. More likely that he was just as much a dark pit of ugly secrets as he'd ever been, it was just that now his weakness was on show for anyone who looked, and because of who Max was, she couldn't help but offer what aid she could to someone in need.

But he wasn't going to feel sorry for himself. He tuned back in to Joshua's story. Joshua had started out painting with a few of the little ones, then Fran had asked if she could join in, then all of a sudden, he found himself teaching a couple of classes each day. He grinned mischievously,

"Even life drawing."

"Who did you get to model?" Alec was intrigued. They were still a small community, everyone knew each other. Who had the balls and the vanity to pose naked? To allow paintings of themselves naked to float around TC? He reflected that in another time it might have been him – especially if he'd thought it would get a rise out of Max.

"Soda and Nila very proud of their bodies." Joshua deadpanned and Alec snorted with laughter. Catching Max's eye, he saw amusement there, but something else too, something warm and tender, something he really wanted to believe was just for him.

###

Max was euphoric. Alec had eaten a whole plate of rice, and while he'd clearly hated every mouthful, he'd toughed it out, knowing it was just a matter of will. He didn't want them making a big deal out of it, that was obvious, and she respected that, could understand how embarrassing it must feel to struggle with something so ordinary, but as far as she was concerned it was a huge deal. It had taken real strength, whatever he might think, and when she saw him push through the discomfort and the fear, for the first time since he'd been back, he hadn't seemed fragile. There was steel in him and it hadn't been broken, it had been tempered. He was showing signs of being himself again.

And then he'd laughed and she'd wanted to sing and dance with joy.

The high gave her the push she needed to go through with calling Logan.

###

Of course Logan was more than fine with broadcasting their recovered intelligence. He was at pains to stress that he was still her friend, arguments and differences of opinion notwithstanding.

And he was a journalist after all, and this was the scoop of the frigging century!

She hid a smirk and reflected how lucky it was that she'd taken Cam's cure before he arrived, seeing the avaricious way he grasped at the flash drive, not even hesitating at the thought of brushing her fingertips in his haste to get his hands on it.

She realised she was doing him a favour as much as the other way around. Logan lived for this stuff.

She'd really agonised over whether to tell him the cure was ready. She wasn't sure whether it sounded like she was using it as a lure. She hoped not, because that was the last impression she wanted to give him. She knew for sure now that her romantic feelings for him were far in the past.

She'd decided in the end that she really did want to take the cure because she didn't want to be an ongoing risk to Logan, and as Cindy had observed when they'd talked it over on the phone the night before, if Logan could see that she was over the relationship when the cure no longer stood in the way, maybe he'd finally get the message without her having to be all blunt and honest about her feelings, which, Cindy observed drily, she knew Max hated to do.

She wasn't sure if it was lingering resentment and awkwardness at their last encounter, or the thought of striking while the iron was hot, but Logan didn't stick around. Were his feelings finally cooling too? She hoped so.

Still, she couldn't help but be surprised by his hurried exit. Could it really be that easy?

###

Logan headed out, already planning his Eyes Only monologue in his head. This was huge. This was the story of his career. High-ups were going to fall, heads were going to roll. He'd get it out there, and then look to do a series of follow up stories. Maybe if things went well, Max would reconsider his idea for the documentary series from inside TC.

And they had the cure. He'd touched Max's hand and he wasn't dead. This was a great day.

He hadn't stuck around. Max had met him in Alec's living room, Alec apparently sleeping in the next room, so it was obvious she was still buying into his whole victim thing. Logan hadn't said anything more about his suspicions; he'd learned from last time that the direct approach wouldn't get him anywhere.

Max was headstrong and impulsive. She had to learn from her own mistakes. He'd wait for the novelty to wear off, wait for Alec to show his true colours, then he'd be there, ready to make his move. No Alec between them; no virus. His stories would end the siege and then nothing could keep them apart. He and Max would be happy together in the end, he knew it.

He was whistling as he headed back into the tunnel.

###

Logan didn't waste any time firing up his Eyes Only operation to make the broadcast. It was unfair: the first time Alec really wanted to speak and he had to keep his lip buttoned for Max's sake. Didn't want to upset Max with all she was doing for him and as much as he hated to think about it, she loved Logan. But gee, did the guy like the sound of his own voice.

They watched all the news shows for the next few hours, breaking stories all over the joint, behind the times journalists trying any slant to sound exclusive. They didn't want to get their hopes up, but the early results were positive. Anti-transgenic spokespeople were on the back foot, suddenly looking uncomfortable with being forced to defend their opposition to transgenics who were now being painted as abused children who'd become soldiers, who'd served as heroes and sometimes died for their country, sometimes been put down like feral animals, with the survivors living in a cage trying to scrape enough to eat.

The perimeter was quieter than it had been for some time. They'd flinched from the sight when one of the news outlets had brought out footage of slain transgenics and transhumans, but it had lead to a complete turnaround from burning Xs: someone had actually started a candlelit vigil for the fallen. They hoped this thaw would last, but it was awful to watch their loss and pain being served up as entertainment under the guise of serious current affairs.

Alec grudgingly admitted to himself that they wouldn't have been able to turn things around like that without Logan, managed even to say out loud to Max, with a surprisingly close approximation of sincerity,

"Your boy did good, huh."

To which, she'd responded with a terse "hmm" and an inscrutable expression. That was nothing if not unsettling. One thing Max was not usually good at was hiding her feelings. If she was happy you knew it. If she was pissed you damn well knew it. What did it mean that she wasn't floating on a pink fluffy cloud at the idea of her boyfriend riding to the rescue?

Maybe she'd realised Alec was in love with her and didn't want to rub his nose in it. She'd slip off later when he was asleep to meet Logan and tell him how awesome he was, what a knight in shining armour he was. The voice in his head sounded increasingly bitter. He'd have to look to that. He didn't want to ruin what closeness he had with Max just because he didn't have a chance for anything more with her. He could still find it in himself to be happy for her. He just wished it was with someone less full of himself.

###

Max figured she shouldn't begrudge Logan his moment of glory; he'd earned it after all. It wasn't unimpressive to be a trusted voice in this world full of graft and hypocrisy. But did he have to make himself the hero? Wasn't like _he'd_ busted into a heavily guarded military facility to get the evidence.

In fact, if you boiled it right down, the reason he had the story was because they'd had to bust Alec out, because Alec had given himself up to save her and Logan after Logan had encouraged her to trust a totally treacherous informant. You could argue that the reason Logan had the story was because he was a _bad_ journalist.

He'd called right after the broadcast, obviously wanting her to congratulate him and, to be honest; the words had stuck in her craw just a little. A few hours later, when the news was rolling in, he'd called again, talked about doing more broadcasts, brought up his idea for the documentary again, and had sounded all petulant and ill-used when she'd said it was too early to commit. It was like he honestly didn't get what was riding on this for all of them, and he didn't even think to ask how everyone was doing with seeing the piece about the lynchings looping every twenty minutes. He was all about _his_ story.

Then Alec had called Logan her boy and that had just sent her into a pit of depression.

Did Alec not notice that she was spending every second with him? Did he really think it was just because he was still recuperating? She wasn't usually this good at hiding her feelings, she'd kind of thought he'd start noticing that she was there when she didn't need to be and deduce her feelings so she wouldn't have to make some big heartfelt declaration and put him on the spot, not to mention probably mess it up.

Or maybe he had noticed and he was trying to let her down gently, subtly steer her back towards Logan because he didn't feel the same way.

###

It got a little easier each time and it wasn't long before Alec actually looked forward to tackling something besides rice or oatmeal. Maybe not mini hotdogs and macaroni, the thought of which still turned his stomach after that first time, but he thought he could probably go a ham salad sandwich with coleslaw, maybe some potato chips on the side. He had fond memories of that particular dish: it had been his first after Manticore burned. It had fuelled his fantasies over the months of imprisonment. For Alec, ham salad sandwiches and coleslaw would always taste like freedom.

He was amazed how much energy he was getting back now he was able to eat. He was sure he was healing faster too. The IV was gone and while it still hurt like hell and tired him out, he could limp his way to the bathroom without leaning on anyone.

The first hot shower he had was almost as good as the first time he had sex. In fact, he had to consciously stop himself when he realised he was making sex noises. Max was stretched out on the sofa reading, just feet away, only a flimsy door between them and no TV noise to drown him out.

She was still there all the time and he was glad of the company because he was still having the nightmares, and her presence kept him from dwelling on it while he was awake. At night, she'd come in and snuggle in beside him and her warm, solid presence grounded him like nothing else when he woke with a start from some awful memory. It wasn't just the torture he was reliving. The worst dreams were about the people he'd killed and the blood on his hands. Some of those nightmares were so bad he longed for the ones where he only had to experience his own pain, not the pain he'd inflicted on others. Whatever they'd done to him had torn free every memory of every evil thing he'd ever done and try as he might he just couldn't shut anything out.

He knew Max would only stay until she was satisfied he was OK and he didn't want to think about how he'd cope when she was gone.

###

Max was feeling more positive. She could see Alec getting stronger almost by the hour. She wasn't sure if she was imagining it, but she was convinced his face was filling out a little already. It was tough to watch him limping about the apartment, she hated to see him in pain, but it was great to see him getting back his independence.

The first time he'd taken a shower she'd sat right outside, afraid he was overdoing it, that he might slip and hurt himself. He'd made a funny noise, and she'd moved to the door, and almost called out to him before she realised he was making noises of pleasure. She'd grinned sheepishly, and then got a little bit hot and bothered at the thought of him maybe making those noises with her some day.

She was using the excuse of his nightmares to stay with him at night. She did want to stay there and be a comfort to him if he woke up from one, but if she was honest with herself it was for her too. When she went back to her place for fresh clothes, it felt empty and lonely and reminded her of those terrible months when she'd lain there in the dark alone, scared out of her mind for him. From the moment she stepped through her doorway she couldn't wait to get back to Alec.

He was getting better and pushing his boundaries more and more and she figured soon he would want his independence back and with it, his space. She felt ashamed at having mixed feelings about that. She just didn't want her presence to be superfluous, and she really didn't want to go back to that cold empty bed. But so far he hadn't said anything, hadn't questioned her presence in a way that made her feel unwelcome and that meant she could let herself believe that maybe he was as keen for her to stay as she was.

###

The news over the next day or two continued fair for them. There were calls for a public enquiry and a sympathetic judge had granted warrants for the arrest of Corrigan and some of his senior cohorts. They were in the wind right now, but it did at least look as though there was some real intent behind the search. There still wasn't any movement on the lifting of the siege, but there was pressure from a couple of human rights groups for the transgenic population to be given legal status, and for the definition of human to be extended to include even the most exotic of transhumans.

The effects on the TC community were varied. Some were entirely mistrustful of the sudden change in their fortunes, believed it could all change in a split second. Others were convinced the end was in sight, and they were the hardest to deal with, they were more and more claustrophobic every hour, they could taste freedom and they were jittery and short tempered at still being shut in. A few even wanted to open the front gate now, walk out into the city and take their chances. It had taken the combined persuasion of Max, Joshua and Mole to keep them from doing something rash and risking everything.

###

"Alec, you in there?" Mole's gruff voice accompanied a perfunctory knock that could only be his.

"Where else would I be?" Alec opened the door, feigning annoyance. Mole's visits were a breath of fresh air; he never asked how he was feeling or looked at him with pity or expectation. There were no feelings to be hidden or protected. Max's company was precious, and he didn't want to think about what he'd do without it, but he still wasn't sure whether he should, or even could risk trying for more. With Mole at least, he could be totally relaxed.

Mole strode past him, heaving a large box, and plonked himself down on the sofa.

"Where's Max?"

"Went home to shower and change."

"Hmm. Josh?"

"Art class."

"Pretty busy round here these days."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah, new people dropping in all the time. Whole bunch of newbies came back with you. Reason we found you? An X-series showed up here after making a run for it from where they had you. She told us how to find you."

"So she got away... I couldn't get out. I mean, I tried. A couple of times..." Alec tailed off, and Mole kicked himself.

"Well yeah. She wasn't tied up, starved, drugged, shot in the leg and beaten half to death. Anyhow, she got here and Max gave her the standard grilling. She knew you. Said she saw you when you tried to escape. Said she stopped you but not before you took out her partner with a tranq, slammed her across the room and broke the nose on some asshole ordinary. She was impressed. You should meet her. Not bad for an X."

"Sounds like you've got a crush, Mole." Alec hadn't ever heard Mole be this complimentary about anyone.

"Shut up. Not scaly enough for my taste. Anyhow, I got the impression she and Max's girl Cindy are pretty taken with each other. But we got reason to be grateful, her helping us get to you."

Alec was taken aback. Mole was practically gushing. Maybe he wasn't just hanging around in case Alec turned into a rampaging killing machine and needed putting down.

"Well, I guess I owe her a drink or something. What's her name?"

"Hope. Max gave it to her on account of her showing up with news."

"Huh."

"Yeah."

"Mole, are you drunk?"

"No. Why?"

"I never heard you talk this much before."

"If you want me to go..." Mole jerked a thumb towards the door.

"No. This is an experience."

"I'd say shut up, but these days you actually might."

"Ha! I knew you enjoyed my company really."

"You wish."

Mole gestured at the box, "Got some guns to clean. Time for you to get off your lazy ass and do some work around here for a change."

He spread the guns and cleaning supplies across the coffee table and they both fell to the task.

Mole didn't look up as he said quietly, "Stop if your hands hurt."

Alec grunted in assent, touched at the concern and not sure what to say. Mole seemed to sense it and filled the silence, "This is your fault you know. If you hadn't dropped in on me all the time before, you wouldn't have to put up with me now."

"Yeah. I really didn't think that one through."

###

Alec cleared his throat; it was time to face up to consequences.

"I don't think I talked Max. But I can't be sure."

"You didn't break, Alec. If you had they would have killed you."

"Not necessarily. Max, I..."

"Tell me?" Her voice was gentle, like it had been when he'd first been back.

"It's always my mouth gets me in trouble, right? I figured it was safest to say nothing at all. They already knew name, rank and serial number. So I just stayed quiet."

"You didn't talk at all? For four months?"

"You don't need to sound so incredulous, Max. I am capable of radio silence. I'm a trained soldier."

The hurt in his voice was obvious, and Max coloured, of course she believed him; how could she not when he'd been practically mute the first few days he'd been back?

"I'm...I'm sorry. I didn't mean...I..."

"I'm teasing you, Max. You used to like that. Gave you someone to punch in the arm. You remember? Stress relief."

She opened and closed her mouth a few times. It had been such a long time since she'd heard one of his jokes. She didn't know how to react. Back in the day she would have punched him, but he still looked frail. On the other hand, he was a transgenic and they were a lot tougher than they looked. Plus, it was Alec, and he'd just deliberately wound her up. It was her duty as his CO. She slapped him on the back of his head – not as hard as she would have before, but that would come, she was sure.

"Dumbass!" she added for good measure.

"Great comeback, Fearless Leader. Very witty. And: Ow!"

She grinned at him, grateful more than she could say for a moment of normality between them.

"So, you were saying...radio silence?"

"Well, yeah."

"So what happened when you wouldn't talk?"

"They gave me a medal and shipped me stateside for the parade."

"Alec, this is between you and me. I promise you. It won't go any further. Talk to me. You and he knew each other. You said he'd enjoyed being let loose on you before. You can tell me. Maybe it'll help a little?"

"I don't think I can. Not yet. Max, can you be patient with me? I just...I don't have the words yet." His voice was rough with emotion, and fatigue, but it didn't crack.

"Hey, it's ok. There's no rush. I'm right here. I'm not going anywhere," She took his hand in both of hers and pulled it onto her lap.

"You going soft in your old age?" He still got freaked out by Max's gentle manner with him since he'd been back; he just wished he knew what it meant.

"You know how people feel the need to fill a silence? I'd stay quiet and they'd keep elaborating on their questions. Told me quite a bit about what they were up to without even realising it. And I heard stuff. Some of them were pretty sloppy. They weren't all old school Manticore. They talked out of human earshot, but didn't judge the limits of transgenic hearing. Or they'd think I was out of it, and talk."

"And?"

"They want to rebuild Manticore. They figure they need to bring us down to do that. They think if they break our leadership they'll get our people to go back. They think they can rebuild their army and everyone'll be so grateful for a place to belong and a lead to follow they'll just fall in."

"That jives with what we found in their records. Did they talk about their plan?"

"The plan was me, I guess. At least to begin with. They wanted me to tell them about TC, chain of command, supply and all that. They were curious about you, obviously. Kept asking how much loyalty you commanded; how much authority you had. They were pretty transparent. Hey Maxie. Can I ask you something?"

"Ok." Max was automatically suspicious.

"What do you know about Callie? Do you trust her?"

"Why? Did you hear something?"

"No. Just. She wasn't here before I was...before."

"She came right after. Eight days later." She knew exactly. Everything that had happened in those four months had been measured in terms of how long it had been since Alec had been taken. Still, neither Max nor Alec was comfortable articulating where Alec had been during those months.

"So, what do you think?"

"About?"

"Callie! Do you trust her?"

Max thought about it. Truth was Psy Ops types made everyone else nervous, Max included. Still, she had to be fair, and Alec seemed to be after an honest answer.

"Well, like I said, she's been here four months. Never gave us any reason not to trust her. All of us got the capacity to betray each other I guess, psychic mojo or not. Still, when you woke up and decked her she was really decent about it. Said it was her fault crowding you like that, should've known you'd remember her and react like that. She wouldn't say what went on between you, your story to tell and all. She was angry Jin sedated you too. Refused point blank to have you restrained. She just transferred herself off the team. Still kept track of how they were treating you though. So, yeah, I guess I trust her. She seemed sincere. You got reason to think otherwise of her?"

Alec took a moment to weigh it all up.

"No, not other than the past and I got stuff to atone for there too. I just need...I don't know. I trust you, so if you trust her I guess that's good enough for me. Max. Can I ask a favour?"

"Sure." Max was nervous. Alec was still so far from his usual cocky self. Although the cockiness had been worn pretty lightly even before he'd been taken, and even she had been observant enough to notice. Still, since he'd been back he'd been so...tentative. It was a little unnerving.

"I don't remember all of it. Most of it's there, maybe a little fuzzy in places, but mostly I remember. But the pieces I don't? I'm worried about what that means. I mean...they were trying to get information, but they wanted to use me too. They kept trying with the re-indoctrination stuff, and those days I don't remember? I'm worried they did something to me that...what if it worked? What if you guys found me 'cos they were ready for you to?"

"Trust me Alec, they didn't know we were coming. We took fire getting you out. We were lucky no one got hurt any worse. They didn't want to give you up."

Alec was visibly steeling himself, "At Manticore they made transgenics into sleepers sometimes. For stuff they needed total deniability for...or stuff they knew was too awful to get done with just the usual brainwashing. What if they put a trigger in my head and I'm walking around here a loaded weapon? I need to know. And the only way I can think is to get Callie to take a stroll around in my brain and make sure there's nothing in there that shouldn't be. If there is, maybe she can do something about it.

"It's just... the thought of letting someone do that again. I don't want to be alone for it. Would you be there with me? Make sure it's all on the up and up?"

"There's no need for you to put yourself through that. I trust you."

Alec raised his eyebrows, incredulous, "You trust me? Since when? Aren't I the lovable sociopath?"

"Since you put Logan and me and Terminal City first."

Max wasn't really sure how to deal with this new Alec, an Alec who looked away embarrassed when she praised him, but she pushed on anyway, "Alec, you're not the screw up you were when we first met. I get that now. You don't need to put yourself through this. You didn't break in there. After more than four months of torture you didn't break. When we finally got to you, you were barely alive but you hadn't told them anything. Corrigan said as much. Why would you think they could have put a trigger in your head if they couldn't even get you to tell them name, rank and serial number?"

"Because I don't remember!" He was practically squirming under her gaze. He couldn't bear for her to talk like he was a hero. He knew what craven behaviour he was capable of in the name of self-preservation, remembered what he'd nearly done to her and to Joshua when White had put that bomb in his neck, what he had done to that transhuman panther person in the sewer. God knew he wasn't keen on the idea of finding out what he'd sunk to during those lost days. But he had to know. His transgenic friends and the fate of Terminal City, and, if he was honest with himself, especially Max meant enough to him by now that he'd put his own comfort aside for the greater good, but he wasn't happy about it, and he for damn sure didn't want any praise for it.

Max was absolutely certain he hadn't told them anything. It had taken him days before he'd been able to speak; he'd locked himself down so tight in there. And that being the case, she couldn't imagine they'd managed to break him in any other way. Still, she relented; after what he'd been through, she'd happily do anything to give him some peace of mind, "Ok, I'll come with you. But for the record, I don't think there's anything to worry about."

###

Callie wasn't happy. She felt she'd come a long way since she'd arrived in Terminal City. The other transgenics had been so suspicious and nervy around her at first, and to be honest, she couldn't blame them. She'd been given the Psy Ops treatment by another of the telecoercives herself once, and she wouldn't recommend it as a good time. She'd stuck firmly to proper medicine since she'd arrived, taking the Hippocratic oath in her own heart, even if not in a recognised university hospital and she was happy sticking to that cardinal rule of "first do no harm". For the last four months, she'd busied herself with patching up wounds and delivering babies. It was good for her soul, and finally she was starting to be accepted; she even had one or two almost friends. Now Alec was standing in front of her asking her to use her abilities on him.

"I don't do that anymore. I haven't used the psychic ability since I came to TC. I only used it after Manticore when I needed it to get out of trouble. Guys, please. You can't ask this. I'm starting to fit in here. If I use it on a transgenic here they'll all think they can't trust me."

Max had Alec in her line of sight. She'd wanted to be able to keep an eye on him, make sure he was ok without making it obvious, and the poor guy looked green at the thought of having to beg to have his mind manipulated and violated. Again. Not to mention he still hadn't got back the bulk he'd lost in captivity. He looked tired and sick and vulnerable, but he looked determined too. He'd made up his mind he was going to see this through and he'd asked for her help, something he never would have done before, so it was time for her to step up.

"Callie, we're not asking. Alec needs this so you're gonna man up and do your duty. This isn't Manticore and I don't like giving orders but this is an extraordinary situation, so I _am_ ordering you to help him. I'll try to help you with your fitting in thing, tell everyone that it was an order, but whatever happens, you're going to do this."

She'd known him in Manticore of course, as a subject. She'd been part of the team that worked on him after his clone, 493 had gone off the reservation, and they'd tested 494, Alec, she reminded herself, in every way possible to see if he might do the same. He'd been beaten, isolated, drugged, wiped and reprogrammed, more than once. They'd worked on him for six months. They'd tested him almost to destruction. If he hadn't gone nuts after that, he was never going to.

Since she'd arrived in TC, Callie had heard stories about Alec. She'd come a week or so after he'd been taken and the vibe around the place was practically ultrasonic. Everyone was jittery because he was gone. They were all ready to drop everything at a moment's notice to get him back as soon as they had a lead on where the hell he'd been taken. Everyone knew he'd given himself up and that whoever it was that had taken him was Manticore. They spoke about Alec in almost reverential tones. Courage under fire was one thing, but volunteering to be mind-raped by Psy-ops to protect the CO? That was either insane or the bravest thing any of them had ever heard of.

As time went on, and they were no closer to finding him, the coiled energy began to dissipate, but no one forgot about him. Everyone who knew him had an opinion, had a story to tell. He'd made them laugh while conning them out of their last dime over a poker hand; he'd found them a great deal on the MP3 player or the desert eagle pistol, or the single malt they'd been dreaming about since the siege began; he'd introduced them to their honeys; he'd saved their lives.

Then, finally, after four months of researching, hacking, bribing and kicking ass, they had a lead and the news spread like wildfire. Everyone in the camp had volunteered for the extraction mission. She'd actually seen two X-6 teenagers come to blows over who Alec liked better, and therefore should be there when they rescued him.

Then he'd come back to TC barely alive and had shown such fight, such determination to hold it together, to still be who he needed to be for everyone else. She'd heard from Cam how he'd sat through visits with transgenics who only wanted to know he was ok, couldn't cope with him not being ok, and he'd smiled, and met their eyes and made them believe he was ok.

And now, here he was, asking to go through more torture so that he could protect the people he cared about. The others might wonder, but she was sure. It wasn't insanity; it was the bravest thing she'd ever seen.

Callie caught Alec's eye for the briefest of moments, then stood tall, her face grim, "Yes ma'am."

###

It didn't look like much. Callie raised the back of the bed and gestured to Alec to make himself comfortable. She sat in a comfy chair facing him, took a deep breath, tipped her head a little to the side and initiated eye contact. It didn't look like anything much but Max felt the tension in the room build until she wanted to scratch her skin off.

Alec was grey by the time Callie was done with him, breathless and sweating, and barely conscious. Max had wanted to step in and stop it, but she couldn't forget Alec's anguish when he had begged her to come with him and support him through this. He needed to be sure, and if he could dredge up the courage for this after everything he'd been through, she owed it to him to suck it up and deal, no matter how bad it got. So she'd bitten her tongue and just sat at the edge of his eye line, within arm's reach, in case he needed the moral support to become physical. He had reached out to her when things got really bad. He'd held her hand with desperate strength, had bitten his lip until it bled to keep from screaming. It had taken hours, and she felt like she'd been beaten with sticks and then forced through a wringer, so god knew how he was feeling.

She looked up at Callie, who frankly didn't look much better herself. "Well?" Max asked, seeking eye contact with Alec then lifting his hand to her mouth and kissing his palm. She wanted it clear that she was asking because he was obviously too exhausted, not because she had any doubts about him. Naked affection was all she could think of to convey that.

Callie had had emotional distance back at Manticore. Psy-ops operatives had been in separate quarters from the rest of the transgenics, and part of their indoctrination had been aimed at making them believe themselves superior to the others, purely because of their ability to manipulate them. She'd been good at it too. Surrounded by others of her kind, it had been easy to blend in to the group, not accept any responsibility for suffering caused, or lives ruined. But for months now she'd lived among the family in TC – the X5s, 6s and 7s, the transhumans. She was the only telecoercive in TC and so she no longer had a close group to hide amidst, no justification to make. She'd begun to see them all as people, individuals with strengths and weaknesses, ability to love, hate, laugh, cry. Now, like the others who'd never had to question orders while behind Manticore's walls, she couldn't look back without regret, without knowledge that she was responsible for what she'd done.

She'd never thought she'd have to do this again, and doing it to someone she liked, admired even, it was distressing and shaming. Now she was going to have to talk about what had been done to him by another of her kind while he was held captive; she was going to have to talk through what she'd done to Alec in order to find that out.

Callie blew out a shaky breath and forced herself to make eye contact with Alec again, he deserved at the very least that respect. "They really did a number on you, Alec. It was the full whammy. No wonder you've got gaps in your memory. They didn't succeed though. There's nothing to worry about."

Max, their strong, kick-ass leader, was clearly barely hanging on to her self-control. Callie wasn't sure if Max wanted to run, cry or beat the shit out of her. Maybe she wanted all three, and a few other things besides. Whatever, there were scary protective vibes coming off her when it came to Alec. No one was going to hurt him again while she was around, that was for damn sure. "What did they do to him?"

"They tried to build a trigger, he was right about that. It's not complete though. If you imagine it like a pyramid, it has to have foundations and structure. Neurologically it has to link memory with recognition with a specific action via a single coded identifier to act as trigger, usually a word or short phrase, and all at the subconscious level. The building is done through a combination of suggestion, coercion and subliminal messages. They use physical and psychological torture to lower the defences and force the subject's mind open so they can push in each element of the trigger. It's complicated to create, but once it's there, it's there for life, unless it's dismantled."

She switched her focus back to Alec, "In your case, it looks like there were partially build foundations for two different triggers. My guess is that one of them is from the last time you were in Psy-ops at old Manticore, and one from this time. Neither of them was completed. Practically speaking, you're not optimal for that type of implant anyway. You're too independent, too individual a personality. It works best with people who are natural followers, or people pleasers, or emotionally vulnerable in some way. Even so, they would have completed it if you'd given up fighting, but it looks like every inroad they made, you pushed back. The little progress they made? My guess is that subconsciously you allowed them to plant the least useful aspects of the structure so they'd believe they were progressing, while really you were holding them off from gaining any substantial ground.

"I can tell it wasn't easy though. The loss of memory and the headaches and blurred vision you've had are partly down to damage from the laser, but the scarring is healing. The rest is because of the psychic force used by a telecoercive. It's like a psychic beating – causes psychic bruising, psychic bleeding. And you took one hell of a beating. But it will heal.

"I...I recognise the work. Psy-972. We were in the same unit. He was always Corrigan's go-to guy for the tougher cases because he was mostly about brute force, but when he'd battered someone down, he was really sneaky too. I know we all have stuff to atone for, but he took real pleasure in it. I don't know why I'm so surprised he's still choosing to work with people like that."

She took a deep breath, and continued, "I've dismantled what he did plant so you can relax, but really, I think 972 could've kept trying until he died of old age and he still wouldn't have got anywhere. Hell, Manticore had him give up on that first trigger, and I don't think that ever happened before."

Max smiled, "Basically, you're a contrary pain in the ass who'll do anything to get out of doing the work." She was slightly awed by Callie's explanation. To have resisted torture to that extent? To have impressed a Psy-ops coercive with his strength of will? That was hard-core. That was something to be proud of.

Alec relaxed, the pain lines on his face smoothing with relief. His eyes closed and his grip on Max's hand loosened and he finally slept.

###

Max thanked Callie for helping, though to both of them it seemed like a terrible thing to be grateful for. Still, Max realised that it had been necessary for Alec's peace of mind.

Callie nodded her acknowledgement, "Feels like some twisted form of atonement."

"Happens a lot more than you'd think around here. We're none of us innocents."

"I guess."

"You think he'll be OK after this?"

"I think this was a cake walk after what he's been through. For him; not us, obviously." She added with a wry smile.

"Yeah. And like I said, Callie, I'll make sure everyone knows you helped."

"You don't need to do that. You were right; it's my duty."

"Maybe that was a little harsh."

"Not duty then. My job."

Callie nodded goodbye and turned to leave the room. Max, totally drained, hovered next to her chair for a moment, and then thought better of it. She grabbed a blanket from the cupboard, hopped on the bed and curled in next to Alec, smoothing the blanket over both of them.

###

Alec woke to only a pounding headache, rather than a chainsaw cleaving his brain, so that was some significant improvement. And Max was there, which always improved things by at least 50 per cent. And yet, he still felt wrung out and, for some reason, not as relieved as he'd expected.

He was happy he wasn't going to kill everyone he loved because of some new and exciting wiring in his head. He was glad he was getting better. He felt stronger all the time. He felt hungry in a more normal way, the sort of way that was his body saying, "You know what, I could use a sandwich," and he was happy to oblige. He was feeling better all the time, his efficient machine of a transgenic body firing on all cylinders to heal him up and use every gram of food he could eat to get him back to prime condition.

Which led him to why he was feeling low. He didn't need Max to help him anymore. This mind meld with Callie would be the last thing he'd need from her that he could reasonably ask for. What he needed from her now, her love; he couldn't ask for that. He couldn't expect it. And that meant he was going to have to give up what she was giving him, company, comfort, her warm, soothing presence next to him in bed at night. She needed to go back to her real life: her job as CO. And her real love life: Logan.

He hated Logan just a little bit, for meeting Max first, for being a better man: more moral, more dedicated to justice and all that crap. For knowing how to love someone in a way that didn't get them killed.

###

Max stirred beside him and stretched.

"Hey, you're up. How're you feeling?"

"I'm good. Relieved."

"I'm glad."

She checked the clock on the wall. They'd slept for an hour and he was still pale from his ordeal. He could probably do with at least a few more hours. She was glad that some of the weight he'd been carrying around was off his shoulders, but what could he possibly need her for anymore? Could she justify staying with him even tonight? He was tough enough to go through mind invasion by choice. He didn't need her to hold his hand through a few nightmares. He'd have them under control in no time.

"You wanna go home?" She asked, and he nodded.

They didn't talk much on the way back. As they got to the stairs to Alec's place she asked, "What are you comfortable with me telling the guys about today?"

"I don't know. Whatever I guess. Callie defused me?"

"Callie didn't need to defuse you. I'll tell them she checked you out and you're clean. No threat."

"OK. You-" He cut himself off. He couldn't say that, could he?

"What is it?"

"It's nothing."

"Alec? Tell me?"

"You have to go now?"

She relaxed. He might not need her, but he still wanted her around, at least for a while.

"Wasn't planning to. There's no hurry, right?"

She followed him into his place and they both slumped on the sofa.

"That was pretty tough in there. I don't know what it felt like for you but I thought my head was going to explode."

"You could feel it?"

"The atmosphere in the room, it was...I don't know...like really high frequency noise; it made my skin crawl."

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean for it to hurt you."

"No, don't say sorry. I wanted to be there with you. I'm glad you asked me. I thought you were amazing." She hadn't meant to say so much, but it popped out and she was glad it had.

"Don't say that."

"Why? That took a lot of guts, Alec. I saw how much it took."

"I'm not a good guy, Max. I'm not-"

"What are you talking about? What you've done for me, for all of us? That's not just good. That was the most selfless thing I ever saw."

"Don't talk like I'm some kind of hero, Max. I'm not. The things I've done..."

"We've all done bad things. It's ancient history."

It was time to come clean. Max needed to know the real him. If she never wanted anything to do with him again, he'd just have to deal with it, but he couldn't bear for her to think he was something he wasn't.

"I'm not worth your good opinion Max. I'm the reason you and Logan couldn't be together."

"Alec, you didn't deliver the virus, I did!"

"But I knew. I could've stopped it."

"You were just the messenger. How dumb was I to think you'd risk everything for a girl who kicked you across the room the first time she ever met you? I should have known they were letting me escape. I just wanted to believe I was getting one over on them and that was my own stupid fault. And say you warned me, what then? If they'd found out you blew the mission over a sudden attack of conscience, they probably would have killed you. You were following orders!"

"You know, since I got out of Manticore, I've found out that excuse hasn't flown for a long time. Nuremburg Trials mean anything to you? I'm responsible for the harm I've done. And there's other stuff, you know there is."

Max let him talk. He needed to get it out of his system and she needed him to know that she knew the worst of him and still loved him.

"Like when White put that bomb in my head. What I nearly did to you and Josh."

"Yeah, but you didn't."

"I did, Max. Before I tried to kill you and Josh, I killed a transhuman. In the sewer, here in TC. She was part panther or something. I tried to convince myself that she threw the first punch, that she was too dangerous to leave roaming free, but the fact is, it was me that was dangerous. Feral. I'd have done anything to stay free. If Josh had a barcode, he'd be dead. And there was a kid too, an X-Series. I couldn't kill him, but I choked him unconscious and cut off his code; left him at a hospital.

"They tracked me there, took him. I didn't know they were watching me but I should have. They probably killed him because of me. Because I didn't want to die."

"And Rachel. You saw what I did to her. But that's not even the worst of it. For the longest time I thought it was, but the rest was worse. I was supposed to kill both of them, her and her father, but I couldn't because I fell for her. I would have been willing to kill him though, because he didn't matter to me. And even worse than that; my cover for the mission was to pose as her piano teacher. So I killed the real one. I strangled him. I didn't even hesitate. Didn't care that I was murdering a man and stealing his name." His voice cracked on that word; he of all people knew the significance of a person's name.

"I just followed my orders and tried never to think of him as a person with a life and a family. I cut him out of my mind and I never let myself feel it until all this happened. Now I can't stop thinking about him and the others I killed and never looked back. I'm a cold blooded killer, Max. A psychopath."

She reached out for his hand, and when he tried to pull away, she gripped harder, stopping him from breaking contact.

"You are not cold-blooded. You're not a murderer and you're not a psychopath. You were a soldier. You killed because you were ordered to. They indoctrinated you from the moment you were born, and then tortured you when you found the motivation to rebel. You're a human being so you're feeling it now, but you're not to blame, Alec. You're not the murderer, you were the weapon. Now you're a free man and you choose to stand by your friends. You're willing to risk everything to protect us. That's who you are."

"I can't ever make up for what I did, Max. I see it all in my dreams and I know what I was. None of this makes it ok."

"You almost died trying to protect us, but it doesn't seem to be helping you forgive yourself. Well here it is: I forgive you. For everything. Now I want you to forgive me. Can you do that?"

"Max you haven't done anything wrong."

"Really? I've killed, Alec."

"Ben. You killed Ben out of mercy."

"No. I killed him to protect myself. And he's not the only one. When we were kids, they sent us after this guy in the woods. We killed him. We tore him apart."

"You were ordered to. You were children."

"You were a kid too."

"At first. But I kept going. You guys escaped so you wouldn't have to follow their orders."

"I escaped and never looked back, and I need you to forgive me for that. I never let myself wonder what would happen to all of you we left behind. I only thought about my unit, my brothers and sisters. I never let myself think that you and Sam and all the others would be punished for what we did. It was years before it ever occurred to me to try to stop Manticore."

"You didn't do anything wrong Max. You didn't."

"I was a thief. Something I always gave you a hard time for. And Logan got shot and ended up in a wheelchair because I only ever thought about myself. I'm not perfect either Alec. I'm not someone for you to measure yourself against and feel like you come up short. I forgive you and I need you to forgive me. Please tell me you forgive me?"

"Max, I..."

"Please."

"I can't. The things you've done don't come anywhere near to what I did. Max, if you needed forgiveness, I couldn't be the one to do it."

"How about this? I let you give yourself up to Corrigan. I didn't stop you. I was your CO and more than that, I was your friend, and I let you sacrifice yourself for me. I knew what he'd do to you, but I didn't find a way to get us all out. I didn't find you for months. I didn't look hard enough or in the right places and you nearly died because of it."

"You saved my life! You found me. And you kept me from breaking in there. You gave me my name Max, and when that was all I could remember, all I had left to hang on to, it was enough to keep me from losing myself completely."

Max's heart leapt at his words, and she didn't think she could speak through the lump in her throat.

"You gave everyone here hope. When nobody knew what to do, you inspired us to take a stand. You're the hero. I wanted to be a better man for you, Maxie, because I love you."

The words were out of his mouth before he could stop them and his heart pounded at the realisation that he'd just laid it at her feet.

"You love me too?" Max whispered, stunned at the turn the conversation had taken.

"I know. Logan loves you. I'm not trying to get in the way of that."

"I'm not with Logan anymore. That's over. Alec, I love _you_ _too_."

"Oh."

He looked doubtful. She figured that was more a product of his feelings about himself than about her. She put a hand to his neck and stroked his cheek with her thumb, "I love you."

He clasped his hand around her wrist, leaning into her touch. She leaned forward and kissed him, and as his soft lips parted a little at the gentle pressure she felt warmth spreading low down in her belly. She slid her other hand up his chest, feeling his heart's wild beat. She wanted him so badly.

She pulled back to look at him, to see if he was starting to believe. He opened his eyes, a little dazed and she was reminded how much the session with Callie had taken out of him: his pale face, and the bruised look under his eyes.

"You're exhausted. You should rest."

"I'm ok." He didn't want this moment to end. If he went to sleep, when he woke it would all have been in his imagination.

"I'm beat too. Let's take a nap?" She rose and he accepted the hand she reached out to him, pulling him to his feet.

They dropped down on the bed and Max flicked the blanket over them both. They turned into each other's arms and were asleep in seconds.

###

They'd slept for hours. Max never slept that long and she realised how dog-tired she'd been; how much she'd needed to know Alec was ok and to know that he returned her feelings before she could really rest.

But it meant she was late. She'd promised to be in command this morning. Logan was coming down to talk about the news coverage and how they could use the positive spin to push for some real concessions. She knew it was important but right now she was finding it hard to care. She was warm and comfortable; she was lying in the perfect fit of Alec's embrace and she'd never felt she belonged anywhere more. Alec loved her. What was more important than that?

She snuggled closer, making the most of it for a little bit longer, listening to his breathing, stroking the soft golden hairs on his forearm, somehow amazed at the reality of him.

She rested her hand on his chest to find that his heart was pounding fast. She realised he wasn't relaxed in sleep, he was having another nightmare. It was worse now she knew what he was dreaming about. She couldn't let him suffer through that. She shifted onto her elbow and kissed him, wanting him to wake from past horrors to present tenderness.

She felt him gasp quietly and his arms tightened around her as he woke, "Maxie?"

"I'm here. You were dreaming. I'm here." He buried his face in her hair and she held him tightly until his heart rate settled back to normal.

"I'm sorry." His voice was soft, just above a whisper.

"Please don't Alec. This is what I'm here for. Will you tell me what you were dreaming?"

"That I betrayed you. That I couldn't hold out any longer and I talked."

"That didn't happen. You would never do that."

"I kept hoping I'd die before they found some way to break me." She knew he wasn't talking about the dream anymore.

"You knew we'd come for you though, right?"

Alec shrugged, he couldn't look at her and her heart sank.

"I'm just one person. You had a whole camp to look out for and I had no idea where they'd taken me. After a few weeks, I figured the leads dried up and you had to focus on TC."

"I'm so sorry Alec. I'm so sorry it took so long. I kept looking all the time. I never would've stopped. _Never_."

He looked up at her finally.

"I thought I was just the pain in your ass. Figured you'd be glad to be rid of me."

"You're not the pain in my ass, Alec. You haven't been for a long time. Those four months, I missed you so much. I couldn't stop thinking about you. I had nightmares about what they were doing to you. And having you back...I can't even tell you what that means to me. I want you to be able to lean on me."

"I've been leaning on you too much. I should just be able to suck it up."

"No you shouldn't. What they did to you left scars. You need time to get over all that. I wish I could take it all away for you right now, but it doesn't work like that so there's no hurry for you to be OK. I'm here for you. I love you no matter what."

###

Alec wanted to come with her and she was glad he was keen to get out of the apartment, get some fresh air and see people. Plus the chicken in her saw that it meant she wouldn't have to be alone with Logan. Seeing them together might just be the medium required to deliver the message.

They arrived in command late enough that Logan was pacing their office impatiently. He turned at the sound of Max's voice and took in the fact that she was holding hands with Alec instantly. His heart sank. This wasn't how it was supposed to be. She was supposed to realise they were meant to be together. Max was better than Alec. Too good for Alec and too good for this place. She should be working with him to get out of here, back to normal. They should be working together on Eyes Only cases and spending their down time talking over romantic dinners with good red wine. Not that he had a lot of that left since his apartment had been trashed, but still, he could improvise.

"Hey Logan," Max's tone was strange; she didn't know how to speak to him. Alec picked up the vibe, and, either thinking it would make it easier for her, or succumbing again to his doubts, tried to pull his hand away. She didn't let him, held tighter, not allowing herself to be troubled if she hurt his healing bones. It was more important he was sure of her. It was his soul she was worried about healing, the rest would take care of itself now.

"Hey Max," Logan held up a folder of papers, "I brought some stuff we should go through. Profiles for influential people we can lobby." Logan's manner was equally awkward, and Max knew she needed to have a proper conversation with him, see if he was still harbouring hopes and if so, put them to rest for good.

"Alec," Logan nodded tightly, his tone strained. "Good to see you up and about."

"Yeah. Saw your hack. Very eloquent." Logan looked as though he wasn't sure if Alec was being sarcastic. Hell, Alec wasn't sure himself.

"Ok, as much fun as all this tension is, why don't we get down to business?" Alec plopped down into a chair and Max followed suit. Logan slid the folder across the table and flipped it open in front of Max, who slid it slightly to the right so Alec could read it easily too.

Logan sat opposite and cleared his throat. "It seems there are some willing to talk now, stand up in public for you guys. There's a few in congress, even the senate. I think you should strike while the iron's hot."

"Can we be sure of their commitment though? They weren't exactly in our corner before." Alec sounded dubious and Max turned to him, seemingly swayed by his assessment. It annoyed Logan, how much she listened to Alec, how much she seemed to just take on his views.

"It's true. Some of these guys were on the news before making excuses for the thugs who killed Biggs and taking about whether they should send the army in here. It's a risk to rely on them."

"Maybe it's time to take that risk Max. You can't stay here forever."

Max shrugged, feeling that Logan was talking about more than just working to end the siege. "I don't know about that. We're cleaning up this joint. It's not even a biohazard anymore. We don't want the walls and we want to be part of the world, but I don't know that everyone wants to just blow this place. We've got a community here."

"You want to stay in Terminal City?" Logan sounded incredulous and his tone got her back right up again. It wouldn't help to get annoyed though, so she forced herself to let it go.

"Do you have any reason to believe that any of these people were sympathetic before your hack?" She asked; it was simpler just to ignore his question.

"There may be a few. I'd need to look into it more."

Alec was flicking over the pages. "Might have some luck with Winstone," he said, tapping the profile of a senator from Wisconsin.

"Yeah?" Max's attention was fully on Alec and Logan bristled.

"Few years back, Biggs and I were on protection detail. Winstone was under threat for his opposition to the mob. They wanted low profile bodyguards so we were passed off as his nephews, spent a few months with him. He liked us."

"Cos you're so charming." Max teased affectionately.

"Fresh faced too. He said we made him feel young." Alec smirked.

"What, did you take him to a strip club?"

"No, we were fifteen. He took us!"

Max shouldn't have been shocked but she was. Manticore had had a fifteen year old Alec and Biggs body guarding a senator against the _mob_. What the hell else had they had him doing as a kid?

"So what happened?"

"We neutralised the threat. He went back to his life, we went back to ours. Like I said, it's been a few years, but he seemed like an honest guy and he might remember us."

"You saved his life."

Alec looked uncomfortable again. He still didn't want her focusing on the good things he'd done. She let it drop. For now.

"We should run these by the others. See if anyone else has favours we can call in."

Max noticed that Ralph had put on coffee, knowing they had a meeting. She nodded to the pot. "Anyone want coffee?"

Alec got up to grab the mugs from the cupboard while Max brought over the pot. She poured and handed out the filled mugs.

"Max!" Alec called the warning a second too late; her hand had brushed Logan's.

"What's up?" Max reacted to the alarm in his voice but couldn't see the threat.

"You touched each other...the virus!"

Max's mouth dropped open. He didn't know. "No, Alec, it's OK. We found the cure."

"You're cured?" He didn't know how to react. His eyes caught Logan's and there was something like triumph there. This changed everything. Nothing stood between Max and Logan. Nothing but him. And he couldn't imagine he'd be much of an obstacle.

"Right. That's great, Max. I'm really happy for you. I...um...I gotta go talk to Mole...about these files."

Logan couldn't help but feel cheered and a little bit vindicated. Max and Alec weren't all that solid in whatever their relationship was if she hadn't even told him about the cure.

"Alec, wait."

Alec paused at the door and looked back. Logan could see the younger man's anguish written all over his face and had the grace to feel a little ashamed of his initial reaction. Whatever he thought about Alec, it was obvious whatever the kid felt for Max was real.

"Alec, I'm so sorry. I should've told you."

"It's ok Max, I get it. You're free now."

Alec was pulling away from her. Max kicked herself for handling it so badly.

"Alec, listen. I'm sorry. I forgot to tell you, or I forgot you didn't know. Or, I don't know...it wasn't at the front of my mind. I was focused on making sure you were ok after everything..."

Logan flinched. It wasn't at the front of her mind. It wasn't that she'd chosen not to tell Alec because whatever was between them wasn't secure. It was that she'd actually forgotten. It hadn't rated as important enough to tell Alec. He was starting to think it really might be over between them.

Alec nodded, unconvinced. She wasn't sure what to do. She didn't want to rub Logan's nose in it, but she needed Alec to understand.

She hesitated and Alec spoke first, "Ok. I understand. I'm gonna go see Mole."

He closed the door behind him and she went to follow, but Logan reached for her arm, pulling her round to face him.

###

Alec had just used Mole as an excuse, had just planned on walking for a while to clear his head and figure out what to do next, but as he walked down the stairs from their office into command, his leg twinged painfully and he found he didn't really want to think about it all, and he didn't really want to be alone, so he did go looking for Mole after all.

He found Mole in the mess hall reading an old issue of Guns & Ammo and slumped into the chair opposite.

"What's up with you?" Mole enquired, one scaly brow raised.

"Nothin'. What're you doing?"

Mole looked down at the magazine, "Baking cupcakes. What does it look like?"

"Hmm."

"Yeah. Nothing's up with you. Spill it already."

"It's Max."

"Shocker."

"And Logan. They've got the cure for the virus."

"Yeah. And."

"You know about it?"

"Dude, everyone knows."

"What? How long has this been going on?"

"Found it at Manticore when we busted you out."

"Figures." He hadn't stood a chance, his salvation and doom had emerged on the same day.

"So what's the problem?"

"We almost had something. I mean Max is...But I have to let her go." God, his heart felt heavy. How was he going to do it? Taste happiness and give it up?

"Why?"

"Because she's cured. I can't let her be with me out of some misplaced do-gooder thing when she really wants Logan." He knew what was right and thanks to his new found conscience, he'd actually have to act on it.

"Dude, what the hell are you talking about?"

"She's just with me because I told her I love her and she felt obligated. She didn't tell me she was cured. Why would she keep it from me unless she felt bad about wanting to be with Logan really?"

"How the hell would I know why Max does what she does? Do I look like a friggin' therapist? Maybe she just forgot."

"Forgot? Forgot the cure she's been searching for the past year and a half?"

"She didn't seem all that interested when I told her we found it."

"What?"

"Yeah. Figured she'd be relieved or something at least, but she looked...what's the word? Nonplussed?"

"Nonplussed? Max was nonplussed?"

"Yeah. Sort of stunned and not interested at the same time, if that's possible. Felt like I was wasting her time with it. I don't know, right news, wrong time or something. Then you tried to make a break for freedom and collapsed in her arms like a really skinny fairy tale princess, which totally interrupted the conversation and the next I heard she took the cure and it was old news."

"So her and Logan?"

Mole looked at him and shook his head. How the hell did he always end up in these sloppy heart to heart conversations?

"Listen. I'm giving you a free pass on account of you getting tortured for four months to protect us all and obviously it's scrambled your noodle. This is it, one shot deal. After this, don't talk to me about your romantic dramas."

Alec had the decency to look shamefaced.

"Agreed."

"I overheard Max yelling at the ordinary. A couple of times. Over you. That's all I'm gonna say. That and she was miserable the whole time you were gone and she hasn't left your side since you came back. Even I can see what that means. So stop being a dumbass and stop questioning it. I have zero interest in this and I can see she loves you. So get the hell out of here and let me read my magazine in peace."

"Understood. Won't happen again. I'm going now." He got up and headed for the door, "Thanks Mole."

"Whatever."

Mole looked up and once he was sure Alec was out of earshot, muttered, "Anytime, kid."

###

"Max? You didn't even think to tell him? Do I really mean that little to you now?"

She wanted to slump in the chair and cry. She'd hurt both of them. She wanted to go to Alec, put her arms around him and show him how much she loved him, but she owed it to Logan not to just dismiss him.

"I'm so sorry Logan. I never wanted to hurt you. I'm sorry, but it's time for me to front up with you."

"You're really in love with him."

"Yeah, Logan. I love him. I wasn't looking for it, but these last few months, it just snuck up on me. I'm not saying he's perfect. He's still a smart ass and he still winds me up for fun, but I've come to like that. I've come to need it."

"Max, he's not just a smart ass. You don't know what he's done. What he's capable of." He thought back to her reaction to Alec's story about protecting Senator Winstone. He was passing himself off as a hero and Max was falling for it, hook, line and sinker.

"I know, Logan. He's told me the worst of it and it doesn't change how I feel. I never intended to fall in love with him but I can't wish these feelings away."

"He's relying on you because you're helping him. That doesn't mean he cares about you. Could be he's taking advantage because he needs help right now."

Her voice lost its warmth, "I'd be careful dissing Alec around here. I'm not the only one cares about him. And with what he went through for all of us, I'm not the only one tripping with the protective vibe right now. He's not taking advantage. He's barely asked for anything."

Logan sighed; he knew this wasn't the way to go, "I'm sorry, I shouldn't have said that. You really think you can rely on him?"

"Yes. I can laugh and cry with him. I rely on him and I love him. More than I can even say."

"More than you loved me."

"Don't Logan."

"I want to know. I need to know."

"It's different from what I felt for you. I don't know what would have happened between you and me if things turned out different, but it's not like we can go back and change it all now."

"You wouldn't want to."

Max thought about it, weighed it up for a moment. "No. I mean, it's not like life is all candy and puppies here now. We're still under siege and all, but generally? We're doing ok. And me and Alec. I don't want to rub it in or make you unhappy, but I'm happy Logan. First time in a long time. I think there's a future for us...if I didn't just screw it up. Look Logan. I'm sorry. I've got to go."

Max tried not to make it look like she was sprinting away from Logan to get to Alec.

###

Alec had said he was going to see Mole, and Mole was often to be found in the mess hall getting some peace and quiet at this time of day. She lucked out and found him there alone, reading his magazine.

"Mole, you seen Alec?"

Mole looked up wearily, "Thought he went to find you."

"What did he say to you? Is he ok?"

"Oh for the love of... Your boy was all in knots on account of how you didn't tell him you were cured."

"Damnit!"

"Uh huh."

"So what did you say?"

"Told him not to be a dumbass."

"And?"

"And what? So how come you didn't tell him? Figured it wasn't a secret."

"I forgot he didn't know. Ugh! What a screw up!"

"See, that's what I said."

"He believe you?"

"Do I look like some kind of couples therapist? 'Cos I'm not. You want someone to sympathise with your dramas I suggest you call your girl Cindy. Or better yet, Joshua. He seems endlessly fascinated by your ongoing quest to get busy with someone. Now I'll tell you what I told Alec. It's obvious to the whole world that you love him and he loves you. Now leave me alone. I'm busy."

"Right. Of course. I'm going now. Thanks Mole."

"Whatever, Princess. Try not to screw it up this time."

"I'll do my best."

"Good to see him out of that apartment."

"Yeah. It really is, huh?

"How's he doing? Really?"

"They stirred up a lot of stuff. He's more worried about what he did in the past than what they did to him."

"You're trying to do something about that."

"Yeah. How do you forgive yourself for this stuff?"

"You ever figure out an answer to that there'll be a lot of folks around here that'll sleep better."

"He thinks he doesn't deserve to be loved."

"He's a tough kid. He'll get out the other side of this."

"Yeah... You see which way he went?"

Mole gave her an old fashioned look and she raised her hands in surrender, heading out the way she'd come.

###

Max was stressed out. It sure sounded like Mole had done some way above and beyond the call damage control, but the man was laconic, and it depended on how upset Alec was as to how much he'd actually heard of what Mole had said. She needed to find him.

She headed for his apartment in the hopes that he wouldn't be actively avoiding her, and was concentrating so hard on what she was going to say, the perfect words to fix this and make Alec understand what he really meant to her, that she almost ran right into him.

"I'm sorry Maxie."

"I'm so sorry."

The both spoke at once, reaching out hands to each other and grasping tightly.

"What are you sorry for?" Max asked, mystified.

"Got all insecure. I shouldn't have walked out like that. I trust you."

She smiled in relief and stepped in closer to him.

"_I'm_ sorry Alec. I should have told you. I wasn't thinking."

"It's ok Maxie, really. Mole set me straight. Says he's not a relationship therapist, but I think he really ought to give it a go. He's not half bad."

Max grinned, "There's definitely a gap in the market for his brand of no-nonsense advice."

"He said you love me. That it's obvious to everyone."

She blushed and it was so cute he couldn't help a cocky grin. "So I hope it's obvious to you now too?"

"Make it a bit more obvious?"

"My pleasure." She stepped in close and, as he leaned closer too she met his lips with hers, a gentle kiss.

She pulled away just far enough to meet his eyes.

"Alec, I've never been this happy. Thank you for loving me back."

"You're welcome. Any time." She smiled at his response, a flicker of the old devil-may-care Alec.

"It's the same for me Maxie. I can't believe this is really happening. It was just in my imagination for so long."

She slid her hands free of his and lifted them to his shoulders while his hands moved to her hips. Their eyes met, she just looked at him while he looked back and the intimacy of it stole her breath away.

She lifted her hand to stroke his barcode and pulled him closer. His hands came up to caress her face before sliding into her hair. They kissed again, passionately this time. Damn, she'd needed this. She lost herself in the feel of his lips, his hands, his skin under her fingertips, his warm solidity, his heart pounding just as hard and fast as hers.

She was so lucky. She'd got him back against all the odds and he loved her. She was _so_ lucky. Then the thought came unbidden of just how unlikely this had seemed such a short time ago and she stifled a sob.

"Maxie? You ok? Did I do something wrong?"

"I almost lost you Alec. I almost lost you." She pulled him tight into her arms as though she wanted to stay like that forever, would never let him step outside the safety of her arms.

###

Logan didn't know what to do with himself. Max had left him to go and look for Alec. Max had _left_ him. For good this time, he could see that now. She'd ended it before, but he'd always seen the reluctance in her eyes and heard it in her tone. This time it was unequivocal. Her words, her tone, her eyes. It was in the distance she kept and the way she held herself. Her whole body told him it was over. She was over him and she was in love with Alec. _Alec_.

He made his body move, leave the room, make his way home. He turned out of the building and headed down the street that would lead him back to the sewer he'd arrived through. He turned a corner and froze. Just ahead of him was Max. She was at a right angle to him, and she stood, hands joined with Alec's. Logan couldn't look away. They were speaking in low voices that he couldn't discern, then Alec was grinning that Cheshire cat grin of his; the cat that ate the canary; the transgenic who'd stolen away his girl. They kissed then broke apart to exchange a few more words then they were just standing there, looking at each other. Max's face was slightly turned away from him, but he could see Alec's expression, intent and serious and undeniably full of love. Max moved closer, reaching up to pull him into a kiss, more passionate this time. Logan's heart was pounding, he knew he shouldn't be watching. He didn't want to see this, to have this etched in his memory but he couldn't tear his eyes away. When they broke their kiss, they clung to one another, as though each were the other's tether to the earth.

Logan finally forced himself to turn away and find another route. That image, burned on his retinas, was visible, tangible proof of what he'd lost. When you thought about it, he and Max had had so little physical contact, even before the virus. She'd never clung to him like that, never kissed him like she might never be able to stop, never stood and just looked at him like his very existence was a miracle.

Had everything he'd thought they had been a lie? Max had said she'd loved him; that it was different with Alec, but she and Logan had been no less real. But was she just letting him down gently? He felt hollowed out inside. Like he wasn't yearning for something he'd lost, but for something he'd never even had. Wasted time, wasted opportunity. What if he'd fought harder? Pushed her harder? Told her frequently and often how much he loved her? Would he be the one standing there kissing her? Or did all roads lead here? Were Alec and Max the Manticore version of _meant to be_? Matched genetically in the test tube to be ideal breeding partners?

###

They stood together for a long time. Long enough for Alec's healing body to start trying to attract his attention. As if sensing his discomfort, Max loosened her hold on him, and they parted enough to take hands. She led the way back to Alec's place.

Inside the door, Max suddenly felt self-conscious. That kiss had rocked her world and she still felt it on her lips, in her heart and somewhere altogether less innocent. She wanted him badly. Now. But as usual in these situations, she was crippled with indecision. Was it too soon? Would it hurt Alec? Tire him out too much? Would he respect her in the morning? She smirked at that glib thought. Alec had already proven his constancy even before they'd declared their feelings. This wasn't casual for either of them, it would be sealing their commitment, joining their souls. But should she initiate it now? If she was in heat she'd just jump him and take what she wanted. There was something to be said for the reckless abandon of heat, if the right guy was in reach: the one that moved her, inhabited her heart, both excited and steadied her. He definitely was.

Alec pushed the door closed and the latch clicked loudly in the quiet room. It had seemed clear when they broke their kiss and came back home what was going to happen next. His head was spinning. He'd imagined kissing her so many times but the reality was... he didn't have a word that wasn't overused and hackneyed.

It had changed everything for him, ignited something inside him that burned deep and intense. And just looking in her yes, just holding each other, he'd never had anything that intimate, had never felt so accepted, known through and through for all his strengths and faults, and so loved.

He wanted her wholly; with every part of his body and soul he wanted her body and soul. But was it too soon? Max wasn't a dive in headfirst kind of woman. She needed to be sure. She'd never got there with Logan. Was it different with him? Did she really feel as strongly as he did? Was she ready to commit to him completely?

She was standing next to him and she looked poised, tense, the cat in her almost ready to jump away if startled. He didn't want to scare her off or ruin it somehow.

She cleared her throat a little nervously, "Alec, how're you feeling?"

It sounded so casual that he was a little thrown.

"I mean, are you tired? Sore?"

"No. I'm good."

"Good."

She launched herself into his arms and all his doubts were forgotten.

###

Logan found himself in Crash with a large glass of whiskey in his hand. It was a mistake to have come here because, of course, he'd run into Original Cindy and the last thing he wanted was a dose of straight talking. He'd had enough of that for one day. Not that Cindy cared about that.

"Look Logan. I always rooted for you two crazy kids, but you gotta accept, things changing'. I don't get to see my girl that much these days. I know she still has OC's back, but she got other priorities now. I respect that."

"I respect Max has to look out for TC now. That's not what this is Cindy. It's-"

"I know what it is Logan, you jealous about Max and Alec."

"I'm not-" Was there even any point in denying it?

"Yeah, you are. And I gotta be honest with you, you right to be. I heard how she talked about him these past few months. This ain't a fling: she loves that boy. I'm sorry Logan, but that's just facts."

"But if she would just..."

"No boo. She just feels what she feels."

"He's not good enough for her. She needs to understand."

"Ain't your place to say it."

"You agree with me though, right? She can't trust him."

"I think Max has a good head on her shoulders. I think she knows who she wants to be with and I'm sorry for you it didn't work out but I like Alec too. Boy's good for her. Has her back, looks out for her, makes her laugh. He's not like he was when he first came to Seattle."

"Yeah. He's changed. What happens when he changes back?"

"Max don't think he changed. Thinks he just figured out who he is."

"You believe that?"

"I know you and me can't ever really know what they went through in that place. What it cost to stay human, or what it would've been like to suddenly taste freedom."

Logan downed his whiskey and gestured for the bartender to refill his glass and leave the bottle. Luckily Cindy's attention was drawn away from him to a strikingly beautiful young woman who sashayed confidently across the bar, put a possessive arm around her and kissed her suggestively on the neck.

"Logan, you know Hope right?"

"Yeah. Good to see you again. I'll leave you ladies to it." He'd had enough of company. What he really felt like doing was drinking alone.

###

Max woke first, stretching lazily, but careful not to wake Alec or break the contact of his arm circling her waist as they lay face to face. She took in the sight of him, relaxed in sleep and she was sure he looked different somehow. She didn't think he'd had a nightmare last night.

She'd wondered what it would be like to _sleep_ with Alec all those nights she'd been sleeping next to him.

Well, she'd given him a hard time in the past for tom-catting around, but she had to admit, he hadn't wasted his time. She was finally ready to forgive all those extra Jam Pony shifts after he'd got caught dating two co-workers and they'd both quit – especially since she'd flaked out on most of those extra shifts anyway...

Now she was seeing the benefits. She bit her lip on a wide grin as her body relived the previous night. Her eyes drifted closed and her toes curled at the memory.

She gently stroked her fingertips across his eyebrow and up into his hair, which had grown a little, still shorter than he'd used to wear it, but not the shaved stubble he'd had when she'd found him. The wounds were fading to scars now and he was still thin, too thin, but he was filling out gradually. His skin was a little flushed in sleep. God, he was beautiful. She couldn't stop looking at him. He looked like a sculpture, a work of art. The mischievous thought occurred to her that she could get him to pose for the art class so she could have a painting of him up on the wall to look at whenever she wanted. And not one of Joshua's abstract paintings...

She ran her fingertips down over his cheekbone down to his lips that were still a little plump from all the kissing they'd done last night.

She couldn't decide whether she wanted to keep looking or have him wake up so he'd talk to her, pull her into his arms and take her back to the stratosphere.

She leaned in and kissed his forehead, then his nose, then his lips and pulled back to see the effect as his arm tightened a little on her waist. He smiled sleepily and opened eyes still a little dazed.

"Hey, it works," Max whispered, "Sleeping Beauty awakens with a kiss."

"Someday my princess will come?" he whispered back.

"She's already here. You better not be waiting on another one."

"No way. Got my hands full with this one. Fairest in the land too, you know."

"Yeah?"

"By a long, long way."

He pulled her closer and kissed her in return: forehead, nose and lips, lingering over the lips.

"Maxie?"

"Yeah?"

"Last night..."

"What?"

"It's never been that way for me. I never felt that close to anyone before. I always held back, you know? It was just physical. But with you..."

"With me?" she whispered breathlessly.

"I belong to you now, Max. I gave you everything last night."

Max couldn't breathe. She'd hoped it had been as good for him as it had been for her. She hadn't wanted to ask in case she didn't like the answer, something like, "Well, it was fun but you know what, that blonde a few months back? She was the best. The things she could do with her..." Tears welled up and she wasn't sure she'd be able to get the words past the lump in her throat. But you didn't hear words like she just had and let them go unacknowledged.

"I'm not sure when I started loving you Alec, but I've known for a while, and without doubt, that you're the one I've been looking for, the one I've given my whole heart to. No holding back or dancing around it, no protecting myself just in case. I love you completely. And I'm yours too.

Alec's smile wasn't cocky, it wasn't a smirk. There wasn't a flicker of arrogance or amusement in it. It was an out and out smile of honest joy and she'd never seen anything so beautiful.

"It's a big responsibility this taking care of someone's heart. You think we're up to it? Damaged, screwed up, hinky DNA freaks that we are?" Max asked, reflecting his joy in her own smile.

"If there's one thing I've learned from you Maxie, it's how to look out for my unit. You and me? We're gonna rock at this."

They'd said and heard what they needed to. They fell back into each others' embrace and let the moment take them.

###

Logan was still raw inside, and the idea of being near Max with no hope of being with her felt more than just a touch beyond him, but he'd decided to swallow his pride.

After leaving Crash he'd stumbled home and spent the rest of the evening directing a thousand yard stare of chronic moroseness into a bottomless beaker of scotch.

It was a beaker because White's brain dead lackeys had taken troglodytic delight in smashing every last crystal tumbler he'd owned in his penthouse. Joshua's place had plastic beakers. A crystal tumbler was appropriate for heartbreak, but perhaps a scratched plastic beaker was even more apt. It spoke of misery and hopelessness, of sordid decline. At least the scotch was good.

So it was with a pounding headache that he sucked it up and headed back to TC. Eyes Only was the voice of the people. He couldn't very well give up on the biggest story of the decade just because of a queasy stomach, a bruised ego and a broken heart. It was _his_ scoop and he for damn sure wasn't going to lose that along with Max.

###

They started at the sound of fists pounding on the door and the raised voices of Mole and Gem.

Alec opened the door, moving slightly ahead of Max in what she immediately recognised as a protective reaction to the possibility of a threat. She was both touched and alarmed – she didn't want him risking himself for her again and she wanted him to understand that she felt equally protective of him.

"Where's the fire?" Alec demanded grumpily.

"Team just came in. White's back."

"What happened? Is anyone hurt?"

"No. They got away clean, but it was close. He's up and running with a team again. No Feds, all familiars. May be that he's cut ties with official channels since we handed his ass to him."

"May be that some covert channels are even friendlier since we're not public enemy number one right now. Stands to reason we'd see a backlash." Alec observed. "And it makes him even more dangerous if he's trying to prove something." He added darky.

"I want a debrief with the team." Max's eyes flicked to Alec, "Command; one hour."

A whole hour for a shit, shower and shave? Were they even soldiers anymore? Max was wearing one of Alec's t-shirts and not much else, while Alec had hastily pulled on a pair of jeans which he was holding up with one hand since they were still too loose. Their hair was sticking up all over the place. Mole and Gem raised their eyebrows at each other.

Max closed the door on them and turned back to the bedroom to find something to wear. She'd realised the other day when she couldn't find a shirt at her place that she'd left a significant amount of stuff at Alec's; she had already co-opted a de facto girlfriend drawer. She wasn't going to say anything yet, but in her heart she'd pretty much already moved in with him.

She lifted the curtain and peered out. It looked cold. She'd wear one of his sweaters. Max had taken to wearing Alec's sweaters for comfort while he'd been missing. Then it had been bittersweet. Since he'd been back, she loved wearing them. It was a soppy thought that she would never voice aloud, but it felt like being hugged.

She opened his wardrobe in search of her favourite snugly green hoodie and found something even better. Alec had pushed his clothes to one side, leaving half the rail empty. She turned at the sound of his voice from the doorway.

"Hey Maxie? Purely hypothetical question based on the practical considerations of a growing community. Do you still need your apartment?"

###

They arrived at the debrief only a little late, only a little flushed and only at little dishevelled and took their seats, aiming for expressions of focused professionalism, which were undermined only a little by their inability to look at anyone but each other.

No one made any comment on Alec being back on the job, they were just glad to see him there and for things to finally be getting back to how they should be. It was still kind of shocking how thin he was and, though it was less pronounced, he was still limping a little, but he didn't look sick. He looked...elated. And so did Max.

Neither Max nor Alec noticed the significant looks, raised eyebrows, leers or elbows jabbed into sides. Still, in spite of their preoccupation, once the meeting got started they did a pretty passable job of concentrating on the matter at hand.

The team had been out on a semi-legitimate supply run, a buy of medical supplies from a sympathetic dealer. The supplies were legit. The money they were paying with, less so; it was the product of some Robin Hood style burglaries, money from the rich given to, well, them. And of course they'd had to sneak past the perimeter, although recently the sneaking had been more for appearances. The authorities didn't have the resources to keep a tight rein all the time – the transgenics weren't the only troublemakers in Seattle after all – so there were gaps they could exploit, as long as they didn't make it obvious that was what they were doing and provoke a crackdown.

Since it was easier to get out and because of the close calls they'd had in the past, they never scrimped on look outs anymore, so White had been spotted and a signal had gone out early enough to allow them to go to their contingency plans.

They'd established some useful intel on White's resources: he'd been running his mission with a team of six backing him up and their equipment, weapons and vehicles still looked to be high-end, so he was either back in the good books or valued enough to be given a fighting chance to prove himself.

What they hadn't been able to establish was how he'd tracked them down.

Luke and Dix's team were tasked with checking comms protocols and investigating whether White had somehow broken their encrypted frequency. They hoped this was the answer: knowledge was power and they could feed disinformation through a compromised link while working on a beefed up new system. Win/win.

There was the worry that they'd got complacent, allowing surveillance to go unnoticed. They had to admit that was a definite possibility, and Mole's team would be ensuring that ingress and egress protocols were tightened and enforced as a precaution.

The worst case scenario was a traitor in their midst. Nobody wanted to go there until every other avenue of investigation was exhausted.

Max dismissed the team to their tasks and she and Alec were alone by the conference table.

"Always something, huh?"

"Kinda hoped when we put him down he'd stay down."

"Yeah, well. Might be we have to look at something more permanent now. Guy has a seriously shallow learning curve."

Max was pensive. She enjoyed handing out a well-deserved smack-down as much as the next ass-kicking chick, and who deserved it more than White? Still, there were considerations. White had connections, and they still weren't sure how high those went.

They could rain down bigger trouble on themselves if they weren't careful.

Plus, she hated thinking in these terms. In the moment, sure, things might happen, but knowing ahead of time that it was in the plan was different.

Alec sensed her disquiet, "We're not talking assassination here, Maxie, just self defence. We held him off last time but he's just gonna keep coming. I mean, leaving him taped to a post in nothing but his underwear had serious style, but you know we're not Batman and he's not the Riddler who'll come back week after week for the comedy smack-down. He'll just kill us if we give him the chance."

She sighed, "I know you're right. And in the thick of it we can't worry about retribution."

"Right. They already want to exterminate every last one of us. What more can they do just because we take out some of theirs?"

"Yeah." Alec hated to hear Max's voice so flat and instinctively reached out for her. She gratefully accepted his embrace, sighing against his chest.

"You're not the bad guy, Maxie."

"_We're_ not the bad guys... I'm glad you're here with me. I wouldn't want to handle this stuff alone."

"I'm glad I'm here with you. I wouldn't want you to have to."

"Max?" Logan's voice behind her wasn't loud but it surprised her and she had to suppress the thought she'd been caught doing something wrong, forcing herself to move deliberately and not spring away from Alec guiltily.

"Logan." Awkward much? She hadn't expected to see him so soon. What the hell should she say?

"Uh...so...you ok?" Lame!

"Yeah. We didn't really finish talking yesterday."

She'd told him it was over, said she was sorry. What the hell else was he expecting her to say? Did he want blood? She obviously looked horrified.

"I mean our meeting. We were talking about building on the story."

"Oh. Right! Yeah."

She heard Alec suppress a snigger at her discomfort and dug her finger into his side in retaliation. Oh yeah, he was getting back to normal all right.

"Thing is, it's not a great time. One of our teams had a run in with White."

"White's back?"

"And just as ugly as ever. So we're looking into how he might have got the drop on us."

Alec gave her hand a squeeze and turned towards Luke, who'd approached clutching some print outs. They stepped away to give Max a semblance of privacy, clearing aside the away team's scattered equipment to make some room at the table. Not that they couldn't still hear every word, but it was a gesture.

Max flicked her eyes to Alec then turned back to Logan.

"I guess we need to know where we are with all this before we can think about being all pro-active about brand image, you know?"

"I disagree, Max. Improving your image can only help. White's relying on the public's negative perception of transgenics. And for the record, I still think the documentary is a great opportunity to tell the transgenic story."

"Well I guess it suits you to think that," she snapped. "Things are better, but White's still chosen to come at us now. I don't know, Logan, I just don't see White and his freaky cult giving a crap what Joe Public thinks about us. He's the bigger threat right now and we need to focus."

"When's it going to be a good time, Max? The story's gonna go cold." Logan allowed his impatience to leak into his tone.

"Gee, I don't know Logan. Maybe when we're not worried about getting picked off by a bunch of psychotic snake people. This isn't just a story to us, Logan. This is our lives. We need to play it safe. My only priority is keeping everyone safe."

"Little Fella? White back?" Joshua tapped on her shoulder.

"Hey Big Fella, where you been? Yeah, he's back, but we're working on it."

"No one hurt?"

Logan kicked himself. Damn, he hadn't thought to ask that.

"No, Josh. Everyone got away clean."

"We make plan?"

"Yeah, working on it. Let's see what Dix has cooking, huh?" They turned towards the consoles. She just needed a break to get a lid on her frustration.

Logan paced, trying to figure out his next move. Maybe if he'd shown more concern she'd be listening to him more? Maybe he just shouldn't have come. It was more painful than he'd thought to see her so soon. To walk in and see her standing there holding Alec. Were they joined at the hip now?

The story wasn't just for the greater glory of Eyes Only, but he could see that was what she thought.

His pacing unconsciously brought him to where Alec was standing and, without warning, Luke grabbed his papers and made himself scarce.

Logan shifted awkwardly and met Alec's eyes.

"Look, I never said thank you for getting us out of that warehouse."

"Yeah. And I can tell you really don't want to, so I'm gonna make it easy on you. I didn't do it for you. It was for Max."

"Well. You must be happy, you got what you wanted: you and Max are breeding partners finally."

Something in Logan's tone really got to Alec this time, something mocking and he couldn't let it go. Max still thought Logan was a decent guy.

"I know you don't think much of me and that's fine; the feeling's mutual. But don't ever talk about Max that way. We're not breeding partners. We're not animals. We're human beings, albeit with a few refinements. We have human emotions. We love each other."

"You think you're good enough for her? Does she know who you really are? What you've done?"

"She knows the worst of me and for some reason she's still here. I know she's better than me but that's ok. She thinks there's hope for me and I guess I've found some hope in myself."

Logan wanted to sneer, but Alec was different. There was nothing cocky or arrogant in what he'd just said. But did Max really know the worst of it? Could she forgive? Alec had done stuff that would send him to the electric chair if the cops found out. Did she not care about that?

"Logan, you told me once you just wanted her to be happy. You told me to look out for her. That's what I'm doing. I don't know why she chose me, I'm just grateful she did. I'm not gonna let her down. That's it now, I belong to her.

###

Logan slumped into a chair as the activity around him continued. He wasn't part of this world, never would be. Alec and Max seemed to fit somehow. As they stood in different areas of the room, talking to different people, he could see they were both so aware of each other, every so often exchanging a look and a smile.

He shouldn't have said that about breeding partners. Alec was right, it was crass. He wondered if Alec would tell Max what he'd said. Everything was spinning further and further away from him.

###

Robert Corrigan stared out of his hotel room window. For sanctuary to a man on the run, it wasn't a bad place. A comfortable room from which to contemplate his next move.

The breakout and subsequent Eyes Only broadcast were unmitigated disasters. Suddenly pockets of transgenic sympathy were growing, the cause gaining traction. And if he reflected, he had to admit the screw up was primarily his. He'd deviated from the plan.

The ambush had worked like a charm. He should have just put 452 and 494 down then and there, not even waited for the show trial and public execution. He should have delivered their corpses back to their little army then waited for them all to come crawling back. But 494 had blindsided him with his offer, too good to be true, but too good to refuse.

He'd fallen for it. 494 knew how to play a game like no one else. He'd made himself bait to a trap and Corrigan had stepped right in. He'd seen possibilities in working on 494, using him to break the transgenic community from within more effectively than he could with a shot taken in a warehouse, but the boy had proved harder to crack than ever.

He couldn't deny that what 494 had said about him having fun the last time was true. Self-serving as he could be, 494 was slippery under pressure, had always found ways to protect his core self.

It looked like finding a mission of his own had strengthened him further. If he didn't know better, he'd suspect that 494 was unbreakable. He wasn't. Corrigan just hadn't found the right weapon yet. So he'd kept pushing, kept looking for that chink in the armour, beyond sense, beyond his own judgement. He should have cut his losses months ago, but he'd allowed himself to be distracted, to get caught up in the challenge. And he'd waited too long.

The move to Seattle had been necessary, but there too the timing had been misjudged. And now he'd lost his remaining force of transgenics, his staff had dispersed and he and his team were fugitives, the implicit support he'd had from on high suddenly not to be relied on.

Everyone was covering themselves and he suspected he would be the scapegoat.

He had one last card to play. One that could get it all back for him. He had a way to strike at the heart of Terminal City, to take the shot he should have taken all those months ago. And he might have underestimated them before, but they'd sure as hell underestimated him. They'd pay for leaving him hogtied. They should have killed him when they had the chance. Their mercy would be their downfall.

494 may have proved beyond his abilities to mould, but his new weapon was clay in his hands.

He checked the tracker screen one last time. The asset was in place. He picked up the phone and dialled.

"Odysseus. Burn Troy."

He hung up. He only wished he could be there to see what happened next.

###

"Affirmative." Logan pressed the button to disconnect the call, slipped the phone back in his pocket then smoothly and calmly pulled a gun out of his waistband, raising it to point straight at Max's head...

###

**Continues soon... **

**I hope you're still with me! I had a tough time with this chapter. I didn't want to overdo the sentimentality, but I think I probably did. I shied away from a full on bedroom scene – if Ian McEwan (one of my favourite writers) can get nominated for the Bad Sex in Fiction award, then there's no way I'm going there...**


	8. Never Let Me Go

**Disclaimer: Even the notion! I don't own Dark Angel, just the box sets, my laptop and the disturbing contents of my own brain.**

**A/N: Had some writer's block lately. This chapter's been like pulling teeth and I keep getting ideas for Supernatural stories instead. I'm rubbish at self-discipline, but I'm really sorry to have kept people waiting. I know how frustrating it is to read a story and then find it just stops in the middle and never gets updated, and it's not good form when you've sent me such kind reviews. Thanks so much to everyone for reading. The alerts and the encouraging graphs on my stats page are fantastic inspiration. Thanks in particular to those who've taken the time to review (especially those who've reviewed more than one, or even every chapter): la physocologue, Caruka, Dark-Supernatural-Angel, 452max, anybody-out-there, patsan, glambert, nell9, kasia1992, Ashley Elaine, BETHsaysRAWR, Chronicles of an Insomniac, superscar, ice-princess73, iceteddy2001, , blueballad, Lisa Paris, Lightrain, Guiltypleasures exposed, bob0045, .dreamer, Scorp76, Michellena317, Kat27, Kammy97, hpfan1987, Angelap316 and Ilovefanfictions. You all rock!**

**My medical knowledge is based on an unhealthy obsession with ER back in the day, some quick checks on Wikipedia and a one day first aid course I took recently. A little knowledge is a dangerous thing. Not beta read, so all typos and glaring plot holes are my own fault.**

**This story will now be measured on the Spinal Tap scale: this angst-o-meter goes up to 11. **

**Ok, enough wittering on from me; on with the show. The story so far: Max and Alec finally declared their love for each other. A run in with White had them gearing up defence, only to find that another enemy wasn't yet done with them yet and Logan was behaving very strangely indeed... **

**###**

**Chapter eight: Never Let Me Go**

"Affirmative." The word was incongruous in Logan's voice and Alec glanced over at him curiously, his eyes widening in disbelief as Logan slipped his cell phone back in his pocket and, his expression bland, almost absent, pulled a pistol from his waistband to draw a bead on Max.

Too far away to tackle Logan, Alec shouted a warning as he blurred faster than he thought possible, grabbing a Kevlar vest from the away team's discarded equipment on the table, then, pulling Max into his arms, he turned his back to Logan.

Just as he felt the first bullet hit him high on the left side of his back, he slid the vest between his chest and Max's head, drawing her in tight, sheltered from the attack. He felt another bullet tear through him lower down and closer to the middle of his back, throwing him forward as two final rounds slammed into the right side of his back and his right arm.

He tasted blood rising from the back of his throat. He put out a hand to break their fall, but the arm wouldn't take the weight and buckled under Max's body.

###

Max's face was squashed into the vest under Alec's chest. He was surprisingly heavy and his weight made it uncomfortable to breathe. She was annoyed. High-handed Alec, playing the hero, again. Taking the opportunity to cop a feel while she was down too, no doubt. And what the hell just happened? Gunfire. Logan raising a gun and firing. She needed to get up, see what was happening, but Alec was still on top of her. What the hell? It was all over, why was he still holding her down?

"Alec, get offa me!" she groused, raising her hands to his arms to push him up. Her left hand felt wetness, and torn fabric.

"Alec? Alec, can you hear me?" Mole was suddenly kneeling beside them. She tried again to move.

"Hold still, Max. Let me see what's what."

He was silent for a moment. "Is he alive?" It was another voice, Gem's she thought.

"He's out. There's a lot of blood. Looks like he took all four rounds."

Max lay still trying to process the words. Blood? Who was bleeding? Was Alec bleeding?

Reinforcements had arrived, Gem and Joshua were helping Mole roll Alec off her, laying him on a blanket next to her on the floor. Freed, Max sat up to see that Ralph had Logan face down on the floor, pinned with a knee in his back, his hands already bound with a cable tie. The gun was disassembled and lying on the ground close to Ralph's free hand. Logan wasn't struggling, his face a mask of horror and disbelief.

He caught her eye, "Max..."

She turned away, not ready to deal yet. She didn't want to deal with any of this; she couldn't look to her right where she knew Alec was lying on the floor. Time was moving strangely, speeding up, slowing down; jumping. Sound kept coming in and out. Everything was so bright, and too precise. A detached part of her brain knew it was shock affecting her perceptions, but she couldn't quite get a handle on her overwhelmed feelings.

She'd heard Alec's warning and looked up to see what the problem was, but there had been no time to react before Alec was spinning her away from the threat. She saw the gun again, raised towards them. That gun in Logan's hand had looked so wrong, so out of place.

The click of the trigger being pulled, the bang of the explosive charge, the scrape and whoosh of the bullet flying out of the barrel: her transgenic hearing had distinguished each discrete sound.

The sound of bullets impacting with flesh and bone. Four bullets. She'd heard that too. She looked down at the Kevlar vest in her lap and noted distantly that there was a bullet lodged in the front plate. One of the bullets had gone right through Alec's body, but he'd prevented even that from harming her. There was blood on the vest's fabric, and then she realised, coating her hand too, where she'd touched Alec's arm.

Finally she forced her attention back on to Alec. She wasn't sure how long she'd been zoned out but it could only have been a few seconds. Mole was leaning over Alec, shaking him, shouting in his face, "Alec, wake up! Stay with me man...Alec, breathe!" She jolted to full awareness as Mole slapped Alec hard across the cheek, "Alec! Wake up!"

Alec's eyes snapped open and she heard him cough. Mole leaned back on his heels. "Don't do that to us, man. Stay awake ok? Medics are on their way."

Gem's hand was pressed down on Alec's chest and Max's heart lurched as she saw blood leaking out from between Gem's fingers and more blood soaking into the blanket beneath him. She slid close to him and grabbed his hand off the ground, curling it into hers, resting it in her lap.

Alec rolled his head towards her, blinking wearily. "Maxie? You ok?" his voice was a whisper but the irritation to his throat set off another cough that brought up blood. Max swallowed her panic, she needed to be calm and in control for him now. She pulled her hand inside her sleeve, using it to wipe away the blood streaming down his cheek. "I'm only ok if you are, Alec. You have to hang on, ok?"

"Blood on your sweater," there was no volume to his voice; mostly she read the words on his lips.

"It's your blood, Alec. You saved me."

He opened his mouth as though to speak again, but she put a finger to his lips. "Don't try to talk, ok, just relax. You're gonna be ok, we're gonna take care of you. You stay with me, ok?"

His eyes drifted closed, and when he didn't open them after a few seconds, she called his name, "Alec? Alec, open your eyes. Stay with me, ok? Alec, wake up." A few more seconds and his eyes opened once more. "Alec, you stay awake, ok? That's an order."

He nodded slowly. She squeezed his hand and his tightened a little in response. He was breathing in shallow gasps. He coughed again and more blood came up. He was losing colour rapidly, his skin clammy, his lips turning blue. He was going into shock.

"Alec, just hold on ok? I need you and I love you. I can't do this without you." She kept talking to him and he kept his eyes locked with hers. Then she realised his gaze had lost focus; he wasn't looking at her anymore. His eyes drifted closed. "Alec? Alec, can you hear me?"

Mole bent over him, listening. "He's stopped breathing. I can't feel a pulse."

"No, no, no, Alec, don't do this!"

Mole positioned with his hands over the centre of Alec's chest and nodded to Max. She quickly rolled Alec's head to face the ceiling, tilted his chin back and forced two breaths into his mouth. Then Mole was pressing down hard on his chest, counting off the fast rhythm of CPR in time with her own heart.

She had to work hard to force air past the blood pooling in his throat. She tried not to think about what she was doing, who she was doing it to; she tried not to think that this was Alec, who loved her, who she loved with every cell of her body, lying bleeding, maybe dying. She ignored the horror of tasting his blood, of joining her lips with his not in a kiss but in a desperate attempt to save his life. She refused to think about how recently she'd done this before; in the truck bringing him home from Manticore, when she'd had to take over breathing for Alec when he was too weak to breathe for himself.

###

Max focused on the next breath, then the next, and then she felt herself gently pulled away by Gem's firm hands as a mask was placed over Alec's nose and mouth, and Cam took over breathing for him, squeezing the bag to push the air in.

Jin took hold of Alec's t-shirt at the neck and tore it open all the way down to his waist, then began attaching electrodes to his chest. Max could finally see the wound Gem had been covering and she felt sick. It was ragged and huge and she could see bubbles of air in the blood pouring from it.

Jin flicked the switch on the machine so that it gave a high pitched whine and displayed an erratic green line that showed what they already knew: Alec was slipping away.

"V-fib. I'm charging to 200. Clear."

Alec's body jolted as the charge arced through his chest and the monitor traced a corresponding leap and then returned to the same erratic pattern.

Callie pushed an IV into Alec's arm, injecting adrenaline, then connecting a bag of IV fluids. She placed a second IV and this time attached a bag of blood to replace some of the volume he was losing. She handed the bag to Max, "Squeeze that. Get it in fast as you can, ok Max?"

Max nodded and did as she was told.

Mole continued compressions until Jin again called "Charging to 360. Clear!"

"Callie, it's really hard to ventilate," Cam's voice was tight and controlled.

Callie nodded and turned to her bag, pulling more supplies out.

Max counted as Mole gave another thirty compressions and then moved back as Jin again placed the paddles and gave a third shock. Again the trace jumped and then showed the same irregular rhythm. Jin indicated that Mole should try another round.

Callie handed Max another bag of blood, "Keep squeezing. Gotta try and keep his blood volume up." Again Max nodded, her gaze darting between the monitor and Alec's pale face.

Cam laid the mask aside and took a handful of equipment from Callie, quickly placing a tube into Alec's throat and connecting the bag and squeezing again. Callie checked the placement of the tube, listening to the breaths through a stethoscope, "Good placement, but there's no breath sounds on the left, right's pretty congested too. We're gonna need to put in a drain."

"Clear," the fourth shock gave the same result.

"I think the bleeding's putting too much pressure on his heart. I'm gonna try aspirating. Mole, stop compressions."

"What?"

"I need to get a needle in there, drain the blood that's keeping his heart from beating right."

"You're gonna stick a needle in his heart?"

"Mole, trust me!"

Reluctantly Mole removed his hands, and Max's heartbeat counted the seconds his heart wasn't beating. The needle was huge, and Max felt queasy at the sight of it sinking into his chest. Callie withdrew the plunger and the syringe filled with blood. She detached it and emptied the blood into a basin, then reattached the syringe to the needle and filled it once more. This time she withdrew the needle too.

"Ok Mole, start compressions again. I'm giving him more adrenaline. Jin, get ready to shock him again."

Finally the fifth shock had an effect, the monitor showing a fast but regular pattern. Jin exhaled loudly, "Ok, he's back in sinus rhythm."

Max raised a shaking hand to her face, leaving a smear of blood on her cheek as she tried to wipe away tears she only now acknowledged she was shedding.

"Ok, good. I'm gonna place the chest tube now. Get ready to move him as soon as the drain's in." Callie, scalpel in hand, quickly and clinically sliced into the space between Alec's ribs and forced a plastic tube into the wound. Blood immediately started flowing out into the bag clipped into the other end. She laid the bag on the floor and Max watched it filling rapidly.

Callie put the stethoscope back to his chest, hearing the improved sounds as Cam squeezed the bag. She caught his eye looking for his confirmation, "Getting easier to bag," he nodded.

"Mole, get that stretcher over here now. We need to get him to surgery now while he's stable." As they got the stretcher into position, Callie switched out the two empty bags of blood and handed two new full ones to Max, "Keep squeezing them in, ok?"

There was a count of three, and Alec was rolled onto his side carefully and the stretcher pushed underneath him. Max gasped at the sight of his back. Three small wounds spanned his back, blood streaming from each and his back was coated with it. And there was the fourth wound in his right arm, the one she'd touched when he was lying on top of her, when she'd tried to push him off.

###

The medics worked together as a well oiled machine: quick, efficient and precise, but Max was terrified. They weren't fully qualified trauma surgeons. Transgenics were capable of learning new skills to an expert level extremely fast, but Callie, Cam and Jin had mostly taught themselves, and no matter how much they had learned from books, how deep their theoretical knowledge, they didn't have the practical experience. They'd patched up minor wounds, delivered babies, and they'd done a great job of taking care of Alec after his rescue, but something like this? And still, Max had no choice but to trust Alec's life to them.

She drew in a shaky breath, "Guys, can you do this? Can you save him?"

The three met Max's eye, and without any hesitation, Callie answered, "We're gonna do everything possible. If he can be saved, we'll save him." She paused, then added, "We're gonna need blood. You guys can organise donations, right?"

Gem responded, taking charge, "How much?"

"Just keep it coming."

###

"Callie, do you really believe we can do this?" Jin asked, his confidence slipping now they were behind closed doors and he didn't need to worry about being overheard.

Callie clipped the ventilator hoses to the intubation tube and flipped the switch to start the machine breathing for Alec, "We _are_ doing this. Look, this is what we've been studying for. We knew something like this could happen. It's not like we can just call an ambulance. They wouldn't be allowed in and even if they were, they wouldn't get him to another hospital in time. We're it. We help him now or he dies. You wanna go out there and tell them we lost Alec?"

Jin blanched at the idea, "Hell no."

She snapped on her surgical gloves, "You cool?"

He released a shuddering breath and squared his shoulders, "Yeah...ok."

"Cam?"

Cam was squeezing through another unit of blood with one hand, and already hooking up a replacement, "Let's get this done."

###

Gem directed Ralph, Fixit and Zero in setting up a blood drive, with Max, Mole and Joshua asserting family rights to be first.

It was only when Max took off Alec's hoodie that they realised she'd been hit. She'd been too distracted to notice the hole in the fabric, too covered in Alec's blood to realise any of it was hers, and too anaesthetised by adrenaline to feel any pain. It was a nasty scrape on her left biceps, corresponding with the wound in Alec's right, caused by the same bullet.

Ralph tried to fuss with stitches, but Max batted her away and slapped a square of gauze over it, urging Ralph to stick some tape over the bandage and get down to business.

Max's only thought on seeing the wound was to be grateful it wasn't bad enough to prevent her from helping Alec. She was much more upset about the damage to Alec's hoodie.

###

"We need to deal with this now!" Mole stated angrily. "He's a danger to us." Mole was pacing the corridor outside the makeshift operating room.

"Mole, chill, ok," Dix leaned against the wall, not wanting to impede Mole's progress. "He's not a threat. He's locked up. He's an ordinary. We have time to figure this out. We owe it to-"

Mole got right up in Dix's face, "We owe him _nothing_! He did those stories for his own reasons. He got as much from them as we did."

Dix raised his hands in surrender, "Hey, not arguing with that! I don't care about Logan. It's Max we owe. We need to leave it to her to decide."

Mole stepped back, but kept his eyes locked on Dix's. "She's too soft hearted to deal with this how it needs to be done. We need to do it for her."

"Do what for me?" None of them had heard her approach and they started guiltily, except Mole, who just turned to her and groaned.

"Max. Didn't want you to have to deal with this right now."

"Deal with what, Mole? Spill already."

"Logan. We need to deal with Logan."

"And when you say deal, you mean..."

"End him."

"We're not gonna do that Max. Mole, tell her you don't mean it. You're upset," Dix remonstrated.

"I mean it. I want the ordinary dead. For what he just did? Damn right I mean it. I'll do it with my bare hands."

Mole was visibly shaking with anger and Max tried to keep her voice calm, "Mole, stop. We need to talk about this."

"You're gonna defend him? Max, Alec is lying in there bleeding; having air forced into him through a plastic tube. We've got practically every transgenic in this camp lined up to give blood for him. We could lose him."

"Mole, I know...I know, ok." She blinked and the tears that had been threatening to spill rolled onto her cheeks, "I have his blood on my..." Unable to continue, she indicated her t-shirt and the ruined hoodie in her hand.

"But we're not murderers. And no matter how I feel right now I can't believe Logan would do this willingly."

"So you are gonna defend him!" Mole refused to be distracted by Max's tears. If he let go of his anger, what would he be left with?

"I thought it was supposed to be over between you and the ordinary. I thought you told Alec you love him."

Max bristled and stepped closer to Mole, "What did you just say?"

"You can't have it both ways, Max. You said you wanted to be with Alec but you never told the ordinary to leave for good. Something was like this was bound to happen."

Mole knew he was out of line but he couldn't seem to stop himself. He wasn't used to feeling like this. Usually he could stay pretty detached, but somehow Alec had got under his skin; made his friendship necessary to Mole. And the thought of losing that friendship...

Mole's assessment of what had happened was so wildly off the mark that Max's anger deflated.

"I'm not defending him, Mole." She spoke gently, "I just need to know what really happened. Not just 'cos I know Logan, but for us too, for tactics. Look, I don't know what we should do for the best. I don't know. I can't think about this right now, not with Alec in there." She sank into a chair. "What is taking so long?"

"It hasn't been that long. Only an hour," Dix said gently, nodding to the clock on the wall.

Max took a deep breath and sighed.

"I get how you're feeling Mole, believe me. The thought of... I can't lose him, I just can't. Alec knows how I feel about him. He does..." She tailed off for a moment, and then sniffed, trying to put some strength in her words, "And Logan knows it's over. I know he's not happy but this isn't some jealous lover thing. Logan's not perfect but he doesn't have that in him. I swear. Something else is going on here."

"I agree with Max. Mole, Logan took a call and it was like he just went totally blank. I don't think he was conscious when he fired that gun," Luke reasoned.

"What are you talking about?" Mole's tone was scathing.

"I think someone got to him. Like Alec was worried about when he got Callie to mind meld with him. Like a trigger."

"Logan wasn't taken. He and Max were back after a few hours."

"We don't know when it might have happened. He's not here all the time."

Mole snorted, "Sure seems like it. How long could it have been? Few days at most."

"I need to talk to him," Max repeated, her voice sounding lost. "But it'll have to wait. I can't think about this now."

She leaned forward, head in her hands and Mole softened. It was a mess, sure, but it wasn't Max's fault and he knew how much Alec meant to her, he wasn't blind. He pushed off from the wall he was leaning against and took the seat beside her, patting her awkwardly on the shoulder.

"Yeah. It can wait. I'll go with you to talk to him when we know what's what with Alec."

Max twisted her neck to give him an incredulous look, "Just talk?"

"Might've got a little hot headed there. Wasn't fair. I know you wouldn't do the dirty on Alec and I guess we do need to get to the bottom of this."

"And you're not going to do anything rash?"

"Depends on the ordinary's answers."

"I guess so," Max agreed.

In spite of Mole's harsh words, or because of them, really, she was comforted. Glad Alec had so fierce a friend in his corner. She wasn't the only one looking out for him and for that she was really grateful.

###

Three and a half hours. Max couldn't sit still. Her leg jogged involuntarily almost like she had the shakes. Joshua had a comforting hand laid on her back, but she couldn't seem to take any relief. Images and sounds constantly looped in her head; seeing the gun, feeling Alec pull her into his arms, falling to the floor underneath him, and that awful moment of disconnection when she'd been unable to understand what was going on around her, when she'd been annoyed with Alec and tried to push him off. Oh god, what if he felt that? What if he remembered that? She covered her eyes with her hands, pressing the palms in hard, trying to block it all out, just for a moment.

She remembered the feel of the warm blood on her hand as she touched his arm, and pulled her hands away.

Her heart was pounding, hadn't slowed down since the shooting. Had she said the right things? How important he was, how much she loved him? Did he know how much she needed him? How much she needed him to fight?

She should be with him now. She should be talking to him, holding his hand. Helping him to hold on. She needed to see him. She needed to know for sure that he was still alive. She tried to take deep breaths, blew out shakily. Three hours and forty-five minutes. What the hell was taking them so long?

###

They ran the surgery carefully and methodically, double checking everything. With Alec losing so much blood, the temptation was to work fast but they knew that raised the risk of making errors. They could rely on everyone being willing to donate blood and they ran rapid transfusions, just keeping up with the haemorrhaging, and just managing to keep his blood pressure high enough to prevent a stroke.

Alec was a mess. The bullets had torn through him, fragmenting, shattering ribs, puncturing his lungs and lacerating major blood vessels. A fragment of bullet had nicked his liver and that was bleeding badly.

By some miracle another fragment had only grazed his heart, but not penetrated, and once they drained the blood from the wound site a second time and staunched the flow, his rhythm improved a little.

###

"Alec always fights for Max," Joshua assured her. "Alec won't give up. Will be ok."

It had been close to five hours. "You think, Big Fella?"

"Of course. Alec knows where he belongs now. Before, always searching. Then found his place with Max. Won't give it up now."

She nodded, trying to believe those words. If anything depended on her positive thinking, she wasn't going to let Alec down. If all she could do was hope and will him on, she'd do it with every ounce of energy she had.

She sat up straight, taking in the grim faces around her. Mole would have looked impassive to a stranger, but Max could see he was hanging on Joshua's words, wanting to believe them as much as she did.

###

The trauma of the injuries and the blood loss caused a second cardiac arrest about six hours into the surgery and Callie found herself dizzy from holding her breath as they worked for nearly half an hour to resuscitate him again.

He held his own after that and they worked steadily to repair the damage, extracting bullet and bone fragments and using gore-tex grafts to patch arterial damage. They were more than grateful that their supply teams only stole the best.

###

Max watched the clock. Eight hours. Callie had said it would be a long wait and she was doing her best to be patient, but she just couldn't sit still any longer. The thought of what was going on behind that door make her feel paralysed with anxiety and helplessness. She needed to _do_ something. Anything.

She was worried that if she sat there much longer with nothing to do she'd find her legs marching her in there so her mouth could demand to know what the hell was going on. Her brain knew that couldn't be helpful.

She stood abruptly and eyes around her rose in surprise.

"I might as well do something useful," she announced. "I'm going to figure out what the hell's going on with Logan. I've got the radio. Call me when there's news."

"Sure thing, Little Fella," Joshua promised.

"I'll come," Mole was on his feet too.

"We're just talking Mole."

"Yeah."

"I get how you're feeling."

"Yeah. We need to know what happened."

"Ok." Max wasn't sure it was a good idea to let Mole come, but she also didn't want another confrontation with him. She knew it all came from how much he cared about Alec; she couldn't fault that, and maybe it meant he had as much right to go as she did.

Also, maybe it would be useful to have another perspective. She couldn't deny she was feeling pretty mixed up. On one hand she felt bad about the past and worried about what might have happened to Logan to cause this. On the other, Logan had pulled out a gun and fired it at her and because of that Alec was hurt so badly he was still in surgery eight hours later.

She might let that cloud her judgement in way that could turn out to be fatal for Logan.

###

Ralph had secured Logan in a room in the command building. Nila was guarding the door, while Soda was trying to reason with a small crowd gathered outside.

"Max!" Soda didn't hide the relief in his voice. All faces turned to her expectantly.

"Is Alec ok?"

"We don't know yet. He's still in surgery. Might still be for a while," she paused. "I need to talk to Logan."

"Max, you're gonna deal with him right? He's not gonna get away with this?" Fran was at the front of the group and Max was surprised at the depth of anger she saw in the other woman, who was usually so mild mannered, never happier than when she was standing in front of her easel in Joshua's class. Max suspected Alec might have dropped in on her a few times too back when he was visiting Mole. Something had won him her loyalty.

The look was reflected in the other faces in the group, including Soda and Nila who were holding the others off purely because they'd been given what they considered an order.

Max was glad Ralph had picked Soda and Nila. They were calm, reliable and physically intimidating enough that most transgenics would think twice about taking them on. They'd hold off the posse.

"I'm gonna find out what happened then decide what to do."

"We know what happened Max. He shot at you. He shot Alec. I don't see what else there is to talk about." Hope had kept a fairly low profile when she'd first arrived. Hooking up with Cindy had brought out her more forthright side, with which a good half of Max was struggling to disagree. The primal half that wanted to tear apart anyone who threatened the people she loved.

The other half understood that Logan was a gentle person who would never want to hurt anyone, certainly not in cold blood.

She could have reasoned with them but the accusing eyes seemed to imply suspicion of some sort of disloyalty on her part and her hackles rose. She thought about defending herself and claiming her loyalty to Alec above all others, but her nerves were shot. She was tired of justifying herself to everyone, of second guessing herself.

Forget another perspective in there. She just wanted this over with. She wanted to be with Alec. She wanted to know what was going on and help him in some way. She didn't want to be dealing with this at all.

Her glare would have shattered diamonds.

"Stand down, or I'll put you down," she growled in a tone of barely controlled fury. Everyone took a pace back. Including Mole.

She took a deep breath. "I think I should go in alone, Mole. Call you if I need back up."

"No can do, kid. Alec'll have my hide, I let you go in there alone. We'll suss it out and if it's safe I'll stand outside. Best I can do."

She managed a smile. Mole was right; Alec would be fine and he'd be sure to want to know someone had stepped up for her while he was out of action. God, she hoped so. Her smile slipped and she nodded to Mole, unable to make any reply.

###

Max entered the room with Mole half a step behind. The room was small with no window, more a store room really. They tended to use it for napping when work kept them from their homes. It was kitted out with a cot and blankets. Ralph had put Logan in there because the door was heavy and could be locked from the outside.

Max looked over to the cot, surprised not to see him there. Instead, she found him sitting on the floor, back against the wall, knees to his chest and head in hands.

Max still had no idea what she was going to say. The protective side of her that two minutes ago had wanted to kill him for harming Alec suddenly understood deep down that something terrible had happened to Logan too. But looking at his hands, she still saw the gun in them, she saw Alec bleeding and unconscious, struggling to breathe.

Logan was unarmed now, but she didn't know what had caused his actions, so while she crouched to his level, she kept her distance.

Mole did nothing to make himself seem less intimidating. In fact, he seemed to have drawn himself up as tall as possible and was wearing his most fearsome glare. He also made no effort to hide the fact that he was armed.

###

Logan had sat in that room for hours. He'd been practically catatonic at first. When he came out of that staring at the wall stage, he tried to sort it all through but he couldn't figure out what the hell had happened. He'd seen himself as though from the outside. Something had clicked inside his head when he'd heard that voice on the phone and it was like his body acted without any input from his brain. He'd seen his hand raise the gun, felt the sensation of his finger squeezing the trigger and the kick jolting his arm up to the shoulder. He'd had no feelings about the action until the bullets had left the gun, just a sense of mild curiosity.

Until he'd seen Max go down under Alec's body and almost simultaneously felt himself tackled, none too gently, to the ground. Then his brain had kicked in to the horror of what had happened. What he had done.

As Ralph, though he hadn't realised it was her initially, had torn the gun from his hand he'd felt relief and gratitude. He wasn't in control of his own body. He'd had no more control than over his actions than over those of a complete stranger.

He'd tried to kill...Oh god, he'd tried to kill Max.

But she was alive. She was right in front of him now, thank god, but Alec wasn't. Alec had stood between Max and those bullets and saved Max's life. Had saved her from _him_. Logan swallowed his nausea. How did he ask about Alec? Could he ask? The look on Mole's face didn't fill him with a lot of confidence that his concern would be accepted at face value. But he couldn't not ask. Whatever he thought about Alec, or had thought about him in the past, he hadn't ever wanted to kill him. And now? Alec was the reason Max was alive. For that, he could only be grateful.

He cleared his throat nervously, "Max...I don't know what to...Are you ok?" He couldn't meet her eyes, but her expression was just desolate. Did that mean Alec was dead?

"No. Logan, I'm not ok. A lot is going to ride on what you say next, because right now I'm trying to figure out whether or not I need to kill you."

There was no inflection in her voice and it scared the crap out of him. He saw Mole react to the words too. Mole believed she was for real. He'd wondered if Mole was in the room to kill him. Now he wondered if he was there to keep Max from doing it.

"Max I'm so sorry. I don't know what happened... Max, is Alec...?" His mouth went dry and he didn't really want to hear the answer to his question, but he knew he needed to. He opened his mouth to finish, but Max cut him off.

"You don't get to even say his name." She almost spat the words, the flatness gone from her tone and he flinched. Mole spoke up instead.

"Our medics are working on him. We don't know if he's gonna make it."

Max lowered her head and clenched her fists. He could see she was working to stay in control and he waited. He'd seen the blood. Seen them roll Alec off Max, limp and unresponsive. Seen Max and the others giving CPR to bring him back.

Yet somehow none of it felt real. Alec was too much a survivor, too much the wheeling dealing, irrepressible Cheshire Cat with nine lives. Somehow he could see vulnerability in Max that he couldn't in Alec. But Mole's voice held fear and Max was rigid with it. That, and fury. He believed that. He believed Max was ready to tear him apart.

He watched her trying to pull herself together, changing her whole posture and bringing her anger under control, but when she spoke, all he could hear was anxiety and misery and guilt.

"Logan, what happened?"

He tried to pull his scattered thoughts together and find an answer, but before he could, she continued, her voice becoming lost and small, "Why did you have to be so far away?"

"What?"

"Why couldn't you have been standing right by me so Alec couldn't get in between?" Her control was slipping as her breathing turned ragged with distress.

"There was so much blood. He couldn't breathe. He shouldn't have saved... Oh god, I should be dead. He's not even healed from what Corrigan did to him. How's he gonna get through this? I can't lose him. I just got him back, I _can't_ lose him!"

She turned away and he could see her whole body shaking with silent sobs. Mole put out an arm and pulled her into a hug, never taking his eyes off Logan, his expression murderous.

Logan wished Max would go back to being angry. This was so much worse.

###

Max allowed herself only a minute to fall apart. She still had a job to do, and a decision to make. She scrubbed her face dry and pulled away from Mole, allowing a hand to linger on his arm for a moment, in silent acknowledgement of his support.

"So what happened?"

Logan sighed, still unsure how to explain, "I don't know. It was like some sort of out of body experience. I couldn't control myself."

"You brought the gun with you," Mole was calm, on the outside at least.

"What?" Max looked at him startled.

"Wasn't one of ours, Max."

"You brought a gun here?"

"I always carry one now. For protection."

"Protection?" Max was incredulous.

"Yes, Max, protection. I'm Eyes Only; people want to kill me!"

Max raised her eyebrows, "Really? Hard to believe."

"I've been carrying one since White trashed my place."

"Ok, so you had the gun for protection. You felt threatened in our command room?"

"No I..."

"You took a call. Luke says you spaced out and that's when you pulled the gun."

"I remember a voice on the line. A man. He said something and it was like I was taken over by some force outside myself. I didn't make a decision to shoot you, Max, I swear."

"Sleeper agent," said Mole.

"But how?" asked Max. "They'd need time to work. They'd need to have him in isolation to make it stick. With Alec they beat him down, used the laser. He was a mess."

"So the ordinary's hiding something."

"Hey! Ordinary over here!" Max and Mole both rounded on Logan and he raised his hands. It wasn't a bright move to attract the attention of the angry transgenics.

"How long did they have you Logan?" Max asked.

Logan sighed, "I woke up in my place and I'd lost two days."

"Two days? You don't remember anything?"

"No, I went to bed and when I woke up it was two days later. I was looking into it, but I hadn't come up with any answers yet."

"When was this?"

"When I came here a couple of days after your rescue mission. We talked about the cure, I went home, then that night..."

"Why didn't you tell us?"

"'Us?' Who's 'us', Max? You and your army? Your transgenic family? Or you and Alec?"

"Either, whatever! Logan we could have helped."

"'We' again. Not you. Not you'd have helped."

"This affects all of us Logan. There isn't a 'me' anymore. Not like there used to be. I have to think about everyone."

"Used to be you'd have noticed if I was missing for two days, Max. Used to be you'd have cared because it affected me, not because it affected your friends. Not because it affected Alec." His voice was angry, but that was just masking. He was desperately trying to hold back tears and guilt and so many mixed up feelings he didn't know how to separate them.

"Don't talk about Alec now. I'm trying not to lose it, Logan. I'm trying to be fair to you, but I just..." She felt tears in her eyes again and she took a deep breath, bringing her emotions under control.

"Didn't it occur to you that people you cared about were in danger? I mean you got a lot of secrets Logan. A lot of people working underground rely on being able to trust you. If it wasn't about me it could have been about Asha and the S1W. It could have been about looking to find someone you relocated. Hell, you know people in Government, the few decent politicians this country can't afford to lose."

"You think I don't know that Max? I was trying to find out what happened."

"We've got resources here. Hell, we've got a telecoercive. Callie de-triggered Alec. She could've checked you out; she could have solved this before you... before anything happened."

Logan rubbed his face with his hands. Yeah, maybe he should have said something to Max, but the way they'd left things that day; he just couldn't go back there with cap in hand, asking for help. Instead he'd waited and when she'd called, with the information for his broadcast he'd bounded into TC like he was the knight in shining armour ready to rescue the princess from the tower. He'd been full of her asking him for help and hadn't mentioned a thing.

And, boy did that sound petty now.

He knew he should just admit it but his adrenaline was a hard edge inside him and he couldn't let go of his defensive stance, "I didn't know what it meant Max. I didn't know who took me or why. How would I have known to come to Callie for 'de-triggering' when I didn't even know I had a trigger?"

"Logan, don't be cute, it doesn't suit you. I know you have a lot of enemies, but the list of people who could just disappear two days of your memory has to be pretty short, with Manticore somewhere near the top. This is because we argued, isn't it? I'd have thought you'd be able to put that aside for something this important."

And now she was calling him on the pettiness, and his brain was putting together what they'd been saying and suddenly, almost like he was under the influence of the trigger again, he said something really stupid.

"Wait a minute. So Alec had a trigger too? Mr Perfect did break then after all, did he? I told you he was dangerous. You thought you knew better, but I _knew_ he'd betray you. What, did he try to kill you too? He hasn't changed at all, has he? He is what he was bred to be, he's a cold-blooded killer!"

Before he knew what had happened he was pinned against the wall, Max's forearm across his windpipe and he couldn't breathe. Their eyes met and Logan's insides turned to water. There was no affection in there, no mercy. She wanted to kill him.

For a few seconds she didn't move, didn't even blink, and Logan was sure that was it. Then she did blink and the pressure was released and he fell to his knees, coughing and clutching his throat.

"I'm gonna have Callie remove your trigger. She's helping Alec right now, so you'll have to wait until she's free. Then I don't want to see you again."

"Max!" He gasped the word, not sure what he wanted to follow it with, only sure he didn't want her to go, that he wanted to take back those bitter words and find some way to salvage this.

"I mean it Logan. You and me are done. Once you're cured, don't ever come here again. Next time I have my arm across your windpipe, I won't let go."

###

Max wrenched open the door and pushed through the startled crowd, pausing only to order Soda and Nila to lock the door again and not leave until further notice. She was shaking with rage.

She stormed out of the command building, heading for the infirmary, but stopped suddenly in her tracks. She couldn't go back there in this state. She needed to get herself back under control, figure out what to say to people. What could she say? Logan shot Alec and he wasn't even sorry? That she'd been ready to kill him and then bottled out? She punched the wall in frustration, and then was even angrier with herself as she felt her knuckle crack painfully. Great, Max. Really productive.

A hand on her shoulder had her spinning and throwing a punch without warning. Luckily Mole's reflexes were as good as hers and he blocked the blow, just.

"Max, you didn't hear me?"

"What do you want? I couldn't kill him ok?"

"Max. You did good in there. You would've regretted it if you did it in the heat of the moment."

"He doesn't even care!"

"Yeah, he does. He just hasn't processed it all yet. It'll hit him."

"You heard what he said!"

"Yeah. He shouldn't have said that."

"I should've hit him."

"Maybe. Better than hitting the wall."

"I think I broke my hand."

"Looks like. Did it help?"

"No." She blew out a shaky breath.

"You wanna hit me?"

"No."

"Seriously Max, you're too wired to go back there yet. You think you can just sit and wait? You'll freak Josh and the others right out like this."

"So what, you _want_ me to hit you."

"I could use something to tap out this adrenaline too, so yeah. Spar with me."

"I need to get back to Alec."

"We've got the radio. They'll call us as soon as they hear anything and we'll be there in 30 seconds. Less probably."

She nodded tightly and threw another punch. Mole blocked and threw one of his own. She grabbed his arm and used his momentum to throw him into the wall. He launched himself off it and they blurred into a rhythm of kicks and punches, working out fear and anger and frustration and uncertainty so they could both find their centres and be the leaders their people needed.

###

They rested side by side against the wall, panting and spent. Max held the back of her hand to her rapidly swelling eye, while Mole gingerly manipulated his bruised and clicking jaw.

"Thanks, Mole. I really needed that."

"Me too...Look Max, Alec's gonna be ok. Joshua's right, you know. He'll fight for you."

Max looked at him, her face twisted with anguish, "He'd better. He has to be ok."

"Let's get back. There's gotta be some news by now."

She rose to her feet and offered a hand. He accepted and she pulled him up.

###

The whole confrontation with Logan and the sparring with Mole had taken less than an hour. They'd returned to the infirmary to find the others in exactly the same spots they'd left them in. Max gave a brief synopsis of what had transpired, keeping it to Logan having been triggered and the proposed solution.

The fight with Mole had wore off fast and Max was back to alternating between hope and despair, her leg cramping with the constant tense jogging up and down.

###

It was fourteen hours before the medics were satisfied that the bleeding was stopped and they had done everything they could to give him the best chance of survival.

As senior medic, Callie took responsibility for taking news to his waiting family, while Jin and Cam considered themselves lucky to be left monitoring Alec and taking clean up detail. Alec was alive, just, but the stress of it all left them shaking with exhaustion.

"Callie's pretty frosty, huh?" Cam observed.

"You think she was nervous at all?" Jin asked, "Kind of wanted her to lay some of that tele-coercion mojo on me, you know, fake confidence?"

Cam snorted, "Yeah. Couldn't have hurt. I don't know. I think she was just as scared as us. She's just better at hiding it."

"Right. She's the boss, I guess. Can't show the grunts any weakness. We did good though, right?" Jin laid a hand on Alec's arm as though confirming the evidence of his eyes.

"Yeah. Man, I saw those bullet holes? I didn't think he had a chance."

"Yeah, well. We've given him that much at least."

###

At the sound of a hand on the door, they were all on their feet. Callie sought out and directed her attention to Max.

"He's alive," It was the news they all needed to hear, before any caveats and Callie echoed the audible sighs of relief with one of her own.

"Is he gonna be OK?" Max whispered the words, terrified and desperate to know the answer.

"I can't guarantee anything, but he made it through the surgery, which, I gotta be honest, I really wasn't sure he would. Some of his ribs were shattered and the bullets fragmented inside him. There's a lot of damage. We've repaired both of his lungs, his liver, and we patched his pulmonary artery and a graze to his heart. We got the bleeding stopped eventually but he was losing blood as fast as we could replace it, and he crashed again a few hours in. We got him back, but it was close. He's still unconscious and we have him on the ventilator 'cause he's not breathing by himself. Max, we've done everything we can. Now we just have to wait and hope."

"He has a chance?" Max head was spinning and she didn't try to stop the tears. She couldn't hide how much this meant to her.

"A chance, but I can't promise he's gonna be the same as he was. The blood loss and the lung damage... He wasn't getting enough air. If he wakes up there may be brain damage. And it may not be reversible."

It was too much to take in. After everything he'd been through, it was too cruel to think that he might not be whole again. Max couldn't countenance anything but a full recovery. She focused on the here and now. He was alive and fighting. Alec was coming back to her, she wouldn't accept anything less.

"I can see him?"

"Give us a minute to get him settled. Then I'll take you in there."

###

They'd moved him back to the room he'd left such a short time ago. Max slumped in the chair at his side and grabbed his hand, feeling almost as though she'd never left. His face was frighteningly pale, but there was none of the terrible bruising he'd had after his rescue. It seemed ironic that his condition was so much more critical now. Those four tiny bullets had wrought such damage that he was relying on a plastic tube in his throat connected to a machine to keep him breathing.

Wires were still attached to his chest, sending readings to the heart monitor. She could see his pulse on the screen and her transgenic hearing could just discern the quiet beat of his heart under the more insistent beeping of the machine.

There were tubes in his chest, which Callie explained were there to drain any blood or air trapped where they shouldn't be, and he still had a couple of IVs running into his arms, one of clear fluid, and another unit of blood just finishing.

"We gave him 43 units before we got the bleeding under control. His blood pressure's still low, so I want to give him a little more, just to be on the safe side. Another half a unit or so should do it," Callie mentioned, checking the amount remaining.

"I'll give him some more," Max offered, rolling up her sleeve.

"No, Max, you already gave a unit. We still have some left from all the donations."

"I know. Callie, I want to. I want to give him something. I have to help. You know I've got that no-junk DNA thing. Maybe it'll help?" She could hear pleading in her voice and she didn't care.

"That's not why you want to give it."

"Well, it's part of it. It's irrational I know, but I love him, and it feels like that's in every cell of my body. I don't know if any of what I gave before is even still inside him. He'll keep what I give him now and maybe somehow he'll know it's from me."

"Maybe it's irrational but I've got no evidence to prove you wrong. Ok. You better tell me if you feel faint though."

"I will. I'm not gonna let myself pass out while he's lying here helpless."

Callie set up a direct transfusion and Max concentrated on sending him her love and her will as well as her blood.

"Callie. Thank you. You guys did an amazing job."

"Don't thank us yet."

"I do thank you. I don't know what I'd have done without you. I owe you Alec's life, twice now. I won't forget that, ever."

"Max, I really hope he'll be ok."

"Is he strong enough for this, really? Has he had enough time to heal from what they did to him?"

"It's impossible to say. He's been recovering fast, but he's still building up his strength. I don't know. But he's tough, you know, he got through the surgery. He has a chance."

"Joshua says he'll be fine."

"Joshua's pretty wise."

"Yeah. He knows about these things."

###

Callie left Max in the room with Alec and walked back to the office where Jin and Cam would be waiting by now. The tension of the last hours had left her totally drained and as she reached for the door she realised her hands were shaking. She'd given Jin and Cam the pep talk, but it had been for herself too and it had long since worn off. She paused at the door and thought better of going in. Instead she turned into the bathroom and knelt over the toilet just in time to heave up the entire contents of her stomach.

###

Max thought she'd go crazy from worry. Callie wouldn't make any predictions, besides telling her again he was hanging in there any time she asked. Which she did frequently.

It had been twenty four hours since the shooting, so ten hours since she'd been allowed in to see him and he still wasn't breathing for himself.

The only encouragement Callie would give was that he wasn't getting any worse. They hadn't seen any of the complications they were worried about: secondary bleeding, pulmonary oedema or embolism, septicaemia.

Max had given him air and blood and now all she had to give was her hand to hold and her words. Did he feel that? Could he hear her? She wished there was something practical she could do, anything more she could give to lend him the strength he needed.

She kept herself on a tight rein, biting her tongue to keep from snapping with impatience. Everyone was as worried as she was. Joshua and Mole wouldn't leave the room either, though they'd barely spoken, all three of them somehow hypnotised by the beeping of the heart monitor and the swishing of the ventilator.

There was a soft knock at the door and then Soda popped his head into the room.

"Max?" He whispered.

"What is it?"

"Sorry to bother you."

"Spit it out."

"How's Alec doing?"

"He's hanging in there."

"'s good. Uh...We've still got Logan on lockdown. He's asking when Callie will be available to do this mind meld thing."

"Callie's busy looking after Alec right now." Callie was the most senior of the medics, so Max wasn't going to allow her to be distracted from taking care of Alec until he was out of danger, however long that took.

"He's wondering how long we're gonna keep him locked up."

Max huffed angrily at Logan's impatience, disappointed that he seemed able to function at all. He should be imploding from guilt, prostrated by shame. Not making demands for attention.

"Tell Logan he'll just have to wait however long he has to wait. If he's got a problem with that, he can tell it to the voice in his head that made him shoot Alec."

"Little Fella. Not really Logan's fault. Not fair to keep blaming. You know this." Joshua spoke gently.

Deep down she knew she was punishing Logan for hurting Alec under the influence of the trigger and for that ugly thing he'd said in the heat of the moment. She knew Joshua was right, but part of her couldn't help but be disgusted at his weakness in breaking so easily.

"Two days, Joshua. It only took them two days to turn him against us. And look what he did." She couldn't help but weigh Logan's strength of character against Alec's and find Logan wanting.

"Not fair either. Don't know how telecoercion affects ordinaries. Maybe not possible to resist."

"Dog-boy's got a point Max. It could work differently with ordinaries."

Et tu, Mole? Where was the crazy-eyed lizard-man who'd threatened to kill Logan with his bare hands? How come he was suddenly the level-headed one? Max could see the logic, but she couldn't let it go. She needed her anger right now. It was keeping her from falling apart.

"Don't have any proof that's the case, and whatever. He's still a danger so he's on lockdown until Callie's available. And like I said, her priority's here right now."

Soda nodded and closed the door gently behind him, while Max returned to stroking Alec's hair.

###

Sitting there watching Alec fighting for his life, again, because of her, Max couldn't help but wonder if he would be better off without her. It terrified her to think that his protective instincts so far outweighed his own formerly well-developed survival instinct. She seemed to be a constant target, but she wasn't the one getting hurt. She needed to find a way to protect him.

In the past, when Logan had been in danger because of her, she'd tried to walk away, but never had the guts to truly break ties. She'd just hurt both of them with half-assed attempts. With Alec, she'd rather have died than see him hurt like this, but she didn't think she could actually force herself to let go of his hand and leave the room, let alone leave _him_.

If she were to be selfish, she would admit she needed him. She wouldn't let go for anything. But _for_ him? For him she'd do anything. She'd tear out her own heart to protect him, just like Zach had done for her. But what _should_ she do for him?

If he made it through this and she stayed with him, he'd continue taking risks for her and one day she could lose him. If she walked away...what kind of repayment was that for the love he'd given her?

And would it even help?

They hadn't been together when he'd given himself up to Corrigan. He'd backed her up and taken risks for her even before she'd started being nice to him. Would he still risk himself for her if they weren't together anymore? She didn't know.

She lifted his hand to her heart. The thought of causing him any more pain even if there was an outside chance of it being good for him in the end was too much. He'd told her he loved her. He'd told her that he _belonged_ to her. And she knew what it meant for him to say that. Alec did not love easily. He didn't throw that word around. When he said it, he meant it and that meant she was responsible for him.

It was just up to her to make sure he understood what losing him meant to her. Maybe if he knew what it would do to her, he'd think twice and be more careful with his life. After all, he'd given it to her; it wasn't his to just throw away anymore.

Maybe if he understood that losing him meant to her exactly what losing her meant to him, he'd look for another way next time.

But one thing was certain: she couldn't predict the future. She couldn't give up on love and the chance of forever just because she was scared. She'd already promised him that.

###

Alec looked so pale. It wasn't fair; he shouldn't be hurt again so soon. He should have let her get shot. He should have gone for the gun, not for her, no matter if he'd have been too late. No, he should have been home safe. She should have insisted that he take more time to heal before coming back to work.

Thirty six hours since the shooting. The hours ticked forward and the medics checked on him at regular intervals, checking his blood pressure, his pulse and breathing sounds, his pupil reactions. It was awful to see him just lie there and let them touch him without reacting.

She was starting to sink into a real depression. She'd started wondering if her faith in Joshua's assertions was misplaced, that Alec really wouldn't recover, when Jin announced that Alec had tripped the ventilator; he'd started trying to breathe for himself. He wasn't strong enough to come off the machine yet, but it was a really good sign. They needed to be patient; he wasn't out of danger yet.

Max was incapable of checking her optimism. She had tangible evidence that Alec was fighting his way back to her so as far as she was concerned, it was just a matter of time before he'd open his eyes and smile that smile he had only for her.

Joshua and Mole were reassured enough to drop off in their chairs, so Max had Alec all to herself for a while.

Max leaned close and spoke quietly by Alec's ear, "Hey there Alec, just you and me for now. You know, I don't have any pet names for you yet. Never really used 'em before. I'm wondering how you feel about Sweetheart or Honey. Something for everyday. How about Angel? Too much? I think Dumbass is just gonna be for special occasions from now on. Like when you get shot for me. I'm gonna play fair though. I'm not gonna call you Dumbass now; I'm gonna wait until you're awake to defend yourself.

"Hey, Alec honey, can you hear me? Hey sweetheart, can you hear me waiting for you to wake up and tell me to stop calling you embarrassing names? You know, I'm feeling kind of ignored here, angel. Hey, beautiful boy, wake up and tell me you love me. Alec? I love you. I need you."

He didn't stir, but she was sure it was just a matter of time. And time she had.

###

"I don't know where he found the fight Max, but this is pretty amazing. I'm gonna take him off the ventilator in a couple of hours if he keeps this up."

"He's doing good?"

"I should say so. I mean I know he's got transgenic healing and all, but those injuries are really serious and he's still getting over what they did to him in Manticore."

"But he's breathing. I mean, what you said about brain damage? Is that..." She didn't know how to ask.

"We won't know until he wakes up, but Max, there was a really good chance that he'd never breathe by himself again."

"You think he will wake up?"

"I don't know. But I can tell he really wants to live through this." Callie wasn't one for making over optimistic prognoses, but he was giving it everything he had and she couldn't believe he wouldn't wake up. He was breathing less than forty eight hours after having his lungs ripped to shreds. That was fast healing even for a transgenic.

"Max, I'm wondering if you were right about that blood of yours."

"The no-junk thing? You think it helped?"

"Could be."

###

Callie took him off the ventilator a couple of hours later as promised. There was a moment of panic as he didn't quite catch his breath immediately that the tube was pulled out of this throat, but as Jin started hovering with the bag and mask, Callie held up a hand.

"Give him a second."

Max wasn't breathing either, "Come on, Alec, come on, come on. Breathe."

Then he coughed and pulled in a breath and Max released hers, lightheaded with relief. Instead Jin placed an ordinary oxygen mask over Alec's face.

"Just to give him a hand," he explained.

Callie sat for a while with them, just making sure everything was ok. Max was grateful. She was so glad Alec was getting stronger, but there had been comfort in the support of the ventilator. Now she felt like she had to watch him every moment to be sure he was ok, that he kept on breathing. It was exhausting to be so stressed out.

###

It was a good thing Max didn't need a lot of sleep, because there was no way she'd have been able to rest while she was still so worried about Alec. It was a good thing she was trained to keep watch for long periods, because her ass had been asleep for hours, but she wasn't moving from that chair until he woke up and smiled at her.

He was doing better, and Max was used to him breathing now, not so scared that each breath might be the last, but she was still worried about what might happen when he woke up.

Callie seemed to have backed off the dire warnings, but she hadn't said anything for definite and Max couldn't bear to think that his sacrifice might have permanent consequences, that his bravery would be punished. She was scared he wouldn't be the same, scared he wouldn't still be able to do everything that he used to. But most of all, she was scared that he might not still love her.

Was it really because her blood was particularly awesome that he was doing so well? Was it just that he was really strong and really didn't want to die? Was he following the orders she'd given him before he passed out?

Her blood thing was weird, and maybe another thing to worry about, like the runes she still hadn't figured out. Another way she was different from the others. She was grateful if it helped Alec, really glad she'd given him that extra half unit, but what if it was a red herring, what if it was just him fighting his hardest and if that was the case, there wasn't anything helping him fight to heal himself but his own willpower. She just wished she knew.

###

Max opened her eyes and shot up when she realised she'd dozed off. She wiped the drool from her mouth and Alec's good forearm where she'd been resting her head. Her heart pounded at the thought she'd failed in keeping watch.

"Alec still with us," Joshua reassured.

"You kept watch?"

Joshua nodded, "Getting stronger."

"You can tell that?"

"Colour is better."

Max looked and thought she could see a difference too. Not quite so ghostly pale.

"I think you're right." She sighed and took Alec's hand in both of her own.

"Alec wants to be with Max."

"Yeah." She smiled shyly.

"So much happening, Joshua never had chance to say how glad."

"Thanks Josh."

"Leave Max with Alec now. Time together."

"You sure? He's your friend too."

Joshua shook his head and smiled, "Alec wants to be with Max."

He took a second to squeeze Alec's arm, then put an arm around Max, kissing the top of her head.

"Later, Little Fella."

"Later, Big Fella."

Max sighed and rested her chin back on Alec's arm. Josh was right, he did look better. Almost like he was sleeping rather than unconscious.

"You wanna be with me, Alec?" She whispered.

###

It was almost like Joshua knew something, because just a few minutes later, Alec's hand tightened around hers and he turned his head a little towards her.

"Alec? Are you with me?" She squeezed his hand tightly.

His eyes moved under the lids and his lips parted so that even under the oxygen mask she could see he was whispering her name.

"Alec? It's Max. I'm here. Can you open your eyes?" She put her free hand to his face, stroking his temple and forehead. He leaned into her touch and she pulled the hand she held to her mouth, kissing his knuckles.

"Alec?"

He dragged his eyes open, and blinked slowly.

"Hey! You with me?"

He lifted his free hand and tried to pull the mask down, "Maxie?"

Max put her hand over his, keeping the mask in place, "You leave that for a while, ok? It's helping you." He nodded, and she moved her hand back to his forehead.

"You ok?" His voice was weak, but she could make out his words, echoing those he'd spoken right after the shooting.

Was she ok? He was awake, he was talking and he knew her. He was _worried_ about her. She was more than ok, she was awesome.

"I'm ok if you are." She smiled and placed a kiss on his forehead. "How do you feel?"

"Tired." His eyes drifted closed for a moment, then he fought to open them again.

"You're really ok?"

"Yeah, Alec. I'm fine. You saved my life, remember? We need to have words about that."

He gave her a lazy smile, which faded as he closed his eyes again. His grip on her hand loosened and she felt a momentary panic that he was losing consciousness again, not just falling asleep.

She tapped his cheek gently, "Alec?" He murmured sleepily but didn't open his eyes. "Alec, promise me you'll wake up, ok? You hear me?"

He raised his lids long enough to lock his eyes with hers, "Promise."

###

**Continues soon...**

**Feedback really welcome: I had such a hard time with this chapter and I'm still not really happy about it. I just don't know how I want it to be, other than better. But, it was definitely way past time to post. I'd love to know what you think about what worked, what didn't work – even if you think it was just a big old mess.**


	9. It's not Saturday night at Crash

**A/N: Well what a rubbish updater I am. That'll teach me to start posting a story with such a sketchy outline for the last third. I got overexcited at the start and now I'm filling in plot holes all over the place. I'm very sorry for the long delay in posting, but it's a pretty long chapter, so I hope that makes up for it. **

**I meant to note in the previous chapter that the title, **_**Never Let Me Go**_**, was from the book of the same name. I've been intending to read that book for ages, but haven't got around to it, but the title seemed perfect for my chapter. **

**I think it's amazing that a TV show and a website where people can share stories can cross so many borders. Over the months I've been posting this story, I've had hits from so many countries, including USA, Canada, UK, Australia, Chile, Russia, Denmark, Germany, Algeria, Bangladesh, Spain, Italy, Austria, Israel, New Zealand, Poland, France, Taiwan, India, South Africa, Netherlands, Singapore, Hungary, Romania, Ireland, Finland, Norway and Hong Kong. Pretty awesome. **

**Disclaimer: No rights, no money, no Alec. Doesn't it just suck to be us?**

#

**So, the story so far: Logan tried to kill Max after being brainwashed by Manticore and Alec almost died saving her life. Max was extremely angry with Logan and terrified out of her wits that she might lose Alec, especially after they had finally declared their feelings for each other. When we last saw them Alec had just regained consciousness, but will he be ok? And what is Max going to do with Logan?**

**Chapter 9: It's not Saturday night at Crash**

Waking up in pain wasn't anything new for Alec. He'd been injured lots of times on missions, woken up back in Manticore's infirmary, in field hospitals, medevac helicopters, even still lying on the battlefield where he'd fallen and having to find the strength to make his own way back to help.

Waking up in pain with Max holding his hand and stroking his hair was by far the best of a crappy series of awakenings. In fact it pretty much made up for the fact that he felt like he might be dying from the pain.

She was talking to him. He tried to focus. Didn't want to miss anything she said, but he was too groggy to make much of the words at first. Still, her tone was unmistakeable: gentle, loving. Like when he had the nightmares, Maxie was calling him home.

"Maxie?" He tried to move the mask off his face; it felt moist and claustrophobic. He winced as his biceps contracted and he remembered the bullet hitting him in the arm.

Max put her hand over his, warm and soft, urging him to leave the mask where it was. Probably a good idea. His chest felt like some big huge guy was sitting on it. It was really hard to take a breath. At the top of each very shallow inhalation, his ribs screamed at him to stop the frick what he was doing right the hell now.

He remembered four bullets, remembered going down, with Max underneath him. Had he got the Kevlar vest between them in time? He knew it was going to hurt to breathe deep enough to talk, but he needed to know.

He managed to get a whisper out, "You ok?"

She looked pale and exhausted. Had she been hit? She shouldn't be sitting with him. She should be resting up, not worrying about him.

She said she was ok, and leaned down to kiss him on the forehead, soft lips, soft hands. That felt nice. She was smiling and she didn't seem to be in pain. That was something.

"How do you feel?" She asked.

Damn, his chest was agony, and his arm. And his head was aching like a son of a bitch. He didn't hit his head, did he? Didn't remember that. Maybe it was just part of the overall feeling crappy. And his back was excruciating. But he didn't want to worry her. And honestly, he didn't think he had the breath to say all that anyway.

"Tired."

That was certainly true. He could barely keep his eyes open. He wanted to ask about Logan. Obviously Logan had somehow ended up getting the Manticore sleeper agent treatment and if someone had taken him out after the shooting, Max would be in pieces about it. Alec should be comforting her.

In spite of all his efforts, he was drifting off; he'd make sure to ask her about Logan as soon as he woke up again. He could manage something short though, "You're really ok?" Not very precise, but it covered everything.

"Yeah, Alec. I'm fine. You saved my life, remember? We need to have words about that."

Ah man, was he in trouble again? He gave her what he hoped was his most charming and innocent, not to mention affectionate smile as he slipped back under.

Then she was tapping his cheek, "Alec?" He needed to sleep, but he couldn't resist his girl, didn't want to. He tried really hard to open his eyes, mumbling he wasn't sure what.

"Alec, promise me you'll wake up, ok? You hear me?"

She was worried about him; he could hear it in her voice. He couldn't have that. He dragged his eyes open once more and found hers. Clear, brown, beautiful eyes. Filled with affection for him. He was still trying to get used to that. He wished he could stay awake and just look for a little while longer.

"Promise," he whispered, and her smile gave him permission to surrender.

#

As Alec succumbed to sleep, Max called Callie on the radio and the medic was in the room almost before Max finished hailing her.

"He woke up," she said, smiling uncertainly.

"He woke up?" Callie returned, undisguised surprise in her expression and her tone, "Tell me what happened."

Callie checked Alec's stats and updated his chart as Max gave her the low down.

"Max, that is awesome!" Max was taken aback by the effusive reaction, far from the professionalism Callie had maintained heretofore, and her hesitant smile became a grin.

"Yeah? So what do you think? Will he be ok now?"

"We need to run some tests when he wakes up again, but this is really good news, Max. He's making great progress. How much pain was he in?"

"He didn't say, I think he was trying not to worry me, but he didn't really move and I think he was finding it too hard to speak. He just said he was tired. He was really short of breath."

"Yeah, he's gonna feel like that for a while. He's gonna need the oxygen 'cause he can't breathe very deeply."

"How long will that last?"

"Hard to say. To be honest, I'm just thrilled he's off the vent and awake already. He's really doing well, but we can't rush this. We wired and pinned the shattered ribs together and they're gonna take a while to knit properly. We'll get him started slow on some physio so he can build lung capacity as he heals. And right now I'm gonna give him something for the pain so he's more comfortable when he wakes up again."

"He's not on anything already?" Max squeezed his hand instinctively, imagining the pain he must've woken to.

Callie shook her head, "Not while he was unconscious, no. We needed to make sure we'd have enough for if..._when_... he woke up. And anyway, once he was off the vent we didn't want to give him anything that might depress his breathing. I'm gonna keep a real close eye on that 'cause he's gonna need something pretty heavy duty for the next few days at the very least. I'll be right back."

Callie returned with a syringe of the good stuff and Mole and Joshua in tow.

"Max, what'd he say?" Mole demanded.

"Not much, he was only awake for a minute or so. He said he was tired. Kept asking if _I_ was ok."

"But he seemed good, right? Knew what was what?"

"Yeah. He said my name and it sounded like he remembered what happened. And he promised he was gonna wake up again."

"Oh, man!" Mole practically collapsed into his chair with a shuddering sigh, and rubbed his hand over his face, "Thank god."

"Thank god?" Max smiled.

"It's an expression," he justified.

"Callie."

"Yeah Mole."

"I was kind of harsh with you when you first arrived here."

Callie shrugged like she agreed but really didn't mind.

"You're ok, you know that?"

"Jesus, Mole. Are you drunk?" She joked, smiling with pleasure.

"Why does everyone ask me that whenever I say anything nice?"

"Can't imagine," Callie met Max's raised eyebrow with a grin.

#

"Uh, Max? I took a look at Alec's bloodwork but there's nothing unusual there. I compared it with his last sample from before the shooting and the blood he got from you and the others isn't significantly different from his own." As she spoke, Callie watched Max warily, not sure if she'd be disappointed or not.

"My DNA didn't make any difference?"

"Not as far as we can tell."

"So what does that mean? He's doing better than you expected, right? Why would that be?"

Callie looked at Alec, sleeping deeply due to the powerful painkillers he was on now, still pale and fighting for breath, but resolutely alive. She shrugged, "I honestly don't know. But yeah, he's doing better than I could have hoped. He just found the strength somewhere."

"I convinced myself my blood made a difference. That I helped." Max confessed.

"And now?"

Max bit her lip and then smiled.

"I guess I was just scared the odds were stacked against him and I wanted to give him an edge. But it's not like I didn't help at all. He needed another half a unit of blood and I gave it to him. And I sat here and held his hand. He's alive because he wants to be and I'm part of that. I'm ok with that being the reason."

"You're more than just a part of that, Max. He'd die for you but he obviously wants to live for you too."

"Well I did give him a night to remember right before it happened," she grinned wryly.

Callie grinned back, "Oh, well that'd do it. A red blooded male with a reasonable expectation of some hot lovin'? I bet he'll be back on his feet in no time."

#

Alec dragged himself up through quicksand to snatch a few moments of wakefulness every now and then. He wasn't in as much pain as before, but he felt so heavy and sluggish that he could barely form a coherent thought.

He had to remind himself not to panic at how hard it was to breathe, he just forced himself to take the deepest breaths he could and trust that the oxygen mask would keep him going. Each time he hauled open his eyes, Max was there and he knew he'd be ok; she would make sure of it.

It was too hard to speak, but she didn't seem to mind him communicating through soft hand squeezes and sleepy half smiles. She had a few extra gestures of physical vocabulary, the hand stroking his hair, the kiss on his forehead or the palm of his hand, the arm across his waist. He hadn't felt nearly this enervated the first time he'd woken up, but Max assured him it was just because the painkillers were so strong.

He wasn't sure he wanted them if they were going to keep him so helpless, but Max kept asking if he was in pain and making sure that Callie was topping off the dose regularly and he didn't want her to worry, so he did what he could to reassure her before sleep pulled him under each time.

#

A day and half of Alec drifting in and out. Max sat and worried. He was sleeping most of the time and when he woke he was too exhausted to do more than smile reassuringly and squeeze her hand. She needed to hear his voice again. She still needed to know that the possible brain damage Callie had warned them about wasn't going to sneak up and bite him in the ass. She just needed him to be ok.

Callie was still encouraging about the general trajectory of his condition, but he was too out of it for any detailed tests of motor or cognitive function.

It had been about four hours since he last opened his eyes. Max was testing the limits of her shark DNA again; she hadn't slept more than a fifteen minute nap since the shooting and she was shaking with tiredness, but she'd be damned if she'd allow herself to sleep through him waking up.

She stood up and took some deep breaths, swinging her arms and jumping up and down a few times to pep herself up a little.

She sat back down and this time, Alec found her hand. She met his open eyes in surprise and returned his amused smile.

"Hey, there you are, sleepyhead." He looked more alert than he had since he'd first woken.

"You ok?" He whispered, smile fading.

"You need to stop asking me that. You're the one everyone's worried about." She rested her head on his pillow, so they were only inches apart.

"You're tired," he observed.

"You're recovering from multiple bullet wounds. How about we focus on that for a sec? Tell me how you feel."

"Be ok."

"I didn't ask how you'll be, I asked how you are," she scooted forward a little so she could kiss his forehead and his eyes drifted closed.

"Alec?"

"Still getting used...to that," he smiled.

He couldn't breathe deeply enough to get five words out on one breath and it killed Max that she couldn't do anything to help.

"How's the pain?"

"Can't feel much of...anything. Sorta numb...floaty." His whispered words were muffled by the oxygen mask so that she needed to be close to hear him.

"That's good. It's the morphine, remember?"

He nodded.

"You're doing better; talking."

"Maxie..." he paused, as if planning how to say what he needed to in the fewest words.

"Logan..." His breath was gone before he could get the next word out and Max's face twisted in distress, wanting to pull him into her arms, but settling for laying her free hand on his head.

"He's not gonna hurt you again."

He frowned, shaking his head, "Not...Maxie, he ok?... Alive?"

"Yes, he's alive. We have him on lockdown."

"Sleeper...Manticore got to him."

"How did you know?"

"Pompous dick...not a killer."

Max snorted a laugh. "Yeah, I guess that's about right. Callie's gonna do the de-triggering thing like she did on you."

He nodded his approval and let his eyes close for a moment, as if just keeping his eyelids raised was too tiring. Thinking he was sleeping again, Max kicked herself for wasting that brief window by allowing him to change the subject from himself to Logan, but after a few seconds he dragged his eyes open once more.

"Not his fault, Maxie."

"You're worried about him? Alec, he nearly _killed_ you."

Alec raised an eyebrow, "Not gonna be taken...down by some ordin...ordinary."

Max smiled, "You better not. Look Alec, don't worry about Logan. I just need you to concentrate on getting better, ok?"

He nodded.

"You scared the crap out of me, bleeding all over the floor like that. Plus it was a pain in the ass to clean up."

"You know how I like...to aggravate you."

"Then there were all the bandages and stuff we had to use patching you up. That shit's hard to come by, you know."

"Ah Maxie...you do care."

"Yeah, Alec, I really do." Her eyes stayed on his and he felt like she was seeing right inside him. He held her gaze but it shocked him how much just trying to talk had taken out of him. He actually felt lightheaded trying to get a few words out and it was a fight just to stay awake.

#

The next time he woke he was on the tail end of the morphine dose and the pain was bad. Max was still there, circles under her eyes even darker than the last time. She looked exhausted. He focused on breathing as steadily as he could so she wouldn't know how much pain he was in. He needed to convince her he was ok so she would sleep.

"Maxie? ...You slept at all?"

"I'm ok. I don't need much sleep."

"More than you're...getting."

"Look Callie needs to take a look at you while you're awake." It was so hard for him to talk, but as much as it hurt to hear him struggle, every word was a confirmation that he was still there with her and she didn't want him to stop.

"You'll sleep...after that?"

"I'll sleep when I'm sure you're ok. You need to rest, not worry about everyone else."

"I'll rest better kno...knowing you're ok."

"I'm gonna call Callie. When she's done with you, I'll try, ok?" She meant it. She knew she must look terrible, and she wasn't going to let her worry for him be counter-productive by making him worry about her.

Callie topped off the morphine and, freed a little from the pain, Alec drifted until Max gently called him back.

He was more than a little freaked out when the reflex tests revealed that while he had sensation, he wasn't really able to move his legs. Callie was reassuring; it was more than likely to be short term, the result of nerve damage and the resulting bruising and swelling from bullet fragments near his spine. As it healed, in all probability, he'd get full movement back.

Callie didn't find any evidence of cognitive impairment and Max tried to focus on that good news and not be terrified for Alec and enraged that Logan's actions had almost landed Alec in the same boat he was in. It was hard to keep in mind that it hadn't been intentional. Knowing how jealous Logan was, a spinal injury didn't feel like a coincidence, it felt deliberate.

"Maxie? It'll be...ok." Alec managed and Max snapped her attention back to him, pulling herself together in an instant. He was trying to make her feel better again, and she wasn't having it: this was about Alec. It was about how he was feeling and what he needed.

"You're right. You're gonna be fine. It's just bad bruising. Few days, you'll be up and around. Good as new."

He nodded, clearly clinging to her words and she swallowed her emotion. "You're doing great, Alec. Callie's surprised how fast you're getting better. You're gonna shake this off."

Of course he was scared. Any transgenic found incapacitation terrifying. The feeling of vulnerability, of being unable to protect themselves or their unit in case of attack was the worst thing. But he met her eyes and she was relieved to see determination there, amid the exhaustion and pain and fear.

This was just another thing he was going to overcome. He'd be stronger for it, she was sure of it. Until then, it was up to her to keep him safe.

"I've got your back until then, ok?"

He smiled, a little shaky, "You prom...promised you'd...sleep."

"That can wait."

"No, you need it."

"Not as much as I need to be with you. Alec, I don't wanna let you out of my sight." She wanted to hug him and it killed her that it would only make him feel worse.

"Maxie..." Had he been taking puppy dog eyes lessons from Joshua? How was she supposed to resist that?

She sighed. "Ok. Only 'cause it's you asking though. I'm gonna get one of the others in here to take watch, then I'll sleep when you do. Deal?"

"Don't need...babysitter." She could see how torn he was. Having someone there would mean he could rest easy while he was vulnerable but he felt humiliated to need it. She knew he wouldn't be feeling that embarrassment if he wasn't scared about the possibility of this being permanent. The only thing to do was to claim the reassurance for herself.

"It'll help me chill out. Humour me? Anyhow, Mole and Josh wanna visit. They were just giving you some space for Callie to check you over."

"Ok." Alec closed his eyes, but he was tense and she could see he wasn't drifting off. She stroked his hair, trying to relax him with the repetitive motion.

"Maxie?"

"Yeah?"

"How long..."

"How long since you were shot?"

He nodded, opening his eyes.

Max checked her watch, "An hour short of four days. But you're doing ok now. You're gonna be fine."

"Four days...Logan's still locked...up?"

"Yeah. Until Callie has time to do her thing."

"Time now?"

"When you're ok. When she doesn't need to be here."

"I'm ok."

"You will be, but for now I want her close by. In case."

"Can't keep him locked up indef...indefinitely."

Max smiled, "Indefinitely? You don't lack for ambition with the five syllable words!"

"Maxie..."

"Not indefinitely. Just a little longer. It could take hours for Callie to break down the trigger." She started stroking his hair again. "Alec, you should be taking it easy. I don't want you to be worried about this."

"Won't be worried when...Callie fixes him...he can go back to his l...life." He gasped as he reached the end of his sentence and for a moment wondered if he was going to pass out. He focused on listening to Max, feeling her touch.

"Yeah. Away from here. I told him when this is over I don't want him to come here again."

"Don't have to do...that for me...Still your...friend."

"It's for me. I almost crushed his windpipe."

Alec grinned, "You did?"

"He said some stuff. I was angry."

"You're punishing...him."

"Fortunate side effect of necessity. It's not safe to just let him go free... Look, you're exhausted..."

"I'm ok."

She was pretty sure he was fixing on Logan partly to keep his mind off his injuries, but trying to stay awake and focused was wearing him down, "Alec, I can see how tired you are. Will you sleep if I promise to get Callie on to it in the morning?"

Max was right, he was totally drained and he knew he couldn't resist sleep much longer, but there was fear at the edge of his consciousness, and Max's voice, and her face, her smile were keeping it back. If he slept, there'd be nothing between the fear and his full attention. He knew Max needed to sleep too, but he didn't want her to go. But that was stupid. Callie had said he was going to be ok.

He nodded assent and let his eyes fall closed.

_Probably_.

It was that probably that had him freaking out. He might not be ok. He might not be able to protect his friends anymore; he might not be able to protect Max. Not only that, he could end up being a liability to them. He didn't want that. He didn't want to lose Max, but he didn't want her to feel sorry for him. He pushed the fear back again.

It was just a decision not to be scared. He was going to suck this up until he knew for sure. Then he'd decide what to do.

"I can hear you thinking, Alec. Just relax. You're gonna be fine."

She knew him too well now to be fooled. He opened his eyes and looked at her, and the thought "What if I'm not?" almost came out, but he swallowed it back and kept his answer to a simple, "Yeah."

"I'm gonna be here. I'm not leaving, ok. I'm gonna get someone to watch both our backs and I'm staying right here with you."

He blinked eyes gritty with tiredness. God, he was worn out. "You're gonna...lie down...sleep properly?"

She nodded and reached for the radio on the nightstand.

"Max to Mole, come in."

"Roger. Max, what do you need?"

"Sentry duty."

"On my way."

Mole was there in less than half a minute; he wasn't straying much further than Max was.

Alec drifted on the edge of sleep, his muscles loose, his breathing a little easier now he wasn't trying to talk. Max's voice was low, talking to Mole, and then she was moving. He felt her slip onto the bed next to him and snuggle close, her forehead touching his, and then the warmth of another blanket, covering them both.

As he finally released his hold on consciousness, he heard Max's whisper, "I love you."

#

Again, it was the morphine wearing off that woke him, but the comfort of Max sleeping next to him gave him an incentive to ignore the pain.

He tried his legs again, but other than sending an agonising stabbing pain through his back, his efforts had no effect. He tried to keep his, albeit shallow, breaths under control, not wanting to wake Max.

"Hey," Mole's voice next to him drew his attention before he could start feeling sorry for himself.

"Hey."

"How're you feeling?"

"'m all right."

"Yeah, right. Nice catchphrase. I can see how you're leaping out of bed ready for anything."

"Time's it?"

"Early. Five thirty. Doc'll be in soon with a morphine shot."

Alec pulled the oxygen mask down so he could speak clearly. "Thanks for...staying. Max needed..."

"Yeah. No big," Mole interrupted, waving a hand dismissively. "Listen, you need to stop scaring the crap out of us, you know. Especially Max. Woman's barely slept in months on account of all these dramas."

"Not deliber...rate."

"No kidding. I feel about a hundred and fifty years old myself after all this and I'm holding you responsible, deliberate or not."

"Noted...Listen man. Need your...help."

"Sure."

"Logan. Need Max to..."

"You want him dead? There's folks lining up to do it."

"No. Could've been...me, you know?

"What're you talking about?"

"Trigger. Could've been me try..trying...to shoot Max. Couldn't have...lived with that and Logan still cares...about her. Gonna be tough...for him... Should give him a...break."

"Kid, you struggling to get two words at a time out is really not endearing the guy to me; you know what I'm sayin'? Should you put that mask back on?"

Frustrated, Alec shook his head and gasped, "Not his fault."

"Debateable. But not right now, since you'll probably pass out if I make you debate it. What do you need?"

"Need Max to let...Callie do the thing...this morning...can't keep him...locked up...forever."

"Max wants Callie around for you."

"I know but...not nece...necessary. Not the...only medic. And I'm...doing...ok."

"Yeah, I can tell by the gasping." Where the hell was the doc and that morphine shot? Kid needed to relax and just breathe.

"Shut up...listen."

"I'm listening." Mole said, chagrined. He shouldn't be making Alec use more words than were strictly necessary. He just wished Alec didn't think this _was_ necessary. How the hell did Logan end up with Alec on his side?

"Max should be with...Logan when...Callie defuses him."

"She's not gonna do that, man. She won't leave this room until you can walk out of here too."

Alec didn't know if Mole knew about the spinal thing, maybe it was just an expression. He didn't want to think about that now. He tried to block it out of his mind and focus.

"Not something anyone should...have to go thr..through alone... He'll need her... Will you help me conv...convince her?"

"I'm not leaving you to go be with Logan, Alec," Max interrupted, carefully slipping off the bed and back into her chair so she didn't hurt him with her movements.

He wasn't surprised she'd woken at the sound of voices, but it was too bad. Would've really helped to have Mole recruited to his cause.

"Have to."

"No I don't. Logan's a big boy. I need to be here with you." He was really pale, his lips bluer than they'd been last night. He was working too hard. She moved to put the mask back over his face, but he held her hand off with his own.

"You're saying...I'm not...a big boy?" It was like old times, backing Max into a corner to see what she'd do. Except not really that funny this time.

"No, of course not. You...I..." She sighed. "I can't look at him, Alec. When I think about what happened. How close I came to losing you..." Her eyes were suddenly blurred with tears and she dashed them away impatiently so she could see him clearly. "And I don't owe Logan anything. Not anymore."

Max's thoughts echoed Mole's, though she hadn't been awake to hear them. Alec's breathing was far too shallow, his voice was still whispery and broken, and she just wanted to put a finger to his lips and tell him to rest. But he was determined.

"Not about owing him... About him needing."

"Why do you care, Alec? He's the reason you're lying here in so much pain."

"You told me...I'm not the murd...murderer...just the...weapon. Same for...Logan..." He had to pause to catch his breath before continuing. "And the mind meld...sucks. Max, seriously...you need...to be there..."

Max bit her lip. She knew it had been bad for Alec, but so bad he couldn't countenance Logan being alone for it? If he was coming at her with compassion for Logan, he wasn't kidding.

And it was all her own fault anyway. The Alec she'd first known wouldn't have worried about Logan, but of course the Alec she loved would care. And yeah, she was the one who'd tried to get him to forgive himself with that whole 'not the murderer only the weapon' argument, but damn him now that he was throwing it back at her about Logan. Fine, he was right. Still, why the hell did it have to be her that sat with Logan?

"You won't always be...this m...mad at him."

"Alec. I don't wanna be away from you. Not so soon."

"Just a few...hours." He didn't want her to be away from him either, but he knew once the emotions of all this faded, she wouldn't forgive herself for not being there to support Logan.

"Maxie, you know Logan w...wouldn't have been brain...washed...if they didn't...know he was involved...with us... Took risks...for us."

"Would you be this understanding if I was the one got shot and lay there in a coma for two days? If I could barely catch my breath to ask you to do this?"

He squeezed her hand. He was still getting used to the idea of being important to someone for something other than his ability to kill quickly and efficiently. If the situation was reversed, would he be able to sit in the same room with Logan without ripping his throat out? Only if Max asked him to.

"No." He smiled. "That's why it's tough...being the boss... Always gotta be se...setting the...example."

He was teasing her. Yes, he was struggling, but the little taste of normality was enough to calm her fears a little. This was usually her cue to slap him on the back of the head or punch him in the shoulder. Not yet. She settled for blowing a raspberry at him.

"Sucks to be...you, huh?"

"No. It really doesn't. Not anymore," she let all her emotion show in her voice and her eyes, lifting his hand for a kiss.

He relaxed and she could see just how hard he'd been working to make his point. She'd make damn sure Logan understood what he owed Alec for this.

"You'll do it?"

"You really want me to?"

"When you've calmed down...I don't think...you'll like yourself...much if you...don't."

"Alec the humanitarian," she teased back.

"Shut up."

"Make me." She leaned close and let him stop her mouth with a kiss.

They parted, both grinning at Mole's groan of disgust.

Max put the mask back on, and this time Alec didn't resist. He wouldn't admit it, but he had been close to passing out from trying to talk so much. His gasping breaths slowed as the oxygen eased the strain on his healing lungs. He was exhausted. Then Cam was there with the shot of morphine and as the pain floated away once more, he gratefully succumbed to the pull of sleep.

#

Max dragged her feet. She knew Alec was right, but she really didn't want to go. She was scared at the thought of having to spend time way from Alec at all, and pissed at the idea of doing it to be with Logan to fix his mess.

She wasn't sure she'd be able to summon much sympathy for his pain and she really didn't want to hold his hand.

It was weird to have gone from not being able to touch him when she really wanted to, to an actual aversion to touching him now that she could. But the fact was, after his involvement in the ambush and now the shooting too, she associated him with pain and fear. Not to mention, she was still furious about the things he'd said about Alec.

But she knew she couldn't leave it any longer. Logan had been on lockdown for the best part of five days now.

Soda and Nila brought Logan into Medical. She knew it was irrational, but Max was loath to have him so close to Alec while he was so vulnerable. Still, on the upside, it meant that she was still close to Alec, and so was Callie, so she shook herself to calm the prickle of goosebumps the idea raised.

Max was at the door to Alec's room as Logan approached. His expression was grim, as though he expected to be greeted by a firing squad.

"Max." His voice was subdued.

"Logan." She remained neutral.

Callie indicated the room they were to use and Logan went in.

"Good luck," Soda offered, and Logan nodded, apparently surprised by any show of support.

Cam had just given Alec a shot of morphine and Max ducked her head back in to his room to check he was still sleeping.

"You'll stay with him in case he needs anything?"

Mole and Joshua both rolled their eyes, "What do you take us for?" Mole growled.

"Sorry..." She directed her eyes to Cam, "And you'll call us if he needs us?"

"Yep, I've got strict instructions from Callie to come get her if anything happens." Cam confirmed.

"Not that it's going to," he added quickly at her look of alarm. "He's gonna be ok."

Max nodded nervously, hovering at the door.

"Quicker go, quicker back, Little Fella." Joshua observed.

She paused for a moment, then, shrugging, she strode back across the room and laid a quick kiss on Alec's temple before hurrying out of the room.

#

Logan sat on the bed and cleared his throat nervously. "So, how does this work?"

"Pretty much like when Mia put the whammy on us that time, except it's gonna hurt. A lot."

"Way to sugar-coat it, Max."

"Would you rather it came as a nasty surprise?"

"Guess not." He rubbed clammy hands on his trousers. "So Alec's getting better, I take it? I mean, if I'm here?" He kept his voice carefully controlled and paused a moment before actually seeking eye contact with Max, recalling how badly previous mentions of Alec had played out for him.

"Relax Logan. You're safe."

"No, I didn't mean..." He sighed, "I didn't know how to act."

Max nodded, partially mollified that he wasn't asking in an attempt to gauge his own safety around her. Or at least, not just that.

"Yeah. He's doing better. He's conscious anyway."

"That's good. So he's gonna be ok?"

Max glanced at Callie for confirmation, lacking confidence to just assume anything.

"It's gonna take time, but he's strong. There's a good chance he'll make a full recovery," Callie reported.

It was a more qualified answer than he'd expected. He'd known it was bad, but locked away for days, a degree of resentment had grown from his assumption that transgenic healing would have had Alec back on his feet already and that Max was keeping him in that windowless room to punish him for something beyond his control.

"Well, let's get going then," Max prompted, keenly aware that for Alec this had taken several hours, and like Joshua had said, the sooner they started, the sooner she could be back by his side.

You're staying?" Logan asked, surprised. "I don't think I'm a threat to Callie," he reassured.

"I know. That's not why I'm here," she replied, suddenly reluctant to explain, as though it was letting him off the hook too easily.

He raised his eyebrows and she remembered this was a journalist she was talking to, and he'd push for an answer.

"Moral support," she muttered, colouring.

"M-?"

"Yes! Moral support, ok? It doesn't change anything, Logan. I meant what I said last time."

"Then why?"

"Alec."

"Huh?"

"He went through this and he said you shouldn't be alone."

Logan was speechless for a moment. "Alec said that? Why?"

Max met his gaze defiantly, "Because he knows how much it's gonna suck and because he's a much better man than you give him credit for."

Logan let it sink in for a moment, trying to reconcile it with the picture he'd built up of Alec over the past year and a half. It wasn't an easy adjustment to make. He'd need some time. And there was this telecoercion thing to get through. Which apparently was going to suck. He chose to direct the conversation down the other path.

"It's gonna be bad?"

"Yeah. For Alec it took hours."

"You think it'll be the same for me?"

"We're not sure. With Alec there were two incomplete triggers. With you there's only one as far as we know, but it's fully functional and it's actually been deployed. We don't know how much of a difference that'll make." Callie explained.

And there was another shock. He'd been convinced by Max's violent reaction the last time he'd seen her that Alec had broken in Manticore, had been triggered too. He'd put it down to Max attacking to cover defensiveness. Apparently not.

"Have you done this many times before?"

"Usually we were putting triggers in, not taking them out. Alec thought it might be possible for me to reverse it. I guess you could say he was the guinea pig." Logan was getting a bad feeling about this.

"Removing the trigger was Alec's idea?"

"Yeah, he wanted me to make sure there was no risk to all of us. The triggers weren't finished so there was no threat, but he needed to be sure."

"Alec had more than one trigger?"

Max nodded. Well didn't that make him feel like the weak willed ordinary, "Why weren't they complete?"

"We think he just really didn't want to do whatever it was they wanted him to do."

"You think I wanted to shoot you?"

Max wouldn't look at him. "Maybe not wanted to, but..." She sniffed, they were getting sidetracked. "We need to get started."

Callie cleared her throat. "Do you want to remember what happened to you?"

"What? You can bring my memories back?"

"If you want them. I can try."

Logan still didn't have a clue how or where he'd been taken or what had been done to him while he was missing; missing even from himself. It was unnerving to think of that lost time. It wasn't even a dark space, a void. If he couldn't see the date on the newspaper, on his computer he'd have no idea he was even missing any time. It was as though for those two days he hadn't even existed. It made him feel so vulnerable. They could have done anything to him. They _had_. They'd taken his view of himself as a good man, someone who fought for justice, was willing to sacrifice for it, and they'd turned him into a soulless killer. In only two days they'd turned him not just against the love of his life but against his own nature.

He nodded, "Yeah."

"They're not gonna be good," Callie warned.

"I know. But I think I need them."

"Ok."

He nodded at the two women and gritted his teeth. His pride was wounded at having broken so easily and he hated that Max was measuring him against Alec, which really wasn't fair. Alec was a transgenic after all. But he wasn't going to complain, he knew it would sound petulant; like self-justification. Now he at least wanted to measure up when it came to the fix.

#

Time marched on, past the thirty minute mark, past the first hour, and into the second. Max wished she'd insisted on doing this far away from medical, because Logan was screaming. Alec hadn't screamed so it just hadn't occurred to her to worry about that. She did feel for Logan, but she didn't want Alec disturbed and he was bound to have been woken by the noise. She wanted to go and check on Alec, but instead, reluctantly, Max took Logan's hand. She'd promised Alec she'd stay, and she intended to keep any promises she made to him.

She took in Logan's expression, twisted in pain and fear and remembered what Alec had said, "the mind meld sucks...it's not something anyone should have to go through alone." Alec didn't broadcast his pain, he controlled even the outward signs of his nightmares, hadn't screamed when Callie had done this to him; he kept himself locked down. So if he said this was bad, it was bad.

She put her free hand on Logan's shoulder, squeezing gently.

She was still angry with Logan for so many reasons, but she knew this was as much her fault as it was his. Logan had been drawn into her world since the day she'd crept into his life and stolen his sculpture of Bast.

They'd had a reciprocal arrangement, but it was undeniable that Logan had taken great risks to help her uncover the secrets of her past. He was only human, didn't have their advantages of speed and strength and training, and, since the siege, he'd been living outside her protection.

He wasn't wrong when he'd pointed out that there'd been a time when she'd have noticed he was missing. Ok, he could have handled this better, but then so could she. This whole situation was a mess.

Another scream was building in him and she felt tears collect in her eyes. She didn't wish this pain on him.

#

Alec was dreaming about Manticore. He woke disorientated to the sound of screaming and for a moment was convinced it was coming from him. Then he remembered Logan: the mind meld. He remembered his own experience of it, recalling the assault of images and sounds mounting in intensity until the agony overwhelmed rational thought.

He knew Logan would be grateful for the support, but now he wished he hadn't asked Max to go in there. She'd been tuned to the atmosphere the last time. He remembered her shuddering as she spoke of it to him. She'd been worried about him, but he'd seen how much it had affected her. And he'd had enough endurance training to go through it without a sound. How would she be feeling hearing Logan's pain tearing out of his throat in an endless howl of torment? Alec realised now, it wasn't fair of him to ask her to do this.

"Hey Alec, feeling rested?" Joshua's voice was an attempt at calm, but Alec could hear how on edge he was.

"I'm ok," he returned absently. He needed to be there with Max. If Logan shouldn't go through this alone, neither should Max. Trouble was, any attempt at movement was halted by the sickening agony of grinding bones. He pushed it as far as he could, but lifting his head too high just filled his field of vision with fireworks. On the bright side, the muffled hearing that came with being close to unconsciousness drowned out some of the yells from the next room.

"What the hell are you doing?" Mole demanded, trying to push him down both firmly and gently.

"Gotta see...if Max's ok," Alec insisted, not beaten yet.

"Man, you can't get up. You can barely breathe."

He slumped back. "Shouldn't have...sent her in," he offered, his voice increasingly breathy.

"Too late for that now. She's doing it." Mole growled, keeping a hand on Alec's shoulder in case he tried another break for it.

"Need to-"

"No, you need to relax and not hurt yourself any worse, or Max is gonna kill us." He really didn't want to have to remind Alec that he couldn't walk right now anyway.

"Mole, I know how bad...this is."

Mole fixed Alec with his most fearsome glare. It had never worked on him before, but there was a first time for everything.

"I should..."

He ditched the glare and tried for solidarity instead, "What happened to friendship? Loyalty? Huh? You _want_ Max to kick my ass?" Alec pulled on his own glare and Mole heaved a sigh, "Simmer down lover boy, I'll go."

Alec thudded his head back on the pillow, his jaw clenched in frustration. Why the hell couldn't he just suck it up and go to Max when she needed him? What good was he if he couldn't even get it together to help her with this?

"Hey!" Mole waited until Alec met his eyes, "You'll be back on your feet in a few days. Just don't push it so hard, ok? Max isn't in danger, she's gonna be fine. I'll be with her, and I'll have her back with you in no time, ok?"

Alec nodded reluctantly, grateful to Mole, but struggling to accept his limitations.

"Alec was right. Max needs to do this for Logan." Joshua reassured him.

"No... I needed her to…do it for me." It was hard not to think now that he'd pushed Max into this just so he could avoid thinking about his own situation.

"No, Alec. Did good thing. Max knows. Wouldn't have gone otherwise."

"I should be with her." He repeated.

"Alec with Max, always. No need to be in same room."

#

Mole really hadn't had any idea what had gone on when Callie had worked on Alec's triggers. He knew there hadn't been any screaming like there was right now. But, he remembered his own stints in Psy-ops, and he knew how bad that could be. If he hadn't just seen Alec freaking out about Max just being there to watch, he'd have thought maybe the ordinary was just being a drama queen with all that yelling. Stood to reason though that Manticore would do whatever they could to make reversing their work as difficult and painful as possible.

Max turned in alarm as he entered the room, "Is Alec ok?" she demanded.

Logan was deathly pale, bathed in sweat and breathing harshly. As he emitted a strangled yell, Mole finally got what Alec had been talking about. He could feel the vibe in the room like infrasound that raised his hackles and had him tensing every muscle.

Mole approached and crouched by Max, talking quietly, "He's fine. Just wanted me to check on you. Wishes he could be here with you." No point in getting Max even more freaked worrying about Alec worrying about her.

"I'm ok. It's Logan going through it," she whispered back, nodding to the figure hunched on the bed.

Mole pulled up a chair next to Max. "You're staying?" She whispered.

"Yep. We agreed I'd stay here and Josh would stay with Alec. That way everyone's got someone watching out for them and nobody needs to get their panties all bunched up."

"Thanks Mole," she smiled.

He grunted in response, but honestly he was relieved to be there. He knew for Alec it was a poor second to being there himself, but he was glad to do anything he could to ease things. He was glad that there finally was something he could do; he'd hated the helplessness of the last few days.

Mole wanted to hold on to his anger, but watching Logan suffering he felt it drain away. The guy was going through the wringer here and it wasn't like he'd chosen what had happened in the first place. Alec wasn't holding a grudge over the shooting and so he'd felt maybe he should be holding one on Alec's behalf, but now he figured it wouldn't do anyone much good, and he had a hunch they wouldn't be seeing much of Logan after this anyway.

Not only that, but he'd wanted to see how Callie was doing. He knew she hadn't wanted to do this for Alec. She had even less reason to want to do it for Logan. She didn't look great. Tense from head to toe, forehead drawn into a frown, jaw clenched, lower lip drawn between her teeth, white-knuckled fists in her lap. She was hating every second of this. Woman was a trooper though. Mole was impressed.

Suddenly, Logan let out a particularly loud yell, making the two of them jump, and then fell silent and still.

"Damn it!" Callie exclaimed jumping up and crossing quickly to his side.

"What happened? Is he ok?" Max held her breath.

"I lost the connection, he passed out." She checked his pulse and pupils, then shook him gently.

"Logan? You hear me?" He groaned but didn't wake up. "He's ok. Just needs a rest."

"Did you finish?"

"Not yet. It's not buried as deep as Alec's were. I'm maybe three-quarters done."

"Why isn't it as deep?"

"They didn't have to fight as hard to get it working."

"Is it harder, you know, with the trigger finished and all that?"

"No. There's no real difference in terms of the structure. But he has less damage than Alec, I mean, obviously, he was only with them two days and there's only one trigger, so he should heal faster."

"What about his memories?"

"That'll be last. Want to make sure I disarm the weapon first. The memory loss is more of a cosmetic thing."

"Sounds fair. Why did he pass out?" Max asked.

"Just overwhelmed by the pain I think. It's not like he's used to withstanding Manticore treatment."

"I guess." Max felt torn. She figured she should stay until Logan woke up, but this felt like an opportunity to go and check on Alec. She felt like a rotten person for wanting to leave, and especially because she was feeling annoyed that it wasn't over, would likely take the better part of another hour.

Her decision was made for her by Logan suddenly waking up again.

"What happened?" He asked, disorientated.

"You passed out. You need a break before we continue?" Callie asked.

"You need a break?" Mole cut in, deflecting the question back to Callie.

She met his eyes surprised at his concern, "I'm ok. If Logan's up to it, it's better just to get it done."

"It's not done yet?" Logan asked, more an expression of exhausted resignation than a real question.

"Maybe another forty five minutes."

Forty five? His stomach was lurching and his head pounding. His skin felt like it had been sandpapered. He felt like tenderised steak. More of this? He wasn't sure he could take it. Alec had said this sucked. That was probably the biggest understatement he'd ever heard. Horrific, unbearable torture came close. Had it been the same for Alec? Did transgenic strength have any mitigating effect on this kind of pain? He guessed probably not, judging by the fact Alec had suggested that Max sit with him and that Mole had now shown up too. And Alec had volunteered for this? It had actually been his idea?

He looked at Max and her expression made up his mind. She was barely in the room, wanted this over so she could get back to her real priority, Alec. As she realised he was looking at her, she tried to school her features, but he'd seen it, and it was worse somehow because once he'd been the one she came to and leaned on in time of need, but now he was a chore and she didn't want him to see her true feelings. It stung enough to be felt distinct from the pain of this "cure" that he wasn't convinced wouldn't kill him.

Well, he was no one's chore, no one's burden. He too wanted this over, for better or worse. Still, she would stay until this was over; he knew he didn't need to ask. If only he _could_ do this without Max here.

#

Alec felt disconnected from reality by the pain killers, but he couldn't sleep, not while Max was with Logan. He felt like he was in some sort of dream state where thoughts drifted in and out of his mind and he couldn't control the direction they took or the feelings they dredged up along the way.

Max was with Logan because Alec had asked her to be, but Max was a softie and he couldn't help but wonder if seeing Logan go through the de-triggering would bring out all her protective instincts and reignite former feelings. He trusted Max, he did, but Logan would be all soulful and stoic about the whole thing, and the feelings they'd had in the past weren't some trivial flirtation. Max had loved Logan. And Alec had stupidly reminded Max that Logan had ended up in this mess because of his involvement with them. What was he thinking? It must be the drugs. What happened to all's fair in love and war? He was practically pushing Max back into Logan's arms. And why the hell? He could be sure Logan wouldn't be returning the favour, pushing her back into his.

The screaming had stopped some time ago and Max wasn't back yet. What did that mean?

He drifted and when he was aware again his mind was running scenarios about what would happen next. Max would go back to Logan. Max would stay with Alec out of pity if he didn't get back on his feet like they all kept saying. Max would try to stay with him but it would be too hard, he'd be holding her back. He'd have to leave her; it wasn't fair to keep her with him if he couldn't be what she needed. She wouldn't let him go. She loved him. She would be with him no matter what.

"Alec shouldn't worry about future." Alec startled, he'd almost forgotten Joshua was still there.

"What? Not worried," he insisted, trying to cover his surprise.

"Alec not good at hiding emotions when drugged," Joshua smiled.

"Don't know what you're...talking about."

"Max and Logan long over. This won't change."

"Don't know that."

"Yes, know that."

"Can't expect Maxie...not to be affected. Logan's making up...for what happened...doing this." Alec pointed out.

"Max there for moral support. Nothing else. Spark gone."

"You really think?"

"Not think. Know."

"I might not be what...she thought." He couldn't bring himself to talk about his fear of not being able to walk. It was bad enough that he had to admit it to himself. But Joshua was a sharp guy and Alec knew he would understand exactly what he was talking about.

"Alec full of surprises. One of reasons why Max loves." The answer was ambiguous and not as reassuring as Alec would have hoped. What did that mean? He wasn't sure he wanted to ask. He didn't need to. Joshua read his guarded expression and continued.

"Whatever happens, Alec will find way to be there for Max. Max knows. Max wants to be there for Alec too. Max wants to be needed too."

"Maxie's our leader. Shouldn't be wasting...time worrying about me." He knew it was true, but part of him just wanted to be selfish and lean on Max, let her be his crutch. It was hard to stay strong with all that had happened the last few months. He'd only just got back on his feet before he was knocked down again. Maybe permanently this time.

And Max was light in the darkness. Hope in despair. Max was everything he'd ever wanted but known he couldn't have, couldn't deserve.

It had been ok when he'd thought he could be her wing man. He might not deserve her, but he knew he was useful to her. But right now, he could barely speak. He couldn't walk. What could he do to be necessary to her right now?

"Max is leader, yes. Leader because has respect of transgenics. Has respect because cares about transgenics. Because loves family and friends. Because not sort of person to abandon one she loves most of all in time of need. Also, Alec lots more than bodyguard to Max. Share burdens. Make load lighter. Help with hard decisions. Love her whether wrong or right. Alec totally necessary to Max."

It was definitely the drugs, Alec told himself as he blinked inexplicably watery eyes.

#

Alec finally dropped off again and Joshua sighed in relief. He knew Alec was a lot more sensitive than most people realised, but it was hard to see him so stripped of his defences. He knew how much Alec kept hidden behind the mask of indifferent amusement, behind his irreverence, but he'd never realised how much even he relied on Alec's blithe outlook for his confidence that all would be well. Joshua felt at sea in the face of Alec's undisguised insecurity.

He hoped he'd said enough to calm his fears for now, but he knew it was Max's reassurance Alec really needed. Joshua was sure Alec would be fine, would heal up and be back to normal physically, but Alec's fear wasn't about that, not deep down. It was about still not feeling worthy and Joshua really didn't want Alec to go back to business as usual on the inside. He wanted Alec to really understand that Max loved him; that they all did no matter what happened.

Joshua checked the clock on the wall. He hoped Max would be back soon. Logan wasn't the only one who needed her.

#

Callie broke eye contact and Logan felt the pressure dissipate. The images and sounds faded and with them, some of the pain. He was spent, couldn't so much as lift his head or squeeze Max's hand. At some point someone had put an oxygen mask over his face, though he didn't remember when. He was just grateful because he was too tired to breathe and his head was spinning.

"Is it done?" Max's voice.

"Yeah. Trigger's gone." Callie's voice. She sounded exhausted too. He couldn't be sorry, it was hard not to wish at least some measure of the pain he'd gone through on his tormentor, for all that she was doing it for his own good.

"Logan? Can you hear me?" Max was closer, but blurred. His eyes had dropped to half mast and he couldn't open them fully.

"Logan?"

He managed a grunt.

"It's over. You're cured. You should sleep for a while." Couldn't argue with that. His eyes closed and he slept.

#

Max's shoulders didn't unclench until she was back in Alec's room and could see for herself that he was sleeping peacefully.

"Everything ok?" she asked Joshua while satisfying herself by scrutinising Alec's face for any evidence of pain and laying a gentle hand over his chest to feel his heartbeat and breathing. It wasn't that she didn't trust the monitor, but there was nothing like the reassurance of the steady beat under her hand.

Joshua didn't answer right away and Max's worried eyes snapped to his, "Josh? Is he ok? You said you'd come get me if anything..."

"Nothing happened, Little Fella. Alec getting better."

"Then what?"

"Alec afraid about future. If he doesn't heal right."

"He said that? He admitted he's scared?" Max didn't know whether to be upset that he hadn't told her or glad he'd told someone. She hated that he was putting his brave face on for her again.

"Didn't say words, but obvious. Alec scared to need Max in case Max can't love anymore. Thinks won't be useful without legs."

"But that's crazy. How can he think I won't love him no matter what?"

"Still new to him. Doesn't see own value."

"Well he's gonna see it. I'll make sure of that."

"Little Fella needs to make him believe before healed. Needs to know love is unconditional or Alec never truly secure."

Max nodded, "Yeah. You're right." She sat on Alec's other side, facing Joshua across the bed. "How do I do that? You might not have noticed, Big Fella, but I'm not exactly the world's foremost expert on talking about feelings."

Joshua shrugged, "Expect too much from Joshua. Not prophet, or agony aunt. Or mind reader."

"Gee, thanks Big Fella. That's a big help," she paused. "Maybe I could just smack it into him?"

Joshua grinned, "Might work. Alec just needs to know what Max feels. Need to tell him from heart. No one else can help with that."

Max dropped her head on the bed in defeat. Give her a couple of familiars to pound on or a priceless artefact to steal. Give her a camp full of transgenics to order around and she was in her element. Give her a strong, independent, resilient Alec finally brought low by the past, by hit after hit, by pain and by the fear of a future stripped from him and she was lost. What could she say to him?

#

"Hey, what's going on?" Mole asked, wishing he'd knocked first then not gone in. He hadn't planned on seeing Callie yet. Wasn't sure what to say to her.

Callie sniffed and rubbed her face hard, turning away, "Nothing. I'm fine. What do you need Mole."

"Just looking for some peace and quiet. Didn't know anyone was in here."

"Oh. Ok. Well, I'm gonna go."

"You were here first. What's up?" Mole's hand hovered for a moment as thought unsure what to do with itself, and then finally made up its mind to offer its comfort to her shoulder.

Callie looked up in surprise and Mole almost pulled his hand away as though burned, but her eyes were red and puffy. She'd been crying hard and it wasn't like her.

"You wanna tell me what's wrong?" The words were out of his mouth before he realised what was happening, but he knew that he actually wanted to know, to help if he could.

"It's dumb."

"Doubt that."

"I just hate doing the telecoercion. Feels like the bad old days, you know?"

"You were doing it to help."

"I know, but I don't like inflicting pain, even if it is to help. I don't know what's worse, Alec biting down his scream on a torn lip or Logan yelling like his flesh was being stripped from his bones. Not much in it I guess. I was the one making them scream."

"No you weren't. Manticore did that. You were doing what was necessary to fix them. Being a damn good doctor."

Callie was as surprised as she was comforted by Mole's gruff reassurance but there was something about him that invited confidences. "I was terrified running that surgery on Alec. We came so close to losing him, you know. But there was excitement too, and pride, because we got him back, we helped him like real doctors. We did something good and Manticore had nothing to do with it."

"You did more than good, and you gotta know we're all grateful. But you know what, I think Alec's more grateful to you for takin' out those triggers than for saving his life, both times."

Callie shuddered a sigh, "How screwed up is that?"

"He's just more scared of hurting someone he cares about than he is of dying. I can relate."

"I guess. Mole, I'm sorry. I know how you hate to talk about this mushy stuff."

"Well, you hate doing the telecoercion and you did it anyway, so I guess it's my turn to do something I hate." He smiled awkwardly. There was something about Callie that made him not hate the mushy stuff quite so much. And his hand was still on her shoulder. It felt kind of nice.

"You know, you can be pretty cool, Mole. When you put your mind to it."

He cleared his throat nervously, "Likewise. Look, maybe you won't have to do it again after this," he offered.

She nodded, "I hope. But I will if I have to I guess. I just don't want people to think I enjoy it or they'll never trust me. I want to be part of TC, you know, part of the family."

"I think you've earned everyone's trust by now."

"I don't know. Sometimes I think when they look at me..."

"You've earned mine."

"Really?"

"Really. And my respect." If he hadn't trusted Callie, he'd have suspected that she was putting the whammy on him the way the words were tumbling out of his mouth, but the truth was, it wasn't the whammy, it was the tears clinging to her lashes and her flushed cheeks. It was her smile of disbelieving pleasure. It made him want to take away the disbelief but leave the smile.

It wasn't something he'd ever felt before. He'd always been a loner, but since he'd come to TC, since he'd raised his fist against his better judgement and pledged himself to the cause, being a loner hadn't been possible. They all relied on each other and he'd found himself becoming a friend, a brother, first to Alec, then Joshua and Max. And if these past few months had taught him anything, it was that he didn't want to be a loner anymore.

He didn't know how Callie would react, but he'd seen Max and Alec put everything on the line to tell one another what they really felt and he knew neither of them would give up what they'd found in each other for anything, even if it was taken from them tomorrow. He gathered his courage.

"Callie, I think you're something else."

Her hand found his and her smile widened.

"Did anyone ever tell you that you have really pretty eyes?" She asked.

#

"Hey Max," Jin poked his head around the door. "Logan woke up."

Max glanced at Alec. She still hadn't figured out what to say to him. She could do without the distraction. Alec gave her an encouraging smile, "Ok. I guess I'll be right there. Where's Callie?"

Jin smirked, "Callie's on a break."

"What's going on?" She asked, intrigued.

"Couldn't possibly say."

"Jin, I can put you on latrine duty." Max warned, employing her best glare.

"Now Max, that's not hygienic for a medic, you know!"

"Within your power...to prevent," Alec reasoned, backing Max.

Jin's smirk became a grin, "I'll let Callie tell you. Or Mole."

Max beamed delightedly, "You're kidding! I knew he was trippin' on her, but, wow. Good for them."

"Mole and Callie? No way!" Alec exclaimed. How much had he missed lazing his days away in this bed?

"Yeah. He's been giving her compliments and asking how she is. Nothing that'd be significant in anyone else, but you know Mole. It's totally out of character. Bet he thought he was being really subtle, too." Jin explained.

"When did this...happen?"

Max chimed in with her own observations, "Not sure when it started for him, but first I noticed was the other day when he said he was sorry for giving her a hard time when she arrived in TC. He said he thought she was ok."

Alec raised his eyebrows, "Pretty suave for Mole."

"Damn straight. And Callie was grinning like a fool. I gotta say I'm surprised he jumped in like this. Mole's pretty cautious about making friends."

"So what actually...happened?" Alec demanded of Jin, who'd taken a seat, obviously more than happy to spill his guts now that he'd started.

"Cam saw them in the mess a few minutes ago. Kissing."

Max's mouth dropped open, "That sly lizard!" she laughed. Max was especially glad for Callie. She'd worried that Callie might have been right, that using her psychic abilities to de-trigger Alec, and then Logan too might raise suspicions and increase her isolation in TC. Max hadn't had much of a chance to do anything about that, but maybe now she wouldn't need to. Mole was a great guy, one she was proud to be friends with and grateful to have at her back. Callie would not only have him on her side to weather any storm, but Mole's approval would do a huge amount to sway people's views about her.

Alec smiled. He couldn't be happier for them. Mole and Callie were awesome people and he could picture them being really happy together. They were both tough, no nonsense types, but underneath they both cared a lot more than they let on. They deserved each other, in the best possible way.

"Well, I'd better go and talk to Logan." Max squeezed Alec's arm as she rose.

He watched her go. It was natural, she did it all the time, and though he wasn't exactly used to it yet, he really felt the affection in her casual touch. And there was that automatic glance she'd given him before she'd said she'd go and talk to Logan. And she'd stayed to talk about Mole and Callie for a minute; she hadn't rushed right off. He let her actions filter through the words Joshua had spoken.

Alec wasn't useless to her. Joshua was right about that. It hadn't worked out with Logan, but that was never because of the wheelchair. Even if the worst happened, and there was no reason to believe that would be the case, it wasn't like Max was unprotected. Alec wasn't the only one in TC willing to stand between her and physical danger. And he'd still be there for her in every other way.

He just needed to have a word with himself. Max was going to say goodbye to Logan, nothing more, and Alec was doing Max a disservice by letting his fear take control of his faith. He had no reason to doubt her. Max wasn't a dewy eyed school girl. She was a strong, independent woman. She knew her own mind. Max had told him she loved him; that she wasn't going to dance around it or protect herself from it just in case. She wouldn't have said all that if she didn't mean it.

Of course none of that meant he wasn't going to work his ass off to get back on his feet. There was no way he was hanging about this hospital bed any longer than he had to. He was missing out on all the fun here. Mole and Callie? How had he not seen it?

#

As Max entered the room, Logan tried to drag himself into a sitting position but he felt as though every drop of adrenaline had been drained from his body and his arms shook with the effort.

"Don't get up," she offered. "How're you feelin'?"

"I'd say I've felt worse, but I'm hard pressed to remember when."

"Yeah. Not a Saturday night at Crash, huh." She sighed. "So, you remember what happened?"

"I remember." He shuddered at the thought.

"Corrigan?"

"Yeah. Same guy from the warehouse."

"Anything I need to know?"

"Like what? You want all the gory details?" It all felt raw and Logan was a little hurt that Max seemed not to give a damn about him beyond what would help her.

"I don't think so. I don't think any of it would come as a surprise to us. You ok?" She skated over his tone, obviously wanting to get this over with.

"I guess."

"Good. You remember anything that might help us figure out where he is? What he's up to?"

"What are you gonna do? Go after him?"

"Maybe. Don't plan on getting blindsided again."

"I don't know. I remember being in a warehouse of some kind, but I don't remember getting there or back."

"Signs, sounds, anything?"

"Heard seagulls I think, but the place was pretty bare. He still had his telecoercive there."

"That's who built the trigger."

"Yeah."

"Any others?"

"Some guards. Five that I saw."

"Transgenic?"

"I don't know."

"Ok. Thanks," she sighed. "I'm glad you're ok."

Max was about to say goodbye. Logan had dreaded this day for such a long time, but now it had come, he was surprised at how easy it was to accept. Max was right, they had all changed. He really couldn't deny her assessment of Alec anymore. He wasn't the same guy he'd been at the start. And with all the weight on Max's shoulders, maybe she did need someone who would not only share the load, but tease her and make her laugh when she was making the load bigger than it needed to be.

He didn't doubt Alec's feelings for Max anymore, it was written in the DNA of everything he did. The guy wasn't just looking to scratch an itch. There were much easier ways to do that. If Logan didn't accept by now that Alec had proved himself, there was nothing more he could do.

And Logan. What did he want for himself? Again, the honest assessment was: he wanted to share his life with someone, but not Max, not anymore. Or at least, he needed more than she was able to give. He wanted Max how she was in the early days: available, committed to his mission. Now she had her own mission and he was finally willing to admit that TC wasn't just a prison they needed to break out from, he'd seen in the past few days how much the transgenics had become a community.

But he couldn't commit himself one hundred percent to her mission any more than she could to his.

Max was a great person, passionate, strong, caring and smart but she'd always been emotionally closed off, with him at least. They'd never reached a state where they were totally comfortable with each other and he had tried to break through, and he'd tried to convince himself that it was her childhood experiences that were to blame. If he was just patient enough, he'd told himself, one day he'd connect with her on every level.

Maybe that wasn't it though. Maybe they just weren't compatible enough. She seemed to be open with Alec in a way she had never been with him. Maybe it was their shared background. There were things she'd never told him and he wondered if she'd told Alec, knowing he'd understand where she'd feared Logan wouldn't.

She'd been right.

He hadn't ever understood what the brainwashing really meant. He'd never truly appreciated how much he was a product of his privilege, and how much the transgenics were products of their indoctrination, their slavery. Now he understood viscerally.

He'd never forget that total disconnection from his conscious mind, the realisation that he'd fired that gun, that Alec was down because he'd shot him.

And now he had those two lost days back. He'd known he needed them, but having them back wasn't exactly a gift. If he was honest with himself he wasn't sure his own subconscious hadn't colluded with his captors to make him forget. The pain and fear, the knowledge of being totally powerless as they stripped him of his will. He wished he hadn't had to taste that to really understand. Alec had taken four months of it. Logan had walked just a mile in those shoes and he'd collapsed. How the hell had Alec done it?

And now, after the hostility, the irritation, the rivalry and all the rest, Logan owed Alec Max's life. His own too. He had no doubt that if he'd killed Max, the transgenics would have put him down. They wouldn't have been able to see any reason not to. More than likely they'd have elected Alec to do the job.

For a moment they faced each other awkwardly, neither sure where to start.

Logan cleared his throat. He still felt drained and vulnerable. He felt empty too but it was time to move on and this time, the last time, he was going to say the right things.

"Well, I guess that's it then."

"Yeah." Max replied.

"Look, Max. What I said the other day. It wasn't exactly my finest hour. I shouldn't have said it. And not just that. I've said some pretty awful things lately. I was jealous, but I guess you know that. I'm sorry."

"I didn't mean for it to end up like this between us. I didn't want to hurt you. This thing between me and Alec, I never expected it."

"I know. We've been drifting apart for a long time. I fought it longer than I should have done. You and Alec, I hope you'll be happy."

"You mean it?"

"Yeah, I do." He took a breath and went on, "I guess... I never really got it before, Manticore I mean. I read the files, and you told me stuff, but until I lived it... Two days they had me and they brainwashed me into a killer. I came so close to being a murderer. I didn't know myself. Part of me always thought it would be possible to fight. I couldn't understand why the others never tried to escape or rebel."

"And now you do?"

"I wish I didn't. But yeah, I do. I mean, I'll still never know what it was like to grow up in that place, to be trained to kill from the moment you were born. I guess I get now that you weren't bred to be killers, you were just bred to be stronger and faster. You were taught how to fight and you were ordered to kill. I guess I see how impossible it would have been for a slave to refuse to follow orders."

"You believe that?"

"Yes."

"Some of them did, you know. Not every time, but sometimes they refused. Alec did. That's how he knew Corrigan. He was tortured for it." It was ingrained in her now to protect Alec from all comers, whatever the threat. Even when the threat was only verbal, and only in the past.

"I know." It broke Logan's heart a little bit more that Max still wanted him to understand. She just couldn't bear for anyone to think badly of Alec. The things Logan had said about him had really hurt her. It was now or never to make that right.

"Now you're all free you don't kill unless you have to. You wanted to kill me for what I did to Alec. So did Mole and a lot of the others. None of you did."

Max nodded, but he could see from her expression how close a call that had been.

"And I shot Alec, and even though I was aiming at you, instead of holding a grudge he wanted you to help me because he knew what I'd have to go though. You said he's a better man than I gave him credit for."

Max met his eyes, defiant, challenging him to judge Alec and Logan didn't look away. "I accept that. I admit I thought I was the better man. I know that's not true now. We all have blood on our hands but none of us chose for it to be there."

She swallowed controlling her emotions. He had admitted he was wrong. It was only fair for her to meet him halfway, "It is hard to understand. I lived with Manticore's lessons all my life. I knew what they could make us do. But when you shot Alec, all I could think was how hard did you try to stop yourself? You shot him four times. How hard did you really try? I knew it wasn't fair, but that's what I thought."

"I asked myself that too." He paused and cleared his throat. "Look, Max this is a lot to ask. Before I go, can I see Alec?"

Max couldn't hide her surprise and dismay at the request.

"I'm not going to give him a hard time. I promise. I just want to clear the air."

"I don't know. I'll have to ask him if he wants to see you."

"Ok. That's fair."

Max cleared her throat and looked away. "He can't move his legs." Her voice was quiet, her tone subdued and it was as though the words had somehow been torn from her against her will.

"What?"

"Callie thinks it's not permanent, but she can't be sure and he's pretty freaked out right now."

Logan heart plummeted. He'd got an unwelcome insight into the experience of the transgenics, but in spite of two days at the mercy of Manticore followed by a few days locked up and a couple of hours of intense neurological pain, it wasn't him that had really suffered most for it, and he sure as hell didn't want to reciprocate by giving anyone else, giving Alec, that kind of insight into his world.

"What are his chances?"

"We don't really know. We don't have the greatest scanning equipment. We have to wait for the swelling to go down and see how it improves."

"Transgenic healing?"

"It's powerful but it's not magic. We're just lucky he's alive. His healing's working overtime from this and the past four months. He's doing well, but there's so much to fix."

Logan nodded, fighting a wave of exhaustion at these new revelations. Somehow he'd let himself believe that going through the telecoercion would fix everything. That it would absolve him.

"Max I'm sorry. Maybe I can help him with this?"

Max paused and Logan was aware of being sized up. It was a feeling he was starting to get used to around Max. He hoped this time at least he could measure up.

"Why don't you sleep for a while? I'll talk to Alec, see what he says." Max had some air to clear with Alec herself. There were things he needed to know before she let him face Logan, of all people.

#

"He ok?" Alec asked.

"Pretty wiped, but yeah."

"Sorry I made you...go through that again."

"Don't. You were right. I'm glad you persuaded me."

Alec swallowed nervously. Oh god, had he been right? Had she realised she was still in love with Logan?

"It was good to clear the air, you know? So we can both move on. I think he really gets it now; you and me."

She stroked his cheek where the stubble was rapidly making the transition to beard.

"Need a shave," he observed, trying to distract her from his relief. He'd thought he'd talked himself into some confidence, but one word and his insides turned to water. He didn't want Max to know how shaky he was feeling. It wasn't her fault. He needed to stop doubting.

"I don't know. I think it's kind of rugged and sexy." Max replied. He was trying to distract her, but that was ok. There were plenty of ways for her to bolster his confidence.

"You think? Maybe I'll leave it...if you like it."

"Let me just try something," She said, leaning in for a kiss. "You know what? On second thoughts, I plan for us to be doing a lot of kissing. Don't wanna end up with stubble burn. I'm gonna get someone to grab your razor."

#

Trying to keep his arm raised high enough and steady enough to shave sent agonising pains through the damaged muscles and his whole chest so Max gestured for him to hand her the razor. She was surprised when he did so without argument. Apparently he didn't feel that this was impinging on his independence.

The mechanics felt a little awkward at first, she wasn't sure how to get the right angle to give a nice smooth shave, but Alec guided her gently until she got the hang of it.

They were silent as she worked and there was something very intimate about the contact, something deeply erotic about her doing this for him while he watched her that set her heart pounding and heated her up low down.

"There, all smooth and beautiful," she smiled as she laid aside the razor and wiped away a tiny smear of shaving cream with her thumb. "So beautiful," she repeated in a whisper, stroking his cheek once more.

"Thanks," He whispered in return, a small, almost shy smile on his lips that showed her that it had affected him just as much. He caught her hand in his and pulled it to his lips, kissing her fingertips.

"Will you do that for...me again? When I'm better?" His smile turned wicked, leaving her in no doubt where the follow up would lead.

"It'll be my pleasure." She leaned close and caught his lips with hers in a soft kiss. His lips parted to greet her, his tongue just tickling her upper lip and she moaned quietly, catching his face in her hands. She kept the kiss light, using all her self control; she already felt breathless and she didn't want to take his breath away entirely.

She shifted a little so that her kisses explored the corner of his mouth, his earlobe, his eyelids, the soft hair at his temple. His breath came in gentle gasps and he whispered her name on the exhale.

She pulled back and sought eye contact, "That's just a reminder so you concentrate on getting stronger. I need you at home with me. I need you back in our bed."

His smile faded and he met her eyes seriously, "I'm gonna make it worth...the wait, Maxie. You're never gonna...want to leave...our bed."

Her heart pounded wildly at his words, but even as her body reacted to him, she knew that Joshua was right, Alec was feeling insecure. He thought he was hiding it, but his defences were all over the place with the pain, the exhaustion and the morphine. She could see he was trying to convince himself as much as her, and suddenly she knew what to say, it wasn't difficult at all.

"You are worth the wait, and not just in bed. But you're gonna take it easy for a while. I'm gonna be looking out for you. Whatever you need. I'll do anything for you."

"You're all I want...Maxie."

"Well you have me. I love you Alec. I wish there was another word. 'I love you' isn't enough. You fill me up, you save my life everyday just being with me. I look at you and I forget everything else. I don't want anything else."

Her heart was so full she was afraid she wouldn't be able to get the words out.

"When I had to breathe for you I felt like I was dying. When I gave you my blood, I'd have given you all of it. I can't handle losing you and I never want to be scared that way again. You told me you belong to me and I'm gonna take you at your word. If you are mine, I'm not gonna let you take yourself away from me. You love me enough to die for me. Do you love me enough to live for me? To not take risks like that again?"

Max really loved him that much? He was suddenly self conscious, overwhelmed by it. How had he ever deserved that kind of love?

He thought about what she'd said. If Max was in danger again, he couldn't promise he'd act any differently in the heat of the moment. But the overwhelming fear he'd felt when he'd seen Logan raise that gun and point it at Max? If that's what Max had been feeling for him, if that's what he'd put her through for days rather than the split second he'd experienced? That wasn't exactly protecting her.

"I'll try to be more...careful, but I'm always gonna...have your back."

"You'll look for another way before you step in the path of a bullet? You promise?"

"Yeah. I promise."

"That's all I ask. That, and for you to accept I have your back too."

"You'll be careful...too?"

"Yeah, I will. I wanna be with you until we're old. We have a deal?"

"Deal. I'm sorry...I never wanted you...to be scared for me. I never thought..."

"I know. You're still getting used to it. Me too. We're gonna figure this out together."

"Maxie?"

"Yeah."

"You know you're the reason...right? Why I'm still here. You said I had to...stay with you."

He'd barely been conscious, "You remember that?"

He nodded. "Then I had this...dream I think. I couldn't see you...I could just hear...your voice but it was like...you were right beside me. You kept calling me...all these pet names."

Max sucked in her lower lip. It had been too much to hope that he'd hear her, let alone remember now. "Yeah? You liked any of them."

"Always been partial...to Dumbass." He smiled, hedging, sure now that it hadn't been a dream and feeling strangely shy again.

"Yeah, but that's just for special occasions."

"Like when I get...shot?"

"And you're gonna try and avoid that from now on."

He nodded. "You can decide then."

"You won't be embarrassed?"

"Badge of honour."

She regarded him seriously, "Maybe I'll rotate then, beautiful boy. I don't like to be tied down."

#

Max was dazed with happiness. She kept replaying their conversation over and over, grudgingly grateful to Manticore for giving her perfect recall. As she headed back to their apartment to get a shower, she strolled past the half-derelict buildings and everything was beautiful. The constant Seattle rain was romantic and she loved everyone she met. She stopped in at command on the way back and she couldn't get irritated. She couldn't raise a snarky comment. In short, she didn't recognise herself.

Alec was frustrated by the time it was taking to heal. He chafed against the pain and the weakness and especially the shortness of breath. He wanted to hold Max tightly in his arms, kiss her until they were both drunk on it. She loved him as much as he loved her. It was too much, it was so much more that he deserved. But she saw something in him that was worth her trouble and he was starting to accept that maybe there was a chance he wasn't rotten to the core, that maybe she wasn't just deluding herself about him. For the first time in his life, he wanted to open his heart completely. He wanted her to know him, he wanted to tell her the things that he'd hidden way all his life. Even the ugly things. The things that had almost destroyed his soul. He wanted her to know the things that had shaped him into the man he was. He'd tell her, if he could just catch his damn breath.

#

Alec was a lot more sanguine at the idea of seeing Logan than Max was. There wasn't anything he couldn't face right now. Max loved him, no matter what happened. And so, nothing else mattered.

"Logan."

"Alec. How're you feeling?"

"Medicated. You?"

"Guilty."

"Big club around here."

"You don't tire him out, ok?" Max warned. She didn't really want to leave them alone. She wasn't sure she trusted Logan's new found understanding and acceptance to hold out under pressure, but Alec had insisted he was fine. She guessed this was different from letting her shave him. He wanted her to know he'd be ok without her for a while, and she figured maybe there was men's stuff they wanted to resolve.

"Ok Max. We won't be too long."

She left reluctantly, and truthfully Alec hated to see her walking away from him. After their declarations, spending time with Logan seemed like a necessary evil to be got through so he and Max could get on with the rest of their lives together. He figured Logan just wanted some absolution for the shooting. It was just the sort of hand-wringing angst he'd expect from the guy. Well, Logan had lost Max to him, so he figured he could be gracious and throw the guy a bone.

"I'm sorry about what happened." God, Alec looked terrible. Not only was he still really thin from those four months he'd spent partaking of the extreme lack of hospitality at Manticore, but he was pale as a ghost and breathing shallowly enough that it was obvious he still really needed the oxygen he was getting from the tube under his nose.

"Don't sweat it." Typical Alec deflection.

"I mean, I'm really sorry."

"Yeah."

Alec was really going to let it go that easily? He'd at least expected some sarcasm, maybe for Alec to have a little fun at his expense. Though he guessed, looking at him, he had his hands full concentrating on just breathing.

"Look Max told me about your legs, your back."

Alec's expression faltered and Logan wasn't sure he should have said anything. It was too late now though. All he could do was press on.

"She said Callie thinks you'll be ok."

"Yeah." Alec really didn't want to talk about this.

"I know how terrifying it is. It's natural to feel like that."

Logan was walking now thanks to the exoskeleton and a transfusion of transgenic blood, but when he'd lost the use of his legs Alec knew Logan had been told there was no hope. Alec felt foolish being so worried about what after all was only a possibility, and weird to have Logan trying to make him feel better when it wasn't the same thing at all. He looked at the wall.

"Look Logan...I'm not...you don't..." For once it wasn't breathlessness keeping him from completing his sentence. He tried again.

"You don't have to...make me feel better...about that... I'm probably gonna...be fine... So it's not as...bad as what happened...with you... And it's not like I'd be running...laps right now any...anyway... I can suck it up."

Logan was finding it hard to listen to Alec struggling to speak through his breathlessness. He kept seeing that day, Alec and Max on the ground, blood everywhere, in that first moment thinking he'd killed them both. But only Alec had been hurt. Three bullets in the back and one in the arm. They were lucky he was alive all right, but it wasn't just luck. Alec had fought hard to stay alive.

"I feel responsible. I _am_ responsible. And you know, maybe you don't have to suck it up. A lot of people here care about you."

Alec met Logan's eyes, "Yeah." What did Logan mean by that? Did he mean Max? Was he finally going to let go?

Logan decided it was time to move on. He'd wanted to apologise, but there was something he really needed to know too. "How did you fight it? The brainwashing?"

Alec shrugged. He still wasn't sure."Guess knowing what I was...up against helped. ...And that I really didn't...want to do what...they wanted."

"I didn't want to do it either, you know? I didn't want to kill Max. I'd never want that."

"Yeah."

"And, I mean, it's not any better that I shot you instead of Max. I didn't want to hurt anyone."

"Yeah. Manticore folks don't care...about that."

Logan stepped back to the question Alec hadn't really answered. "But I still don't...How?"

"Been through it before...had practice," Alec offered.

"Max said they didn't get it finished that time either."

"Guess that was someth...thing I really didn't want...to do either."

"What was it?"

"Don't remember."

"You don't remember anything?"

"Remember Psy-ops. Was there 6 months. But no details. Was lucky to recognise...myself in the mirror...after that one. Look man, can't believe...I'm sayin' this but...don't beat yourself up...about this stuff, ok? You didn't ask for this... Didn't want it... Wasn't your fault... You couldn't fight back...you didn't have a...chance, you didn't...even know what you...were fighting."

"I knew about Manticore. I've seen the things they've done."

"Yeah. Well there's knowing and...there's knowing."

"You were in Psy-ops a lot."

"I guess. Considering I was a true...blue soldier...kind of unfair...you ask me."

"And the first time was after Max and the others escaped? You were nine?"

"This an interview?"

"Off the record." Logan raised a hand, "You don't have to tell me."

"About that age, I guess."

"You don't know?"

"Manticore weren't much for...clowns and balloons." He paused as Logan's eyes went sympathetic, "Dude, don't look...so sad. It's hardly the...worst part."

"I know, but..." He cut himself off. He figured it was Alec's business what the worst part was for him. He wasn't here to get a story, he was supposed to be trying to make amends but right now, he was just prying.

"Max said it was your idea that she be in there with me when Callie dealt with the trigger. I just wanted to say thanks. You didn't have to do that. And you were right, it did suck and it would've sucked worse without the moral support."

Alec shrugged. He was trying to figure out how to get out of the conversation. So far all he could come up with was falling asleep, but that seemed pretty lame. Still, desperate times. Any more gushing and he was gonna do it.

"It was really decent of you."

"I'm sorry...I think I might have...brain damage after all. Did I just hear you...say decent in relation...to me?"

"Oh, I think probably not," Logan smiled. "Look. One other thing, then I'm gonna leave you alone."

"Ok." Alec replied warily, or maybe wearily. Or both.

"You and Max. I'm sorry about what I said that day, about breeding partners. I was jealous and it was an ugly thing to say."

Alec was taken aback. The shooting was one thing, but he hadn't expected Logan to be over his jealousy. "Apology accepted."

"You saved Max's life. I'm grateful for that. I know you didn't do it for me, but I'm grateful anyway."

"Ok."

"I shouldn't have tried to hold on so long and I said some things to her I really regret now."

"You should say...this to her."

"I did. But the thing is the stuff I said was about you."

"I figured."

"It took me a while to see past what you were like when you first came to Seattle."

"Look, Man, we don't...need to do this... I know I didn't give you...much of a reason...to trust me back then."

"No but you proved yourself a long time before I accepted it, and that's because of my feelings for Max."

"I get that. Thought you said...just one more thing. This is a long...one thing."

"I did, but I'm a writer. I have a tendency to verbosity."

"And I'm a captive...audience?"

"You'll be up and around in a few days. I have to take my chance while I can. Look, the truth is, Max and I are over, I get that now. And I can't say I'm happy she's with someone else, but I am glad that she's with someone who loves her enough to sacrifice everything."

"Thanks, I guess." He reminded himself that this was about throwing Logan a bone as a salve to his abject defeat. This high moral ground thing was a bitch. "I hope you find...someone it can work...out with. You ever think...about making a go...of it with Asha?"

"I don't know, maybe someday."

"Don't leave it too...long. She's pretty hot...she's not gonna wait...forever."

Logan half smiled. "Yeah, but... Things are so unpredictable. Don't you worry it won't last?"

"No." Well, sometimes. Ok, most of the time.

"You're that sure?"

Alec weighed it up for a moment. Yes he was scared, but he wasn't going to miss out just because of that. "We're under siege... Forever might not be... that long... No time to worry about...that stuff."

"You can just put that aside?"

"Never thought I'd have...anything but Manticore. This is more than I ever even...knew existed. I'll take whatever time...I have with Max...and be happy I got that much."

"That's really enough?"

"It's everything."

#

Logan walked out of the room thoughtfully. He hadn't expected the conversation to be so easy, for them to be able to reach an understanding without hard feelings.

"You're finished?" He looked up, startled, though he should've expected Max to be standing right outside.

"Yeah. Thanks Max. You didn't have to let me in there. Or leave us alone."

"Alec's choice."

"Still."

"Ok."

He nodded and gave her a small smile. "Oh, I have something for you. Call it a parting gift." He held out a folded sheet of paper.

"What is it?" She asked.

"Look and you'll see."

She held out her hand and took the paper from him, careful not to touch him. Not because of the virus; that was gone. Not because she didn't think she might one day forgive him; he'd done what he could to make amends. And not because she felt that there was any risk of reigniting feelings. They were long over, and she'd held his hand through the ordeal of the mind meld without a flicker of former feeling. It was just that it _was_ over. It was over and she'd closed that chapter of her life.

"Personal phone numbers. Senator Winstone and some others that might want to help. You remember we had that talk before all of this and Alec mentioned him? Dix let me use his laptop yesterday and I got found some info on him. Plus he and Luke talked to some of the others about possible friendlies. You're right Max. You guys need to go at your own pace."

After all their clashes lately Max was surprised to hear Logan finally backing down. For once she really didn't know what to say.

"Look, I wish there was some way to still be friends, but too much happened and I know that's not possible. Just remember, time comes and you need a little sympathetic coverage, you know where I am."

It was only fair to return the favour. "Thanks. Same here. If you're in trouble, I hope next time you'll call for help."

"You'd come?"

Max thought for a second, then shrugged, "Yeah. If I can, I promise I will."

It was an odd feeling to watch him walk away, something between regret and relief. Part of her wished they could have remained friends, but this detente was better than she had expected only a day ago and she was glad that they could at least part without animosity.

#

Max didn't ask Alec what had been said and he didn't ask her, there was no need and it had been an exhausting day for both of them. Max slid into bed beside him and they were asleep in seconds.

Max woke after a couple of hours, feeling better than she had in quite a while. Things were finally settled with Logan, Alec was on the mend and she was pretty sure he was feeling a lot more solid about their relationship.

Alec was still sleeping so it was time to take stock of a few things.

She arranged a discreet surveillance detail for Logan. He was de-triggered, but that didn't mean he wasn't vulnerable to re-triggering if he was left unprotected. Plus there was always the possibility of picking up a lead if another attempt was made to come at them that way.

She caught up with the command team. The new secured frequency was up and running, with the old, possibly compromised one sending out disinformation as her teams ran their various away missions around the city. There hadn't been any further run ins with White over the past few days. She didn't know if that was good or bad. It would be a relief to have it over with, but with Corrigan still at large she was keen to take it one enemy at a time.

She assigned a team to look into warehouses within the sound of seagulls, but there were a lot of possibilities: not just the shoreline, but the various city garbage dumps that attracted the scavengers. There was no guarantee Corrigan hadn't left the city entirely, or that his team was still using whatever base they'd used then. It was a long shot.

Her thoughts drifted back to the room in medical in everything she did. She figured she'd shown willing. She'd taken stock. Everything was under control for now. Everyone had something to do. Nothing needed her attention immediately. She'd been gone a few hours, the longest she'd been away from Alec since all this happened, longer than she'd spent with Logan.

#

Alec was still sleeping. Max tried to let go of her worry. He was getting better, the medics reassured her every time they checked on him, but he'd been asleep for the better part of eighteen hours, oblivious to the comings and goings of the medics and his friends dropping by to see how he was. He'd pushed himself too hard and she blamed herself for that.

It was the middle of the night and everything was quiet, everyone home, secure in the knowledge that the perimeter sentries would guard their rest. Max couldn't sleep. Or if she was honest with herself, she wasn't letting herself sleep.

The immediate crisis was over, but she felt on edge. That Alec would be ok, would get stronger, get back on his feet, get back to normal; it felt like too much to allow herself to hope for. She didn't want to be blindsided again. She didn't want to be taken by surprise when fate met her wearing the face of Corrigan or White or some new enemy and ripped everything that was precious in her life away from her again.

When she'd begun to allow herself real attachments she'd faced the fear that came with emotional dependence on the wellbeing of others. Her friends at Jam Pony, especially Cindy. It was frightening to know there were people whose loss would damage her. Over time it had only got worse, her emotional investments had deepened and now there was someone whose loss she knew would break her.

It terrified her even as she deliberately swam further out of her depth. Deliberately because her terror was in direct proportion to how much she loved and how much she was loved in return and that was what made her feel so alive. And completely vulnerable. It was only in having so much to lose that she truly realised how much she had and how lucky she was.

Max let her head rest on Alec's pillow, grateful for the transgenic enhancements that allowed her to hear his heartbeat and breathing without having to rely on machines. He sounded better, it wasn't just wishful thinking. The sleep was helping, he was resting easier and he was breathing more deeply. The gentle sounds relaxed her and pretty soon she was sleeping too.

#

Alec awoke feeling really thirsty but quite a bit stronger. His breathing definitely felt easier. Max's face was squashed into his shoulder, her hand loosely curled in his.

Sometimes when he looked at her he couldn't get over how beautiful she was. If he were the romantic type and not a cynical, cold hearted killer, he'd have been tempted to compose an ode or something. A tattered ribbon of words he'd picked up somewhere drifted into his thoughts, "...all that's best of dark and bright..." Byron, he recalled. Libidinous old seducer. Shameless, a bit like him. But Alec could recognise truth and beauty and innocent love when she slept by his side.

Max shifted slightly and snorted. Yep, that was his Max. Warm, funny, cranky, fierce. All woman, not just words on a page, not just a contrived image of perfection. She sighed deeply and opened her eyes.

"Hey."

"Hey," She snapped upright, opening her eyes wide in an effort to clear the remnants of sleepiness. "You been awake long?"

He shook his head, "What time is it?" His voice felt more powerful, sounded more like his own, even with a throat like dehydrated sandpaper.

Max checked her watch, "Wow, nearly noon. You slept more than twenty four hours." She twisted and poured some water into a glass from the jug. She raised the bed a little and then slid her arm behind him as he tried to adjust himself higher, wincing with him as his body protested. "Take it easy," she murmured, handing him the glass.

She waited until he'd finished, then taking the empty glass and putting it aside, she asked, "How do you feel?"

He thought about it. He was still in pain, but not so much that he felt like passing out. His chest was still tight, but the vice had loosened its grip so that he could almost take a breath that didn't leave him still dizzy.

As his assessment turned to the part he'd been avoiding even thinking about, Max read his feelings and slipped one hand into his and the other under the covers to clasp his foot. He met her eyes and realised both of them were holding their breath as he tested his muscles.

Relief flooded her expression in a mirror of his own. He knew his legs wouldn't carry him yet, but he could move a little; enough that he felt hopeful that things would turn out ok. "Better," he smiled, "I feel better."

#

It was a couple more days before Alec was strong enough to limp to the bathroom with Max's support. He was lightheaded and breathless by the time he made it and too unsteady to stand on his dignity. In fact he seemed too happy to be on his feet to be much perturbed by Max staying to keep him upright. And her smile told him that it hadn't even occurred to her to feel embarrassed.

He was pale and sweating when he made it back to bed but Max realised how much colour he'd got back that even now he didn't look nearly as sick as he had just a couple of days ago. Transgenic healing was really doing its thing now and Max realised how many times lately she'd found herself grateful to Manticore.

Ironic considering it was Manticore causing all of their troubles in the first place. Still, a place that managed to produce a guy like Alec couldn't be all bad. It was really hard to hate Manticore completely when it had given her such an awesome family.

Didn't mean she wasn't planning how to neutralise the threat permanently.

It turned out Logan had done something useful with his time on lockdown. It was much more effective to bypass their office gatekeepers and Max found several of the contacts Logan had tracked down were willing to help. Especially Senator Winstone, who did remember Alec fondly and, when he heard what had befallen him recently, actually offered to put out some feelers as to the current whereabouts of the architect of his injuries, Robert Corrigan.

Just over a week passed before the phone rang with news.

#

**Continues soon...**

**Well, this has been another chapter chock full of angst. I promise some action to anyone willing to continue following me to the next chapter.**

**I wish I could say reviews make me write faster. They make me **_**want**_** to write faster, if that means anything, and they certainly warm the cockles of my heart...**

42


	10. A safe place to land

**A/N: Thank you so much for the reviews and alerts and favourites. Especially to the reviewers without PMs enabled, who I haven't been able to respond to personally. **

**I unreservedly accept how much I suck for not having updated this story for so long. If anybody is still reading, I don't deserve you! I have no excuses. I found it very hard to manhandle my characters into the place they needed to be and I let myself get sidetracked by real life. Basically, I lost my mojo. Then of course I got my mojo back for this story at precisely the moment I lost it for my Nanowrimo story. What are the odds? **

**Disclaimer: Are they even for sale? If they are, we should all club together to buy them, then we can play sock puppet theatre to our hearts' content.**

**So, the story so far:**

**Following the shooting, Alec's on the mend and Logan has been de-triggered. Fences have been mended, understandings reached and Max has finally said a real goodbye to Logan. She's ready to move on with her future with Alec and her TC family, but there are still enemies to neutralise if they're ever to be really free... **

**#**

**Chapter 10 – A Safe Place to Fall**

While Alec recuperated and she waited for news from the senator, Max found she was strangely grateful for the siege that had kept them all locked down for so many months. If they'd all gone to ground they'd be alone now, trying to survive on the margins. Instead they had a real community, tightly knit like one of those tiny towns in the middle of nowhere where everyone gossiped shamelessly, and nobody had two cents to rub together, but they lent each other lawnmowers and looked out for each other in adversity.

In TC, when one of them was down, all the others banded together and gave whatever was needed. They'd all been ready to donate blood. And over the days when they'd sat with Alec, she, Mole and Joshua hadn't wanted for anything. Luke had been bringing them food, and he was an amazing cook, addicted to the food channel when he wasn't hunched over his computer screen.

And it turned out that Fixit's skill for mending things didn't stop at engines, because one morning she showed up in Medical, clutching a familiar looking sweater nervously in her hand.

"Hey Max."

"Hey girl, What'cha got there?"

Fixit held out the sweater, "I wasn't sure if it'd bring back bad memories, but Ralph said you were totally bummed about the holes, so..."

Max held it up and saw that it was Alec's hoodie, the one she'd been wearing the day of the shooting. She examined it carefully, noting that Fixit had not only managed to get all the blood stains out, but over the place where Max knew there were two holes, marking the entry and exit points of the bullet that had grazed her upper arm after passing through Alec's, she had stitched an embroidered patch depicting a white dove and a barcode on a black, red and white background.

"It's our flag!" Max exclaimed. "Did you make this?"

Fixit looked down at the toe she was scraping along the edge of a floor tile and muttered something unintelligible that Max took to be an affirmative.

Max was impressed at the tiny, perfect stitches in coloured silks that Fixit had used to reproduce Joshua's design. It looked professional, better than. "Wow! This is so great, Fixit. Thank you." Max was really touched and grateful, and really, almost managing not to cry.

"You're upset...seeing it again?" Fixit risked a darting glance at her unusually emotional CO.

"Are you kidding? This is my favourite shirt, and now it's even more awesome," Max assured her, pulling her into a big hug. She released Fixit so she could slip the hoodie on and stroked her hand over the flag.

Fixit turned bright red and grinned, suddenly enthusiastic, unzipping her own sweater to show Max the t-shirt underneath, "Dalton and I made a silk-screen printing press so we could print the flag on t-shirts too. Joshua said it'd be ok his design and we gave him the first one that went right."

"Great idea! How much for two?" Max asked, indicating a sleeping Alec as the recipient of the second.

"How is Alec?" Fixit asked, artfully changing the subject. She wanted Max and Alec to have the t-shirts, but she didn't plan on charging them after all they'd done for her and everyone else in TC.

"They're talking about letting him go home tomorrow."

"That's great," Fixit looked at her watch, it was past ten. "He's still sleeping a lot, huh?"

"Yeah." Max left it there. He should be sleeping a lot, but truthfully he'd woken up several times with nightmares and pain and he hadn't been peacefully asleep for more than an hour. But he didn't need everyone knowing about that.

#

"You were hit?" Alec was aghast. Max had been so excited to show him the embroidered flag that it hadn't occurred to her that he didn't know why it had been needed.

"It was fine, Alec, just a scrape. The sweater came off worse."

"I should've checked you were ok," he berated himself.

"You did check. Right after, you asked if I was ok. It was all you said before you passed out. And it was the first thing you said when you woke up."

She could see he was piecing together the moments after the shooting, "You said it was my blood on you." He sounded angry with himself and she was shocked he was so upset.

"I thought it was. I didn't notice until later. It wasn't a big deal."

"I thought I protected you," he said bitterly, as though he thought he'd failed.

"You did, Alec. You saved my life."

"You got hurt. I thought I got to you in time."

"It was the bullet that went through your arm." She swallowed a wave of nausea, closing her eyes as the memory of him lying bleeding on top of her on the floor of Command overwhelmed her.

"Maxie? You ok?" His voice was gentle again and he caught her hand in his.

She half laughed, half sobbed and when she opened her eyes, he was looking at her in concern.

"That's exactly what you said, you know. You'd just taken four bullets for me. Two of them went right through you, but the one that would have really hurt me, you stopped with the Kevlar vest. I just wish you'd had time to put the vest on. You worry too much about me, Alec."

She freed her left arm from the sweater and rolled the sleeve of her t-shirt back, "Look, it's just a scratch. It's almost gone now."

He ran his fingertips gently over the slightly raised stripe of scar tissue. It was already fading. Max reciprocated the gesture, touching the bandage on his arm where the bullet had hit.

"That bullet nicked your artery. You could've bled to death just from that even without the other three bullets. We were so lucky it happened here and not out on a mission. We'd have lost you. You think I wouldn't have willingly been hurt much worse to spare you all this?"

He shivered slightly at the thought, but acknowledged her point, "You think I'm overreacting?"

Max laughed, "Yeah, just a little." She threaded her arm back into her sleeve and showed him the patch again. "Come on, look how awesome this is. Fixit stitched it herself."

He ran his hand over the flag as he'd run it over the scar a moment before, "That is awesome. Patching a bullet hole too. Kind of an appropriate metaphor, I guess."

"Yeah, it's my metaphorical shirt."

"_Your_ shirt? I guess I'm not getting it back, huh?"

"It suits me better."

Alec nodded, finally managing a smile, "You do look hot in it."

#

Alec was back in their apartment two weeks to the day after the shooting. He still walked with a limp, but the damaged nerves in his back were regenerating and the thigh bone that had been shattered back at Manticore was pretty well knitted by now and he was steady on his feet. He could breathe without need of extra oxygen; he could even get through whole sentences without having to catch his breath, although it was all still a lot more painful than he let on to Max and the others.

He got tired really easily. It was better than it had been, he could generally make it through a conversation now, but that first day home, when Max went to take a bath and he decided he wanted some coffee, by the time he'd walked from their bedroom to the kitchen, put the coffee pot on and waited for it to brew, he was exhausted and fell asleep with his head on the kitchen table before he could drink it.

Max touched his shoulder to wake him. Her jaw was clenched.

"Why didn't you wait for me?" She was wearing only a towel and her hair was dripping water down her shoulders.

"It was just coffee, Maxie."

"I'm supposed to be taking care of you."

"You are."

"Except that you're trying to do everything yourself."

"Not everything. Just coffee. Why are you annoyed?"

He looked genuinely mystified and she sighed. "You were all hunched over on the table. It looked painful."

"Oh. I'm ok." He was a little stiff. But he needed to be doing things for himself again.

"You know this isn't a chore for me, right? You know I actually want to help you?"

He nodded. "I know. I just want you to make coffee when you feel like making coffee, not at my beck and call. I want it to be a normal thing."

"Well, I can do that too." She picked up the cup that had gone tepid and poured it away then refilled it from the pot and made another cup for herself.

"There. I feel like coffee too. Totally normal."

"Thanks Maxie," he replied, rolling his eyes, and not sure whether to be frustrated or touched.

She kissed his cheek and went into the bedroom to dress, rolling her eyes and feeling exactly the same.

#

Since Max had told him she was waiting for a lead on Corrigan, Alec had been working harder than he was supposed to on his physio. It was slow going, frustrating, exhausting and breathtakingly painful but if Max was planning on taking the fight to Corrigan, no way was she going without his back up.

He found himself hoping the guy would stay hidden long enough for him to get his strength back. He didn't want revenge for himself. As much as he knew Corrigan was evil, and as much as Max tried to convince him otherwise, he couldn't help but feel that Corrigan had somehow been an instrument of justice, punishing Alec for his sins.

But Max had been the target, not Alec really, so it was true, he wouldn't mind some payback for what Corrigan had tried to do to Max, but all he really cared about was Max's safety. Taking out Corrigan would go some way to achieving that goal, but so far they really hadn't come out of their encounters with him on the winning side.

So, he worked until he was out on his feet exhausted. He made sure he ate plenty and slept the rest of the time. Max wanted him to take it easy, but he knew when the time came they'd need to move fast and he had to be ready.

#

Max's friends didn't tell war stories, they didn't brag about the missions they'd undertaken for Manticore. Most of them carried too much guilt about the dirty work to take much pride in the patriotism and heroism that had been as much a part of their lives, if not more. In fact, they seemed to cling to those acts of extraordinary bravery like frayed lifelines barely adequate to keep them from drowning in the shame of following brutal and merciless orders, not to mention surviving where comrades had not. They accepted absolute responsibility for betrayals that had been engineered and manipulated from the start but almost no credit for lives they had saved against overwhelming odds.

As she waited for news, Max's thoughts frequently returned to the conversations she'd had with the various high-ups as she'd worked through the list that had been Logan's parting gift. She'd been a little nervous at calling them directly on home or cell phone numbers, having been given such short shrift in her attempts to use official channels with the Seattle authorities since the siege had begun.

But not one of them had refused to talk to her. While they hadn't all been willing to put themselves out to help, they had all remembered the transgenics who had tentatively put their names forward as though even the suggestion that they could be acknowledged was presumption bordering on the offensive. Her friends were strangely diffident considering how bullish transgenics tended to be under other circumstances. She knew this was another area where Manticore's training had left deep scars.

They struggled daily with the past, but Max had burst with pride as she'd heard story after story of daring rescues, selfless sacrifices and breathtaking courage. Especially when she heard the stories that included Alec.

#

Senator Winstone called Max two days after Alec returned home. He wanted to come to Terminal City to talk through the situation, didn't want to do it over the phone. Max was frustrated. The fact that he wanted to come in a few days revealed that there was no real urgency to anything he intended to say and she wanted it to be urgent. She wanted to have a plan. She wanted to have an end in sight.

Once Corrigan was dealt with, she still had White and his Familiars to figure out. They were planning something, she just knew it. Familiars were fanatical, they wouldn't just back off. On top of that, she was still trying to figure out what her runes meant and she had no leads on Sandeman.

She really wanted to make some progress on something. Most of all, she wanted the transgenics to have some hope beyond the current status quo that meant they were pretty safe for now, as long as they lay low and stayed in TC. She still wanted more than that for them.

Alec of course wasn't bothered by the delay. She knew it was because he wanted to be ready to back her in whatever plan she came up with, but she really wanted to get it done before he was up to joining her. She didn't want him there. The thought of him being anywhere near danger again made her feel physically sick. As much as he'd promised to be more careful, she knew he wasn't likely to stand back and watch if she was taking any risks.

She knew he was working too hard on his physio and she didn't know how to stop him. She would ask nicely, and he would nod but then she'd catch him putting in extra time, or she'd just know by how exhausted and pale he was. She could order him or plead with him to take it easy, but part of her knew that wouldn't be fair. She kept trying to tell him that he didn't need to be strong all the time, but he was determined to pull his weight.

She was in a corner. She couldn't hurry Senator Winstone along, he was busy and she was asking for a favour, so by the time the day of the visit rolled around, Alec was up to meeting the senator's request and joining the meeting.

Damn Senator Charles Winstone and his connections.

#

"Kyle, how are you, son!" Winstone shook his hand warmly and slapped his shoulder.

"Good, thanks. But...uh, it's Alec now, sir.

"Alec, right of course, sorry, Max did tell me. It's hard for an old guy to get used to change. Damn, it's been a long time. It's good to see you again."

"Yes, sir."

"And that sounds odd. I guess it would be strange to call me Uncle Charlie again, but maybe we can be on first name terms."

Alec smiled, "Sure, Charlie."

"I was real sorry to hear about Biggs. Max said that was Sam's real name, right."

"Yeah." Alec cleared his throat, touched that Winstone had used the word _real_ about Biggs's name and unsure that his voice wouldn't crack. "Yeah, we lost him a few months ago."

"I saw the news. Damned waste of a life. He was a good boy."

"Yeah."

"I hear you've been having a tough time lately. You're doing ok now?"

"I'm good. Ready to get back in the saddle if you have some news for us."

"Right, down to business-" the senator replied at the same time as Max spoke. "Not back in the saddle!" she exclaimed in alarm.

"Max?" The senator made her name a question.

"Alec's still recovering."

"I'm ready to back you up Maxie."

The senator had heard enough from Max to make him wince in sympathy and wonder how exactly Alec was on his feet so soon. He weighed in, "You're a tough kid. God knows I saw that when you saved my family, injured like you were, but you should listen to Max here. She told me a little bit about what you've been through these past few months."

"We heal fast. Part of the design." Alec insisted. He wasn't going to be pushed around on this.

"Son, you're not indestructible. You should take it easy until you're really back in top condition." Winstone seemed to be showing real concern and it took Alec aback, even more so his use of the word Son. As though he actually thought of him that way.

"Trust me, I served as a young man and I know it's tough to see your friends go into battle without you, but sometimes you have to give yourself time to heal."

"See? Charlie agrees with me," Max smiled at the senator conspiratorially. She took back everything she'd muttered about him.

"I take your point, sir, but could you stay behind if it was your wife going into that battle? 'Cause that's what we're talking about. Max and the others... My family's all I have." He reached for Max's hand and squeezed.

Whoa, wife? Alec thought of her like that? She felt herself glow with warm light.

Winstone took in the expressions on both young faces and their joined hands. He wanted to support Max, she knew Alec best, and even he could see the boy was pretty far from one hundred percent, but he had to be truthful.

"My wife? No, she wouldn't go alone. Over my dead body."

Damn him, Max snorted in disgust.

#

Winstone laid out the situation. Since the publicity had exposed Manticore's dirty secrets to the light of day, there were still some mixed views on the future of its former inhabitants.

There were a few who still argued that the significant investment over the years couldn't just be written off and who believed that it would be possible to spin the publicity back around to bring the public to the view that what happened had been bad, but there was no use crying over spilt milk and, after all, what were the transgenics good for besides fulfilling their destinies as foot soldiers in defence of the country that built them?

There were others who were shocked that so much money had been spent on a project to create clearly dangerous and unpredictable individuals with problematic status. Transgenics should be made to surrender and be interned until it was established which of them were safe to be released into military service, and which were beyond the pale and would need to be put down.

Winstone was one of the few who actually realised they had met transgenics, and had seen and benefitted from their abilities. Owed their lives to these people. Among many uncomfortable feelings, Winstone was embarrassed. He realised he had allowed himself to believe the handlers' insistence that the boys he'd been assigned were of age and had chosen to serve. Winstone was doing penance for having allowed fifteen year olds to risk their lives for him and his family.

And there were others like him who were shocked that the government had sanctioned a project that amounted to slavery and torture of children. These were the voices shouting the loudest right now, buoyed up by the sympathy of the media machine and the resulting public response.

Winstone was doing his best to keep the momentum going, to keep the fair-weather allies on course. He wanted the transgenics recognised as citizens. He wanted them to be given birth certificates and passports. This was going too far for some, but there was some hope that it could happen.

What was uncertain and seemed to be a major sticking point when it came to agreeing a consensus view was how many transgenics were unaccounted for, how many could be working against US interests at this point. Surely they couldn't be given status and a free pass to the American Dream?

Max and her team were unable to satisfy Winstone on this point. They had records showing how many transgenics had been created over the years and how many had died or been "terminated" by Manticore during its semi-official existence.

What they couldn't confirm was how many transgenics had died in the fire that destroyed the complex and released the transgenics, how many had been extra-judicially executed as part of White's crusade, how many had died under circumstances similar to Biggs's lynching, and how many had simply gone to ground.

Nobody was under any obligation to come and live in TC, or even stay there if they had, and while transgenics still joined them in dribs and drabs every day, a handful had decided to leave over the last few months and try their luck in the wide world.

And of course this didn't even account for the rumblings they'd heard that some transgenics who had been out on deep cover assignments at the time of the fire had been brought in from the cold and were still serving remnants of Manticore at some unspecified location. They hadn't been able to verify their existence, let alone their numbers.

It was fair enough, Winstone conceded, but it did present a thorny problem. There was some support for providing the transgenics with status but there was a significant faction who wanted to restrict this status to transgenics who submitted to DNA tagging, for the protection of the general population.

Winstone and his core allies were trying to argue that this was unconstitutional since no other citizen was expected to provide DNA unless they chose to take up a position in one of a number of sensitive professions, such as with the government, medicine or teaching, or if they had been convicted of a crime. All a person was required to do in order to have the right to be issued a birth certificate was to be born. Winstone was working on it.

He did suggest that some additional publicity emphasising their humanity couldn't hurt. The media had moved onto other stories and once a story was out of the limelight, politicians had a tendency to lose interest and go back to their usual bickering over the intractable problem of the budget shortfall for social security and commiserating with each other over the traffic on the Beltway.

Max conceded that it might be possible to do something to raise their positive profile. She'd look into it.

The discussion moved onto Max's main priority. Dealing with enemies.

The intelligence Winstone had turned up suggested that Corrigan was in negotiations with a representative of a shadowy private foundation with interests in arms, mining, the trading of illegal gemstones and endangered species, and, it was rumoured, people trafficking. The Nemo Foundation had been a client of Manticore before the breakout, unbeknownst to the Government department funding the project. Now Corrigan seemed to be on the prowl for funding, from any source, which couldn't be good for anyone.

If he received significant funding and the project ceased to be an adjunct to the US army and became a private enterprise, there was every possibility that those transgenics rumoured still to be under the aegis of this new Manticore would be operating as super-powered mercenaries for an extremely well-funded organisation that could pose a significant risk to the stability of the country.

Something both the leadership of TC and Winstone, as representative of the Federal Government wished to avoid.

Winstone cleared his throat uncomfortably. A message had come to him from the highest level to be communicated to the transgenics. Regardless of the less than ethical circumstances, the government had paid for the food, lodging and education of transgenic children and expected to get its money's worth. Now that many of the children were mostly adults – adults who seemed strangely unmoved by this generous act of charity their government had bestowed – they were to be given to understand that the government expected its citizens, even those without birth certificates or any protection in law to ask not what their country could do for them but what they could do for their country.

Senator Winstone was not a man given to sugar-coating an ugly message. Basically, the transgenics were expected to deal with the Corrigan problem and any of his shady affiliates while the government looked the other way. Once it was satisfied that this unfortunate episode of its past was closed, it would discuss the future of the transgenics.

"I'm sorry, guys. It seems the top brass isn't interested in expending resources on finding this man. They will deal with him through the judicial process if he is found, but that is the extent of it. They don't plan to risk agents or soldiers on tracking a man who may still have a significant transgenic force at his disposal."

Max breathed carefully and clenched her jaw, "What does that mean for us?" she asked. "Are they going to turn on us if this gets bloody?"

"I wish I had guarantees, Max. All I can suggest is that you make damn sure to clean up after yourselves if it does get bloody."

"More government dirty work," Alec muttered and Max put a comforting hand on his knee.

Winstone frowned at Alec's tone. The boy he'd known had been breezy and funny. Serious about his work but at the same time charming enough that he'd stayed just the right side of a tendency to be a smart ass. The young man in front of him now obviously wasn't afraid of pain or death, had been forged in both, but he didn't carry his experiences lightly. The senator had seen files and spoken to Max but it was this that brought home to him what the true cost of the Manticore project had been.

"We'll just hope it doesn't come to that," the senator said sympathetically.

#

Since that day in the warehouse all those months ago, Max had indulged periodic daydreams of revenge. She pictured herself blowing Corrigan's brains out, or maybe snapping his neck with her bare hands, but she knew deep down they were just fantasies. She wasn't going to kill him in cold blood. If she really intended to kill him, she would have done it back when they'd raided Manticore looking for Alec.

Winstone had given them enough information to enable them to track Corrigan to a location and then left them to it. The plan was pretty simple really. They'd get Corrigan cornered and aim to have strength of numbers to neutralise any remaining hench-transgenics so that the cops could take him in and then he could slowly rot in jail for the rest of his miserable life. That wasn't a bad daydream either really. Revenge didn't come much colder than seeing your enemy facing the existential dread of life imprisonment in a six by eight cell.

#

The confrontation was slated for the next day and they sat on the sofa, Max's legs in Alec's lap going over the plans one more time.

"You really ok about taking him out if it comes to it?" Alec asked. It seemed pretty hardcore for Max, but she hadn't flinched from the idea of a full on confrontation with Corrigan when they'd spoken to Winstone.

"If it comes to it." Max was terse, determination in her voice, but her eyes didn't quite meet his in that defiant expression she used when she was really sure of her course. She wasn't looking for revenge, not in her heart of hearts, and he was relieved. They needed to be frosty. It was never a good idea to go into battle emotional.

"If it doesn't though, we'll hand him over."

"Yeah. We'll... There's no way I can persuade you to stay here, is there?" Max asked resignedly.

He squeezed her foot gently, "Would you stay here if things were the other way around?"

"Would you believe me if I said yes?"

Alec smiled and raised an eyebrow.

"Yeah that was a long shot. You know you're not up to a big fight, right?"

"I'm aware."

"Will you at least hang back? Be a look out?"

"I'm not gonna put my friends in danger. I know my limits, and I don't want to be a liability. I know I'm not gonna be kicking any transgenic ass right now, but I can't not be your back up."

"Ok. That's fair."

"Really? I was expecting more argument. I had a whole speech planned about family and standing shoulder to shoulder."

Max smiled, "I wasn't expecting you to agree to be back up."

"It was gonna be a good one too. I was gonna reference Henry the Fifth and everything: We few, we freaky few, we band of clones..."

She snorted a laugh, "I figured I didn't need a speech. I was just gonna do the pouty lips and beseeching eyes. You wanna do the speech anyway?"

"Nah. Moment's gone. You know what I do wanna do?"

"What's that?"

"Come closer and I'll tell you."

Max grinned and scooted forwards and his hands found hers and his lips touched hers, softly. He pulled back and their eyes met, smiles fading, and then they pulled each other close, falling into an almost desperate embrace.

It surprised her, how fast the kiss overwhelmed her. It was the first time since he'd been shot that they'd kissed like that. She'd wanted it so much, but he'd been so sick, so weak. She hadn't thought he'd be up to it so soon, but there was strength in the arms that held her, and though his breath came in gasps, so did hers.

Their kiss deepened, and her passion took her. Her mouth opened, inviting his tongue to stroke her upper lip and she drew his hot breath inside her, his oxygen feeding her fire. She allowed her control to lapse, she felt her heart pounding to match his beat for beat, felt the heat focus at her centre and she ground herself against him and lost track of everything but the feel of his hands in her hair, her legs around his waist, the heat of their bodies entwined.

She lost the remaining daylight, two buttons off her shirt, and very nearly her bladder control to that epic kiss. They only came up for air at the sound of banging on the door.

#

Max wondered if anything would ever go their way. No plan was ever foolproof but this one at least had seemed simple.

Senator Winstone hadn't made it home from their meeting. They'd planned to corner and subdue Corrigan and whatever team he had managed to retain. Now they had a kidnap situation and a suggestion from on high that it was their fault and their problem to resolve.

The trouble was that they didn't know what the plan was for Winstone. Was he a hostage? Was a list of demands imminent? Was he to be eliminated as an annoyance or a threat for his support of transgenics? Or was he being turned into a drone who would leave captivity ready to turn on them like Logan had?

Was it even Corrigan's doing? Winstone had publicly declared himself to be on their side. That made him an enemy of all their enemies. Plus, after a lifetime in politics, he had his own. Frankly there were a lot of possibilities.

Alec took it hard, wondering if he'd he saved Charlie Winstone's life only to be the cause of his death just a few years later.

"We'll find him," Max assured him, not entirely sure they would, and certainly not sure what state he'd be in if they did.

"Yeah." Alec didn't sound convinced, sounded as guilty as she'd ever heard him. "He was trying to help us."

"I know."

#

All this coincided with an entirely unwelcome and inconvenient White encounter. Another blindside. White had mustered groups of familiars and had four different TC supply teams pinned down in standoffs around the city. Max paced. Now, of all times? They'd been on tenterhooks waiting for him to make a move and all of a sudden it seemed like everything was coming to a head at once.

She'd planned on overwhelming force of numbers for the Corrigan mission. Now she counted up and it wasn't nearly as reassuring as she'd thought it would be. She didn't want any of the new parents out on dangerous missions. Mothers and fathers were staying with their babies. Expectant mothers and fathers were staying behind too.

The supply teams needed reinforcements to aid their extractions without causing a bloodbath. Max didn't want to lose anyone, and if possible, she wanted everyone home without drawing too much attention. They needed to remain beneath the radar until they had the Corrigan situation under control. That meant five teams. Minus under sixteens and families, that actually meant fairly small groups considering what they could be up against.

Many of the transgenics were torn as well, wanting a piece of both enemies. Between White and Corrigan, they couldn't decide who they hated more.

Max was one of the few who wasn't conflicted. Yes, she hated White, but it was Corrigan and that bastard 972 who held her attention for what they'd done to Alec, and because she was determined to get Winstone back alive so she didn't have to look at that guilty expression in Alec's eyes. And almost automatically she found a team forming around her. Alec was her backup, she couldn't avoid that. Which meant Mole and Joshua were on her team, and Ralph too, looking out for the pair of them. Gem was staying behind with the baby, but Dalton and Fixit too came to her expectantly. Soda, Nila, Fran, Hope, Luke and Dix all volunteered for her team. The guys who somehow always ended up watching her back.

#

Max had thought that Corrigan should have learned something from their last encounter and would be better prepared this time. The ease with which they tracked the senator's location was a worry in itself, suggesting that he was being used as a lure. Or maybe it was the last stand of a desperate man. Or maybe in his calculations his new situation gave him sufficient cover for a degree of confidence. Whatever, it didn't do to underestimate his viciousness, or the damage he could do.

She hoped that it was just that her hacking teams had learned a lot over the past few months, and had refined their skills. She hoped that they were really just _that_ good. Well, actually they were that good. But when had they ever been _that_ lucky?

She was struggling with memories of the last time she'd walked into a trap, led Alec into it with her. The tiny voice belonging to her worst self whispered about leaving Winstone to his fate. She liked the man, and was grateful for his offer of help, but the tiny voice pointed out that he hadn't done anything concrete yet, not really, and he'd got himself taken. It pointed out that there wasn't anybody in TC she wanted to risk for someone she barely knew.

Her worst self was a selfish bitch.

Her best self strangled that tiny voice into silence, but not to death. Both sides of her were as desperately in love with Alec as each other, enough to agree finally that it was in both of their best interests to help the senator, if only to protect Alec's conscience. Still, she knew that tiny voice would be handing out I-told-you-sos with a vengeance if anything went wrong.

#

They were a well oiled machine these days, months of stealth missions were better preparation than all the Manticore drills in the world. They all had real, varied field experience now, and they were able to organise a force at a moment's notice. They had a well stocked armoury and they had vehicles stashed at strategic locations outside the perimeter of TC. And they were fighting for their own reasons, for their right to live in peace in their city.

Still, there was always too much margin for error. Max took a deep breath, trying to bring her pounding heart back under control as she watched her teams gear up and move out. She nodded in turn at those heading for the supply teams and the Familiars and then turned towards her own team.

As they made their way to the truck, Max pulled Joshua aside, "Hey Big Fella, need a favour."

"Sure thing, Little Fella. Watch out for Alec, right?"

Max smiled wryly, "Don't let him out of your sight. He promised he'd be back up and stay out of trouble, but if things get tough..."

"He'll want to step in. Joshua understands. Sit on him if needs be."

"That should do it."

#

Before the pulse, it had been a business district on the outskirts of the city. Tall buildings, money, but it had been a regeneration project back then, just getting on its feet, and pretty far from the main business areas, and so more than a third of the buildings had still been empty when the pulse hit. The authorities had focused on other, more concentrated pockets of wealth, and most of the businesses that had survived had moved to safer areas when squatters started moving in. Thousands of people lived in the empty buildings. Now and then the cops would do a sweep, but it was more of a shakedown than a concerted effort to clean out and bring the businesses back. They were spread thin already and the high ups didn't want to have to police another district with no more money available to fund it. And of course there were some businesses still there. Mostly those that had flourished as a result of the pulse. But generally ones the cops were paid handsomely not to notice.

Their truck was parked in the shadows under a broken streetlight down the street from the building their intel suggested was being used by Corrigan. Alec put a comforting hand on Max's jogging knee. Fran and Soda were on recon, silently scaling the outside of the building to peer through windows and try to get an indication of what was going on inside. The others hung back in the truck, waiting.

When they had confirmation of whether Winstone was alive or dead, they'd know how to approach this. The situation was far from ideal, and Alec knew how much it had rankled for Max to send the others to investigate. But she was the leader; she was waiting for news from the other teams too.

"Hey," he murmured softly, "Save all that energy for later."

She put her hand over his and smiled. "I hate the waiting part."

"You? Surely not! Ms Patience is a virtue whose ass I'm gonna kick?"

She rolled her eyes. "Like you're so relaxed, Mr Where's danger so I can throw myself at it." She could hear the speed of his heart and was acutely aware of the tension in his body.

"The others will be ok. White thinks he's got us all figured out, but last time he was trying to pick us off unawares a few at a time. We know him now. We know his limits."

"His limits aren't that limited."

"Neither are ours. Plus, he's arrogant. He thinks he's superior. He'll underestimate our guys."

"I hope so."

"What else is worrying you?"

Max glanced at the others, not wanting to show her fears in front of her people, but the faces that looked back weren't subordinate soldiers, they were friends, brothers and sisters, all of whom knew her better than to be fooled into thinking she was some tough leader devoid of emotion or weakness.

"If this goes wrong today we could be back where we started, surrounded by a mob that sees us as animals. And worse, we could lose friends in these fights."

"Not like we've got a lot of choice here," Mole pointed out. "We're not gonna scuttle away like vermin, right? Your plan, Princess, make a stand."

"Yeah. I seem to remember you thinking it was dumb plan."

"Doesn't mean it can't work."

"Steady on Mole, that sounded suspiciously like optimism," Callie grinned.

They turned in unison as the truck doors opened and Fran and Soda ducked back inside.

"Winstone?" Alec asked.

"Alive. There's a pretty decent force in there. A few guys we thought were dead."

"How decent is pretty decent?" Max asked, trying to keep the dread out of her voice.

"We clocked fifteen transgenics, but there might be more. Ordinaries too."

"Ok." Max said, thinking.

"Max, maybe we should call for reinforcements," Callie suggested. She was here just in case there were casualties, but she was really hoping she was just a contingency plan. The more the merrier, and the less likely she'd be spending the rest of her day sewing her friends back together.

Soda nodded, "We could check in with the teams, see if anyone can be spared, but I think we need to get in there now, before they bring in more people."

"Maybe wait until some of them move? Hit 'em going in or coming out?" Mole offered.

"What security did they have on the senator? Alex asked, wanting to weigh up the options.

"Couple of sentries on the door. A couple in the room."

"What are you thinking?" Max asked, deferring to Alec's understanding of Corrigan and protective instincts towards the senator.

"They'll have him covered tight if they hear us when we move in. They might kill him if they think he's a liability in a fight. Or he could get caught in the crossfire. And if they get away with him and we lose them... It's risky either way, but better that they're contained, right?"

"Ok, so we're going in. Callie, you're look out in the van. Stay on the radio, report anything weird out here. Ralph? Check in with the teams, see if there's anyone to spare and have them come this way. Let's get ready to move out."

#

Each of the other teams was engaged with the familiars and nobody could be spared. Max was almost tempted to call in reinforcements from TC.

They couldn't afford to wait though, so she gave assignments and led the way out of the truck.

The building had never been legitimately occupied. It had been conceived as a series of suites for high end corporate headquarters, aimed at technology companies spreading north from Silicon Valley, but those companies had been pretty volatile even before the pulse, rising up meteorically and then crashing spectacularly, many floating on the NYSE while still being run by college friends from their parents' basements. They might have aspired to swish offices, but they didn't have the guaranteed capital for that pre-pulse, let alone after the pulse took their legs from under them.

This building was twenty stories high, mainly glass and chrome. In daylight it probably reflected light like a beacon, but in the darkness it loomed and seemed to suck light into itself. The windows were angled and the glass had been treated so that it was impossible to tell which rooms were occupied and which weren't. All of them appeared dark from one angle and light from another. It was a building dedicated to keeping the secrets of its occupants. Very Manticore.

Luke had uncovered a financial trail that linked the building to an offshore shell corporation that was a subsidiary of the Nemo Foundation, the shady enterprise that Winstone had identified as the potential buyer of Manticore's expertise. That they were installed in a property belonging to that company suggested that there was money changing hands already, and that was an additional source of motivation for the TC transgenics. They hoped to persuade any transgenics Corrigan had managed to coax back to come with them, to not trust a corporation that would view them as nothing more than line items on an asset list.

The building housed a number of other subsidiaries, though Fran and Soda had reported that their offices were empty at this time of night, even the cleaning crews having packed up for the night. The only floor currently inhabited was the twentieth floor. The penthouse. Max ground her teeth. Corrigan thought he was landing on his feet, becoming the jewel in their shady crown after everything. Not if she had a thing to say about it.

They snuck in via the sewer into the basement. Their enhanced transgenic vision meant they had no need of flashlights, and they moved silently, like ghosts, barely visible in their dark clothes.

It always felt satisfying to use her Manticore skills and training against Manticore. There was something viciously pleasing about the idea that Manticore scientists had created them to be stronger and faster and more skilled than they were and as hard as they'd tried to keep them controlled and under their thumbs, the transgenics had always found ways, small or large, to assert their independence, clones displaying individuality against the odds.

Yet there was also the feeling of being somehow at home in following Manticore training that was unnerving and difficult to accept. The idea that she was her training, her hotch-potch of DNA and that she could never escape it, not really. She knew it was part of accepting herself, and that was never easy, but Max allowed herself to put it away to be examined later and just enjoy the exhilaration of moving absolutely in sync, trusting implicitly that her family would be there with her in this mission to take back their futures.

They split into groups to cover ground more quickly. Joshua stuck close to Alec, moving like his shadow, keeping him protected on one side by the wall and on the other by his own impressive height and breadth. Max was relieved to see that Alec was allowing the bodyguard routine; so far he wasn't bucking the constraint.

Max gave her orders with looks and hand gestures and each member of the team nodded and fanned out into their positions. Joshua put out a hand and gently touched Alec's chest and they fell back. They were to remain out of sight, on watch and ready to extract the senator as soon as the others had him clear of enemy forces. Max could see from the look on Alec's face how difficult it was for him to let the others go on ahead into danger without him, but he'd promised, and he wasn't balking. She smiled at him, and he managed a tight smile in return. She couldn't resist a quick kiss for luck before she followed the others.

#

"This sucks," Alec whispered. He and Joshua were concealed in a closet close to the maintenance elevators. They'd allowed the others to clear the path ahead and they were to remain hidden until the senator was brought to them. They were then to triage his condition, and either wait with him until the others rendezvoused with them at the truck or get him straight to medical help.

"Sucks, yes." Joshua agreed, though his placid tone indicated that he really didn't think it did.

"Another week and I'd have been fine to go with."

"Hmm. A week, probably."

"Dude, are you humouring me?"

Joshua faced him abruptly, "No! Alec nearly well. Excellent."

"Yeah, so this sucks. You can't say you're happy letting the others go off into the fray without you."

"We're back up."

"That's not an answer."

"Truth?"

"Yeah, truth."

"Joshua understands Alec frustrated. Sucks to be left behind. Not feel useful. But Joshua here with important mission."

"You mean babysitting me? That's an important mission now?"

"Yes. Joshua protect Alec, make sure nothing bad happens this time. Nobody wants to see Alec hurt again."

Alec blew out a sigh. "I shouldn't have come. I can't do anything useful and you should be backing Max up."

"We get the Senator to safety. Not derring-do but not nothing. Max and others can handle selves. Alec ease back into real life. All good."

"All good, huh. I hate this. Max in there without me? It's not natural, man."

"Serves Alec right for getting shot like idiot."

Alec's mouth dropped open in disbelief, "Did you just say...?"

"Kidding. Alec always carries own weight. No shame in not being battle fit yet. Chill. Relax. All over soon, all home, fine and dandy."

"Don't say stuff like that. You'll frigging jinx it!"

"Shh then. Yes sucks, but nothing for it. Wait, be patient."

Alec ground his teeth and Joshua grinned innocently. They waited.

#

Alec checked his watch about every six point four seconds until Joshua growled low in his throat and indicated through hand signals that if he didn't stop fidgeting Joshua would rip his watch off and his hand with it. Alec positioned his wrist so that he could look at his watch without moving his hand.

#

Max felt torn. She was glad Alec was in the rearguard, safe and protected, but she felt exposed without him there beside her. Having started out their acquaintance in a state of constant exasperation with him and accepting his back up only in the absence of anybody better, by now there was nobody she trusted more to have her back in a crisis. Plus, she hated that he was out of her sight. There was no telling what kind of mischief he could get himself into without her there to keep an eye on him. Joshua was a fantastic protector, but he was very easily led by Alec's cockamamie plans. She tried to trust in his ability to follow orders and keep his promise to sit on Alec before he'd let him lead him into trouble.

They'd cleared each floor methodically and silently. It wouldn't do to allow any surprises from below. Max was heading onto the twentieth floor from the north staircase, backed up by Dalton and Luke.

The building was plush, thick carpets, which were awesome for absorbing sounds. Their steps were silent. The walls were a conservative cream, with abstract modern art on the wall. Joshua would hate the paintings, bland and soulless, chosen not to draw attention or offend disparate tastes. They said nothing, just took up wall space. There were lush plants everywhere, but again, they were boring greenery, no style. Max grinned, after all her experience of fencing stolen property, after spending all that time with Logan, it was finally Joshua who was teaching her some cultural discernment.

The most striking things about the building were the floor to ceiling windows of the outer suites that provided a view that rivalled her Space Needle and the central atrium which stretched up from the ground floor to the glass roof.

It was weird that Corrigan was here. Ok, it would be a reasonable place for him to meet clients, but to house transgenics? To train them? Deploy them? Were they all here? It seemed far too quiet for that to be the case. Or did he have another building somewhere else? There couldn't be that many of them still left with Corrigan, but still, it seemed an unlikely place for a military base. Especially a secret one. Too many people around in all those offices below, all those other subsidiary companies. All part of the same overall enterprise, but they couldn't be trusted to keep a secret this big and juicy. There had to be more to all this.

Everything was quiet so far, everyone maintaining radio silence unless they needed back up or were ready for all teams to converge. Max was starting to feel antsy. She wanted to get into it already, figure this bitch out.

As though responding to her impatience, the radio squawked low, and Max lifted it to her ear.

"Team A, come in, this is Team B," Mole's voice sounded loud in the quiet, even though the volume was adjusted as low as it would go.

"Team B, this is Team A. Go."

"Activity in the west quadrant. Have eyeball on the senator. Five unfriendlies in the room. Overheard radio exchange. There's another unit coming this way. Request back up."

"Understood. Team C, this is Team A. Converge with teams A and B in west quadrant. Move now."

"Roger, Team A, this is Team C," Dix's voice responded at once, "On our way."

"Back up team, come in," Max called.

"Team A, this is back up team. Can't we have a better name?" Alec replied in a disgruntled tone and Max melted inside at the sound of his voice, while at the same time rolling her eyes and smiling at the idea that things were back to normal enough that Alec was pissed about the mundane name his unit had been given.

"Team B has eyeball on the senator."

"We heard."

"We're converging in the west quadrant. You know what to do. Oh, and feel free to think up a better name on your way. Max out."

"You heard her. Let's go," Alec went to stand, only to be pushed back by Joshua, who insisted on going first.

"Alec hang back. Joshua taking point. Orders."

"Dude, she's not even here."

"Orders!"

"Doesn't it bother you that you're the expendable one in this mission? You could be the idiot ends up getting shot this time."

"Joshua won't get shot."

"How do you know?"

"Alec magnet for bullets. Joshua never shot."

"Joshua, you're standing in front of me. You're right. I get shot quite a bit. It happens this time? You take the bullet on its way to me. Better to step aside, so only one of us ends up bleeding on the floor."

"Not funny."

"It's a little funny."

"Not even. Shut up and stay behind." Truth was, Joshua might have found it funny if it wasn't true, but he was tired of seeing Alec hurt, and Alec's light hearted words had taken his mind's eye back to a sight he'd tried, unsuccessfully, to forget. At this point, he'd have happily taken a bullet to keep from seeing Alec bleeding on the floor again. Dumbass Alec struggled to wrap his head around Max being worried about him, let alone anyone else. Let alone Joshua, who loved his chosen brother, Alec as much as he'd loved his blood brother, Isaac.

They crept to their designated position someway behind the other teams, within earshot of the action, but out of eyeshot.

The rest of them held their positions hidden in shadows, watching, waiting for the other unit to come to them, knowing they had a better chance if they kept the action contained, nobody sneaking up on them once they were already engaged. Nobody sneaking off and giving the senator the old Colombian necktie while they were distracted, fighting for their lives.

Alec could hear footsteps, knew the others could as well, their transgenic hearing sensitive enough to discern not only numbers, but the relative sizes of each approaching soldier.

A hush seemed to descend, though he knew it was an illusion, more a physiological effect on each of them, the result of adrenaline entering their bloodstreams, readying them for action. Then the first of Corrigan's soldiers entered the room and they all held their breath, not one of them moving so much as a millimetre, waiting to reveal themselves until they could surround and control the fight.

The stillness stretched the seconds out too long, but then there was no need for Max to give the order; their training had honed them to the point that they all knew instinctively the exact moment to pounce.

All at once the room was a blur of boots and fists and the silence was broken by a cacophony of yells and grunts. Quickly, Dalton and Fran broke off, sneaking past the melee and into the room where the senator was being held and between them whisked him around the adjoining corridor out of sight of the main group, dropping him off with Joshua and Alec and following them as far as their assigned look out posts by the exits.

Alec looked back anxiously at the fighting through the internal windows, catching sight of Max's long hair flicking round as she executed a perfect spin kick and then pulling the senator's arm over his shoulder to support him in keeping up with their speedy exit, he allowed Joshua to lead them away.

#

They didn't speak as they made their way out. The building was cleared, but there was always the possibility of reinforcements arriving from outside. They hadn't had the numbers to form a perimeter guard, Fran and Dalton the only warning their people would have inside. They reached the van and Alec placed the senator between himself and the van as Joshua heaved the back door open, then the three of them climbed inside.

"You ok?" Alec asked, his voice a little raspy. Damn, he was breathless just from a few flights of stairs? The senator had some meat on him, but he wasn't exactly a heavyweight.

"Yes." The senator was gasping too, but he had grey hair and they'd been descending the stairs with a lot more haste than he was used to. "Boy, are you a sight for sore eyes. I guess that's a second time I owe you my life."

"Not me," Alec replied, waving a hand dismissively. "The others are doing the fighting."

"Are you ok?" Winstone asked, catching the uneasy tone in Alec's voice, and knowing his thoughts and concerns were with those still in the building.

"I didn't see Corrigan, or the telecoercive. Have they been there?"

"Yes, but I haven't seen them for a couple of hours."

"Did they torture you?" Winstone was taken aback by the matter of fact tone Alec used to ask that question. A question he knew Alec understood in all its subtle cruelty.

"No. They snatched me up on the way back to my office. Corrigan wanted to explain his reasons to me. Wanted me on side. Tried to explain the value of his work. Reckons he has senior officers in the military keen to make use of his transgenic soldiers. Said he was willing to stand down in return for immunity if he got to keep the last of _his_ transgenics so he could continue his research."

Winstone noted the twist of distaste that appeared on both Alec and Joshua's faces. He was taken aback at the sight of Joshua, though he tried not to stare. He'd seen transhumans when he'd come to TC to talk with Alec and Max, but there was something about seeing Joshua up close in all his unrestrained canine glory that really brought home the amazing reality of these creations. The seamless mix of animal and human, the animal characteristics that allowed them to function as the most incredible fighting machines, yet remained under the control of the undeniable humanity. One look at Joshua told him everything he needed to know. Joshua had canine DNA, but he was human, fully and completely in the best sense of the word. Obviously gentle, obviously fiercely protective of Alec, and allowing his protective nature to extend to Alec's friend, the senator, without question.

"Research," Joshua repeated the word like a curse and he and Alec's eyes met in agreement.

"That's not gonna happen," Alec asserted plainly, speaking to both of them but keeping his eyes locked with Joshua's.

"Damn right." The senator chimed in, realising that this could be a defining day for the transgenics, and knowing there were factions who would listen to Corrigan's warped views and believe that they sounded like sense. Winstone had seen the transgenics living as free as possible in TC and he'd seen those who remained under Corrigan's command and he was not going to back down now.

"Did Corrigan introduce you to 972?"

"No. He was there in the room as a threat, but I don't think Corrigan intended to set him loose on me. I got the impression he thought mind control could be counter-productive."

"And you're not hurt?"

"No, just stiff from being tied in that chair. I'm fine. How did you find me so fast?"

"Trade craft. We don't talk about that." The tone and the smile were cocky, but Winstone could still discern the unease in Alec's manner.

"She'll be fine," he tried to reassure, though in truth he had no way of knowing that Max and her team would prevail.

"Yeah." Alec sounded unconvinced. "Callie, you wanna make sure?"

"Thought you'd never ask," Callie replied dryly, not having been able to get near the senator past Alec fussing around him.

"Callie's a telecoercive. She'll be able to tell is if they did anything to you." Alec explained.

"But the telecoercive was just in the room. He didn't do anything."

"It's good you're not hurt, but you might not know if he had done something. In fact, you probably wouldn't. Don't worry. I'm just going to take a quick look around in there. Won't take but a minute and I'll be gentle with you." Callie reassured.

"Ok. Go ahead."

Callie only needed a moment to discover that the senator had escaped the treatment Alec and Logan had been subjected to and she was thrilled that there was to be no repeat of the treatment she'd been required to perform to reverse the effects.

"He's clean."

Both Alec and Joshua's expressions reflected her relief, and alerted Winstone to the seriousness of what he'd been facing.

"What would've happened if he had done something?"

"It's treatable, but you wouldn't like the medicine," was all Alec would say in response.

They fell silent for a moment and startled as one at a sharp knock on the door. Joshua glanced at Alec waiting for his nod before opening it. Sector cops stood outside, forming a semi-circle around the back of the van. Behind them two more police cruisers were coasting in, engines cut.

"What the hell are you doing here?" Alec demanded, before his brain could engage and come up with a more diplomatic response to the unexpected arrivals.

"We'll take the senator to safety now," The middle one spoke, his tone as expressionless as a zombie, face covered by a visor.

A low rumble sounded and Winstone realised he was hearing a growl coming from Joshua, unhappy that these cops were acting as though he and Alec were a threat to the senator. Even more unhappy that they were outnumbered and outside the protection of TC's perimeter fence. He noted Joshua making sure he was positioned slightly ahead of Alec and Callie, ready to protect both of them.

"Senator safe." Joshua announced, quietly defiant.

The cop's voice took on an aggressive edge, matched by his wide stance. "There's army on the way too. Don't make me-"

"Officers, thank you for coming." The senator broke in. "Like the gentleman says, I'm safe. They brought me to safety." He spoke loudly and clearly, making sure there was no room for misinterpretation.

"We're here to take you home," the cop's tone became deferential talking to the senator.

"I'll go with you. I need to call my wife. She'll be worried. But I'm staying with your command unit. Wait outside a minute." The cop looked unhappy and shifted his weight slightly forward; an aggressive movement aimed at the transgenics. The senator motioned to Joshua, who pulled the doors shut.

"I can't thank you guys enough. I'm going with them now, but that doesn't mean I'm on their side. I know how some of those guys have treated transgenics but I need to be with the sector cops and the army so I can make sure nothing goes wrong for all of you."

"You told us we'd be in this alone. We're comfortable with that. We don't like the rules being changed on us." Winstone could hear Alec trying to keep accusation out of his tone, but he was obviously wary.

"Me neither, Alec. Trust me, I didn't know they'd be moving in like this when we talked about you going in to take Corrigan. I don't know if it's because of the kidnapping or if this was always their plan, but trust me when I say I will get to the bottom of it. They'll stick to the original agreement, I'll make sure of it. You guys secure the targets, and the city will take them into custody. They will not move on you and yours."

Alec met the senator's eyes for a moment and then nodded, satisfied.

"Alec, I won't ever forget what you've done for me, and not just today."

Alec held his gaze for a moment, and then nodded. He'd take Winstone's word that the cops weren't here for them. They would let them go. He was just tense at the sight of them outnumbering Callie and Joshua. Especially when he wasn't at his best.

Joshua opened the door again and the cops moved in close, one of them putting out an arm to help Senator Winstone down. "Thanks guys. I'll see you when this is all over. And then we'll see what's what."

#

About to pull the door shut and go back to stewing on what was going on with Max and the guys inside, Alec was suddenly grateful for the arrival of the cops to take the senator off his hands because it meant that he wasn't fixing to abandon his post when the three of them spotted figures dressed in black heading swiftly and silently down the side of the building, strangely unmolested by the city's forces. They moved like transgenics, but they definitely weren't TC transgenics.

"Josh. Don't make me argue with you."

"No arguing. Joshua and Alec back up unit. Time to back up."

"Guys," Callie warned. She was going to be in so much shit with Max if she let them go.

"You stay here, in case there are casualties," Alec urged, hand on the door.

"Yes, _I'm_ staying here," Callie agreed. "Because _I_ know how to follow orders!"

"Call the other teams, ok? If anyone's free now, tell them to get over here. Relax Callie, it'll be fine, we're just going to check everything's going to plan." Alec grinned and Callie rolled her eyes. There was no point in trying to make them stay, and Mole was in there. She had the ovaries to face Max if it meant her man had a couple of extra transgenics backing him up.

#

Corrigan's first units had been a mixture of transgenics and ordinaries, and Max's teams had been able to take them on. Once the senator was secured, the fight had been loose and they had spread across the west side of the building. As they took down more of the soldiers, Max realised that those who were left were trying to shift them away from the south corridor, which of course meant she wanted to know what was in the south corridor.

They'd managed to lay all the ordinaries out and most of the transgenics before the reinforcements had arrived. The reinforcements were all transgenics, and now they were tired; she'd admit it to herself, they were struggling.

#

Alec watched Joshua's boot disappear round the corner of the staircase. He was doing his best to keep up, but he was tired, his thigh burning, knees shaking, breath sawing painfully in and out of his lungs.

Still, he hadn't spent all those years in Manticore learning to play Xbox soldier. He was the real deal. He gritted his teeth and pushed himself on, somewhere finding a little more speed so that he was right on Joshua's heels as they reached the top floor.

They followed the carnage of soldiers laid out on the ground, ordinaries and transgenics, and were relieved to see that none of them were their own. Then they followed the noise and within moments they were in the thick of it.

"Alec, stay back," Joshua urged, pulling a soldier off Dalton and knocking him out with one punch.

Alec would have done what Joshua suggested, hanging back until needed, not wanting to get himself into a position where he made things worse and needed rescuing, but there were too many of them, swarming around their people, most of whom were now fighting two soldiers each, and before Joshua could remonstrate with him any further, they were both fighting.

#

Max was still trying to get to the south corridor, but to no avail. Every time she got herself free of one soldier, she found another in front of her. Fran and Dalton, who were supposed to be look outs were now fighting too, and she was starting to wonder if getting the senator out was a job well done, and maybe they should be trying to make a dignified exit, so they could live to fight another day.

The question was, would they even be able to extract themselves? Their only advantage seemed to be the passion they were fighting with. They were fighting for their freedom. Their opponents? Who knew what they were fighting for? Not to be tortured? Not to be killed? Those motivations had seen them all through their years at Manticore, but compelling as they were, they weren't as effective as knowing you were fighting for home, for family.

#

As he took on his third challenger, Alec was tired and hurting and seriously wondering if they'd make it until reinforcements arrived. The transgenics they were fighting didn't seem quite as committed to their cause as the TC transgenics did, but that didn't stop their punches and kicks from landing brutally and with unerring accuracy on barely healed wounds.

He landed a spin kick and watched with some satisfaction as blood arced from a suddenly deformed jaw and the dark haired brawny X-5 in front of him went down with a groan. His satisfaction was short lived, however, as he felt a presence behind him, turned and found himself facing the telecoercive.

972's kick felt like a truck hitting him. Alec was sure he heard something crack inside as he slammed into the wall. His knees folded and he slid down, gasping vainly for breath. He wasn't up to this fight and he knew it, but fate didn't seem to want to take that into account. When had it ever? The others were all engaged, the sounds of fists and boots hitting flesh, grunts and curses as blows connected. He coughed weakly, just getting enough air to keep from passing out.

972 crouched in front of him, smirking, and suddenly his hand was around Alec's throat, choking him.

"You shouldn't have come here 494. You're going to die here today and then we're going to kill your friends and your little girlfriend. All the others will beg us to take them back. Some of them will be invited back. Some of them they'll let me take. Examples. I'll tear their minds apart." The savage cruelty of his words were reflected in the utter lack of compassion in his eyes.

When the story of Manticore had broken in the news, the angry mob had thought they'd seen inhumanity in the very existence of the transgenics, but if they'd have been able to see 972, up close, they would have understood they'd never seen it before and, if they'd lived, they'd pray to whatever higher power allowed them to sleep at night never to see it again.

Alec struggled, clutching at the choking hand but he could get no purchase. His body screamed for air. His vision tunnelled and his hearing drew in until all he could hear was his own rushing blood, until all there was in the world was 972 and him.

"You're not going to die easy though. None of you will. I don't work with Corrigan for the cash. I get to have fun with him. Today you're my treat."

Sarcastic retorts teemed in Alec's mind, fighting off the chill 972's words stirred in him. It figured that even dying, his brain would head for the lower ground. Too bad he couldn't make them heard.

Then 972 loosened his hold just a little, enough for Alec to take a breath. Before he could collect his thoughts, 972 tipped his head to the side and caught Alec's eyes with his own and pain exploded in his head, a million images racing across his vision and he was back in Manticore, no way to escape, no hope of rescue, nothing but pain and pain and pain.

#

Max saw Alec engage with 972 and swore, taking an unexpected punch in the jaw as reward for her distraction. She threw one in return, her opponent's head snapping back with a satisfying crack. Alec wasn't supposed to be fighting. He wasn't ready for this. What the hell was Joshua thinking, letting Alec out of his sight? She looked around and saw that everyone was fighting, look outs included. How had Corrigan mustered this force?

She circled the man in front of her, both of them wary. Max was bleeding from a split lip and the man raised a hand to wipe blood from his nose. He struck again and they exchanged a quick flurry of blows and kicks until they were both on the ground, struggling for dominance. For a moment he had her pinned, then she got a lucky knee to his groin and he rolled off her with an agonised cry. She flipped onto her feet and took him out of the fight with a well placed kick to the head, knocking him unconscious.

She turned back to Alec and her heart pounded painfully as she spotted him on the ground leaning against the wall with 972's hand around his throat. She went to blur to him only to be held back by a hand grabbing her wrist, spinning her back and she was fighting again, desperately, using every dirty trick she could think of. She had to get to Alec.

Trouble was, these transgenics had been out in the world and had learned some dirty tricks of their own, and suddenly she found herself lying on her back, hands pinned above her head and a knee in her stomach. She heaved awkwardly, trying to tip him off, but he was heavier and she couldn't shift him. She growled in frustration. She had to get to Alec, she couldn't think of anything else.

The soldier pinning her used his free hand to grab her hair and slam her head into the floor, dazing her, and she realised that to help Alec, she'd need to put him out of her mind for a moment and focus solely on dealing with her opponent.

She couldn't get her hands free and with his heavier frame weighing her down, she couldn't get any leverage. He went to slam her head again and she knew if he knocked her out, it was over. She took advantage of his focus and shoved her legs up as hard as she could, tipping him higher up onto her abdomen, then she quickly locked her freed legs around his neck and pulled him off balance, rising with his downward momentum and freeing her hands as he lost the advantage of gravity. Still using her legs, she slammed him down into the ground and followed up with a heel kick to his face.

Snapping up to her feet just as he did, she engaged again. His body blow winded her badly and she doubled over, but as he leaned down, grabbing her hair, thinking he had her beaten, she played her dirtiest trick and poked him in the eyes. He reared back with a scream and she finished him with a solid roundhouse kick to the head. He went down in silence.

She finally turned back to Alec, terrified of what she'd see. 972 wasn't next to him anymore, instead fighting desperately against an enraged Joshua. Alec was still sitting on the ground, back against the wall, his knees raised. He wasn't fighting, he wasn't even moving.

"Alec!" Her panicked call didn't rouse him and she ran to him, shoulder charging another of Corrigan's soldiers towards Mole for summary dispatch.

She dropped to Alec's side and put a hand on his leg, "Alec?"

His eyes were open, and there were bruises already coming up around his neck, but he was breathing ok. He was conscious, but seemed totally unaware of what was going on around him. His body was rigid, his eyes fixed on something she couldn't see and his lips moved soundlessly. She put a hand to his cheek, "Alec, answer me! You're scaring me. Can you hear me?"

He didn't respond and a moment later he flinched and gasped as though he'd taken a vicious blow. 972. That bastard had done something to Alec, trapped him in some sort of waking nightmare.

"Alec, come on, please, come back to me!"

Nothing. She opened her mouth to try again and was pulled away roughly and thrown to the ground. She grunted painfully at the impact and rolled over to see her attacker.

"I don't have time for this," she growled, "Back off and I won't have to kill you!"

He snorted derisively and moved into a defensive stance. She knew this guy from her second stint at Manticore. One of the other X5s she'd been paired with a couple of times for sparring. X5-327. One of the ones who'd never felt the need for a name of his own. At least she knew his moves. Unfortunately, he knew hers too. They circled warily, sizing each other up, but Max was impatient and went in for a kick. 327 was ready and caught her leg, throwing her down again. She swept her free leg as he shifted for a good position and took his legs out from under him. They both flipped to their feet, kicking, punching, mostly blocking each other, but occasionally landing or taking a stinging blow.

He got in a lucky kick to her sternum and she flew back into the wall, winded. She staggered to her feet. Man, she was getting tired. He pressed his advantage with a left hook that snapped her head to the side and had her seeing stars.

She shook her head, trying to clear it and reacted purely on instinct when he came closer and he grunted in surprise as she landed a vicious upper cut and jabbed her knee into his belly.

She risked a quick glance around. Nila was struggling to his knees, the X6 girl who'd put him there taking a pounding from Soda and Fran. Joshua and Ralph were double teaming 972, trying to keep him from getting eye contact, but he was as sneaky and brutal a fighter as he was a torturer and they had their hands full.

Mole was fighting two of them, a broad shouldered machine of an X5 and a sinuous transhuman woman with the look and manner of a snake. Mole was holding his own, but Dalton and Hope were both down, Hope's leg a very unnatural shape and Dalton propped in her lap, not moving.

Fixit and Zero were still fighting; Luke and Dix too. A fair number of Corrigan's second wave was down for the count, but most were still in the fray.

And Alec. He was still lost in whatever hell 972 had sent him to.

Max turned back. There was nothing she could do for Alec until they were secured. 327 had recovered himself and they circled again, and then her heart sank as 972 joined him. She saw past him, Joshua and Ralph both sitting on the floor staring blankly into space. Shit. She didn't look at the telecoercive, keeping him in her peripheral vision.

She fought hard, but they quickly overpowered her and she found herself crowded back towards the barrier that followed the edge of the atrium and in a sudden, awful moment, her stomach lurched as 327 just grabbed her up and threw her over the barrier.

She let out an involuntary and undignified scream of panic as she reached for the railing, and her fingertips slid off the smooth surface and then she was falling. In a split second she calculated the distance. Too far. She'd be smashed to pieces on the shiny marble tiles of the lobby floor, twenty storeys below.

#

Alec was trapped in Manticore. No way to escape his bonds, no way to defend himself against the blows or to block out the pain. He'd never escaped, he would be there always. The laser burned through his eye and into his brain, the excruciating pain overwhelming coherent thought. He couldn't plan, he couldn't protect himself. He couldn't even blink.

He was so cold. It was always so cold in here. His fingers were clumsy with it, his lungs ached with it. The pain increased, swelling and flooding him, skin tearing, bones breaking, his brain burning and he screamed, no way to hold it in.

His head was full of screams and they were the screams of his victims as much as his own.

He deserved this pain. Whatever Max said about who was the weapon and who was the murderer, he knew he deserved it. He listened to the screams and watched the images flash through his mind. He knew them. He knew which scream belonged to which victim, even though in reality most of them hadn't screamed; death had come swiftly. If they had to die, he didn't draw it out. He'd never enjoyed their pain. He'd been merciful at least... unless he'd been ordered not to be. The screams took his breath away. This was the worst of the torture, hearing those screams for hours and days and weeks, the sound overwhelming him until it was all he could hear even in the silence.

And then another voice broke through, rising above the others, no louder, no more agonised or more terrified than the others but it reached him anyway. It reached him because he knew that voice as well as his own. Max. And she _was_ real and she was _now_, and her scream meant she needed him.

His eyes snapped into focus as she went over the edge and without a moment's thought, without even processing the knowledge that he was free, he followed her.

#

Alec vaulted the rail and as he grabbed on with his left hand, he caught her wrist with his right and held on tight.

#

Max had time enough to realise she was going to die and then she wasn't. A strong, warm hand gripped hers tightly and she wasn't falling. She was safe.

#

As the tension bit Alec's chest exploded with pain, the scarred muscles stretched taut over still healing ribs, and he was sure his sternum would tear open.

He gritted his teeth and clung on, and then sudden agony in his left hand threatened to break his grip. He looked up just as 972 slammed a gun butt into his hand for a second time. He held tighter, doing his best to drown out the pain. There was no way he was letting Max fall.

"Alec! Oh god, you have to let me go! You're gonna hurt yourself!" Max begged.

"No way! Hang on Max. Agh!" He cried out involuntarily as the gun slammed into his hand again. His chest was tight with pain and it was hard to breathe. He needed help but he had no strength to spare to shout. As though reading his mind, Max yelled out.

"Help! We need help over here!"

She knew she could swing herself up to grasp the railing herself but she was scared she'd hurt Alec, or worse, dislodge his grip. She couldn't just hang here, weighing him down, tearing him apart. She didn't know what to do. She knew he wouldn't let go voluntarily.

Suddenly there was a pained grunt from above and the hand holding the gun disappeared from view. Then Alec was slowly, painfully hauling her up. She stretched the tips of her fingers on her free hand, trying the reach the rail that much sooner to relieve the strain from him. Her fingers scrabbled on the smooth metal for a moment, then she grasped it firmly and took back her weight gratefully, putting her efforts into helping him pull himself up. She placed a supporting hand on Alec's back as he finally slid over the barrier and landed in an ungainly heap on the floor.

#

Max got her feet underneath her and glanced around. 972's gun lay on the floor and Mole was fighting both the telecoercive and 327. Aware of Alec's laboured breathing, she turned back, putting a hand out to help steady him as he gathered his strength in preparation for an attempt to stand.

As her hand brushed his, she heard the click of a gun being cocked and her head snapped around again. Mole was on the floor now, trying to hold off 327 while 972 was right in front of them, a second gun in his hand, pointed right at them.

And slightly behind him, Corrigan stood flanked by two bodyguards, a self-satisfied expression on his face.

972 glanced at Corrigan, who nodded briefly, allowing him to take the lead.

Alec sat on the floor, his back against the wall and 972 regarded him with curiosity, "You broke my hold. How did you do that?"

Max's eyes darted to the gun on the ground, only a couple of yards from her position. She could get there fast, but 972 was a transgenic too and he already had a gun in his hand.

She caught Alec's eye and the split second of contact was enough for them to communicate their plan. They needed to keep the telecoercive's focus distracted. "What can I say? You're not that compelling." Alec smirked.

"I don't know. I think I can keep your attention if I try a little harder."

972 tried for eye contact again, but Alec kept his eyes averted, watching the gun in the telecoercive's hand.

Max inched towards the gun on the floor. She hated this, she hated that Alec was the diversion. She wanted 972's attention on her, but Alec wasn't up to full strength, he hadn't even made it to his feet yet. There was no way they could switch roles. She risked another tiny step.

She spared a glance at Corrigan a step or two behind his telecoercive, looking on. He was trying to appear aloof, but she could hear his heart pounding and his expression was a combination of excitement at their discomfort and concern for himself. He made her feel nauseated. He was a puppet master, too cowardly to fight, but happy to watch, happy to inflict pain on those stronger than him using borrowed strength. He made the plans, he gave the orders. She hated him more than she hated 972. More than she'd ever hated anyone in her life.

She forced herself to put him out of her mind. While he had his soldiers fighting hers, and while he had his telecoercive standing between them, he wasn't a direct threat. He was just there enjoying the show. She turned her attention back to Alec.

"I don't know man, we've just gotta face facts. We gave it four months and it just didn't take," Alec shook his head sadly. "But I don't want you to feel bad. It's not you, it's me."

Max would've sniggered if she wasn't so freaked out. 972 growled in annoyance and Max risked another step. Alec was in danger of distracting 972 from her to the point where the telecoercive would just go ahead and kill him out of sheer annoyance.

"Funny. You weren't laughing when I put those screams in your head."

Max glanced at Alec. He was still smiling, but his expression had frozen. He wasn't enjoying this, not even a tiny little bit. Screams? What was 972 talking about?

"What's your story?" Alec asked curiously. "You're a transgenic. What do you get out of working with this guy?" He indicated Corrigan with a nod.

972 smiled an ugly smile, "This. This is what I get." 972 gestured at the chaos around them. "I rule you. I snap my fingers and you jump to attention or collapse on the floor. I tell you to do something and you're puppets."

Alec shook his head pityingly, "That's the best you can hope for yourself? You have no imagination, man."

"No imagination?" She could see the telecoercive's frustration at not being able to get eye contact with Alec, not being able to wrest control. His voice became a malevolent hiss. "You thought insects were crawling under your skin! You thought-" 972's gaze snapped to Max as she shifted closer again to the gun on the floor. "Stop right there 452 or your boyfriend's dead!" 972 warned as he readjusted his aim at Alec's head.

Max almost froze in panic, but Alec recognised his opening and rolled to his feet as 972 followed his movement with his gun, and Max dove for the discarded gun on the ground. Alec blurred to the left as 972 squeezed off a round that went wide, while Max scooped up the heavy steel weapon from the floor, settling it in her hand as though nothing was more natural to her, snapped the safety off as she drew her aim and fired.

972's face registered nothing but surprise as her bullet found the centre of his forehead with lethal accuracy and he collapsed to the floor, dead.

Max let her arm fall to her side, still gripping the gun loosely and Alec moved closer, allowing the edge of his hand to stroke hers and they contemplated their fallen enemy.

972's eyes stared out at them, fixed and glassy, but there was no power in them now.

#

For a moment Corrigan looked at them, stunned, then he seemed to gather himself, indicating to his bodyguards that they should draw weapons as he stepped closer.

Max checked Alec's position, moving forward, aiming to get between him and Corrigan. Over her dead body would these animals hurt Alec again. But Alec moved with her, simultaneously refusing to let her risk harm for him any more than she would willingly accept the reverse, and demonstrating his defiance to the man who had almost tortured him to death.

"Touching. Protecting each other." Corrigan tapped his cheek thoughtfully. "How do you know what you're feeling is real? How do you know I didn't have that affection planted it in you? Something to develop Renfro's idea of matching you two as breeding partners. I've had quality time with both of you, you know."

Alec cast a worried look at Max. Not long ago, she might have been concerned that he was questioning her feelings. Corrigan was trying to push a wedge of uncertainty between them, but Max knew they were solid. Alec was just worried that Corrigan had hurt her. She returned his look and conveyed her response with a soft smile and a barely perceptible shake of her head and Alec relaxed, understanding she was ok. Whatever she'd been through during her captivity with Renfro, it didn't matter anymore. If they'd implanted anything, they would have used it by now. He smiled, a little cocky and very proud, like he knew his Maxie wouldn't be broken by the likes of Corrigan. His Maxie. She loved being that.

Corrigan snorted in frustration and disgust, bringing a smile to both their faces. Then his expression changed, ready to try one last gambit.

"You know, I was never going to let 972 kill you. I knew you'd come for the senator. I knew after that first mission that _Kyle_ wouldn't want any harm to come to _Uncle Charlie_. I've been making plans and you and your friends' presence here is a big part of those plans." His voice was unctuous and complacent. It took him longer than it should have to realise that Max and Alec were no longer paying him any attention.

#

All around them, Corrigan's transgenics were dropping their guards and falling under punches, or looking around them as though they had no idea where they were or what the hell was going on. Joshua and Ralph were helping each other to their feet. Corrigan's bodyguards were looking at their guns with confusion, as though they'd suddenly realised their weapons had transformed into bananas.

Max took a step towards Corrigan and he finally noticed that his protection was no longer standing menacingly beside him, but looking at him with detached curiosity, wondering what he was going to do next.

"Raise your weapons, soldiers!" He ordered, and they just blinked at him, making no move to obey.

"I gave you an order!" He commanded, his voice rising at the end, as he realised he was the only conscious ordinary in a room full of transgenics and those he'd considered his property were suddenly malfunctioning.

"What's going on?" Max asked, bewildered.

"They weren't following his orders," Alec whispered, "They were following _his_." He pointed at the dead telecoercive.

Max didn't need more than a second to adjust to this new idea. Transgenics were standing around in need of something to do. This was exactly what she was built for.

"All you transgenics who were working for this guy," She shouted, "You're free now. You can go wherever you want. But we've got a home and a family and you're welcome to join, if you pull your weight, and stop beating on my brothers and sisters!"

She waited a moment to judge the impact of her words. Everyone was listening, Corrigan's transgenics standing side by side with hers, all of them bloody and breathing heavily, but not one of them looking like they intended to do more damage.

"We're taking Corrigan and his ordinaries into custody. There are charges pending against him. He's going to jail. Before we go, I want to know what's in the south corridor. You guys were protecting it. I'm going to look now. If you try to stop me, my guys will stop you. Understood?"

"Yes ma'am!" came the chorus. Max suppressed a grin.

"Excuse me ma'am? Permission to speak?"

She turned to the voice. 327 was shifting from foot to foot awkwardly.

"The name's Max, not ma'am. Go ahead."

"Max. There's more transgenics in the suite back there. Locked up. They're traitors."

"What makes you think they're traitors?"

"He told us they..." 327 tailed off as he pointed at Corrigan and his brow furrowed in uncertainty. "He said we had to guard them. That they were dangerous...Do...Do you think they're dangerous?"

"They are dangerous, 327, and 452 and her band of renegades are just as dangerous. You know what you need to do with traitors!" Corrigan broke in, the desperation of his situation making him bullish, when wisdom would have dictated that he keep his mouth shut and practice being inconspicuous.

"So when you say dangerous, you mean they wanted freedom," Max replied, disgust clear in her tone.

"They don't know what they want," Corrigan snapped, his arrogance preventing him from deferring to transgenics, regardless of his precarious position. "None of you knows what's good for you. Those transgenics were going to fulfil their potential. They are soldiers, bred to fight, bred to kill! They were going to fight for causes all over the world!"

"You mean you were going to brainwash them and sell them as mercenaries to the highest bidder!" Alec accused. "That's what this place is, isn't it? It's a goddamn showroom!"

Every face in the crowd whipped back and forth between Corrigan standing alone and Max and Alec, standing shoulder to shoulder.

"It's over Corrigan. The cops and the army are outside waiting for you. You've got no hold over transgenics anymore. You've got nothing!" Alec's voice was low and dangerous, and Max knew that he was on a knife edge, remembering what he'd been through on Corrigan's orders, having relived it all only moments ago at the telecoercive's hands.

Faces around them reflected the same anger, the same unpredictability. Alec she trusted to keep his cool, but if there was the slightest threat from Corrigan, any one of the others could take it as an excuse to rip him apart.

"You're going to take us to the others." She ordered, taking charge while she could still keep things from getting out of control. "Then we're handing you over."

"I don't take orders from transgenics. You take the orders!" Corrigan insisted, but everyone in the room heard the shake in his voice.

"It's a brand new day Corrigan. You walk or you get dragged. Either way, you're not leaving my sight."

#

The south quadrant wasn't nearly as plush as the rest of the floor. The carpet became white tile, the walls were free of bland art works, and there were no window at all. Clients didn't come back here. They freed forty seven transgenics from the holding cells. Some of them were Max's age or a little younger. A few of them were no more than four or five years old.

Corrigan's desk diary indicated that the first clients were scheduled to come in and view the merchandise at the end of the week. The days leading up to that were blocked out for his work with Senator Winstone.

Corrigan had been hedging his bets. If he hadn't been able to persuade Winstone, he had his contingency plan in place. In fact, it seemed he was intending to use his contingency plan as leverage to achieve plan A: to sell the US Government back what it considered its own property.

#

Max and Alec took Corrigan out of the building between them, assuming the privilege of rank to have the satisfaction of handing him over to Winstone and the cops that stood with him. They waited to hear him being read his rights, and then they rejoined their friends.

Their reinforcements had finally arrived fresh from their confrontations with the familiars. They'd extracted their comrades, and were relieved to report only minor injuries, no fatalities. They'd inflicted a little damage on the familiars in return, but the stand offs had turned into desultory skirmishes, the sides to evenly matched for either to achieve a decisive victory and in each case, both sides had retreated to regroup. White himself had been nowhere to be found. Another fight for another day. They'd raced to join Max and her team, but had arrived too late to help with the fight, though they were just in time to ferry their new acquaintances back to Terminal City.

#

They'd come off amazingly well, considering the forces they'd met. By the time they got their wounded to Medical, Dalton had regained consciousness, though he was still a little groggy, and having been given a shot of morphine, Hope seemed fascinated by the shape of her leg and keen that everyone got a chance to look at it before it got manipulated back to its normal angle. Callie fussed around an outwardly embarrassed but secretly pleased Mole, putting extremely neat and careful stitches in the gash on his forehead.

Max insisted that Alec be checked out too, in spite of his assertions that he was fine. She hovered nearby, biting her lip as he perched on the edge of the exam table and gingerly pulled his t-shirt over his head, trying to hide a wince.

"Fine, huh?" She pushed.

"Just a little tender," he reassured. He was pretty sure he was fine, but Max was worried, and he knew he wouldn't be able to talk to her about how she was doing with having killed 972 until she was satisfied.

"They threw me off the balcony and Alec followed me over the rail and grabbed my hand to keep me from falling," Max explained. "He was holding my weight and his own."

"I'm ok," Alec repeated.

"You better be. We worked really hard on putting you back together," Callie warned, pressing gently on the ribs of his back underneath each of the three small round scars and on his chest under the larger exit wound and either side of the long scar over his sternum. He half-suppressed a hiss and her gaze flew to his face, checking his reaction.

"Just strained," she grudgingly agreed, moving on to check his arm and finding it similarly overtaxed, but not damaged. "Your shoulders hurt?" she asked, moving his arms in turn to check the rotation of the joints.

"It was Max I was holding onto, not Josh." Alec pointed out.

"Yeah, and your own weight too. You might still be a little on the lean side, but it's not been that long since they were repeatedly dislocated." Callie reminded him of the damage he'd taken while a prisoner of Manticore.

"I thought it was all going to be ok, nothing to worry about, you were just going to make sure everything was going to plan?" She asked when he didn't reply.

"We were outnumbered," Max replied and Callie could hear the self recrimination in her voice. "Everyone ended up fighting."

"Well your shoulders seem ok."

"Told you," Alec muttered.

"Take a look at his hand," Max urged, "That bastard 972 hit him with a gun, tried to make him let go."

"You know Max took a beating too," Alec deflected. "Everyone did. Hope broke her leg and Dalton was out cold. Mole's got one of those photogenically positioned movie wounds over his eye. You should be looking after them. You don't need to make a big deal out of me." He was embarrassed at the attention. Ok, he'd needed some help after Manticore and the shooting, but this was definitely over the top.

Callie looked up at Max, taking in the tiredness and bruising and satisfying herself that Max's posture indicated that the blows she'd taken were nothing a transgenic wouldn't take in her stride. "I'll just ignore him, ok Max?" Callie said.

"That's what I do when he insists on talking nonsense," Max replied.

"Cam and Jin are taking care of Dalton and Hope. I've already stitched up Mole's movie wound. Now I'm checking you over." Callie insisted, lifting his hand in hers carefully and examining the deep bruising.

Ok, Alec was willing to admit to himself that his hand was pretty painful, and he clenched his jaw so he'd be ready when she prodded at it.

"You can move your fingers?"

"Do I have to?" He asked.

"Humour me."

Alec flexed his hand and then made a loose fist, not quite able to keep the wince from showing on his face. Callie winced in sympathy. She was pretty sure his hand wasn't broken, but he must have been hit with some force to cause that much damage.

"Put some ice on it. Should heal pretty fast." She reassured him, dropping a handful of painkillers in his good palm.

"Thanks," he grudgingly replied, downing them without water.

"You're welcome," Callie replied, ignoring his tone. She knew how sick he was of being fussed over. "Anything else I need to know about?" she asked.

"The telecoercive-" Max began.

"It's fine," Alec interrupted, anxious not to go down that route.

"He put the whammy on a few of us." Max continued, talking over Alec. "Joshua and Ralph just looked dazed, but I think Alec-"

"It was just a flashback. It's over now." Alec insisted.

Max wanted to push it and get Callie's professional opinion, but Alec looked like he was about to bolt, so she let it go for now.

"Are we done?" He asked. He was feeling suddenly trapped and he really wanted to leave.

Callie looked at him appraisingly. He looked shaken by Max's mention of the telecoercive. Must have been a hell of a flashback, but Max was backing off and she knew him best. Physically Callie had done all she needed to. Anything else was up to him. It wouldn't help to force it.

"Sure. Go home and rest."

He nodded and slipped off the table, making for the door like the enemy was on his tail.

"Alec," He paused as Callie called after him, "Consider that an order. Any of you gets injured, from now on you're not fit for duty until I clear you. Is that understood?"

He looked at Max, wondering if she'd view this as a challenge to her authority and found only raised eyebrows aimed at him. Of course she'd take Callie's side.

"Fine. Then tell Max she's gotta wait until you clear me before she's allowed to come up with any more cockamamie plans that get her tossed off balconies."

Callie shrugged at Max, "You heard the man."

#

Max waited for Callie, Cam and Jin to consult so she could get an inventory of injuries. They'd checked over Joshua and Ralph, and they were both fine after their run in with 972. Other than that, between the teams that had faced Corrigan's transgenics and those who'd taken on the familiars, there had been one or two cracked knuckles, a couple of broken ribs, a few sutures here and there and a bunch of ice packs. The medics were moving on to checking out the new arrivals, making sure no one had any faulty wiring that could lead to fun and games in the next few days, and Joshua had taken charge of the children, making sure they were fed and feeling safe.

Max picked up a couple of ice packs for herself and Alec and they stopped in to check on Hope and Dalton. Dalton looked a little green around the gills from his concussion, and Hope had a huge cast on her leg, but both of them were going to be fine and they had plenty of company, so Max and Alec made their way home.

They slumped onto the sofa with matching groans and Max handed Alec his ice pack. He put his straight on his sternum, but Max was hard pressed to decide where she ached the most. Alec was right, she had taken a beating, and now that she knew she didn't need to worry about him quite so much, she was really feeling it.

She settled on her sternum too; she'd taken a couple of heavy blows there and though nothing was broken, if she was honest, it was more than a little uncomfortable to breathe. But that left her side, her back, her face and her knuckles all throbbing gently to the rhythm of her heart. She closed her eyes and heaved a sigh.

As she began to drift off she heard Alec shift next to her and walk across the room, but her adrenaline was draining away and she was too exhausted to open her eyes to see what he was doing.

She moaned lazily as her boots were removed. She hauled her eyes open and watched as Alec transferred frozen peas into dish towels and placed them at strategic points over the worst of her bruises. He lifted her slightly to slide her ice pack under her back and then knelt at her side holding his ice pack to her cheek.

"How d'you know where I got hit?"

Alec didn't dignify that with a response.

"What about your chest?" She raised a hand to the pack he was holding to her face.

"Shhh. You were almost sleeping," he whispered.

"Alec?"

"I'm ok. I got the good painkillers when Callie looked at my hand," he pointed out. "Here, take these," he handed her some ibuprofen held awkwardly in his injured hand. "They'll take down the swelling." She swallowed them with a little water.

"You should've let them check you out too. How's your shoulder? Must've wrenched it when I grabbed you."

"I'm fine."

"That's my line," he smiled, "And you never believe me."

She rolled her eyes, "I'm really fine."

She was awake now and didn't seem inclined to drop off again. She was a bit more comfortable now she had some ice on her bruises. This seemed like the time to mention it.

"Maxie. Are you ok about today? About 972?"

"Yeah. I'm fine."

He raised an eyebrow, "Again with my line."

She smiled briefly, then let her expression become serious. "I had to do it."

Alec shook his head, "No, it was a choice. And you have to live with it now. I know how it's weighed on you in the past."

"You think I could have lived with the alternative? It wasn't a choice. Between you and him? There was no decision and I'll live with it just fine."

"I'm just saying you've never been ok with this stuff."

"Nor have you. Nor has any one of us, not deep down. God, Alec there's so much guilt flooding this place I'm amazed we all stay afloat. But all the things I've had to do to get by, to protect myself or my family? This one I'll sleep easy with."

Alec looked unconvinced, "Really Alec. I'm ok."

"I wish you hadn't had to do that for me."

"I wish I could have killed that bastard months ago, before he tortured you," she returned, her voice suddenly hard.

"Maxie," he began, not sure what to say to her vehemence.

"I'm not a pacifist, you know. And I'm not a delicate flower. I don't want to kill if I can avoid it, but I swear to you I don't regret what I did today."

"I know you're not delicate, Max. You're the strongest person I know. Just... It's only just happened and we're still dealing with the adrenaline. I want you to know I'm here if you start to feel it, ok?"

"Ok," she nodded, placated.

"You'll talk to me if you need to?"

"Yeah, I will. On one condition."

"Just one?"

"Just one. You talk to me. I know how much crap you're carrying around and I wanna be here for you too."

Alec bit his lip. He'd walked right into that one.

"I mean it Alec, this goes both ways. You haven't talked about what happened when you were back in Manticore, but that flashback today? You didn't have your devil may care mask on and I saw how much you were hurting. And you're still having the nightmares. You don't want to talk to Callie, that's fine. But I'm your girlfriend, I love you. I'm the one who's supposed to help you with this stuff. I'll wait for you to be ready, but don't think I'm just gonna forget about it. Don't think I can't see it in you."

Max was surprised he'd held her gaze. She'd thought he'd look away, embarrassed at what she'd seen in him and by the depth of her feelings. She was even more surprised by his response.

"I wanna tell you, Max. I've been trying to work up to it. I want you to know everything about me. I'm gonna do it. Give me a little bit longer, ok? I was nearly there, but this thing today, I admit it threw me a little. I just need to get it straight in my head, then I'll tell you."

He pulled on a smile, "You're gonna wish you hadn't asked, 'cos when I say everything, I mean all the boring stuff too. You're gonna know about the time I got acne for a few weeks when I was thirteen. And the cruel and unusual blond dye job they did on me for a mission when I was sixteen. And when I got out of Manticore and ate nothing but ham salad sandwiches and coleslaw for three weeks."

Max smiled back, "See you think that's boring, but it's not. I wanna know all that stuff too. But you know, I don't know why you think you have to have all the bad stuff straight in your head before you can talk to me. Maybe I can help you get it straight. You don't have to always be strong for me. I let myself be vulnerable with you, about Ben. I wish you understood you get to do the same with me."

"That's pretty radical, Maxie," Alec hedged, a half smile nowhere near reaching his eyes.

"I know, isn't it? You know it didn't come easy to me either but I trust you not to let me fall." she smiled and took his wrist in her hand, so that he could take hers in his, just like that moment when he'd grabbed on hard and she'd known she was safe.

"Ok."

"Ok?"

"Yeah. But I warn you, it's a can of worms, or a nest of vipers, or something wriggly and nasty."

"It's your life."

"Yeah. I'm gonna need a drink," he was only half joking, he really wished they had something stronger than coffee.

#

Alec sat on the coffee table facing her, leaning slightly forward, hands by opposite elbows resting on his knees. Not quite arms crossed against his chest, but defensive body language nevertheless. He held eye contact with Max, but there was no inflection in his voice and not one single adjective in his entire narrative. It was a bare recitation of facts, a report to a CO, but Max knew that was the only way he could tell her his story and it made it that much more chilling and that much more heartbreaking. She made herself listen without reaction. She wanted to be holding him, but she had to respect the distance he needed to talk about what he'd been through during those four months at Manticore.

By the time Alec was done, Max was wishing she hadn't shot 972 or handed over Corrigan. She wanted then here so she could hurt them as badly as they'd hurt Alec. When she'd done that she'd kill them. Not with a gun, with her bare hands.

But this wasn't about what she wanted. She'd asked Alec to talk to her and he had and now she had to give him something that would make him glad he'd done it. She wished she knew what that was. She leaned forward enough to be able to lay her hands on his forearms. She kept the contact light, in case he needed to break it.

"You've been living with all that and no support," she said in a low voice.

"You've been here with me."

"You can have more than just me lying next to you when you have a nightmare."

"Just? That wasn't just, Max, that was a lot and it wasn't all you did."

"I hope so, but there's a lot more. You know you have nothing to prove. You survived that place and you haven't spent one single day wallowing in what happened there. You broke out of that telecoercion today. You are so brave and that won't change if you let me see how much you're feeling it."

"Max, most of us went through Psy-Ops at least once. It's not that big a deal." He sat up straighter so that her hands slid from his arms. He was starting to look spooked but she couldn't back down.

"Yeah, we did. But that wasn't ordinary Psy-Ops. And we don't know anyone who resisted like you did. Who gave them nothing. They went harder on you than anyone because of that. It is a big deal."

For a moment his eye contact faltered and his expression turned desolate but then he forced himself to look at her again.

"I'm sorry I'm pulling away. I know I said I'd talk to you. It's just harder than I thought." There was so much emotion in his voice suddenly that Max was close to tears.

Max took his uninjured hand in hers and slid forward on the sofa so their knees touched, "It's really hard. I know that. But don't say sorry, don't _be_ sorry. I don't want you to do this for me. I'm here with you."

He nodded shakily, "Manticore played the screams so loud and so long that after a while they were inside my head. I recognise each voice. That's what's in the nightmares and that flashback today. I'm killing them over and over again, I'm covered in their blood and I can't hear anything but their screams. And I feel what Manticore did to me, all the pain, and I know I deserve it. I'm trapped in my head with every person I ever hurt and they all wanna see me bleed. If I could bring them back and let them see it for real, I would but I can never tell them I'm sorry, and I can never make it right."

Alec blinked, and a tear escaped onto his cheek. Max reached out to catch it and wipe it away with a gentle fingertip. At her touch he closed his eyes releasing more tears and his face crumpled in anguish for a moment before he brought it back under control.

"I wish I could just say it and make you believe it wasn't your fault; that all this is Manticore blaming you for what they did, leaving you with the memories and the guilt, but I know it doesn't work like that. I know because of how I feel about Ben and about the man I killed with my unit. We carry it all with us." Max had to use all her self control to keep from crying for him. She didn't want him putting away his feelings for her.

"When I was 494 I wasn't a person. I was just a weapon, like you said. How come I can't be Alec and feel like that?"

"You remember when you told me they had ways of making you not care? Your voice, the expression on your face. You didn't believe it. You were never 494, not really. Sometimes I let them call me 452, I call myself 452 and it's like I access a different part of myself. Harder, more ruthless. Sometimes it helps me get through whatever it is, but I don't wanna be her. I wanna be Max. I wanna be your Maxie."

"It was easier to pretend when I was 494. I hate him, but in some ways it was easier."

"I know."

"That thing with Winstone, when I was back in Manticore..."

"You saved his life, his wife, his kids."

"I killed four people with my bare hands. I snapped their necks. They were just ordinaries."

"You hear them scream?"

He nodded. "Alec, Charlie told me what happened. They were murderers. They _chose_ that life. You think they cared enough to hear their victims' screams echo afterwards? They were ordinary but they were not innocent."

"They didn't stand a chance."

"The agents were down. Biggs was unconscious. You were wounded. You had to protect the family. You think anyone in your position would have made a different call?"

"I was the one there. I made the decision. I killed them. Lydecker showed me their files afterwards. They had families too."

Another thing to hate Lydecker for. How the hell could he show Alec their families? "Then they should have thought about an alternative career."

"I know, Max. I know I had to do it. I mean, they aren't even the worst ones. I just wish I didn't have to keep seeing them. I wish I couldn't hear them." He sniffed and released her hand so he could rub his face, "I'm sorry. I should be able to let it go."

"Please stop saying sorry. In fact, you know what? You're not allowed to say it anymore. That's an order. And another thing. There's no should. This is what Manticore does, right? Keeps looking for ways to own us, or to break us. They were so pissed you wouldn't break, they did this to you."

"I'm not sure they've stopped trying."

"What d'you mean?"

"It's the gift that keeps on giving. What if one day I can't take it anymore?"

"You worry about that?"

"The noise doesn't always stop when I wake up."

"Is it getting worse? You hear it now?"

"If I let myself think about it, or something reminds me, I hear them. I want to get past this. I want to be your Alec. I don't wanna be the broken, dirty leftovers of 494." He took her hand again and squeezed like this time she could keep him from falling.

"I don't know how to do it."

Max bit her lip. This wasn't just the typical guilt they all felt about their actions in the past, this was the direct result of the torture Alec had endured. And if he was talking about maybe one day not being able to take it anymore, maybe he'd already thought about finding a way out. Maybe he'd taken those bullets for her partly so he wouldn't have to live with the noise in his head anymore. Maybe in that moment part of him had wanted to die.

She had a sudden, horrifying flash of coming home one day to find him lying in a pool of his own blood. And she couldn't blame him. How long would she be able to stand hearing 'I love you', or 'It's not your fault', or even 'Pass the salt' over the agonised screams of the people she'd killed? She could offer love and acceptance and compassion, but she was way out of her depth.

"You're wishing you hadn't asked, huh?" He whispered, releasing his grip on her hand.

"No." She grabbed on tighter, "I'm wishing I'd pushed you sooner. I didn't know what you were going through, and I'm so sorry. I'm here whenever you wanna talk, but I think you need more than that."

"What, a shrink? You think I'm crazy?"

"You're not crazy. We got you fixed up physically, but we just left you with the rest of it. The _worst_ of it. I mean, the beatings, the starvation, they weren't the point. This was. This is the damage they did."

"The triggers are gone."

"Yeah, but you did that for us and we did half a job taking care of you. _I_ did half a job."

"Sometimes I feel like I'm broken and you loving me is all that's holding the pieces together, but that's not fair. I need to do this myself. It's not your job to fix me."

Her heart constricted in her chest and she couldn't decide if it was filled or broken by what he'd said. "No, but it's my job to know when you need help. This won't happen again."

Alec smiled at the force in her tone, "So what are you gonna do?"

"Well I'm not gonna wait for it to just go away by itself. Alec, you remember that day when you couldn't eat?"

"Max, this is humiliating enough. We really need to talk about that?"

"No, we don't. God, how can you think any of this is humiliating? How strong you've been to get this far? I can't even imagine...I just...Cam said some stuff that day that sounded like he thought you might have PTSD. Maybe he was right. Maybe this can be treated, just like they treated your broken bones, your cuts and burns, your dehydration. I know you didn't want to talk to Callie, but maybe they can help? They might know something, or they could look into it."

"I don't know."

"You don't have to decide now, and I'll back you up, whatever you want to do." She slid off the sofa onto her knees and put her arms around him, thankful when he returned the embrace, and almost surprised that after everything, he still remembered to be careful not to put pressure on any of her bruises.

#

That night it was Max who woke up in a cold sweat. She slid carefully out from under Alec's arm and tiptoed to the bathroom. She splashed water on her face and then sat on the edge of the bath, breathing deeply and trying to get her shaking hands back under control.

"Hey Maxie? You ok?" In her distress she hadn't heard him approach, but she wasn't surprised he'd woken.

"Hey. I'm sorry I woke you."

Alec crouched down in front of her, "What's up?"

"I'm fine."

"You're gonna use that line on me again, after I spilled my guts all over you earlier?"

"Ok, you're right. Honestly? I'm not fine. I'm freaking out. I just didn't want you to feel bad for spilling your guts."

"I gave you a nightmare? I'm s-"

"What did I tell you about saying sorry?"

"That I'm not allowed to."

"That's right. Are you disobeying an order, soldier?"

"Absolutely negative, ma'am."

"That's what I thought." Max paused to collect herself. "I told you I had nightmares when you were in that place."

"Yeah." She could see it was a struggle, but he held back the sorry.

"I kept thinking if I could just get you back here and put my arms around you everything would be ok, you'd be ok. When we found you, I saw how ridiculous that was. But then you started getting better and somehow I forgot how ridiculous it was. You're always so self possessed. You hardly ever show the cracks and I know they're there, everyone has them, but I let myself believe you're 'always all right'. I remember that night when Bullet, Cob and Fritz were killed and you were so upset, but you just pulled yourself together and the next day you acted like you were fine and you spent all your time looking out for me. I knew you weren't fine, but I didn't know how to help, so I pretended to believe you. I'm not gonna do that anymore."

"Max you have so much on your shoulders worrying about keeping everyone safe and together here. I'm not gonna be another burden you carry."

"That's not what this is. We carry each other. I'm not gonna keep on pretending you're ok until the day you step outside for a moment and blow your brains out."

"That's what you dreamed?"

Max nodded and Alec shuddered, "I'm not gonna do that to you, Max. I wouldn't."

"It hasn't crossed your mind?"

"I guess it has, once or twice," he admitted and Max gasped and instinctively put her hands on his shoulders, as though that would be enough to keep him with her. Alec put his hands on her waist, and looked her in the eye. "But just in passing, not seriously. Max, I'm in this with you. I've gotta see how all this turns out. You and me, TC. And what you said about me thinking first before stepping in front of a bullet, I took that to heart."

"Good. But if you feel it's getting too much, you'll tell me right?"

"Yeah. I promise."

He rose and took her hand, leading her back to bed and they snuggled back under the blankets, arms around each other.

Max was starting to drift off when Alec whispered her name.

"Maxie?"

"Yeah?"

"I thought about what you said. I'm gonna go to Medical in the morning. You're right, I'd be dumb not to at least ask if there's something I can do to fix this."

#

"Well, it's not PTSD," Cam declared.

"It's not? How do you know?" As much as he'd been loath to admit there was anything wrong with him he couldn't fix himself, at least post-traumatic stress had the ring of fixability to it.

"Not enough symptoms."

"Horrific nightmares aren't enough for you?"

"'Fraid not. You've had one flashback, caused by a direct attack by a telecoercive. And yeah, horrific nightmares that stick with you into the day sometimes, but you're not hypervigilant. Your appetite's fine. No mood swings, no inability to concentrate, no significant memory loss, no dissociation from emotional responses."

"I wish," he snorted. "So I am just crazy then? Perfect."

"No, you're not crazy. In fact, I'd say you're absurdly well adjusted, considering."

"What then? I just gotta get used to it?"

"God, no! You actually think you could? I think it's conditioning. Should be able to reverse it if we recondition you to dream about something nicer."

"That's it? I've just gotta learn to have nice dreams? You're teasing me, aren't you."

"Nope. We could try and get you an MRI at a hospital outside, but that's kind of risky and it might not tell us anything. We can think about it if this doesn't work. Look, we're not gonna get rid of them entirely, I mean, I don't think there's anyone here that doesn't get nightmares about Manticore from time to time, but if we can take the edge off, at least help you get rid of the ones they put there deliberately. That'd be something, right?"

"I could live without the screaming."

#

Max wanted to be reassured by Cam's diagnosis, but she was as sceptical as Alec had been about the idea of just having nicer dreams.

"How does he plan on making that happen?"

"Sounded like he was thinking along the lines of one of those hypnosis tapes people use to convince themselves they're beautiful and confident instead of ugly and useless."

"Huh. Any evidence of those working? I thought they were snake oil."

"No idea. Cam's gonna talk it over with the others and get back to me."

"Ok. Nice dreams. Nice dreams. How about me in heat standing at the bedroom door wearing a raincoat and stilettos and nothing else."

"Max, Cam's gonna call any minute. That's just cruel. And FYI? Totally not restful."

Max grinned. "It's what I dreamed about after we went back to sleep last night."

"Really? What was I wearing?"

"Nothing."

Alec's pained growl was drowned out by Max's laughter.

#

"We think Callie's your best bet." Cam explained. "It'll be sort of telecoercion, but in a nice way."

"Right. Nice telecoercion. 'Cos that's been a breeze for me so far."

"It'll just be a little light suggestion. Sort of like hypnosis but with a bit more voltage."

"You're not really selling it there, dude."

"You sure you don't wanna give it a try? She says it won't hurt."

"Sure. What've I got to lose from having my brain all swirled up again? When do we start?"

"Callie!" Cam yelled.

"What?" She replied, poking her head round the door.

"You're on."

#

Callie was convinced it wouldn't take too many sessions before he'd see a difference. The severity of the nightmares wasn't caused by natural brain function, so she hoped her intervention would serve to smooth out the disruption, and wouldn't be nearly as violent as what she'd needed to do to dig out the triggers.

"We'll take it easy this first time, see how it goes."

"Am I gonna get paid for being your trial guinea pig this time?"

"Sure. I'll deduct it from your bill when I cure you. Lie down and shut up."

"I think Mole's rubbing off on you. I swear your bedside manner used to be gentler."

"Mole's got a point. No more listening to you hypochondriacs whine on about Manticore's little legacies. From now on I'm just gonna hand you a band aid and go back to my magazines."

"The two of you are all heart."

It was a lot more like his hazy memories of doing what Mia told him than what he'd experienced before and since. Callie told him to relax, so he did. She told him to picture a safe place, so he did. She told him to think about the times he'd been most happy and he found himself smiling lazily as memories of Max kissing him filled his mind.

He opened his eyes to ask what next and couldn't quite put his finger on what was different.

"Hey sleepyhead." He rolled his head to see Max sitting cross legged at the end of the bed. "Sweet dreams?"

"What? I drop off?"

"You slept for four hours. How do you feel."

"Relaxed."

"Any nightmares?"

"No," he shook his head, stretching.

"Did you dream at all?"

"Can't remember. You think I'm cured?"

"Callie said probably not yet, but it worked like she thought. She wants to try again tomorrow."

#

Senator Winstone called that evening to give them an update, and suggest they turned on the news. There was footage all over the networks showing Max and Alec handing Corrigan over to the cops, and the reporters were all over the story of the children who had been found locked in cages. The news reports had confused details of what was happening with Corrigan and his ordinaries, but Winstone explained that this was because the Federal Prosecutor was still adding to a list of charges as long as her arm, charges that included murder, kidnapping, torture and crimes against humanity.

Corrigan had appeared in court that morning for the arraignment looking defiant until he'd heard the list read out, count after count, and he'd looked grey faced as he'd been led out to the truck that would take him to the federal prison where he'd be held until trial.

The news was now showing footage of an angry mob with placards throwing eggs at the prison truck. Robert Corrigan had replaced the transgenics as the new popular face of inhumanity.

"I'm sorry I didn't call earlier," Winstone said. "But I've been fielding calls all day and I flew to DC late this morning. They've called a special joint session on the hill. There's going to be a vote on officially calling off the siege. Max, I don't want to get your hopes up too high, but I'm just going into a meeting. I've got five minutes with the president and I'm lobbying for him to add a vote on the issue of transgenic citizenship."

#

**Continues soon...**

**Ok, so only one more chapter left! If you're reading this, thanks for sticking with me. I swear, I won't leave it so long to post the conclusion.**


	11. tcdotcom

**Well, here we are, on the home straight. It's been a ride, I can tell you. This is the longest story I've ever written and if nothing else, I've proved to myself that I can at least write something of novel length, although I suppose its merit is for you readers to judge. It gives me hope that one of these days I'll be able to finish an original novel, and after that, who knows? Publishing contract, fame and fortune, a job where I can sit in my flat with my laptop wearing my pyjamas and drinking tea all day (much as I'm doing right now)...**

**Thanks to everyone who has read, reviewed, alerted and all the rest. I'm so grateful to all of you.**

**The story so far: **

**972 is dead. Corrigan is under arrest and Senator Winstone has promised to do his best to help the transgenics achieve freedom. Max and Alec are waiting for news, but neither of them is renowned for patience...**

**#**

**Chapter Eleven: tc dot com**

"Max?"

"Logan. Hi." She was surprised to hear his voice through the phone, though she supposed she shouldn't have been.

He cleared this throat awkwardly. "How are you?"

"Ok. You?" It was strange to be talking to him again. It felt like it had been a lot longer than it had. So much was going on, she realised she'd barely given a thought to him.

"I've been watching the news. I just wanted to say good job."

"Oh. Thanks."

"So Corrigan's behind bars. You must be feeling pretty good."

"Yeah. We're relieved. One enemy down, you know."

"Yeah. I'm glad. I...I guess I'll sleep a little easier knowing he's out of the picture. So, I just wanted to say thanks."

"Yeah. He won't be coming for you again. Or 972."

"I saw. Killed in action, they said."

Max frowned. That was a strangely dignified and official way of putting it. Put down like the vicious psychopath that he was, more like. "Yeah," was all she said.

"Who killed him?" Logan asked, failing to sound casual, so that when Max answered she raised her chin defiantly, even though he couldn't see it.

"I did." She guessed old habits died hard. She'd always been so aware of her difference around him, worried he'd see her as less than human if he saw what she was truly capable of. And she found that even now part of her still cared what he thought of her. She wondered if that would ever change.

"Oh. You ok?"

He didn't sound judging. She let out a sigh.

"Yeah, I'm fine."

"You wanna talk about it?"

"Not really, and if I wanted to I've got-"

"Yeah, you've got Alec now."

Max nodded, but didn't say anything, even though she knew he couldn't see her response.

"I had to do it," she replied. "It's not like I'm jumping up and down about that, but I know it was the right thing to do."

"I know you wouldn't have done it unless you had to."

"Yeah." She decided to take him at his word. She was done obsessing about every little exchange with Logan.

"So everyone's ok?"

"Mostly just cuts and bruises; nothing serious."

"I saw Alec there with you. Good to see him back on his feet."

"Yeah. I tried to make him stay behind, but that was always gonna be a tall order."

"He wanted to back you up."

"Wanted to give me a heart attack, more like."

Logan laughed, and suddenly they were a little more relaxed.

"So what's next?"

"We're just waiting to hear really. Sort of out of our hands."

"Well, it looks like a pretty impressive reversal of fortune. You're being hailed as heroes for rescuing the senator. Did you see his interview?"

"Weird, huh? No one was interested about how many lives my guys saved when they were with Manticore. Now we save one guy and they're all over it. Journalists are weird."

Logan snorted, "Yeah, no telling what we're gonna care about."

Max became serious. "We didn't call the press, Logan. I don't know how they got wind of it. We were hoping to stay under the radar in case it all went to crap."

"I wasn't calling about that," he reassured.

"Good. I just...you know, whatever went on between us and wherever we are now, you're still the journalist I'd call."

"Thanks Max, that means a lot."

"So, you gonna cover it?"

"Nah, I think the networks have it covered. Unless you've got an exclusive for me?"

"No, I'm just worried they'll cover it to death and everyone'll be so sick of us they'll go back to wanting to lynch us."

"Ha. So are the little kids ok? The ones you found locked up?"

"Yeah. We're putting them with the families. It'll take some time for them to settle in I guess, but transgenics are pretty adaptable."

The moment she hung up, there was a knock on the door.

"Damn girl! You sure know how to make a splash," Cindy exclaimed.

"Hey Cindy."

"Been seein' you and your boy on the news, flavour of the month."

"They're covering it wall to wall. I was so preoccupied I didn't even see any cameras there."

"I figured that."

"How come?"

"You knew you were getting yo' picture taken, you'd have combed your hair."

"What? Cindy, I'd been kickin' ass!" she justified.

"Umm hmm," Cindy replied suppressing a grin.

"I had a split lip and a bloody nose. You think I was worried about my hair."

"Honey, I know you weren't worried about your hair... I'm kidding. Apart from the bruises and the blood and the torn shirt and all of that, you looked totally hot."

"I looked a mess." Max shook her head in annoyance. Cindy was right, if she'd have known, she'd have tried to do something about her appearance. Now she was worrying that she'd looked like a thug on TV, and that's what people would remember.

"Lucky that ain't what anyone cares about right now. You looked like a hero, boo. An' I was just stoppin' by to say good for you."

"Yeah? You think it's going down ok on TV?"

"Yeah. I think you're well on your way."

"To what?"

"Not having to hide anymore. To not having to keep such a close eye on everyone all the time. To hookin' up with your girl Cindy every once in a while. I miss you girl. We don't see enough of each other."

"I miss you too. This isn't the only thing though. Corrigan's out of the picture, but I've still got White out there somewhere. Who knows what he's up to."

"You'll figure it out. One thing at a time. And this is gonna make things a lot harder for him, right?"

"Yeah I hope so. How's Hope doing?"

"She's ok. Wishing she'd got a photo of her leg all weird shaped to show me. Girl's got some funny ideas."

"She's still on the morphine, huh?"

"Yeah. Your medics sure know how to get their hands on the good stuff. She's still flyin'. And Alec's ok? Wouldn't have thought you'd be letting him anywhere near folks with guns for a while."

"Yeah, well, you know Alec. Trouble finds him. Might as well have him close by so's I can make sure he's ok."

"He handled the fight ok?"

"Ok might be overstating it. He walked out of there instead of being carried out. I'm gonna look at that as a win."

"Sounds like one to me. And you know Hope told me all about what happened, so I'm happy he was there to keep your pretty face from getting all smashed up on the ground."

"Yeah. Except he's using that to justify not hanging back like he was supposed to. And I can't argue, 'cos if he hadn't I'd be too dead to argue. I don't have a leg to stand on, and I don't like bein' put in that position. Damn 327. If he hadn't come over all apologetic, I'd be throwin' _him_ off a damn balcony."

"That's the spirit. Blame the poor hypnotised fool."

"Damn straight. That and love. If it wasn't for stupid old love, I could trade Alec in for someone boring and sensible."

"You don't want boring and sensible. You want hot and heroic, just like all of us." Cindy checked her watch.

"You wanna get back to your hot, heroic girl, huh?"

"I've got a minute. But yeah, gotta keep her out of trouble. I know what you mean, boo. Not easy having a hero for a honey. Usually I'm worried my shorties gonna take off with all my savings. Now I got one I gotta worry about getting herself killed fighting evil."

"It's a job of work."

"That it is. So, your senator been in touch? He gonna come through for you?"

"Waiting to hear."

"You think he's on the up an' up?"

"Yeah, I think so. Says he's got a meeting with the president."

"What? _The_ president? The actual president president? The president of all of us?"

"That's the one. Well, I guess it is. He didn't specify. Jeez, for all I know, his pet hamster could be called President."

"Well, fingers crossed his hamster's got some game. I'm headed back." She gave Max a quick hug. "Love you, girl."

"Love you too."

#

"Hi, Max? It's Charlie Winstone." She'd spent an anxious morning waiting for news and it was almost lunchtime before he called.

"Oh, hey Charlie, what's the what?" It felt a little strange being on first name terms with a senator, but he seemed to prefer the informality. She did her best to sound casual, like their whole future wasn't riding on what came out of his mouth next.

"Pretty good. Everyone ok there? The kids who got injured, Hope and Dalton?"

"Yeah, we heal pretty fast. They'll be back on their feet soon." It was touching that he remembered their names so Max didn't mention the anxious pacing she'd occupied herself with after Cindy had left and Alec had dropped off on the sofa, claiming he was tired out from watching her agitated movements. She didn't want to harry the senator, but if he'd been in the room, she probably couldn't have kept herself from shaking the news out of him.

"Well, down to business, I guess. I've got some news."

Max pressed the speaker phone button as she nudged Alec awake with the toe of her boot to his shin.

"Yeah, news?"

Alec grinned at her suddenly squeaky voice, but he was wide awake and practically standing to attention within a split second of her making contact.

"Ok, you're going to need to have a little patience, because things happen slowly when they get put in the hands of the bureaucrats, but I'm going to do my best to keep things moving."

"Uh huh," she replied, trying to keep the tension out of her voice. Alec took her hand and squeezed and she breathed out slowly, grounding herself with his touch.

"A statement's being released by the joint session to the effect that, while the Federal Government accepts that the jurisdiction for local security issues and therefore the final decision belongs to the military protectorate of Seattle, we recommend that the siege be lifted with all due haste. Basically we can't order it officially, but it would be very unusual for a recommendation not to be accepted. I can't guarantee how long it will take, but I'm hopeful that the weight of public opinion will be enough to make the Seattle authorities take notice."

"Ok, so we wait to see how Seattle reacts." It wasn't the unequivocal answer she'd been hoping for, but she guessed that was a bit much to expect anyway and there was hope. "Well, thanks for your help, Charlie, we really appreciate you standing up for us." She tried to keep any disappointment out of her voice. It wasn't his fault that the daydreams of freedom she'd been allowing herself to indulge weren't in her grasp yet. He'd done his best.

"I'll keep up the pressure and I think that the citizenship issue will force their hands anyway." He replied.

"Citizenship?"

"The Supreme Court Chief Justice sent a statement into the session to the effect that there is no constitutional justification for denying citizenship to transgenics. Their position is that when you take into consideration the fact that any human being is 50% genetically identical to a banana and 90% identical to a cat, it's ludicrous to suggest that the negligible DNA tinkering of Manticore constitutes transgenics as an entirely separate species, therefore it would be like denying constitutional rights to any group solely due to their ethnic background. The government is required to issue every person born in this country with a birth certificate and social security number and to treat all citizens equally under the law."

"They're going to recognise us?" Max's voice had gone squeaky again.

"Again, it's a recommendation. There was no case put before the Supreme Court, so it's not a binding judgement, but the court's opinion holds a lot of sway. The justices are the top constitutional lawyers in the country, so it would be difficult to go against the recommendation, and if they did, you'd have a pretty airtight case to bring. The session was adjourned, but it looks good that there'll be a vote scheduled in the next week or so and that it'll go in your favour."

"So what do we do now?" Alec asked.

"I wish I could tell you to throw open the doors now but it's a bit more complicated than that. There'll be some back room dealing over fine print and there's always a whole raft of amendments tied to any bill, but I'm pretty confident."

"You realise that telling Max to be patient is like trying to hold back the ocean with a teaspoon?" Alec remarked.

"Well you guys didn't get where you are by lying down and taking it." Winstone responded.

Max huffed a laugh. "Any suggestions about what we can usefully do until all this kicks in?"

"Keep doing what you're doing. You're national heroes, and not only that, you're decent people. Pretty soon everyone's going to have to acknowledge that."

The senator's tone was forceful and heartfelt and Max saw how he got people to vote for him. She and Alec both cleared their throats awkwardly at the praise.

"Thanks Charlie," Alec managed, but Max was afraid her voice would betray her and allowed his comment to stand for her too.

"It's me that owes you the thanks."

"Well I think you've paid us back," Max replied, trying hard to keep her voice level.

"Look Max, not to be crass, but this is working for me too. It's politically sensitive yes, and it could have blown up in my face, but the fact is, being associated with a popular civil rights campaign doesn't exactly hurt my career at this point. My campaign guy's talking about boldness and integrity scoring high with all sorts of groups. He's trying to persuade me to throw my hat in for President next time around."

"Well, you'd have my vote. Once I get the right to vote, obviously." Max said, her tone light but serious.

"Well that right there's my incentive. You might be the vote that swings it for me," he replied and they could hear the smile in his voice.

The call ended shortly after that with an exhortation from the senator to hang in there, and they sat side by side on sofa.

"So."

"Yeah."

"Kinda thought we'd have something a bit more definitive," Alec said after a while.

"Hmm. Not that I'm not grateful," Max replied, agreeing.

"Right. Yeah, he's really gone out of his way for us. Still."

"Yeah, still. It all moves kind of slow. So, what do you think? Do we tell the others? Even though there's nothing really to tell yet? And there's still a chance we might be getting our hopes up for nothing. Not like it's a done deal."

"Not really for us to decide what's best for them to know though, right?"

"Yeah. They're grown ups. Well, some of them are. We should tell them. It's kind of progress, I guess."

"So, what? Call a pow wow then?"

#

The meeting didn't last long. Max explained the current situation, how there might be progress, but she wasn't sure what it would look like exactly, or when things might start to change. There wasn't really that much to say that hadn't already been passed around by those who read the political news blogs.

"So just keep doing what we're doing." Mole summed up gruffly.

"Pretty much," Max nodded. "Look, I know it doesn't sound like anything concrete, but I think Senator Winstone's on the level. I think he'll do what he says and keep pushing it."

"And with a wing and a prayer, things might work out," Luke summed up.

"Yeah," she replied, feeling kind of lame. It sounded even less certain when she repeated it all aloud to a room full of expectant faces.

"Hmm."

"Right."

"Ok then."

The non-committal reactions around the room reflected Alec and Max's right after she'd hung up the phone and for a moment she considered repeating what the senator had said about thinking they were decent people, but on reflection she wasn't sure she could get the words out without blushing and stammering, and what had meant a lot to her and to Alec might sound even lamer than the rest of it to her audience. The others didn't really know Charlie and they were only going to be interested in results.

Everyone began filing out and Max sighed and put her head down, feeling deflated. Consoling hands squeezed her upper arms gently and she looked up to see Alec and Joshua each reaching out a hand to comfort her.

"They're disappointed. I'm giving them nothing." She sighed.

"Not nothing, Little Fella," Joshua reassured. "They know Max tries everything. They can be patient, wait it out with us."

"I wanted to be able to tell them we were free," she said, surprised when her voice broke and she realised she was really close to crying. She tried to turn away to get some control, but neither of them would let her hide her feelings from them.

"Maxie," Alec whispered moving his hand from her arm to cup her cheek and use his thumb to catch a tear that spilled from her eye.

"I'm sorry," she whispered back, ashamed to be so emotional, falling apart over what could be construed as a small piece of good news that was the likely precursor to a big piece of good news.

"I thought we had a rule about saying sorry," Alec smiled.

"We had a rule about _you_ saying sorry," Max returned his smile with a watery one of her own.

"Well, consider it reciprocal."

"Ok," she nodded, sniffing and blinking her tears back.

"They know how close," Joshua said, reiterating his reassurance. "Transgenics thinking it through. Getting used to next steps." He patted her arm almost gently, only slightly throwing her off balance, enough to make them all grin and give Alec the in to pull her into a hug.

Joshua met Alec's eyes and smiled as Max closed her eyes and buried her face into Alec's chest, sighing at the comfort and safety she found there. He patted Alec's arm, gently enough not to throw either of them off balance this time and gave a quick wave, "Joshua has things to take care of."

"Alec?"

"Hmm?"

"Can we just stay like this forever?"

Alec huffed quietly and moved one hand to her head, stroking her hair. "Can't think of any place I'd rather be."

#

So they waited.

Alec had another session with Callie and slept a full eight hours without hearing the screaming, without even his typical pre-torture nightmares . Max watched him sleep and the peace in his expression allowed her to relax more than she could remember in forever, it was better than a massage for untying knots. He woke refreshed and feeling stronger than he could remember for months.

Jin, who seemed to have become the TC news hub when it came to romance, told them that Cam and Gem had hooked up and Soda and Nila had decided to take things to the next level and move in together.

Disappointingly, White seemed to have gone to ground again. Following their successful mission to take down the remnants of Manticore, and in lieu of more news from Winstone, Max was spoiling for a fight and a win, another tangible result she could give to the others in return for their faith in her leadership.

So, like Charlie had suggested, they ticked along, waiting to see what would happen next. Max was on edge, expecting news every minute and disappointed when things continued to move as slowly as Charlie had warned.

Alec was preoccupied too, but not about politics.

#

"Everything's been so intense up until now, you know?" Alec explained handing Joshua a cup of coffee and dropping down onto the sofa.

"Yeah. Intense. No time to catch breath." Joshua had dropped by to hang out with Alec before his art class and had found him in a pensive mood.

"Right."

"Get back to normal now?"

"Trouble is, I'm not sure what normal is now."

"You mean normal with Max?"

"Yeah. We've dealt with all this huge stuff, you know, life and death, trying to face the past, but we've never even been on a date."

"So, need to go on date!" Joshua exclaimed.

"Yeah. How're we gonna do that? I don't have any money. Even if I did, it's not like I can take Max out to a flashy restaurant in the city while things are so up in the air. So what, I whip up some canned goods in our apartment? Max deserves better than that."

"Problem," Joshua nodded sagely.

"Yeah, problem."

Joshua grinned suddenly and smacked Alec on the shoulder, hard.

"Alec relax. Joshua has plan."

"Really? Not feeling relaxed here, man," Alec replied, attempting to rub life back into his dead shoulder.

"Joshua has under control. Alec ask Max out tonight. Tell her put on best outfit."

"You're serious."

"Serious, yes! Joshua knows romance. Won't let Alec down. Brothers! Tell Max: be ready, seven o'clock."

"Ok... Thanks man." He agreed faintly. Alec knew Joshua had their best interests at heart, but he couldn't deny his sinking dread at the thought of what the evening might bring. He'd been to Joshua's dinner parties before, and frankly he'd consider them lucky if they escaped with nothing worse than mini hotdogs. He swallowed nervously, thankful that Max already loved him, because he sure couldn't count on making a good impression tonight.

#

Max was nervous. She was excited. It was definitely one of the two, but she wasn't sure which. Her palms were sweaty, her hands were trembling, her stomach was fluttering and her heart was pounding at about the speed she generally reached when she was getting ready to take down someone pointing a gun at her. She was going on a date with Alec. She needed to look her best by seven and it was already well past noon. She needed reinforcements.

"What the hell am I gonna wear?" Cindy found Max kneeling in the middle of her bed surrounded by the entire contents of her wardrobe, which admittedly wasn't that extensive, given she'd entered TC with nothing but the clothes she'd been wearing, and looking good hadn't really been a priority the past few months.

"Honey, we got hours to figure this out."

"Cindy, I've worn nothing but fatigues for months. I am so out of practice," she explained, holding up a sparkly red halter neck she'd borrowed from Fran for inspection. "I don't even know what's in style anymore."

"Well, that ain't, girl!" Cindy turned her nose up and pulled the top out of Max's hand between thumb and forefinger, casting it in the direction of the wastepaper basket. "You were right to call in the cavalry."

"See! I have no idea what I'm doing! And it's already," she gestured at the clock, "Two fifteen? Oh man!"

"Max, get a hold of yourself girl!"

"Get a hold of yourself, she says! Look at this stuff! I'm doomed!"

"Listen, boo, you need to relax and take a step back. Who d'you think you're trying to impress? Some shallow pretty boy only thinking about getting in yo' pants? That ain't even someone you'd wanna impress. This is your boy Alec, who fell in love with you wearing them fatigues. Who's seen you bruised and bloody, covered in dirt and hair all over everywhere. You think he really cares what you're gonna be wearing? He just wants you to feel special."

Max took a shuddering breath and tried to follow Cindy's instructions.

"I wanna look good for him. And you know he's gonna look awesome."

"The boy does have the beauty, I'll give him that. If I swung that way you might have some competition. It's the cheekbones I think. Or maybe those big green eyes and the long lashes. And, man his ass is fine. Where is Alec, anyway?"

"Cindy! Not helping!"

"Right. I'm here. Look, here's what we're gonna do. You're gonna go take a long, relaxing bath. Listen to some music, deal with all your feminine what have yous. And me," Cindy gestured to the mess all over the bed, "I'm gonna talk to your girl Fixit about salvaging somethin' from this horror movie you call a wardrobe."

"Right. Bath. Good idea. Wait, Fixit?"

"Yeah, you seen these kickin' t-shirts she makes?" Cindy lifted her sweater to show the Terminal City flag emblazoned on her t-shirt. "Dalton supplied me a few and I been sellin' 'em in Jam Pony. Even Normal bought one!"

"You're kidding me?"

"Ain't even. Gave 'im a deep discount on account of he helped Gem with the baby an' all and cos a tight-fisted man don't change overnight, but Girl Scout's Honour, I have seen him wear it."

"Huh," Was all Max could think to say. Ordinaries were wearing their flag? _Normal_ was wearing their flag?

"But it ain't just t-shirts you know. Her stitching is so tiny and beautiful. Hope was wearing one of her dresses the other night, and let me tell you, she sure didn't keep it on long."

"I didn't know she made dresses. I've got one of the t-shirts and, look, she did this for me," Max pulled the patched hoodie out from the pile of clothes.

"See? She's who we need. Now go get in the bath. Shoo!"

#

Fixit brought Ralph, Fran, Callie and Gem with her and then Hope showed up looking for Cindy, so by three thirty, Max had something between an army unit and a teenage slumber party working to fix her date night wardrobe problem.

"Hey, is that my shirt in the garbage?" Fran demanded.

"Trust me, Fran, you do not want that shirt back," Callie deadpanned.

"Damn straight," Cindy chuckled, high-fiving Callie.

Cindy took on a managerial role, setting Fran to work on nails, Ralph on hair, Gem on makeup and Callie and Hope cutting up pieces of Max's clothes for Fixit to transform into what she promised would be an ensemble fit for Cinderella's ball.

Max sat in the middle of the chaos too stunned to feel nervous for a moment. She was surrounded by friends, helping her get ready for a date with the totally hot guy she was head over heels in love with. This was what being a normal girl felt like. It was what she'd always wanted and she'd managed to achieve it right here in TC, a place they'd taken because no one else wanted it, and defended from enemies on all sides. Right now the siege felt a long way away.

They primped and pampered and teased and giggled about nothing, until finally, at ten before seven, she was ready. Cindy positioned a full length mirror so Max could see the full effect.

#

Alec had asked Max on their date and then made himself scarce to give her some space so he could pick her up at seven and make it special. Or so he'd told her.

He'd asked while his courage was up, or before the madness lifted, before he could think better of it, and then cleared out so he could find out what Joshua had planned in case he needed time to organise Plan B or at least some damage control.

And to figure out what the hell he was going to wear for his first date with the totally hot woman of his dreams. Max had seemed kind of distracted, so he had hopes that she hadn't noticed that he'd stuffed all of his clothes and toiletries into his backpack on the way out.

"Alec! Joshua's casa, Alec's casa!" Joshua was letting him hang out there for the afternoon. "Joshua going out."

"Wait. Where're you going so soon?"

"Lots to do. Plans!"

"Right. Plans. What'cha got planned, Big Fella?"

"Surprise. More fun that way."

"Right. Fun. It's gonna be fun." He took a shaky breath.

"Faith!" Joshua grinned and then bounded past him, slamming the door as he went.

"Faith. Yeah." Alec sighed to the empty room.

#

Unable to face the uninspiring contents of his backpack just yet, Alec started by searching the apartment for clues, but for a guy who was incapable of doing anything quietly, Joshua sure had stealth mode when it came to plans.

He'd have to look further afield. He figured Joshua's art studio was a reasonable place to start, but while it was full of paintings and sculptures by Joshua and his students, it was empty of people. He was about to leave when a drawing pinned to the wall caught his eye. It was a simple sketch of Max in pencil, but it was so true to life it took his breath away. Her eyes shone with passion and she was smiling slightly, not happy, but hopeful. It was really beautiful. It was signed in the corner by Joshua, and Alec made a mental note to ask Joshua if he'd be willing to part with it. They had an empty wall in their apartment it was just perfect for.

Out of curiosity he took a moment to look around the rest of the art works. Some of them were obviously by the little kids, and some were pretty amateurish. Alec knew he didn't know much about art, and he'd never got to grips with Joshua's abstract stuff, other than that one of him that was all black in the centre and had freaked him out in its accuracy, but even he could tell there was some real talent in that room.

He checked his watch. He needed to be making tracks. Where next? He checked out Command, but Joshua wasn't there, hadn't been there all day according to Zero, who Alec was sure was keeping him talking deliberately. He extricated himself and headed for the mess hall.

God, he really hoped Joshua wasn't planning on sending them there. It was run down with peeling walls, rough wooden trestle tables and mismatched plastic chairs. And it smelled of mass catering, corned beef and over cooked cabbage. Anywhere but there.

As he got within sight of the mess building, Dix appeared out of nowhere.

"Hey man, what's up?"

"Looking for Josh. You seen him?"

"Nope. Not today." If he didn't know better, Alec would have suspected Dix was barring his way.

"Thought he might be in the mess."

"Just came from there. He's not there." Dix was definitely fibbing.

"Right. What're you doing?"

"Going to command. Taking over from Zero. Hear you and Max've got a hot date tonight."

"Thought you said you hadn't seen Joshua."

Dix was either telling the truth or covering his slip like a pro, "Didn't hear it from Josh. Everyone knows."

"Well, that's just fantastic." He threw himself on Dix's mercy. "Listen man, you don't know what Josh has planned, do you? He wanted me to leave it all to him, and I love the guy, but he's not exactly Mr Suave, you know? I really need this to go well."

Dix looked torn for a moment, and Alec perked up with hope until he shook his head, "Sorry man, haven't got a clue."

Dix hurried off, with the distinct manner of a man who did not want to be followed. Alec almost went after him, but clearly Joshua had people on side already, and short of beating it out of Dix and Zero and whoever else, he wasn't going to get any useful intel from his so-called friends.

Mole caught him sneaking around the back of the mess hall, which was utterly humiliating. He was so off his game it wasn't even funny. This whole date thing had him in knots.

"Listen man, trust to fate." Mole drawled, totally unmoved by his agitation.

"What are you, a friggin' Zen master now?" Alec snapped, as far from chilled out as he'd ever been in his life.

"What the hell's up your ass?" Mole snapped back, closer to his usual abrasive tone.

"Max? First date? Ringing a bell? Everyone knows, Josh has it all planned, but I don't know what the hell's supposed to happen and I'm about to make a total fool of myself in front of the love of my life! That's what's UP MY ASS!"

Mole blinked, unruffled by Alec's outburst. "You're sounding a little hysterical, man. You need me to slap you in the face?"

Alec growled in frustration and Mole patted his cheek in an infuriatingly patronising gesture that sent his blood pressure soaring to stroke-risk heights.

Alec took a breath, attempting a different tack. Wheedling. "Dude, have a heart? At least tell me it's not gonna suck!"

Mole shook his head in amazement. "You know what? I have never seen you this stressed out. Calm down before you pop an aneurism. Josh has it all under control. He's not gonna let you make a fool of yourself."

"You're sure?" His blood pressure dropped a fraction.

"Of course. I'm not gonna let you make a fool of yourself either. Josh just wants you to have fun, no stress. He thinks you and Max deserve it. Who the hell knows why."

Alec sighed, "I'm being really ungrateful, aren't I?"

Mole raised an eyebrow; he really didn't need to answer.

"I've never done this before," Alec confessed.

"Done what before?"

"This dating thing."

"I thought you were s'posed to be Mr Lothario back in the day?"

"Manticore trained me how to sweet talk a woman into bed for the purposes of gaining intelligence. I'm really good at that. I have no training on how to take the woman I love out on a date." Oh, this was gonna be a disaster.

"Dude, at the risk of sounding like a Zen master again, chill out, relax, be yourself."

"Oh, that simple, huh?"

"Worked for me."

"Really? With Callie?"

"Turns out women don't really like it when you try too hard with the flattery and the charm. Too cheesy. After you tell 'em you like their dress, they just want a conversation."

"Conversation. About what?"

"Jeez, I don't know! Start with the food and go from there."

Alec had another vision of over-boiled hotdogs on a bed of flaccid macaroni that was almost physically painful. And the idea of taking romantic advice from Mole was so surreal, he wondered if he was in the middle of a psychotic break. He took a deep breath and reminded himself to be grateful for his friends and to trust in fate. Faith! Like Joshua said.

"So there's gonna be food?"

"There's gonna be food." Mole confirmed. He paused and sniffed, "I'll kick your ass if you tell Josh I told you that much."

#

Alec slouched his way back to Joshua's apartment. It was possible he was overreacting. There was an outside chance he was focusing on everything that could go wrong with the arrangements so he wouldn't think about messing it up by himself.

Maybe Mole was right, he was over thinking it all. He used to be comfortable hanging out with Max. They used to have fun together. Before the whole Manticore torture debacle they used to sit in their office pretending to work while shooting the breeze about nothing and throwing peanuts at each other. In fact, that was one of the memories that got him through it all.

It seemed a long time ago now.

And, yeah, they were so much closer now than they had been then, so close that sometimes he didn't know how to walk out of any room she was in, but the circumstances had made it so intense, and he knew that it wouldn't always be like that. When things were less pressurised, he wanted them to be able to retain their intimacy because it was based on more than just surviving horrors together.

Conversation. That's what he needed. Yeah, no problem. It wasn't like he'd spent the past several months being tortured, being shot, being unconscious or flat on his back recovering from all of the above. He wasn't sure he even knew who was president anymore.

Start with the food and go from there. What could possibly go wrong?

Next problem: what to wear.

#

Alec switched off the shower and tucked a towel around his waist. He shaved extra carefully. Like Max said, there was going to be plenty of kissing in their future...If he didn't mess tonight up. His hair was still pretty short, so styling options were narrow.

He emptied his bag and sighed. Not a lot of choice. Maybe that was a good thing. At least he couldn't spend hours agonising since all he really had were fatigues, jeans and one pair of dark pants for stealth missions. Max was going to be dressing up so he couldn't wear jeans. Dark pants it was then.

And he needed a shirt. He'd lost one t-shirt and a leather jacket to a cop's bullet at the Jam Pony siege. He'd lost a second to the first away mission when he was testing his body temperature theory and didn't quite avoid a bullet graze to the side. He'd lost another to Manticore. Apparently he'd been found there naked, which he really didn't like to think about. One to Logan's bullets, and a hoodie to Max. She was right, it did look better on her but he was left with a pretty sparse selection.

He had the TC flag t-shirt Max had given him in recompense for the sweater. It was really cool, not least because it was a gift from Max, but it wasn't really date wear. He had a couple of khaki t-shirts and a couple of black ones, again for stealth missions. All seasoned veterans of the Seattle sewer system and definitely not fit for fine dining. One olive green short sleeved shirt. Really? That was all he had? He wasn't really vain about clothes, but that was ridiculous.

Well, he had what he had and at twenty to six he didn't really have time to come up with anything else. He'd regained some weight at least, so he was hopeful they'd almost fit.

He ironed his clothes to within an inch of their lives and then spent twenty minutes buffing his boots to a high military shine. Max was going to look awesome, and if all he had were questionable pants and a non-descript green shirt, the least he could do was show up polished and unwrinkled.

He was pacing the room by twenty before seven and it was only at a quarter to that he realised he had no idea if he was supposed to wait here or go and meet Max at their apartment. Just as he was about to work himself into a state of panic again, Dix sauntered in.

"Oh great, you're ready. I'm your chauffeur tonight."

"Chauffeur? Where are we going?"

"Not far, but it adds a sense of occasion, I think." Dix held a box out to him.

"What's this?"

"It won't bite. Open it."

Alec gingerly eased the lid off. Inside was a single perfect crimson tulip.

"It's for you to give to Max."

"Wow, Dix. Where the hell d'you get this?"

"Grow 'em."

"What about the toxins? I mean, I know you guys cleaned things up, but enough for this?"

"Well, yeah, the soil's still kind of sucky here. Hydroponics, man. It's the future. I'm growing vegetables too."

"Josh asked you for this?"

"Yeah. I grow some stuff for him to use in his studio. Still life, you know. I planted the tulips back near the beginning, but they take a while to grow. Lucky they're ready."

"Yeah. Like fate, huh?"

Alec felt like crap for worrying that Joshua didn't know what he was doing. He'd been so preoccupied that it hadn't even occurred to him to track down flowers for Max. He vowed to do his best to just go with the flow for the rest of the night.

"You ready, man?"

"Dix, thanks for this. I really appreciate it."

"It's nothing, man."

It wasn't nothing, but Dix looked embarrassed, so Alec let it go for now. He had a feeling he was going to owe a lot of favours by the end of the night.

#

It had been so long since she'd had any reason not to dress like a soldier that Max barely recognised herself in the mirror. Her girls had outdone themselves. Her hair was shiny, curled and piled on top of her head, with artfully wispy tendrils escaping to casually frame her face. Her makeup was natural and subtle, but made her eyes look huge and her lips look sultry. Her nails were shaped and painted clear and shiny.

And her dress. She'd been watching, but she still had no idea how Fixit had done it with the fabrics and the time available, but she'd worked a miracle. A row of tiny beads was stitched around the top of the sleeveless black bodice and the skirt tapered a little and then flipped out in a fluted edge at the knee, with another row of beads at the hem.

Fixit knelt beside her, fussing at the hem a little and then rose, arranging a matching black pashmina style shawl over her arms at the elbow.

Cindy produced a pair of strappy black sandals from her bag, which Max slipped on feeling exactly like Cinderella.

Max didn't have much jewellery, so Fran took off the tiny silver pendant she was wearing and fastened the chain around Max's neck. "Zero made it for me. It was my birthday last week."

"He _made_ it? Fran, I can't borrow this."

"Yeah you can. Call it a mark of gratitude for saving me from the red sequinned halter top of social death."

"Hey, I was gonna wear it! That's down to Cindy."

"Well then, I owe you reparations for almost sending you out to meet Alec in that thing."

Max fingered the delicate chain, "Thanks. All of you. I can't tell you how much I appreciate this."

Cindy put her arm around Max and regarded her in the mirror, "Not bad even if I do say so myself."

"Hey! Team effort!" Gem protested, patting Fixit's shoulder.

"Yep, Team OC! Great job ladies." Cindy turned and pinched Max's cheek, "Our little girl's all grown up."

"Max, you look really stunning," Gem told her, eliciting enthusiastic agreement from the others.

The knock at the door at seven precisely raised a collective gasp, followed by a collective giggle of excitement. It was like Manticore military training had never happened. Max wasn't sure why there was so much riding on tonight, or how she'd managed to get everyone whipped up into the same frenzy of nerves she was in, but it was undeniable. They all seemed to be just as invested as she was.

Max started for the door, but was held back by Cindy, who seemed convinced there couldn't be enough pomp and ceremony this evening. She manhandled Max out of the chaos of the bedroom to stand a few feet back from the front door and once she was satisfied, nodded to Hope to open it.

#

Alec cleared his throat nervously as Ralph appeared in the doorway and he suddenly wasn't convinced he'd knocked on the right door.

"Hey, Alec, come on in," she gestured, smiling.

"Uh, thanks." He glanced down to check he wasn't accidentally crushing the flower in his hand and then stepped forward into the room and finally caught sight of Max.

"Wow." He'd known she was planning on making an effort, but holy crap. Again, he felt the inadequacy of his own efforts to scrub up for the evening. "Max, you are so beautiful."

She smiled shyly and his heart contracted with his desire to keep her safe.

"You too," she replied. Seeing him standing tall and handsome, looking stylish and groomed she realised how far he'd come since they'd found him almost beaten and starved to death in that lab. Had it really been less than two months? He was almost his old self again.

His shy smile brought out the protector in her.

He stepped closer and held out the flower, and as she took it, her fingers brushed his, passing a jolt of electricity between them.

"Thank you," she said softly, raising her eyes to his and sending a second electrical charge through his body. "It's lovely."

"Here," Cindy spoke, gesturing for the flower and Max handed it over. Cindy snipped the stem short and angled Max's head so she could fasten the tulip into her hair. "Now you look just right."

"Shall we go?" Alec asked and they turned to the door, only be held back once more as Gem insisted they pose for a photo.

"Now you can go," Gem smiled as she handed the digital camera around to the girls for examination.

"I'm so grateful, guys, for everything. You've been amazing," Max thanked them.

"Go on and have a great time," Cindy replied, shooing her off.

Max grinned and took Alec's proffered hand.

There was something strangely magical in the atmosphere. Alec wasn't exactly sure where it had come from but he somehow he knew that whatever happened, tonight was going to be perfect.

#

The car Dix had brought was actually pretty nice. Stolen, obviously, but with very few bullet holes and scratches. It had once belonged to a Familiar, and was in better condition than most of the taxi cabs in Seattle.

As Dix pulled up outside the less than auspicious looking mess hall, Alec stamped down the sudden flare of nerves. Josh had done him proud so far, he wasn't going to lose faith now.

They headed for the door and were greeted by the strange and wondrous sight of a besuited Joshua.

"Welcome!" He greeted them.

"Hey Josh. Look at you!" Max exclaimed. "You look great."

"Hey man. Thanks for all this. It's great, we're really excited." Alec added, finally unearthing the gracious reaction he'd been searching for all day.

Joshua snuffled an embarrassed laugh at their praise. "Max and Alec, very beautiful couple. Evening of glamour and fun. Come in, come in!"

Any lingering doubts Alec had were chased away as they walked in. Joshua had obviously been incredibly busy all day, and had definitely brought in help because the mess had been transformed.

The peeling walls had been sanded down, whitewashed, and hung with some of the best large canvasses from Joshua's art class. The trestle tables and broken down chairs had been cleared out and the floor polished. The cavernous room had been divided into areas by large painted boards, hung with more paintings.

"Joshua, this is amazing!" Alec said, now managing to add enthusiasm to graciousness.

"Looks good, huh? Elegant."

"Awesome," Max confirmed.

"Over here," Joshua said, ushering them to a corner where a bar had been constructed from off cuts of wood, but sanded and varnished to an impressive finish. Soda stood behind it, looking endearingly self-conscious for once.

"Cocktails!" Joshua announced as they settled themselves on stools. "Soda experienced bartender. Advised on best cocktails. Bellini very chic."

They clinked drinks and smiled at each other, wondering how much more bizarre the evening could get. They were answered by the sound of musical instruments being tuned and they turned on their stools to see Bugler accompanied by three young companions from the Manticore band on string instruments, launching into Mozart.

"TC string quartet!" Joshua introduced, and then scampered off to check arrangements for whatever was coming next.

"They're really good," Max observed.

"Can you believe this?" Alec asked. "Josh wouldn't tell me anything he had planned. Man's come a long way from mini hotdog dinner parties."

"He planned everything?"

"Yeah. Even your flower." Alec reached a hand out to touch her hair.

"Wow."

#

At the climax of the music, Joshua returned and led them around one of the screens to find a big comfy sofa set up next to a projector.

"Movie, then dinner." Joshua explained.

"What are we seeing?" Max asked.

"Wait and see. Classic. Very appropriate. Sit, sit!"

They did as they were told and Joshua handed them a bowl of popcorn and moved away to dim the lights.

"Appropriate?" Max whispered. "What is it, Frankenstein?"

"Or Mad Max?" Alec suggested.

"Shut up!" Max laughed, flicking his ear.

The lights went down and the projector whirred into life, casting the picture onto the white wall in front of them.

When the titles came up they snorted in unison. Ah yes, that well known romantic date movie:

Steven Seagal.

Tommy Lee Jones.

_Under Siege._

Max took a handful of popcorn and snuggled close to Alec and they settled in to watch, giggling at the clunky fight scenes and the ludicrous dialogue, ewwing as one at the conclusion of the climactic knife fight, ewwing again at the romantic climax and thoroughly enjoying the unashamed cheesiness of the movie.

The credits rolled and they stretched, readying themselves for whatever Joshua had up his sleeve next.

"It's a classic all right," Alec remarked.

"_He's in a gunfight right now, I'm gonna have to take a message._ I am so using that line!" Max giggled in return.

"You like movie?" Joshua asked, turning the lights back on and switching off the projector.

"Perfect choice," Max assured him.

"Hungry now?"

"Starving," Alec confirmed.

"Your table is ready." Joshua told them managing to maintain a sober tone, in spite of his obvious excitement.

#

The table was behind another partition, and looked like something outside a restaurant in a Venetian piazza. Or an idealised travel brochure photo of it. Intricate wrought iron chairs, white table cloth, candle already lit, and in the centre a glass bowl of red tulips, matching the one Max wore in her hair.

"Josh, this is amazing! Where d'you get all this?" Alec asked, mystified at how he'd achieved so much in a few short hours.

"Lots of help," he replied enigmatically as he pressed play on the iPod dock he'd set up nearby. "Consensus says live quartet uncomfortable when only two having dinner. Also, musicians young. Bedtime."

"Good call, Big Fella," Max replied.

"Ah, waiter!" Joshua announced.

"Good evening," Nila greeted them, carrying a basket of bread and a bottle of wine.

"Nila trained in Silver Service at Manticore. Stealth ninja waiter. And no need to worry, Joshua ideas man only, Artist! Luke is chef. Now, Joshua leave Max and Alec. Enjoy."

Alec shook his head in amazement. Was there anyone Joshua hadn't roped into helping?

#

The starters came out and were delicious. Seared scallops with salsa verde.

"Did they knock off another Government truck?" Max wondered.

Nila collected the empty plates and left them alone. They sipped their wine and in the sudden silence, Alec's nerves got the better of him and he was stumped for anything to say. Oh god, it was exactly as he'd feared. Josh had pulled out all the stops for them and now he was going to be the one to mess it up.

Max savoured the flavours of the scallops and the wine and let the music wash over her. It was a few moments before she realised she wasn't sure what to talk about next.

They were rescued by the arrival of the main course: fillet steak in red wine and thyme jus with dauphinoise potatoes and asparagus. Alec dug in, trying to think of something to say.

Food. Mole had said talk about the food and go from there.

"Steak's great." Wow. Wicked smooth.

"Yeah. Delicious."

They were quiet again and Alec searched for a follow up to 'steak's great'. Damn Corrigan. Before his reintroduction to the delights of Manticore Alec had been gregarious, never at a loss for words. Corrigan had put a serious crimp in his conversation skills for a while, but he was over that now. Talking, joking, nearly cured of the nightmares. Why couldn't he think of anything to talk about with Max?

He opened his mouth and hoped for the best. "I guess Seattle's lucky the first thing I came across outside Manticore was the humble ham salad sandwich. Otherwise I'd have had to up my game in the larceny stakes to keep myself in fillet steak."

"Yeah. Remember that champagne we got in the truck that time? If I'd tasted that after our escape, you'd have had to set up your one man crime wave in another city because I'd have fleeced this one dry by the time you got out of Manticore. God, these potatoes are fantastic. Luke hasn't wasted his time in this siege, huh."

"Looks like a lot of the guys have been busy with something or other."

"Getting on with life, I guess. Didn't stop just because the world wanted us to disappear. Cindy told me she sold Normal one of Fixit's t-shirts and he's actually wearing it."

"No way."

"No word of a lie. And Ralph's started a blog. She and some of the others are writing the entries. Apparently there's people all over the world reading it."

"I heard about that one. And there's the art group." Alec gestured at the canvas hanging next to them. "And Zero's into metalwork. He found a furnace in one of the buildings and there's tonnes of raw material just lying around the place. You know, I bet he made these chairs."

"He made this necklace, for Fran," she held it up for him to see.

"For Fran, huh?" He raised an eyebrow.

"Yeah."

"I can see that." He said thoughtfully. Lots of them were pairing up, creating families within the wider transgenic family, settling down and trusting that there would be a future, or if there wasn't deciding it was better to live the life they had as well as they could than fall back on training; escape and evade, run and hide and maybe survive longer, but spend that time alone.

"When we first set up here I was so frustrated that everyone was still acting like soldiers."

"I remember. You kept tying yourself in knots trying to order them not to follow orders." Alec grinned.

Max laughed at that picture of herself. "It was tough for me. You know how I like to boss people around."

"You like looking out for people." Alec countered and Max blushed.

"You think we're all still soldiers?" She asked. "I mean, the other day when we took down Corrigan. We were still totally tight. And I'm glad we could do that, but it still makes me kind of sad, you know?"

"We've been doing that stuff since we could walk. You don't forget training that deep. I think we'll always have that in us, but we've proved we're more than that. Look what everyone's doing now. Dix is growing tulips."

"What if we do get our freedom? You think people will want to stay here?" Max sounded wistful.

"You don't want to leave," Alec said, and it wasn't a question. Max shook her head.

"This feels like home now."

"It is for me too." Alec replied. "I think it is for a lot of us. I think some people'll go, but most won't. I think we have something special here."

"Yeah, me too." She took his hand, and it was clear she wasn't talking anymore about Terminal City and the other transgenics.

Pretty soon the plates were cleared and Nila had brought dessert; a creamy, velvety pannacotta with raspberry coulis. The conversation lulled, not because they couldn't fill the silence, but because this was a dessert you really needed to concentrate on. As Max scraped the plate with her spoon, she was seriously tempted to lift the plate to do a more thorough job and lick the plate clean.

"Oh my god, that was awesome," she sighed, checking Alec's plate and smiling hopefully at him that he'd spare a little of what he had left.

Alec grinned, "I love you Max, but not enough to hand over a dessert this good."

"You'd die for me but you wouldn't give me your dessert?" She wheedled.

"I might as well die if I don't get to finish this." He asserted, slowly savouring another mouthful.

"You're obviously full. That's why you're eating so slowly. Clearly I have room for more," she pressed, gesturing at her empty plate, scraped almost clean.

"Not my fault you're greedy and you have no patience." He turned his plate around as though deciding which side to attack next, drawing it out deliberately to tease her now. "You should've made yours last."

He moaned quietly as he sucked another morsel off the spoon, playing it up shamelessly. "My god, Luke can cook," he said, enjoying her misery.

"You're mean," she pouted.

"And you're the grasshopper who sang all summer."

"What the hell are you talking about?" She demanded, suppressing her grin.

"You had the same amount as me, which if you think about it isn't fair anyway, since I'm taller and therefore need more sustenance. You wolfed it all down without a thought for the future. I on the other hand thought ahead and made it last." He shook his head sadly at her, "And now you want me to enable your thoughtless and reckless dessert eating habits, not to mention sacrifice my own well being to your rapacious appetites. Can't do it Max, I'd be doing you a disservice."

Max twisted her mouth trying not to laugh at the ridiculous smug look on his face. This was war.

As he went to take his last spoonful she blurred underneath with her own spoon and had the last of the dessert in her mouth before he could even protest. Alec's mouth dropped open in shock.

"I can't believe you just did that!"

She grinned at him eyebrow raised, challenging him to do something about it. She felt a little guilty, but not that guilty.

"I want my dessert back, Max," he warned, as she poked her tongue out, the creamy spoonful balanced on the tip as though telling him to come and get it. This was the upside of having an entire restaurant to themselves. No one to be disgusted by their table manners. Alec blurred to her side and pulled her to her feet, wrapping his arms around her and sharing the last of the dessert with her in a creamy, sweet vanilla flavoured kiss.

Alec drew back, high on sugar and Max's lips, "The trust is broken, Max." He whispered mock seriously. "Next time you go for my dessert, you lose a hand."

"Next time you won't let your guard down. Or taunt me like that. I taught you a valuable lesson. You should be grateful."

"You're a pirate."

"You're a tease."

"Everything ok?" They both started and jumped apart. They'd been so preoccupied with each other that they hadn't heard Joshua's approach.

"That was fantastic."

"Amazing."

They spoke together, clearing their throats and feeling a little embarrassed, wondering how much Joshua had seen. He was either oblivious or choosing to appear so, and they both took their seats again, waiting for him to let them know what was next.

"Coffee, brandy, petit fours," he announced, picking up the plates to give Nila room to place the items with a flourish.

They drew away, leaving Max and Alec alone again, facing each other across the plate of petit fours, each raising their left eyebrows, each trying to hid a smirk.

"Even number," Max observed.

"Yet, but as I pointed out, I'm taller. Plus, you stole my dessert."

"You took most of it back. And haven't you ever heard the saying size doesn't matter?"

"You're banking on that, huh? Me still loving you when we need a crane to take you out on a day trip."

"You're shallow!"

"And you're a glutton!"

They each took a chocolate and popped it in their mouths, and then Max clasped Alec's hands across the table.

"There, now neither of us can pinch the other's ration."

"This isn't exactly ration food."

"I think this might be the best dinner I've ever had," Max said.

"It's definitely the best I've had, by a long way. I can't believe how bad I was freaking out this afternoon. I was snapping at everyone, and poor Josh, I think I maligned his character to almost everyone."

"What happened to Mr I'm Always All Right?"

"He refused to get mixed up in that whole crazy Jam Pony siege thing and lit out for a life on the open road, no strings attached. That guy's not coming back here and we're just gonna have to deal with it."

"I can deal with that. He was such an idiot. I like the guy who stayed way more."

"Even if he is totally neurotic?"

"I find that endearing. Means I don't have to worry about hiding the fact that I'm totally neurotic too."

"You were nervous about tonight?"

"My dating track record isn't exactly...you know, I'm not sure I actually have a dating track record. I think this is the first time I ever even got through the main course before bolting 'cause I just remembered something totally more important I was supposed to be doing anywhere but here." She smiled confidingly, "When Cindy arrived I was practically hyperventilating because I had nothing to wear. This was like a military operation. I had seven women helping me get ready."

Alec's eyes glazed over, "Sounds like one of those old movies where the scantily clad ladies in waiting help the beautiful but lonely princess get almost dressed for her clandestine tryst with her cruel husband's poor but sexy valet."

Max snorted, "Yeah, except everyone but me and Cindy was wearing fatigues, and this isn't clandestine. I think Josh took out an ad in the paper."

"Yeah. I'm trying not to think about all the significant looks we'll be getting tomorrow."

"And Josh asking in front of everyone if Max and Alec got busy last night!"

"That open road's sounding pretty good about now, huh?"

"I don't know. I like the idea of playing the princess and the sexy valet later," Max blushed at her own forwardness but pleased by the wide grin that she'd put on Alec's face.

"Fixit made this dress for me out of anything they could find in my wardrobe that was black. I'm pretty sure this is my only remaining outfit for stealth missions."

"Hate to break it to you Maxie, but that is not a stealth dress. That is a dress that'll turn heads."

"You really like it?"

"I think you should wear it every day. It'll add some glamour to the command meetings. Although I'm not sure I'll be able to concentrate on anything else."

"Do you usually listen in those meetings anyway? I'm ok with you being distracted by me instead of whatever's out the window." Max paused, "I guess it was kind of over the top to get a dress specially made for tonight."

"I took every item of clothing I own to Josh's and it turned out this was the only thing I had that was even halfway appropriate," Alec confessed.

"It's a lot more than halfway appropriate. You look really good."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah. That shirt matches your eyes." Max paused. "_All_ your clothes? I didn't see your bag in the car."

"I left it at Josh's."

"So you're gonna have to do a walk of shame from your own apartment in the morning? That's pathetic!" Max sniggered.

Alec tipped his head in agreement. "I guess I was nervous really 'cause, you know, I wondered if we could do normal," he confessed.

Max nodded. "We're doing everything back to front. First date when we've already been through the flames together."

"I figured going on a date'd be the first normal thing we've done since we hooked up."

Max leaned closer to whisper conspiratorially, "Alec, I don't think this is a normal date. This is well above average. But I get it. You want us to still be _us_ when all the drama's over. Me too."

"And I created plenty of drama today. I mean, now we're here it's fine, no, it's perfect, but there was a moment this afternoon when I actually thought my head was gonna explode."

"We'll be a lot calmer next time," she reassured.

"So you're gonna let me take you on a second date?"

"Maybe I'll take you on the next one."

They both fell silent, then Alec said quietly, almost shyly, "I just want you to still be glad you chose me."

Max smiled gently, her protective instincts surging within her, "I don't think I even have words to say how glad I am I had the chance to choose you."

#

When they were done with coffee, Joshua came out once more.

"All good?"

"That was awesome, Josh. Thanks man, I can't believe you went to so much trouble for us." Alec said, feeling humbled by the scope of Joshua's efforts.

"Lots of help."

"Was there anyone you didn't rope in to help?" Max asked.

Joshua scratched his head. "Can't think of anyone. Everyone grateful to Max and Alec for making possible to catch Corrigan and good news on TV. Plus maybe senator coming through for us. Want to do something nice."

Both Max and Alec blushed and Joshua rolled his eyes. "Never used to be so easily embarrassed." He observed, grinning. He held his arms wide and slapped them both on their shoulders knocking them in to each other.

"Shoo now. Date over. Home, home, time to get busy!"

"Josh!" They both exclaimed, pretending to be scandalised.

#

They stepped out in to the fresh air. For once it wasn't raining and they joined hands and looked up at the stars.

"I was in the desert once," Alec said, his voice wistful. "There were so many stars."

"Yeah, I've never been to the desert, but I've been to places like that. No light pollution. I've never seen this many stars in the city."

"We grew up thinking Manticore controlled everything, you know. But they couldn't control that. They couldn't show us the stars when the city lights drowned them out and they couldn't hide them from us in all that vastness."

Max nodded and they were silent for a moment, just watching.

"Tonight feels magical," Max said.

"It is magical. Thanks to Josh."

"Man knows how to throw a shindig."

"I wasn't very gracious at first."

"You were having mini-hotdog flashbacks."

"I should have more faith in him."

"You will next time."

"Next time I'll do something for him."

"Yeah. _We_ will."

They walked towards home, strolling as though they were in that picturesque Italian piazza rather than the semi derelict streets of Terminal City.

They were back at the door to their building and Alec pulled it open in a theatrically chivalrous gesture.

"Why thank you kind sir," Max joked as he followed her up the stairs.

She opened the door to their apartment and flicked on the light. "See? All back to front. We're already living together."

"Weird idea, this first date thing. Whose idea was this?"

Again they were feeling strangely nervous. Until they spotted the coffee table where a bottle of champagne on ice stood flanked by two flutes.

"Josh thinks of everything."

They poured champagne and then clinked glasses and sipped the cold bubbles.

"Mmm," Max breathed. "I could get used to being spoiled like this."

"We should make the most of it. We're not always gonna be flavour of the month."

Max nodded in agreement. "Let's have some music," She suggested, moving over to the tiny iPod dock on the shelf. Joshua had thought of that too. As the backlight came on to show the Date Night! Playlist, she grinned and pressed play. Joshua's date night music choices were a lot more traditional than his movie choice, Max reflected as the strains of Beethoven's Moonlight Sonata filled the room.

"Pretty," she said, and then sighed happily as Alec moved in behind her and slid his hands around her waist.

"Dance with me?" His voice vibrated low in her ear and his warm breath on her neck sent a wave of desire through her. She turned to face him and slid her hands up his arms until they joined behind his neck and stroked the short soft hairs at his nape. They moved to the music, swaying rather than dancing. Though they would have been embarrassed by such a sentimental display normally, something about the mood of the evening, the stars, the magic Joshua had created allowed them to shake off their self-consciousness and for the length of the song just live in the moment, in the feel of their arms around each other.

Max laid her head on Alec's chest and floated on the lulling music and the sound of his breathing and his heartbeat. His arms around her waist held her close and she felt protected and absolutely safe and secure, somehow both content and thrilled at the same time.

Alec bent his head down and kissed her hair. "When I think of how things were before we hooked up, all this feels like a dream."

"A good dream, I hope?" Max teased.

"Yeah, like Callie put it in my head to crowd out the bad ones. I don't wanna wake up from it."

"If this is a dream, make sure you remember every detail so we can recreate it when you do wake up."

The music changed, and Sinead O'Connor started singing, a song about love, about an angel struggling to see his own worth. Joshua had obviously seen a resemblance. Max tightened her arms around Alec.

As the music faded, and a new song came on, they moved into the bedroom and undressed each other slowly, taking pleasure in gradually revealing bare skin to each other's sight and touch.

Max held Alec's eyes as they lay side by side and he stroked her hair back, drawing a lock between his fingers all the way to its tip. Max rested her hand on his hip, her fingertips following the hard edge of his pelvic bone under the soft skin.

Max was hypnotised by the repetitive motion of his touch in her hair and she committed the exact colour of his eyes to memory.

They didn't speak, just allowed their hands to explore each other's bodies thoroughly and unhurriedly, their eyes locked and open to confidences.

Max was aware of every nerve ending, alive with sensation and yearning to be touched. Her body longed to be joined with Alec, to feel him inside her, yet longed for this slow languorous seduction to go on forever, drawing out pleasure, deepening intimacy.

She felt the heat travel from each point of contact to converge within her, and she swelled and pulsed with need, feeling Alec's body responding in the same way.

Every nerve ending fizzed as his fingertips passed feather light over her triangle of hair and settled, stroking gently back and forth over her clitoris so that she gasped with pleasure. She was so close. She bit her lip on a smile and his expression reflected hers.

"Max," he whispered, her name drawn from deep down inside him, a request, a promise and a caress all in one word.

She reached for him then, her body opening to him until he filled her.

Alec rolled on top of her and she wrapped her legs around his waist, arching so that she rubbed against his hard pubic bone and she cried out his name. She fought the urge to throw her head back, not wanting to give up the eye contact they had maintained throughout. He moved back and forth, drawing himself out slowly and pushing in again, tantalisingly slow and her body was so aroused that the slightest movement of him inside her sent electricity to her centre. He could see how close she was and he kept it slow and gentle, the touch of his fingers light as butterfly wings, extending the anticipation, deepening the pleasure until it was a gorgeous ache she could no longer bear. "Oh god, Alec, please," she whispered and he laughed low and quiet and even the vibration of sound sent a delicious crackle of electricity through her.

Her hands came to his face and she swept his hair, damp now with sweat, away from his forehead. She clenched her muscles tight around his penis. They were almost there, they were so close, but he stopped, held absolutely still, watching her, no smile on his face now, absolutely serious.

"I love you," he whispered.

"I love you," she returned.

Then he pushed in and ground his groin against hers and she was riding the wave, gasping for breath, her heart pounding with his and his soft green irises became an infinite kaleidoscope of colour that swirled and pixelated and broke over her and his name was the song in her pounding heart and she pulled him in hard, as close as she could get as she felt his tremor inside her and he was gasping too, sharing her air, and their bodies were slick with sweat against each other and sparks flew across her skin, tickling and delighting every inch of her, and she broke against him, wave after wave as though it would never stop and she'd ride the pleasure forever and ever and ever.

Finally, just as she thought she might die from the intensity of it, the waves calmed and she raised a shaking hand to catch a bead of sweat on his temple. Alec's chest heaved against hers and he was flushed and shaking too. He relaxed against her and they rolled to their sides. She held him close, keeping her legs wrapped around him. "Stay inside me," she whispered.

Alec's head was spinning and it wasn't the spinning he'd got used to living with when he was struggling to take a full breath. When he'd been 494, making eye contact had been a tactical decision. Eye contact with a trainer had been an act of aggression. But they'd also been trained to lie while looking a person in the eye. After Manticore, he hadn't made eye contact with anyone for a long time. He'd been able to lie without it. He'd been able to get women without it. Somehow telling a lie with his lips didn't bother him as much as telling it with his eyes. And the women had been happy enough to look at his face, his body, and hadn't really looked beyond that, hadn't seen _him_.

Max was looking at him. Max saw _him_ and it both terrified and delighted him. With her it wasn't just physical. It was barely physical. The joining of their bodies had become just a way for him to join with her. To lose himself in her eyes even as she lost herself in his. She held him inside her and surrounded him with her arms, with her legs, with her scent and above all, with her devotion. He was utterly defenceless and absolutely safe.

Not that the physical was to be underestimated. Max's hands stroking every inch of him had brought him to a fever of sensation even before she invited him in. He'd used every ounce of willpower to draw it out and bring her to that summit with him. Now he looked at her tangled hair, her flushed cheeks and her dazed stare and he couldn't keep from smiling. His whole body was smiling, his soul was smiling and somehow he felt that dark centre Joshua had painted all those months ago didn't have to be a shadow over his future anymore.

#

"Tell me something nobody else knows about you."

They'd slept for a while and then Alec had woken to Max tracing her fingertips over his eyebrow in a familiar gesture that had comforted him when he'd been sick but was now loaded with so much more, with sensuality and possession.

"What d'you want to know?" He replied, his voice husky. He'd tell her anything.

"Something that means something to you. Something important I can keep safe for you." Her voice was low, her gaze earnest. "Tell me why you hate the cold."

Alec was taken aback. "How did you know about that?"

"I notice things about you," She said, as though it should be obvious. "Back at the start of the siege, when you were practicing running cold. I could tell you hated it."

Alec looked confused, "But that was before..."

"Before?"

"Before you warmed up to me." He punned, tacking a lopsided smile onto his face, trying to look rakish, but actually looking part hopeful, part suspicious.

"I was warm to you then," she replied.

"Really? I seem to remember you being pissed at me for being late back from that mission. You shoved me." He reminded her.

She shook her head in exasperation, "Drama queen! I wasn't pissed, you idiot. I was worried."

"Really? Because you looked pissed. You sounded pissed and you sure felt pissed." He was half smiling again now.

"Ok, I was a little pissed, 'cause for a split second I wondered if you'd ditched us. But mostly I was worried something happened to you. And then you came back hurt and I didn't know how to react because I cared about you but we weren't like that."

"I was like that," he said quietly.

"Yeah," she agreed. She knew now that she had been too.

Alec didn't want to waste time wondering how things would have been if they'd figured things out and declared themselves earlier. They loved each other, and they had for a long time, but the past wasn't so important anymore, except that it contained their shared history and the events that had shaped them and made them perfect for each other.

Max had noticed that he didn't like the cold.

"It's because of the tests," he said, and it took her a second to catch up and realise he was answering her question.

"When we were kids," she clarified and he nodded.

When he started talking his voice was quiet but it wasn't like when he'd told her about the torture, like he was giving a report. He was allowing emotion into his voice.

"They put us in separate cages and then watched to see how long we'd last. I felt like I'd never be warm again and there was no way out and no way of telling which of us was gonna make it and who'd fall asleep and just never wake up. Maybe it was because of how young we were, but I couldn't think about anything else but the cold."

"That's why Corrigan had that room like a freezer when we found you."

Alec nodded and tried to suppress his shudder as he relived that intense, bone aching cold. Max snuggled closer with her warmth.

"When we escaped it was snowing." She said. "Cold feels like freedom for me. Loneliness because we had to split up, but freedom too."

She swallowed as she allowed her own memories to flood her. "For me it was holding our breath underwater."

"Yeah," he acknowledged. "You saw kids drown."

She nodded. "If the guards didn't think we'd tried hard enough, they'd cuff us to a bolt at the bottom of the pool. When Dora drowned I nearly did too, I was crying and it was so hard to keep from breathing in the water."

"Yeah." He wished he could take that memory from her, but all he could do was listen and offer comfort with his presence.

"You went through that one too?" She asked and he nodded. "But it didn't freak you out like the cold?"

He shrugged, "I guess because I knew it'd be over faster, and I'd know when it was gonna happen."

Max recognised that feeling of acceptance that they might be tested beyond their limits and understanding that one day the kid that got dragged dead from the pool could have been her or Alec. The thought made her shudder. "If we'd..." she couldn't finish, but she wanted to grab him and cling on because the idea of never having held him in her arms made her panic.

"It's over now," he said and she nodded.

"Yeah. It's over now."

They were quiet for a time, each soberly considering how unlikely it was that they could have ended up together. So many of them had died as children. So much had happened that should have kept them apart. It was enough to paralyse them with fear and grief. But they were both alive. They were young and strong and they had their lives in front of them. And they were so much in love. They had the rest of the night ahead of them and they were naked in each others' arms and neither of them could hold onto gloomy thoughts for long.

Max found her attention focusing on the warmth of Alec's fingertips drifting lazily up and down the forearm she had draped across his chest and his attention concentrated on the warm tickle of her breaths over his collarbone. Then they were kissing and their hands were urgent and all they could think about was the ecstasy of joining together again.

###

Alec woke first. They' been awake until just before dawn and the sun was already high in the sky so that it had warmed the room through the thin cotton blind. Max was snuffling gently, a smile playing on her lips that made him wish he could share her dream. His limbs were languid with last night's exertions and his thoughts floated in no particular direction, taking in impressions. The corner of the blind splashed yellow with sunlight. The tulip he'd taken from Max's hair on the nightstand, still vibrant crimson, but a little wilted. Max had said she was going to lay it under something heavy so it would dry out and she could keep it as a memento. Music from Joshua's playlist still drifted in through the open bedroom door; some old power ballad now.

Alec smiled; how many hours worth of songs had Joshua collected for their date night? It had been a perfect night. He shouldn't have been surprised at how resourceful the transgenics were, but he still couldn't get over how many of them had chipped in to make it special.

It was all because of Max. She'd worked so hard to show them that they were more than soldiers, that they could be anything they wanted, and last night they'd proved to her how far they'd come. He was so proud to be a part of that. He was so proud of Max.

She snorted softly as she woke, sliding against him in a feline stretch that roused his ardour once more. She giggled delightedly as he peppered her body with kisses and invited him to revisit the delights of the night before.

###

It was dusk again before they rose in search of something to eat. They relaxed together on the sofa, sharing the eclectic contents of the fridge. An apple, a slice of cold pizza and half a jar of peanut butter. It wasn't the fine dining they'd sampled the night before, but had it been, they couldn't have enjoyed it more.

"I've been thinking," Alec mused.

"Oh crap!" Max teased, "Everyone assume crash positions."

Alec crossed his eyes and grimaced comically. "I'm serious. I have an idea."

"Go on then, lay it on me," she smiled. She was only teasing. Sometimes Alec's ideas were boneheaded. Like when he got himself taken prisoner and tortured, or let himself get shot. Those tended to be his heat of the moment ideas though. His "I've been thinking" ideas tended to result in semi trucks full of canapés and champagne snuck in through a horde of soldiers and a murderous crowd, or meditation techniques that allowed them to pass for ordinaries. Sometimes his ideas bordered on genius.

"We're not soldiers anymore."

"Go on."

"We're bloggers and seamstresses and chefs and furniture makers."

She smiled and took up his list, "We're artists and cocktail waiters and computer programmers."

We're friggin' market gardeners. We're businesses. We should be getting paid."

"Well, yeah, but how're we gonna do that? We're still waiting on Charlie to come up with the goods."

"That's my point though. We're not waiting. People are reading the blog. Normal's wearing Fixit's t-shirt. We're already out there. We can make this happen now and the law can catch us up."

Max winced and Alec shook his head.

"Not in a Thelma & Louise way," he clarified. "In a good way. We can market ourselves."

"You don't think it's too risky?"

"We can test the waters; let people come to us. Those that want our services. The blog could be a way to start. We expand it into a website we can sell through. TCdotcom."

"Huh."

"What'd you think?"

Max thought through the possibilities and a slow smile spread over her face. They had the seeds of what could take them that final step from the TC ghetto to just another part of the city. They just needed the push to take things larger.

"I think you might have something there," she replied.

She glanced at the window and then met his eyes. It was practically dark now. They'd have to wait until the morning to share the plan. She had Alec to herself until then.

###

"Well, what do you think?" Alec looked around at the sea of faces. Usually Max made the big speeches but she'd refused this time, insisting it was his idea, so he should tell everyone. He was strangely nervous.

"So all these businesses are gonna be joined up?" Mole asked.

"Yeah, through the website. It'll be a co-operative. Some parts of this are gonna take off quicker than others, and there'll be stuff that needs to go on in the background to make it all happen and keep this place ticking over, but everyone's gonna be making a contribution, so everyone deserves a fair share of the profits."

"You gonna be in charge of divvying up the shares?" Dalton's teasing voice rose from the crowd and everyone laughed.

Alec grinned is most piratical grin, suddenly feeling on firmer ground, "You don't trust me with your money? That hurts! No, I was thinking Bugler could be our accountant. Kid's a math genius. You know he can recite Pi to over 250,000 places? Made me listen while I was recuperating."

"How do you know he said it right?" asked Zero, who was holding Bugler in a headlock so the praise wouldn't go to his head.

"I don't, but the kid's got an honest face, don't you think?"

"How're we gonna move stuff? We're still technically on lockdown," Fran asked.

Max had her hand in Alec's and her body was reacting to the excitement she could feel coming from him. These were questions they'd only be asking if they were in. Was this really going to happen? How _were_ they going to get their goods and services out into the world?

"I have an idea about that." Alec cleared his throat and Max braced herself. Of course he had an idea.

"Normal. Apparently he's loosened up about all us transgenics since he helped Gem deliver her baby. Plus the man loves a guaranteed income. We contract with Jam Pony for logistics."

"You think he'll go for that?"

"I'll talk to him," Alec shrugged. "He'll want in just so we don't go to some other courier service."

"Plus he'll be missing his Golden Boy," Max teased.

"I'm not above using that." Alec reminded her with grin.

"We gotta wait for the Senator to push all that paperwork through?" asked Hope.

"No. We're thinking we can force their hands. We have a right to make a living." Max said.

"So. Co-operative, huh?" Mole repeated, looking at Alec with one eyebrow raised. "You came up with this idea?"

"Yeah," Alec answered warily.

"So we've got the anti-transgenic activists off our backs just in time for Mr Capitalism here to get us branded as the new Red Threat!"

Mole's teasing aside, everyone was fired up by the idea and suggestions for the website businesses came thick and fast so that by the next day it was already designed in beta. They had to be reined in from making it live before the boring stuff like business licences and such had been investigated.

Max and Alec headed out together to make their proposition to Normal.

###

"Well, well, if it isn't the two genetically engineered ne'er do wells," Normal greeted from behind his counter.

"Missed you too, Normal," Max snarked back. She rested her forearms on the countertop and stuck her hip out in a familiar pose. She was amused at her feelings of nostalgia for the old place.

"You looking for your old jobs back?"

"You offering?" Max asked in surprise, as she detected a hint of hopefulness in his tone.

Normal shrugged, "You transgenics might have been slackers and shirkers of the first order, but when you put your minds to it, you weren't the worst messengers in the city. That speed and resilience to being hit by cars is sadly missing in this younger generation." Normal sounded pained as he looked around the office.

It looked pretty much the same as it always had. Young men and women in baggy pants and colourful head gear sitting around shooting the breeze, playing cards or performing tricks on their bikes.

One keen looking girl on a red bike rode in.

"Hey, new girl!" Normal yelled, throwing a box wrapped in brown paper in her direction, "Hot run, sector six. Bip!"

He glanced back at Max and Alec, "Started yesterday. These reprobates haven't drained the work ethic out of her yet."

"Normal, I'm only saying this on account of I don't work here anymore, but the hourly rate's your problem. Gotta switch to a per run per mile model. That'll get 'em moving," Max offered.

"Not a bad idea, missy miss," Normal replied, regarding her with a mixture of shock and suspicion.

Alec's expression was not far off matching Normal's. "I thought I was the shameless capitalist," he accused.

"Normal agrees to our proposition, and it's gonna be our stuff languishing behind that desk while those good for nothin's sit around on our dime." She pointed out, recalling her own less than stellar efforts as a bike messenger in a whole new light.

Normal's ears pricked up. "Proposition?"

Normal had seen the news broadcasts lately and seemed satisfied that the potential profit was worth what he considered a relatively small risk in being known to do business with transgenics. And after all, as he pointed out in a characteristically callous tone, he was behind the desk. It was his riders who'd be on the front line.

It was Max and Alec's turn to cast pained looks at the lollygagging workforce and pretty much telepathically they agreed there'd be a discreet transgenic protection detail for the Jam Pony couriers until they were satisfied things would play out ok.

###

Things moved fast after that. Transgenics on a mission were nothing if not single-minded. The only drawback, and it wasn't insignificant, was that until things were settled legally, they weren't able to hold a business licence.

Hope came up with a solution that kept ruffled feathers to a minimum. It was only for the short term, but Cindy would hold the business licence until the transgenics' status was regularised. It was testament to how much she'd become a member of the Terminal City family that some of the newer arrivals hadn't realised that Cindy wasn't a transgenic, and even the prickliest and most defensive of them were pissed with the situation and those who'd created it, rather than with Cindy for having rights they still didn't.

As it turned out, it was barely necessary. They launched the site on Monday morning and on Thursday afternoon, Senator Winstone called to let them know that the bill had been passed. It was possibly the quickest Washington had ever moved outside of wartime. Winstone was sending a team to process paperwork first thing in the morning. By close of business next Tuesday, they would all have social security numbers, driver's licenses and passports. The business could be legally owned by the transgenic cooperative.

As the man who'd brought the senator into their lives, and been the means of legally reconciling the transgenic community with their country of birth, Alec suffered a sudden dip in popularity, ironically exacerbated by the startling success of the first week of their new enterprise.

"Great idea, dumbass," Mole groused when he heard the news.

As full citizens, and business owners, for the first time they'd all be expected to pay taxes.

###

Orders started coming in from all over, for all different parts of the business. Furniture, clothing, computer wizardry. They'd been asked to act as body guards, but they'd also been hired to provide catering and flowers for a society wedding.

They knew it was the novelty factor right now but they were hopeful that once people saw the quality of their work, they'd build a reputation and start to see steady business and repeat customers.

###

A few weeks later, Max was approached by a journalist wanting to do a piece on their new enterprise. Max turned the guy down. If anyone deserved the story, she knew who it should be.

"Hey Logan." She felt more relaxed than she ever had in his presence. She knew who she was now, and where she belonged. The past was in the past and she could meet him on equal, friendly terms.

"Thanks for inviting me over. It was a nice surprise," he replied.

"You remember back when you wanted to do that documentary from TC?" She asked.

As though that was something he'd forget. He'd pushed the idea pretty much every time they'd talked for months.

"Yeah," he said warily. Too much to hope that she'd changed her mind, finally.

"I don't wanna be in it, but if you talk to the others and they agree, I won't stand in your way."

She and Alec had talked about it the night before. A positive profile on the transgenics and how they were now contributing to society in a non-violent way might be just the thing to allay some of the residual fears they knew still existed outside Terminal City. They knew they couldn't win everybody over but the more ordinaries to whom they could demonstrate their good intentions, the harder it would be for White and his network to spread lies about them.

The more support they'd be able to hope for when White inevitably tried to move against them.

Max vetoed the idea of including any of the children in the documentary, but quite a few adult members of the community decided to take part, foremost among them, Soda and Nila who had dreams of taking their breathtaking physical beauty out into the wider world, maybe into acting or modelling. Possibly just being reality TV stars and then personalities making a living being photographed walking into and staggering out of hard to get into clubs.

Max and Alec watched the circus that followed with bemusement. After a lifetime of hiding in the shadows, of doing their absolute level best not to be noticed, the transgenic appetite for the spotlight was astonishing to them.

They both refused to appear on film, not wanting to have to be so self conscious going about their daily business, but they did finally agree to be interviewed for the voiceover.

Logan led them through the story of the siege and how they'd managed to bring about what appeared to the outside world to be such a sudden reversal of fortune.

They spoke with pride about the sense of community they'd built, about the camaraderie and the sense of purpose they'd carved out for themselves while they'd been trapped within the walls of a toxic dump. About the work they'd done to make Terminal City safe for themselves and any ordinary visitors who might take the notion to stop by.

Some of the questions were hard to answer. Max's heart pounded when she had to talk about their losses and especially their encounters with Corrigan. Her throat closed up and she clung hard to Alec's hand when he recounted the bare bones of the time he'd spent at Manticore.

Still, overall, Max started to understand the reasons why so many of them had wanted to take part. She found it surprisingly liberating to tell her story, to know that people would hear what they'd been through and to trust that the judgements and shame would be for others to shoulder.

Logan brought the interview to a close with a final question.

"A couple of years ago, almost nobody knew you even existed. Nobody who did know would have predicted anything but a life of forced military service for the transgenic soldiers. Now you've given everyone in Terminal City equal status with the rest of the people of this country, and finally the opportunity to discover their true vocations. What I think the viewers will want to know is: what's next for Terminal City's leaders? What do the two of you want to do with the rest of your lives?"

Logan so wished they'd agreed to be filmed, because Max and Alec exchanged matching expressions of utter bafflement.

They'd been so busy taking care of everyone else that it honestly hadn't occurred to either one of them that they had given themselves the same opportunity to discover their talents and follow their dreams as they had to every other transgenic in Terminal City.

"Well now that's something to think on," Max replied with a beaming smile.

###

**The end.**

###

**I hope you'll forgive the shamelessly soppy happy ending. I really thought I'd made them suffer enough!**

**Another thank you for following me all the way to the end, because I really can't say it enough. Thank you so much to those of you who've made this story a favourite or added me to your story or author alerts and most of all for the reviews, which are so exciting to receive. I can't tell you how grateful I am, and how much they have bolstered my confidence and ambitions as a writer. **

**It's been such a great experience to write something like this, and even though I've been rubbish at updating in a timely manner, I really have spent vast amounts of time thinking about this story and writing it in my head even when I haven't been as disciplined as I should have about chaining myself to my laptop.**

**I've got hazy plans for other Dark Angel stories. I'd really like to take a crack at Max's runes and some sort of resolution for the White situation. I felt like they were too big to deal with in this story, and I like the idea of reintroducing that threat to the folks in TC when they're settled and somewhat integrated in Seattle society. Basically, when their guard is down. So, if you're interested, watch this space. **


End file.
